So the first two chapters disappeared from my document manager. I'm pretty sure you guys can still see the chapters, but if you can't will someone please let me know?

This is the part where I tell y'all that I'm sorry I've been lame and that it's taken me forever to get this to you. I'm getting married in three months, studying for the GRE, etc. and life has somewhat caught up with me.

I hope you all enjoy! If it's bad let me know, or if it's good I like to hear that too :) All characters and situations in the following story are the creative property of Stephanie Meyer and not mine. I wish though.

Chapter 5

Esme

The beginning of the 1930's marked a horrible time in American history. Everyone, vampires and humans alike, hoped dearly that the forties would bring the economy back to the surface. My family and I kept to ourselves during that time. Of course Carlisle continued to work, but Edward and I mostly studied and explored. We spent all of our time together since neither attended school, though that didn't mean we weren't learning. He and I together learned several different languages. He'd already learned to speak Spanish and Portuguese during his time in the south, and I spoke French. It was customary, during my human years, for a child with a proper upbringing to be fluent in French. We each taught the other our languages then together learned several more including German and Arabic. The aspect I loved most about being a vampire was the potential capacity for knowledge. I'd never dreamed that I would be able to speak six languages aside from my own.

Some time around nineteen thirty-six Carlisle came home in a rush with a screaming woman in his arms. He looked at Edward and I apologetically as he laid the broken woman on the cold floor.

"I'm sorry, I had to act. She was about to die and I couldn't let it happen. She was a patient of mine when she was younger. She's very kind and loving, I couldn't just let her die." He replied with pain in his voice. His distress was obvious – Carlisle rarely repeated himself. I could see the crescent shaped bites on her wrists from where he'd bitten. Of course, I immediately reacted.

"Carlisle! What is this? We've been through this, what if she wanted to pass on? How did she injure herself so completely?" I asked.

He looked ashamed. I haven't seen my father so broken since the day he accidentally changed me.

"Was this an accident father?" I asked tenderly.

"No my dear, this was no accident. My actions here were completely selfish and uncalled for. I was hoping she might take me as her mate." His face distorted in pain. "I can't imagine what you must think of me."

I was blown away; I never realized a mate was something Carlisle desired. I shouldn't have been so foolish to assume that he didn't have the desire just because I didn't think about being mated. I wondered momentarily if Edward thought about it but I guessed not since he always seemed content when we were together.

"Carlisle, that's not selfish. I didn't realize it was something that you desired, otherwise we could have found someone for you long ago." It made me sad that Carlisle wanted a mate but never mentioned it.

"No, I didn't know either. When I saw her lying there it immediately came to my mind. It was something I had considered long ago, but after living through the pain and guilt caused by changing you, Isa, I knew my only chance was to find a female vampire. After two centuries of searching I have yet to find one, besides our family in Denali, who is not a monster. But this woman, her name is Esme, she's one of the kindest most pure individuals I have ever met. She is truly caring and wants nothing more than a family to love. I know we can offer her what she needs, but I'm worried she will not return my affections. I'm also worried she'll hate the demon she will become. Of course I didn't think of any of this before biting her, I just acted. I couldn't let her die." He cried. He truly cared for this woman and I hoped she would care for him as well.

We waited for her to awake. Carlisle left only long enough to resign from the hospital where he was currently working. He never left again once returning to her side. When he came back, Edward and I went to hunt so he could be alone with his potential mate. After we were satisfied, we stayed in the woods for a while. There was a small field that broke up the dense forest where we liked to spend time, especially when it was sunny. We sat in silence, watching the sky turn from day to night, both lost in our own thoughts.

I was thinking of Carlisle and Esme. If she was every bit of what my father thought, she was going to be a good fit. She would, should she decide to stay, become my mother of sorts. Though I'm incredibly older than her she'd be mated to my father, putting her in a motherly position. Judging by what Carlisle told us of her caring nature, I'd hoped it would make her happy to have two 'kids'.

"Do you think she'll like us?" I asked Edward quietly after some time.

His brow furrowed in deep thought. "I can't be sure but I hope so. Carlisle seems to be good at choosing his family, even when on accident." He smiled at me.

"Yes, I suppose he is." I smiled back. "He certainly did a good job choosing you, and I imagine choosing a mate would be much more involved. I just hope that she doesn't refuse his love. He said he treated her as a patient once, maybe she'll remember him."

"Have you ever thought of having a mate, Isa?" He asked me suddenly. It caught me off guard.

"No, I haven't. I'm not exactly the most attractive woman and I don't know how to act like a proper wife. No one has ever asked, either, though I would probably say no regardless."

"Why is that?" He spoke quickly, giving me the impression that he was very interested in the conversation.

