A Wizard Went Down to Moria, He was Looking for a Soul to Steal...
Reuters: ...He was in a bind, he was way behind – he was looking to make a deal. Our Fellowship has now made it successfully out of Moria, but the events that took place in the last one week were more than just a bit hazardous – both to Moria and its residents.
"Let the ringbearer decide." Gandalf announced, we observed as Frodo finally gave up pushing Merry and Pippin off the ridge and grinned. He's finally won the bet how Saruman was the better wizard than Gandalf, their eyes narrowed and Aragorn had to pull this little trouble maker back again as he repeated the same trick on Gandalf, finally succumbing to agreement how they should travel through the mines of Moria. "Soon you'll witness the splendour of Dwarven hospitality! We break open heads, rip off necks and dance with spears stuck in our arse – it's just that time of the year!" Gimli announced, joyful at the notion of returning back to celebrate their annual festival, the Fellowship exchanged looks. We noticed how before Aragorn would have had the chance, Legolas freed his horse and let it wander off when we arrived at the entrance, much to Aragorn's disdain as it seemed our faction-heir had harboured unclean intentions for the innocent beast once the riding was done, we also interfered and reminded him of his punishment and he promised he'd behave.
We watched from faraway as Gandalf sang tunes throughout the night, begging the dwarves to open their door, and Merry & Pippin tossed stones in the water. Frodo tried to join in the chorus, the mountainfolk must have taken a liking to his voice because then the doors creaked open, but it was something else that held the scene. Suddenly we spotted a giant tentacle monster that got out of the river and began crying; she was clearly complaining about the two hobbits hunting her with small rocks. Suddenly Aragorn and Legolas joined in the fun as well, as they hurled arrows and swords at the poor thing. She wept and tried to block off the assault but our fellowship was insistent. It was only the idea of ripping necks and spear in arse festival that drew them away and they finally made their way into the mines. The door closed behind us as we followed, and for a moment it seemed as if the whole world would come crashing down.
Inside we discovered much to Gimli's dismay that Balin had lost the mines of Moria to goblins in a game of poker. An account from Balin's diary said; "They came with skill of great renown, and when the last cards were revealed the Earth shook as each of them fell on the table. They won, room after another until the whole castle is theirs – we now make for Dain's Halls. P:S = No festival this year, what a bitch." Soon the goblins appeared and demanded compensation for our woeful trespass – during the process of negotiation it was discovered Frodo had a mithril west worth more than the entire Shire, Gandalf owed the goblins too, Aragorn also harboured indecent desires for goblins, Merry and Pippin like to jump, Gimli likes Legolas way too much and the fat hobbit is still the wrong choice for this fellowship.
In the end they were allowed safe passage but Gandalf would now have to share his bed with the balrog for 15 days and 14 nights. With each day, hope rekindles anew – as the fellowship continues its journey.