The War Against the Thing
Rachel woke up, early in the morning to find the two spaces to her left empty. She rose and rubbed her eyes, her vision still a bit hazy. She left her room to find Santana sitting on the kitchen counter with a brown paper bag in hand. Kurt was beside her, busily smoothing his hair with a comb and pocket mirror in hand. Rachel made a noise to get their attention and Kurt just raised a brow up while Santana shoved the paper bag into her hands.
"Oh, I see that you're awake. How was your sleep? Me? I slept like a log," Kurt said answering his own question before giving Rachel a chance to speak.
"Not very dreamlike. You kept on kicking me in your sleep and Santana kept on snoring," Rachel huffed opening the brown paper bag.
It was a very greasy looking taco wrapped in plastic with oil nearly dripping down from its mouth. Rachel grimaced as she saw it and made a mental to go buy a sandwich in a nearby deli later.
"Breakfast? You like? It's from Papito's Taco Place. Now I know you don't usually do fast food but it's the most edible we could find in these….parts," Kurt said sneering a little bit at the mention of their neighborhood.
"It's very…..good," Rachel said thanking them for friendship's sake.
"Great. So we'll be going to the movie theater this evening," Santana said tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
"And then you two can wrap this silly little argument up," Kurt said smoothing his jacket.
It was then and there that Rachel noticed that both Kurt and Santana were dressed smartly, fresh out of their sleeping clothes, with clothes fit for the high fashion demands of New York. Santana was wearing a loose black dress under a tight fitting grey coat, black stockings and a pair of ankle boots while Kurt decked himself with an Alexander McQueen white jacket with a Hermes scarf wrapped around his neck. Rachel raised a brow.
"I am quite curious to know what this get-up is all about," Rachel said eyeing their clothes.
"Oh this? Fabulous isn't it? I got this from a little shop tucked away in Lima. Anyway I and San darling are planning a little sightseeing in New York. We're just waiting for you," Kurt said as he put the mirror away.
"Sightseeing?" Rachel said raising a brow.
"You know watching famous monuments, hope to meet a weirdo and be able to get a picture and all that shit. I've never really been hear you know," Santana said sounding excited—it was fresh take from her usually snarky tone.
"Then I suggest you replace those heels with something less killer. If the suffocation of wall to wall people and the bumper to bumper traffic won't kill you then the hours of walking in those will," Rachel said eyeing Santana's ankle boots.
"These? Pffft. These are nothing. I've danced in heels three times longer for three straight hours," Santana sniffed.
"What were you dancing? The sidestep?' Kurt snickered.
"Watch it Queen!" Santana glared.
"Well I hope you two enjoy yourself and actually do real sightseeing. I'm implying that you shouldn't just tour fashion shops but actually go in places with real historical value," Rachel said matter-of-factly.
"What's the point of New York if you won't visit—wait. Are you insinuating that you refuse to come? Is this about the argument? Because honestly not only is it weird and mildly childish but—''
"No, it's not about the argument. It's just that I have seen quite a broad specter of New York already from the numerous birthdays I have had here. I'll be fine. I would like to spend the day, perhaps encapsulating the unknown Thing and maybe if Lady Luck smiles upon me….I'd be able to successfully do away with it," Rachel said quickly.
Santana looked bored, as she always does when Rachel launches into a long speech while Kurt looked as if he was still processing everything she had said.
"Hmm…if that's all you've got to say then me and Queen will get going," Santana said hopping off the counter.
"We'll try to visit a museum or a haunted hospital for you Divalicious," Kurt said pulling his sunglasses up.
They both filed out of the door. Before Kurt closed it he said, "A word to the wise. Make sure to always keep this in hand in case some asshole tries to get in."
"Or if that crappy excuse for human Puck comes even within our doorstep," Santana added.
He tossed a pepper spray at Rachel and rolled his eyes at Santana. Rachel nodded, "Well noted."
Then Kurt gave a final salute before closing the door.
…
"Boob! Boob! COO-kie!" roared Mr. Scherbatsky.
Puck had seriously no idea what on earth the dude was talking about. Mr. Scherbatsky had knocked on his door early in the morning and then he began to ramble endlessly in Russian before switching to the two English words he knew which were boob and cookie.
Mr. Scherbatsky was a tall man nearly standing up to seven feet tall. He was wiry save for his belly which was round and always protruding. He had a long, oddly shaped head with a jutting chin that had only three hairs on it.
"COOKIE! COOKIE! COOKIE!" he yelled on and on and Puck was getting nowhere as to what he might be saying.
"Dude! I don't speak Russian!" he said over the din of Mr. Scherbatsky's voice. The man huffed before shoving a piece of paper into Puck's face. The man gestured to his apartment door then pointed at Puck then the paper.
"Oh. This paper's mine but it was placed on your door front?" Puck questioned.
Mr. Scherbatsky looked at Puck questioningly. Puck sighed.