"I suppose I would be extremely uncomfortable in that situation and would not know how to react. While I envy the thought of Carlisle having someone I don't ever see myself in the same position. I've always felt content with you and Carlisle and have never felt I needed more in my life to make me happy. The idea of having a mother does make me happy, though. More happy than I'm ready to admit." He smiled at me, though sadly. I wondered why but did not question him.

Some time after twilight Edward jumped suddenly from his place on the Earth beside me, causing me to jump.

"It's time!" he exclaimed. He extended his hand to help me up from the ground, but I didn't need it. I jumped up quickly and we ran to the house together. Usually he would have already beaten me to the house, but tonight he slowed his pace to stay with me. We wanted to be there before she awoke so she wouldn't be startled by our approach. When we arrived Carlisle was crouched over her, waiting with bated breath.

She awoke slowly, much slower than Edward or myself. It was as if she knew she wouldn't like what she was about to see. When she finally opened her eyes she smiled as they fell upon Carlisle's worried face.

"Where am I?" she asked in one of the sweetest voices I'd ever heard. I couldn't have had any idea at that moment how much I would love the woman on the floor. She maintained her smile as Carlisle introduced us to her, nodding slightly. Her gaze drifted over Edward and myself, not an ounce of fear or anger behind them.

Carlisle tensed when she absent-mindedly began rubbing her throat as she smiled kindly up at us.

"It's lovely to meet you, but I must say I don't understand how I got here. The last thing I remember is jumping off a cliff and then burning!"

She spoke of her unpleasant death with a large smile on her face. Edward looked sad for her, his brows furrowed in concern. It made me curious as to what he was seeing in her mind. Surely her life had been difficult if such a kind-natured person attempted suicide and succeeded. Compassion seeped out of every inch of her and I knew that she would accept this new life and family with ease, even if she had once considered our kind monsters. She had a family to love, and by the sparkle in her eye when she looked at us, she knew she was home.

"I remember you," she said as she turned to Carlisle. "I broke my leg when I was sixteen and you mended it. You look exactly the same as I remember you." Her eyes were wide and sparkled with adoration. It was obvious that she was going to make Carlisle a very happy man.

"I did, my name is Carlisle Cullen and I found you after you fell. Though unfortunately, this time I couldn't mend your wounds." He said solemnly.

"I don't understand I'm here aren't I? I don't feel any pain at all except in my throat. You must have done something?" She grabbed her neck again as she said this, which allowed Carlisle a distraction.

"We can make your throat feel better if you'd like, before we start talking. Would you like to do that first?" She nodded numbly. It looked as though she would do anything Carlisle wanted as long as he was with her.

We told her what she'd become after her first hunt. At first she was rather taken aback but slowly got used to it, as we all did. Killing anything is always hard for someone so caring. She was certainly thankful that it was us that turned her, as opposed to normal vampires. That life certainly would have been miserable for her.

Esme turned out to be an easy newborn. Her compassionate nature made it easier for her to control her thirst. Despite the fact that we lived in the woods where she could have drank as much as she wanted, the idea of hurting animals bothered her and she only hunted when her need was great. Since she insisted on hunting so rarely we waited longer than normal before exposing her to people, just over a year. Esme would have been crushed if she lost control around a human; we weren't going to let that happen at any cost.

Eventually, though it took some time to be legally married with a ceremony, the happy couple made their vows and we moved back into the house. We only stayed there long enough to let the newlyweds get the "love" out of their system. Newly mated vampires are not fun to be around, and there were nights when Edward and I had to leave the house because their sounds of passion were unbearable. I had never been intimate nor had I seen it or heard it. The sounds put images in my head of Edward that I had never imagined before and I didn't understand what was wrong with me.

Needless to say we spent every night in our field deep within the forest.

But, for the first time ever, our family actually felt complete. It was strange for a while to not be the only girl in Carlisle's life, or in the family in general. I had lived with him, just us, for so long. It wasn't quite as strange when Edward joined us considering he was also male, something I was used to. When I was human I had to be strong in order to gain respect, so I usually didn't do well with other women. I knew that no man would want to be with such a woman, so I didn't try. It was never easy for me to act like a proper girl. In grade school (or rather, grade-school-aged, as there was no school in my town) I had no friends; the boys didn't talk to girls and the girls rejected me completely. I was often the topic of gossip because of my failure to acknowledge social roles. It was odd to have a female in the family, especially one who treated me so kindly.

When the happy couple could finally somewhat control their urges, we moved to start over in a new city. Then, not long after we moved, Esme took me shopping. Though the states were in a depression, our family always had money. Carlisle and I were both from somewhat wealthy backgrounds to begin with, on top of which we amassed a fortune during our years that continued to grow exponentially. So, basically, we could shop as often as we wanted. We had always lived rather luxuriously though I held no real interest in possessions. We always had the top of the line of anything one might need in order to appear normal, always the finest clothing and nicest cars. Collecting expensive cars was Edward's hobby, an interest shared by Carlisle as well. I never understood their obsession with cars, though I did understand their need for speed.

