Hereafter

Chapter Eight

Goes without Saying

Dang, Johnny was a good fighter. He could fight better than I could even though I could pretty easily beat him in an arm wrestle. He fought in a way most greasers wouldn't. Most of us fought recklessly but he didn't. He was usually on the defensive, waiting to punish any gaps, openings, and our slip-ups that his opponent does. Granted, this didn't work so well for him all the time, it was best when fighting one person, at least. And that's just not how Socs fight operate.

But since we started sparring some, he's gotten much better. So did I, hopefully good enough to count. I don't want to be so afraid of them the next time we tussled. Next time, if there was one, it'll be different.

Of course through all our fighting, we never badly hit each other, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I did. Johnny doesn't deserve to be hit so much, I bet his parents don't even care that he's gone. That or they don't even know.

I wonder...

"Hey Pony," his voice was soft.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think the gang's doin' right about now?" (Oh dang, why did he have to ask?) I shuddered at the thought. I could only imagined Soda and Two-Bit looking desperately for us. Searching every street and corner on our side of Tulsa. Every hang-out or hot spot that they thought me or Johnny might be at. I know Steve would join in not too long after, if not for Johnny, then for for Soda's sake.

In the end they don't find a single hint or clue as to where we're at. I'm not so sure how Soda'd handle it. I know I wouldn't be able to go long without my big brother around me. I need him, a whole lot. As much as I'd like to let him know or give him just a sign that we're okay, I knew we couldn't. If I could like send a letter or call him, then he'd go around worrying to much as where I'm at, or something. I really need him right now. But does he need me? What about everyone else, how're things? I wish I could know. What about Darry? I bet he's real happy he dun have to worry 'bout me no more.

Do they know? Our disappearances coincide with the death of a Soc. I doubt the Socs would not have blabbed to anyone about the whole thing. Even if they didn't, there was still that.

Lil ol' Johnny, when he said that he'd stab the next Soc who'd get near him or any one of us, I didn't think he'd do it. I can't say I don't blame him though, what gives the Socs the right anway? They've got money, tuff cars, and cool clothes.

I wonder what the Socs would do. They know what Johnny did and would tell everyone about it all. I'll bet their using more blades now and the fights are getting nastier.

But they'll be fine, I know they will. We're greasers and we're tough. It's what we live doing...So maybe things won't be so different after all.

I continued to shudder and Johnny noticed something went off in my head. "Uh sorry, Pony." "It's okay, Johnny," hopefully I'll never find out. And maybe we'll eventually find a place where greasers and Socs don't exist. Place where it didn't matter how much hair oil a boy had, or by how tuff our cars were. Where maybe money didn't matter so much, or where people didn't fight just because they've got nothing better to do.

I'm not even sure if a place like that exists.

...

Dallas came to see us the next day or two...

I never did figure out what went down when we were gone, other than from Soda's letter and the things Dally said. I remember hearing a story about how two bitter rivals became good friends in a fight against each other. I don't remember the details, I'm pretty sure Two-Bit was telling it that time we picked up some of those girls from down-town. They were greasers so they knew the score, I guess they were a little curious if things were different here. But no not really; things were rough all over.

I sighed and silently swore at myself. So here I was, standing here at the same grave as one of my best friends. Thankfully, he was buried no too far off from Mom and Dad so whenever I'd go here, I get to visit both of them. I don't think Soda and Darry know that I go here like once or twice every month now.

I didn't know why, but I always felt better coming here and like talk to them, or something. I knew they wouldn't respond but I could at least pretend to hear their voices, if only for just a moment. That alone gave me consolation.

I picked up a single flower, it was a sunflower. It was as close to gold for a flower as I could find around here. So every once in a while, I'd set one here next to Johnny and some for Mom and Dad. For a while I gave Mom and Dad some red roses but people around here kinda thought badly of them since I heard of that one really sad story.

It was about a girl, a poor one, who really loved a boy. They were both poor and she was about to graduate. She heard rumors that he was like gonna propose to her or something like that, but her parents detested the idea. She went against their wishes and stayed for a while. She used more or less all the money she had for a real special date with him. That day was the day after she graduated and the day she would be able to leave her parents' house soon. She called a lot and reminded him to go to there secret hang out, but he never showed up. She waited whole night for him; when she went home, she found a rose in her front door. She always hated the rose (especially a red one), for some reason. He'd know that for sure, so why would he give it to her and not show up? Did he maybe have better things to do? She really doubted it, he promised he'd be there. And the fact that he wouldn't even go in the house and just left her a flower that she so hated meant that he either didn't care or didn't feel the same way about her after all.

