Bar Brawl!
Reuters: Several moments ago it was brought to our attention that a brawl broke out in an inn at Bree – Could this be the result of the accumulating hobbits in this part of the region? We find out more;
"Bree is a city of both humans and hobbits," claims the governor, who was not too happy about being woken up in the middle of the night – "and we understand how it's possible when two races intermingle with each other a lot, there are fights that break out." We asked him what he had to say about the recent scandal involving him and several hobbiton & dwarven women discovered at his bedchamber at which the governor insisted he had no comment but if he had anything to say at all, it would be; "This is free people's lands! FREE! I can do whatever or whoever I want, I'm the bloody governor!" The door was slammed on our faces, but it made us wonder nonetheless if being free was really that good after all and if it was not worth giving Dark Lord Sauron a chance at ruling since it could remove wierdos like the governor of Bree out of office.
Some suspect the malice to be work of Bilbo's nephew Frodo Baggins. It is now truly apparent that Bilbo didn't adopt Frodo out of pure sympathy, but he wanted to pass on the knowledge of disturbing peace in the most unlikely of places. We have also been informed that the nine hoodies who were arrested earlier for causing malfeasance in the area have escaped, and the captain of the guard has been trampled. Whilst still breathing, we have been forced to commemorate his bravery and thus we did lest we be tossed out into the drastic Haradrim coast; "a brave captain who deserves no less honour! Whilst not having achieved much in his life, he saved his county the costs of hiring another Captain. Bravo!"
A special reward of ten gold pieces and pound of Halfling's leaf is offered to anyone who catches the nine hoodies. We are pleased to announce the recent inauguration of "Letters to The forum!" and to make a splendid start our readers are encouraged to write and let us know how they'd want the nine hoodies punished.
"They serve 'em in pints! Bloody pints!" This message has been brought to you by Merry and Pippin, who insisted we post it or else say goodbye to our next harvest – we decided to be prudent. Don't forget to get our next issue where we document the first ever Middle Earth wife swap! What happens when an orc gets a dwarf for a wife? And how does the orc lass fare against the rugged dwarven mines? Can the she-dwarf withstand the 'might' of Mordor? Or would the orc female give it up in the face of fine Dwarven craft? Find out more on "One Elven Joyride!"