"Boob boob boob boob BOOB…cookie…boob….cookie, cookie, cookie and Boob," Puck said trying to stifle his laughter as he pretended to speak conversationally with the man with the two words he only knew.
Then to his shock the dude gave an "Ahh…." then he nodded before scrambling off. Seriously Puck thinks that the man was playing everybody. Honestly, he was making a sentence out of two words that don't even go together and the man acted as if he understood everything.
Puck unfolded the paper and in it was neatly typed:
To Mr. Noah Puckerman:
I would like to inform you that you are long overdue in your monthly payments and you have not yet fully completed your reservation payment. Unless you have paid all these then expect to be evicted any day soon or at least until I come back from my lovely vacation from the Bahamas.
Pleasure doing business with you and I hope you don't get kicked out.
Mr. Coolley
Landowner
P.S.: Stop hitting on my wife.
Puck scowled in annoyance but at the same time he felt dread creeping up on him. Usually he was able to get what he wants either buy flexing his awesome guns or by using his famous 'I'll kill you eyes'. Now that he was in the real world the people who had real power were people with money. Puck thought hard at the smelly pizza box at the back of his closet where he stuffed some cash a few weeks back. Maybe he still had enough to scrape through the rent for one month or if it wasn't there anymore (he was pretty sure there weren't any considering he had spent it all on beer) then he would have to sleep with Mr. Coolley's wife. And if that doesn't work he could always con one of his neighbors on the account that they're either senile or recovering from drugs.
Puck thought this through deciding thoughtfully which part of his plans would push through much better. The money in the pizza box was a definite no-go since he was so sure he spent it on beer. Sleeping with Mr. Coolley was something still pending. While he normally wouldn't be opposed to cougars he is opposed to fat, ugly cougars and Mrs. Coolley, aside from being a shameless flirt (Puck swears he never flirted with her) was the very definition of those two words. Which leaves the option of conning his neighbors into giving him some cash and expecting him to not pay back.
The elderly couple would probably be kind enough to give him some cash but Puck had a soft spot for old people. Mrs. Thimble was old but she was also crazy so Puck was afraid that if he asked her she would start yelling and banging her head against the wall. Coco was never an option since he was always obsessing over moldy cheese since he had never quite recovered from his cocaine days. And Mr. Scherbatsky was not even in the list. He was smarter than what he let other people think. That left Rachel and her…friends. But he was pretty sure Rachel would see right through his con.
Puck continued to re-examine his options when he heard loud clanging and bangings coming from next door Puck. Puck rolled his eyes. Rachel and her…friends (he still doesn't believe it) seem to have a penchant for making loud noises.
Puck knocked on the door and when no one answered he opened the door directly on impulse. It was a habit of his that got him into trouble once or twice but most of the time when he opened the door without knocking to a naked woman….well that pretty much makes it a good habit. But there was one time Puck opened it to a naked man. He would rather not dwell on that topic.
He realized that the locks weren't so good. He made it a mental note to buy Rachel a padlock because somehow he found it disturbing that an intruder could easily get in without much effort. Puck opened the door to find some sort of complicated contraption with Rachel's ass sticking out again. She was crouched on her knees assembling something with a fold of tissue papers. The contraption was made with pots and pans. He saw a wooden pole sticking out from the mass of metal with a piece of moldy cheese that would have drove Coco mad, tied on a string. Rachel was muttering something as she folded then unfolded the tissue again before cursing out loud to fold it in another shape.
Puck tried to comprehend her purpose in this when suddenly found himself being sprayed by something. Again. This time it really stung his eyes to the point that it made him cry. Puck tried to force the tears back but the pain was so startling that it blinded him and any effort to open his eyes would only cause tears to block his vision. He yelped in agony and tried to keep himself from looking like a total pussy.
"Noah! Oh my—Oh heavens! I'm so sorry! I didn't realize it was you. I thought that you were some sort of disgusting and vile person who has come to do some sort of disgusting and horrible thing to me! I am so ashamed—''
"It HURTS!" Puck bellowed and he suddenly felt a pair of tiny hands grab his arms trying to drag him.
"What the hell?" he yelled.
"I'm trying to help you!" Rachel snapped.
Puck felt himself being dragged to some corner. He heard the scraping sound of a chair, the noise of Rachel's tiny feet shuffling about and finally felt her hands push him. He felt his ass land on the chair and the next thing he knew water was being heaped unto his face. Rachel continued to apologize and Puck continued to yell.
Finally after what seemed like hours Puck could see a blurry outline of things. He was in a small, cramped bathroom with dingy looking walls and Rachel stood before him looking shocked and worried. She was wearing a short-sleeved pink blouse with a dreamy, pink skirt.
"Can you see?" she squeaked.
"Yeah," Puck muttered.
Then suddenly he felt a whack on his head.
"What?"
"You inconsiderate boor! How dare you enter my premises without my permission! For all I know, you could have been a serial rapist!" she shrieked beating him with her little fists.