She was crushed. The next day, she went to see him while he was working and she saw a few girls flirting with him. Yeah, she was real steamed. But then she went and did something stupid, in more ways than one. She felt real bad about the it, but she didn't want to see him again. So now the boy and girl avoid the shit out of each other and probably haven't seen each other since then.

I looked behind me startled, (Oh, it's just Lee). I calmed down and he walked closer. He looked at the grave, it said the words 'Johnny Cade' on it and had a confused look to him. (I don't think Lee knows Johnny. Well maybe he does, I mean he knows me from that one article. Johnny and Dally were there too.)

I could tell he didn't like me staying here for so long, he does know about it all. So we both left.

Lee stopped me when we passed by an alley and left a few minutes after seeing it.

(So...The Black Cat, huh? That's the name you went by? Nah, he probably went with what everyone called him by. It certainly fits him, no doubt. But I have to wonder, was it all worth it?) I went on.

*Sigh* (Why did he keep it a secret, even from me? I wonder, if he told everyone about it, would the outcome of it all be any different?) I seriously thought about it for the longest time.

(...No, probably not.) My head was starting to droop down a little.

I know Lee loves his art, everyone seemed to. Socs, greasers, middle-class alike. It's a shame none of the people who followed him were as good as his. Even if they were real good, you easily tell which was his. The Black Cat wasn't like any of us, a true outsider. From his old home, and his new one. The others didn't share the same themes he did, they always supported their side or antagonized the other. His did not, but were highly ill-conceived, sadly enough.

Lee probably sensed me feeling down and said we should go to the Dairy Queen. We went every once and a while but I didn't like it so much simply because of the people there. No real greasers went there, normally I didn't mind so much but I knew somehow that today wasn't such a good today to go in.

We opened the door...(Shit.) Socs, Socs, and Socs! All of them stared me down with undying hatred, and I hated them back. All of them. But both me and Lee kept it all hidden. One Soc in particular I had no intention of seeing. But it was already too late now, it's downright awful to just go in a store just to leave the next second. We were both trapped here, there were only a few honorable ways out: cause a fuss or shot somebody. I didn't want to do either. Knowing that guy, if I had stayed, there will be a fuss, whether or not I like it.

We both found an empty table near the front corner, well away from all them Socs. I looked back at that guy, there was little doubt he was gonna go and make some big deal over something. I didn't want to be apart of it, I looked at Lee. I knew he NO problem with a couple of Socs hating on him. They were kinda afraid of him since he makes a lot money in Social and greasy fight clubs. He's pretty famous that way, it's not to say he's never lost but I know he's pretty damn good.

They were deathly afraid of me too, I am, after all a murderer, right? (Dumb-asses.) But what was different with Lee and Me is simply that I'm a grease and he's a Soc too. Greasers can fight other greasers, no sweat. But Socs just don't fight outside of fight clubs. It's just wrong. I knew it, they knew it, and Lee knew it.

If that guy wants to go and mess with anyone, it will be with Lee. I knew he was more than happy to do so, Lee loved messing with anyone trying to mess with him. He usually does a good job, using the circumstances and his intelligent composure to his advantage. He can't do anything to Lee.

I asked Lee if he had some grease on him and luckily for me, he did. (What's wrong with this Soc?) I dunno why he always had grease on, I always thought of it weird but I'm not gonna argue, especially not now.

I walked from the table and headed off to the bathroom. I saw at the corner of my eyes, him get up and walk towards Lee. (Okay, so he's made his decision. Lee, it's your move now.)

It took a while for me or really any other grease to wash our hair. We had to remove out all the grease and then re-grease it again. I was always picky with the way my hair looked. Thank God I got rid of that bleach. It makes me feel dirty just thinking about it.

Lee was really surprised when I did get rid of it. He, Sarah, and Andrea said they actually liked it. I guess it was okay; it wasn't so much the bleach itself that bothered me so much. Okay, so it was, but the main thing was it took away from me. It wasn't me, it just wasn't. And I hated the thought of changing that part of me most.