Our shopping day was my first time to truly be alone with my new mother. Not long after we finished settling into our house my mother stole me away to change my wardrobe. I reluctantly followed her into a rather chic, modern boutique just off the main drag.

"What's your favorite color, Isa?" Esme asked as she grabbed a dark green blouse from the table and held it up to my chest. She made a face and gently placed it back on the table.

"Usually I wear black, brown, or blue. I don't know much about fashion; I just wear what I must to blend. I usually like to be comfortable." She approached me to take my hands in hers.

"You're very beautiful, Isa, did you know that?" I shook my head slowly, trying hard to hide the smirk forcing my lips to turn. I didn't think it was true, but it was nice to hear it.

Grabbing seemingly random items from the racks and throwing them onto her arm in surprising disorder for this perfect woman, she spoke again.

"I know you have been alive for a very long time and you've never really been told how attractive you are. I also know that you are a very simple woman who cares very much for her work. It's 1939, and women have a much bigger role in the workplace. It's becoming more acceptable for women to be hard workers. You can be yourself now! You will still be respected if you wear a skirt and jacket with a blouse to work. You can still wear your breeches and cotton shirts in the field if you'd like." She winked at me.

When I did not reply, she shoved a handful of clothes into my arms and led me into a dressing room where she continued speaking her thoughts.

"Did you have many girlfriends when you were young?" she asked. I laughed for a moment.

"I had none. My mother died in childbirth so I never knew how to connect with females. My father did the best he could," I smiled as I remembered my biological father with fondness, "but I still ended up living the 'life of a man'. He was proud of me, though he felt as if he'd failed to raise me correctly. I never had many friends of either sex." Despite the worried look in her eyes, Esme gave me an understanding smile while handing me item after item to try.

First I tried a beautiful dark blue, layered dress that fell below my knees, very voluminous and flowing. There was a top layer made of sheer blue fabric and a solid bottom layer of the same color. It cinched tight around my waist with a small fabric flower at the tie. The sleeves were oversized and puffy but attractive. Esme then slipped a long ivory fur coat over my shoulders and shoved my feet into a pair of medium-high heels. I had to admit that I certainly looked womanly in the outfit, the sleeves and skirt puffed out in just the right places to give me the illusion of curves. I was slightly tall for a woman, but not much more than average. My hair was a mahogany color, which fell to my mid-back in messy, curly waves. Usually I kept it pulled back in a tight bun though the new style was somewhat short and very curly. Esme pulled my hair out of its bindings and let it fall freely down my back. She always wore her hair down.

With my hair flowing and the form-fitting clothes I was wearing, I did look somewhat stunning.

I tried on what could have been a hundred more outfits including some rather beautiful evening gowns. After what seemed like twelve hours but was in reality closer to three, we returned home with a car full of bags. The boys stood on the porch with amused expressions before carrying all of our new things into the house.

Esme and I spent a few minutes with Carlisle and Edward talking about our day and asking about theirs. Edward started attending high school in the town where we lived, and apparently it was an exciting day for the humans. I couldn't imagine what it must've been like for Edward to spend hours in such a crowded building, especially when filled with teenagers and their thoughts.

After a lull in the conversation, Esme stood and said that we were all going to go dancing as a family. We couldn't argue with her, she was much too sweet. Normally I hated dancing because I never had anyone to dance with, but now I had a brother who loved me enough not to let me sit on the sidelines. When our mother announced her plans he looked at me with a huge smile and wide eyes. I was speechless. I smiled back but didn't understand why he looked so excited. Ever since Carlisle changed Esme Edward had acted somewhat strange. We were still best friends but he wasn't as happy as he had been. He also spent all of his time with me, only letting me out of his sight when he was at school. I wasn't sure what to think of his behavior, but I knew I didn't mind. I didn't like it when he wasn't around.

Esme grabbed my hand and called over her shoulder that we would be getting ready to go out. Of course, I thought, she only wants to show off the new clothes. I couldn't argue that my new outfits were beautiful and I was excited to wear them. She dressed me in a rich blue silk dress that hugged my body down to my knees, where the skirt became more full and cascaded to the ground. The neckline was rather low for my comfort, but it was beautiful nonetheless. My mother lined my eyes with black makeup, curled my eyelashes, and ran a mascara brush through them. She handed me a stick of deep red lipstick (which I dutifully applied) before quickly dressing herself. She added the finishing touches to my outfit: elbow-length gloves, several long strands of natural pearls from the collection Edward gave me, and a minx shawl. She used pearl and diamond encrusted clips to pull my hair back in such a way as to appear short and stylish. She slipped on my shoes and we were ready to go.