When I was finally done, I got dried my hands and in the mirror, I saw someone enter the bathroom. It was a Soc. That same one I met months ago. We both looked at each other and were frozen on the spot.

(Oh shit, what the hell do I say? Sorry I nearly killed you? Yeah, that's gonna go over well.) The poor kid literally backed up to the wall, pale as a ghost. I tried looking sorry and really wanted to apologize, but I knew that wasn't such a great a idea considering where I'm at.

Was he a Soc? I don't know, could he be one of them middle-class people like R'Neil? Perhaps one who was accepted as Socs. He had wide, brown eyes but still had a shifty, slightly threatening feel to him despite his current position. He was real small, and his hair was even longer than when I last saw him. I decided not to say anything and just leave.

By the time I left the bathroom, Lee and Dylan were already exchanging looks of hatred and the guy at the counter said that he wanted them out if they hadn't stop. By then, Lee and Dylan had already grabbed the whole place's attention. Lee saw me and smiled, "That's fine, we were on our way anyway." So we both left. (Thank God.)

"Hey Lee, what was that about?" as if I didn't already know. "It's nothing, Ponyboy. All the crap that usually goes on," well yeah. With Dylan there, what else would've happened, right?

Lee got out a cigarette and I couldn't help but stare at it. I was freezing right now, I know I should've gotten a frickin' jacket or something but I don't really like wearing them so much. But a smoke would make it all better, I knew that much for sure.

"Ya' want one?" (Oh God, yes!) But I've quit and I didn't plan on doing all that hard work for nothing. All I could muster up was, "No..." I don't think Lee knows I used to smoke, I know he can kinda guess since I'm a grease, most of us do or at least have tried it once in our life time. I know there was a time Darry used to smoke, but that was a long time ago.

I looked back at his cigarette and shuddered (I really needed a smoke, right now!)

When we got a little closer, even though it was starting to warm up, I was still freezing over, Lee didn't seem to notice so much. I knew that running would help me cope with it all. So I made a break for it, just because.

I made the stupid mistake of looking back at Lee when I ran into somebody. *Thud* When Lee caught up, he said the words, "Dang, don't you ever use your head." I looked at him real annoyed-like, I hated Darry saying that all the time and I didn't need another person saying it too. I think he said it just to annoy me anyway.

"Get off me, you little-" he stopped and we both figured out just who I just ran into. I wonder what he was going to say if it weren't me, but another grease instead. I doubt his response would be the same. But Randy's my friend, I know he doesn't go drinkin' anymore and never beats on greasers either.

"Sorry, Randy," I seemed real sincere. "Oh, don't sweat it, Grease." I paused just a little by reaction. I was more or less fine with Randy or Lee calling me Grease too, but they're still Socs, and I'll never forget that.

He looked at me with a perplexed gaze, "What were you doing, running around like that?" He thought about it and then his eyes shot up before I could answer. He pushed me slightly behind him and asked, "Is there anyone after you, or something?" He looked at Lee curiously.

"Nah, me and Lee were just racing, I looked back and ran into you." (Damn, that sounded a lot dumber than I thought it would.) I got over it real quick.

"Hey what's up, Lee," he extended out a hand. He winced at first but followed his gesture and shook hands. Though they both seemed a little uncomfortable.

"You two know each other?" I cocked my eyebrows. And Lee did the same, "Of course we do, Pony. After all, he dated a good friend of mine a little while back." Randy's eyes flickered at that, and mine bulged but only for a moment so that Randy wouldn't see. Marcia? my face would ask. His responded, yeah.

They don't dig each other much, Lee and Randy. I'm pretty sure Lee hates Randy simply because he was a Soc who used to go around beating on greasers. I know Randy doesn't like Lee because he basically and publicly antagonizes almost all Socs constantly, which I thought of as a bit excessive if not unnecessary. But they were my friends, the both of them. And I would want them to be friends if possible. Though from the look of things, that wasn't likely.

But at the very least, they could both hide it. And Lee at least knew that Randy's tried to change, which is more than what other Socs have done. Randy admires Lee's courage and knows him from the Social fight clubs before. So yeah, did they like each other? No. But they respected one another.

"So, Randy, what're doin' out here?" his eyes sparked a little. "I actually went over here to see a friend." (That's odd, does Randy know anyone around here?) "I was actually one my way to hang with a couple of my friends. Y'all wanna come?" He looked away soon after knowing that wasn't such a smart thing to say.

"You headed home, Pony?" Randy asked.

"No, actually I'm headed to DX to see Sodapop. He said he's trying to teach me to drive." "Oh really? I'll wish you luck then." Lee grinned at me knowing full well of my auto-mechanics grade.

"Hey, I gotta split soon, Pony." "Where ya' headed?" he grinned inwardly. "I'm going over to see Andrea and we'll the movies later tonight."

Now I smiled a little, "You going to the Nightly Double?" "Yeah." I was a little disappointed, I really wanted him to meet my brothers. I really doubt he's even met anyone of them. He said he'd stop by around like 6 : 30 after my driving lesson would be done. "You should stop by sometime, y'know."

"Yeah, maybe I will someday." He turned over to the other neighborhood and started walk in its direction, "Later man." "See ya, Randy."

Randy looked at his watch, "I gotta go too, good luck Pony and say hi to Sodapop for me."I nodded and grinned, "Sure thing, bye guys."

And all three of us left in separate ways.

She didn't have to say it, she just didn't. That kind of thing goes without saying. I remember what she said, her words forever embedded in the back of my mind. 'Oh, Ponyboy, please don't leave me...You're my friend, I'm not gonna give up on you...I can't believe you! I don't ever want to see you again!'

The moment we both saw each other, time almost froze up on us. Even though we only stopped to look at each other for like a few seconds, I think, it felt like it lasted forever.

Ever since the last time we met, we both avoided the hell outta each other. I hoped we'd never see each other again, we both did. It's been what? 8 months? I don't even know, but I would hope that maybe things would be a little better between us.

But I guess not.

Back then, she looked like she was ready to explode on me, but all she did was speak in a voice so soft I don't even know what she was saying, whatever it was, it couldn't be good. I'd rather take anyone's hate than pity but this was pretty bad. I could feel the blood rushing to my head and if I didn't leave then, I'd holler back at her, only making things worse for everybody.

But why should I even feel bad? She didn't exactly make it obvious to me, she avoided me even when we were friends. She had no right to get all mad, if she truly felt that way then she should've said something, but she didn't. If she wasn't gonna make a move then someone else would.

And it'd be too late, then.

She was motionless as I spent a good amount of time glaring at her. Not as angry as I though I ought to be, but more disappointed, actually.

I have nothing to say to you. It's because of you that I lost some great friends. They were so quick to dismiss me for Jamie then I suppose they never really were my friends. They didn't give me a chance, nor did Jamie. None of them, except R'Neil.

I don't know what she was feeling, though I honestly didn't care. Why should I? She hasn't given me a good enough reason to care. She was in one of my classes last year, but I remember the first time we actually met and talked was in Biology class where we had to dissect the frog. It was probably a dumb move, but I couldn't cut it open so I got out my switchblade and at that moment she screamed out the words, "Oh my gosh! They're right, you are a hood!"

She looked real good in yellow...

It was safe to say she was deathly afraid of me after then. Jamie isn't a Soc, but a lot of her friends were. She's a middle-class like R'Neil, and if it weren't for him and that paper about me and Johnny saving all those kids from that fire, she wouldn't take a second look at me. She wouldn't give me a chance if I tried to, not that I would've anyway.

...Those beautiful blue eyes don't mean a damn thing to me.

And just like that I left the scene with both me and Jamie speechless.

I don't care about her, right? Then why can't I shake her off my head? She's always there. I remember the last time I saw her, it didn't end pretty and I had the same problem I do now only it was even worse then.

I began to burn up and it was just a little harder for me to breath.

I finally got to the DX, thank God. I looked for Soda, but couldn't find him so well. So while I waited, I spent some time talking to Rose, one of my classmates. She was real nice to me, she's a grease too. She was so quiet last year, but she seems a lot happier now. I think it's because her big sister moved away, Rose always said that her sister just hated her and she could never find out why. They say her sister got married and lives far, far away from here.

I'm pretty sure she has another sister too.

Rose was a good friend of Andrea and knew Cherry pretty well. But she always seemed had this shifty feeling around her. But it was real hard to look at her in the eyes. They looked almost exactly like Jamie's - big, bright, and blue. It was hard enough for me to approach her without the gut feeling it's just Jamie; though not because their faces looked alike or anything. The eyes. Just the eyes. Who knows, it could easily be her in like a really good costume or something.