I walked toward the door but Esme slapped my hand gently. "A lady always lets someone else open the door for her!" she giggled. "Poor Edward always tries to open doors for you and you never notice." She said with a somewhat sad tone in her voice as she opened the door.

Carlisle and Edward had changed into very stately looking suits. Edward was breathtakingly handsome, and his eyes grew wide as they scanned over me slowly. It took him several moments to compose himself, so Carlisle spoke first.

"Isa dear, you look spectacular! Absolutely beautiful. I've never seen you in a formal dress, you look incredible." He smiled hugely and pulled me into a hug.

"Carlise took all of my adjectives," Edward chuckled, "but truly you look amazing." He stared at me with intensity, his golden eyes burning into mine. Then he turned and offered me his arm. I smiled widely and took it allowing him to lead me to the car.

We danced until the jazz club closed that night. It was an incredible feeling dancing all night long. I had never gone to the club before and I definitely planned on going back. Something peculiar was going on while we were there, though. Several human men asked me to dance, which had never happened to me before. I guessed that the way Esme dressed me and fixed my hair and make-up made me look attractive to them. They certainly seemed to be taken aback by me, and I didn't quite understand why.

When we got home Carlisle and Esme went immediately to their room on the other side of the house leaving Edward and I alone.

"I think I might change." I said with an embarrassed look on my face. I tugged on the dress and grimaced which made Edward chuckle.

"Me too" he replied.

When I returned to the living room I was wearing a set of pajamas Esme let me buy earlier in the day. I left my hair and make-up alone. Edward was sitting on the piano bench, touching the keys every now and then in what sounded like the beginnings of a melody. He wore a set of khaki breeches and a cotton undershirt. He was rather stunning in the low light, leaned over the piano with a furrowed brow. He looked so troubled which I didn't understand, but seemed to brighten up a bit when I returned.

When he looked up, his smile stretched across his face. If I could have blushed I would have. I suddenly felt ridiculous.

"I feel ridiculous," I spoke my thoughts aloud, "earlier I didn't but now I do. I suddenly realized how absurd it is for a vampire to wear pajamas!" I laughed loudly. He laughed too, and we sat there gripping our bellies for several moments. His face turned serious again quickly however, and he turned back to the piano.

I debated with myself whether or not to ask him, but my curiosity won, "What's wrong Edward? Is everything alright?"

He smiled but it didn't touch his eyes. "I don't know, Isa, but I don't really want to talk about it. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, it's just… you can't really help me and I don't want to burden you with my problems. Please don't worry about it?"

"If you insist!" I said with a smile. I hoped he would get over it, whatever it was.

I pulled out a very old edition of Jane Eyre and pretended to read, but really I was thinking. I wondered if Edward was jealous of Carlisle and Esme's love. I'd heard that vampire love was the most incredible, all encompassing feeling. Was that what Edward was longing for?

I didn't bring it up again, but his mood continued to bother me. I wanted Edward to be happy, but I couldn't help if he wouldn't tell me the problem. I decided that if I ever found a young, pretty girl in mortal peril I would bring her home for Edward. He deserved a nice girl who would take care of him.

Esme's easy acceptance of this life encouraged me to think that it would be okay next time, too. I continued to read, planning Edward's future without his permission. I acknowledged that my feelings toward him were somewhat more than typical of siblings. His presence brightened my moods. I often felt anxious being away from him and when we were together I often found myself admiring his features. I could easily spend every moment of every day with him without complaint. He made me feel content and happy. But, just because I felt that way didn't mean he felt the same about me. I never allowed myself to be attracted to anyone because I knew no one would return my affections. Why would Edward be any different?

Why was I even considering it? I couldn't imagine that some deeply buried part of me wanted Edward as a mate. I'd never wanted anyone in such a way, certainly not my brother. I was only thinking about these things for Edward's sake.

I decided that regardless of what I may or may not want, Edward's happiness was most important and it was my job to ensure that happiness. I didn't understand my feelings for him and I wasn't going to try, but I was going to do everything in my power to make him happy.

A suddenly audible, hushed conversation between Esme and Carlisle distracted me from my thoughts.

"I tried to make her see herself differently in hopes she would understand, but she doesn't see. She's oblivious to his torment and the situation at hand." Esme said to Carlisle almost silently. I barely heard it. I didn't understand what she was talking about but Edward cleared his throat loudly and began to play his melody at full volume. This effectively drowned out the rest of the conversation. The only part of the statement that stood out to me was "She is oblivious to his torment and the situation at hand", and considering Edward had not wanted the conversation to continue, they must have been speaking of him. So, Edward was tormented… What this had to do with me seeing myself clearly I wasn't sure, except perhaps they expected me to help him find a mate.

Though I wasn't sure of much, I was certain of one thing: I would find Edward a mate, regardless of my own feelings.

Edward deserved happiness, and I would provide him with it at all costs.