She didn't like her name, she loved just about every flower but roses. So most people I knew called her Anne from the name Roseanne. But I liked her a lot, actually. She was nice greasy girl and didn't really bother anyone. Kinda odd since I think her mom like works in a flower shop, or something.

I never really did talk to her until that one day in the park. But I swear she seems and looks so familiar, not like Jamie, but someone else.

I think she noticed I felt sick before she left. I could bluff and hide it. I'm glad Steve and Two-Bit weren't around when we were talking. They would've made a big deal out of it, instead it was just Soda with a wide grin, finally happy to see me around girls more often. But I knew he wasn't gonna bring it up. Maybe I was worse off than I thought.

Yep, I suck at driving. Maybe it was my big headache, or that thing in my head, but either way I just suck. Soda's just lying to me, I'd bet when he was 15 and first started to drive, he'd do it perfectly, that's what I remember. He took the driving test as soon as he possibly could and passed it without breaking a sweat.

But me? I almost got us into an accident! Golly if Darry or Steve were here, I'd never here the end of it. I'm glad I have Soda to teach me to drive, I don't think I can take lessons from them two. And Two-Bit was out of the question, sure he could drive, but I don't think either one of us could ever focus if we tried. I think Dad taught both Soda and Darry.

I didn't like driving around other people, I especially didn't like the whole right of way concept. I can't remember it so well, I see people cut pedestrians all the time so that's what I though we could do - apparently not.

We eventually got closer to the middle of town, there was a car accident so I let Soda take the wheel and drive us both home.

...

"Soda! Why the hell were you driving so fast?" I wasn't mad, just worried. He looked awful red and grinned, "Sorry, Pony. I guess I just got carried away." I don't know what came over me, it was just get a little harder for me to breath, like the air around me just got colder or something. "Pony? You okay?" I don't want Soda worry to much, "Yeah Soda, I'm fine." (I think.)

"Oh cheer up, Ponyboy. Ya' know, when you start driving, work on some cars some more and get real good, I could maybe get you a job at DX."(Say what?) All pain escaped me for only just moment, "You can? Really?"

He went back to that cheesy grin again, "Yeah, sure. Why not? I mean, the boss man still owes me an' Steve an awful lot for everything we've done for him. I reckon I can convince him a thing or two."

(Awesome!) I wonder what it's like working at DX. I'm pretty sure Steve's not gonna be to happy about it, oh well. Tough enough, Steve. "Thanks."

"Ah hell, Pony. I love you man, don't sweat it too much, m'kay?"

Soon after I left the car, I went back to feeling sick to my stomach. I'd really want a smoke but since I quit that wasn't an option. When Two-Bit opened the door, I went to the kitchen and ran for the asprin. God, my head hurts.

I hated how Steve and Two-Bit were teasing me for my grade in auto-mechanics, well it wasn't like I didn't see it coming a mile away. But with this headache, I seriously wasn't in the mood for it.

Darry was home then, and he seemed to pop outta no where when my grades were mentioned. I snatched my report card from Steve and showed it Darry before he asked me to give it to him. I was glad Darry didn't make a big deal about it, I don't think we ever really fight over that kind of stuff anymore. Which is good, especially for Soda. He was right, it wasn't fair to him then, and I think Darry's taken that to heart.

I kept getting worse and worse, my head was hurting so much that I really didn't want to hear anything right now. Soda asked me something, I wasn't too sure what it was he asked but I did know he said to get to sleep if I really felt that bad. Or at least I hope he did, 'cause I did just that.

It was good to finally relax a bit. Maybe I should've worn a jacket to school today. But for some reason, I seriously doubted that was the reason why I felt so cold right now...

I don't even understand why we were like this. Was I scared? Scared of losing just another good friend. First Johnny and Dally, then Trae, and now maybe Jamie. Maybe that's why we never gave each other a chance, in the end.

...

Maybe we were great friends, before. But that was then, and this is now. If she doesn't want it, then so be it.

Author's Note:

So I hope that clears up a few questions of yours. But with every question answered, comes even more questions. I told you it was the same as chapter 7, but this was all in Pony's POV instead and there were quite a few differences in the experience. I had to cut the end a little short, didn't want it getting too long.

The next few chapters will probably be much more flashback oriented.

Reviews are always welcome, the more reviews, the sooner I'll update this piece of crap.