"Hey, I'm not the one who almost blinded someone else!" he yelled rubbing his eyes.
"Well, none of this would have happened if you just had the decency to knock," Rachel sniffed primly.
Suddenly they heard the sound of firecrackers and a startled yell coming from the living room. Rachel yelped and prepared to go outside when Noah took her hand and said urgently, "I go first…."
Slowly, the two of them tiptoed to the living room, Rachel behind Puck. The yells dissolved into anguished screams and cries. She knew that the trap she assembled was meant for the Thing but she knew that even the Thing would be incapable of making sounds such as this. It turned into racked sobs and Rachel unintentionally grabbed Puck's hand. What if some crazy person entered their apartment? She felt very lucky that Noah and his impressive guns were here to possibly protect her from anything bad.
"Oh for fuck's sake…" Puck groaned.
Rachel's eyes widened and she snapped, "What?"
In the living room was a sallow man who had the skin of sour milk. His features were gaunt and his eyes were sallow and sunken and what Rachel noticed about him was that he smelled so rotten. Like moldy cheese.
"Coco," Puck sighed.
…
Least to say, Rachel was very ashamed. It turns out that Puck had a neighbor who was once a drug addict and is recovering his need for cocaine through moldy cheese. Apparently, he had smelled the moldy cheese she had set as a trap for the Thing and having a very acute sense of smell (when it comes to moldy chesses) he tracked it down. Seeing the door ajar and thinking that the elaborately set trap was simply an invitation instead of a ruse to capture some sort of tiny animal (Rachel concluded that his mind was not quite in the right place) he took the cheese and Rachel's brilliantly set trap immediately fell into place.
Coco had received a total of five bruises, two lumps in his head and like Puck, he was sprayed with pepper spray only twice the amount and it took thirty minutes of washing for him to stop bawling. And it was an even worse experience than when she and Kurt washed the bathroom. His smell of moldy cheese stung her eyes and nose and Puck refused to be of any assistance.
After all was well and the man had stopped crying Rachel sighed and shook his hand saying, "I am terribly sorry…."
"Ah no! Darlin' I've never seen a gurl as pretty as dis one. You from Lima?" he said in slurred voice.
"Oh yes!" Rachel said.
"Girls from Lima. Always told me pa that I'd like one of 'em! My friends were always sayin' that they come on pretty tight!" he said.
"Ah…of course," Rachel said just wishing for the conversation to end.
"Um…one more thing. Can I have duh cheese?" Coco asked smiling crookedly.
"Oh! Of course!" Rachel said shoving the cheese into the man's hand. The man took it greedily, as a child might of candy, before scurrying away muttering words of glee.
"Well I suppose now would be safe to assume that all this is your fault!" Rachel accused.
"Me?" Puck cried back incredulously.
"If it hadn't been for you I would have caught the Thing and would have thoroughly decapitated it if it weren't for you!" she snapped.
"Oh so now it's my fault that I was almost blind!" Puck said.
"I'm just saying that you must have proper manners," Rachel said.
"What the fuck is the Thing anyway? I mean gay-shionista is even gayer than usual and the evil bitch is screaming as if it was Osama Bin Ladin!" Puck asked incredulously as Rachel stooped over, trying to fix her trap.
"I do not appreciate you slandering the good names of my friends and using such an assortment of crude words. And for your information, the Thing is actually a thing of horrifying monstrosity and I will not rest until it is either severely injure or dead," Rachel muttered as began to reload her pepper spray gun.
"Yeah," Puck said skeptically.
Rachel caught the note of skepticism in his voice and glared at him, "You don't believe me?"
"Well, girls tend to overreact," Puck shrugged carelessly.
"Kurt is technically speaking, not a girl," Rachel shot back.
"He's gay. That counts," Puck said.
"Oooh. You are insufferable. And just so you know that was a very sexist remark," Rachel snapped.
Puck wasn't about to tell her but when he heard her say the word sexist he was a bit turned on.
She stood up and placed her hands hon her hips. "Anyway if you have nothing better to do than to mock me then I suggest you leave and—''
"Berry!" Puck said urgently. Creeping up her leg was the biggest bug he ever saw. It had on armored coating of some sort, it was an ugly mixture of brown and black and it eyes were the size of saucers.
"And I feel things would go on much faster—''
"Berry!"
"And you are being quite no use if I might add—''
"Rachel!"
And by then the Thing was on her shoulder. Rachel started to scream and yell and jump up and down trying to get rid of the bug. Puck would have found it funny except now its flying. Towards him!
"It flies?" Rachel said in a mixture of awe and horror.
Puck didn't have time to answer her. The Thing flew over him and it secreted something out—it some sort of brown gooey stuff that was in tiny little balls. It looked like melting, Cadbury chocolate balls.
"It defecated!" Rachel yelled.
"It pooped on my head!" Puck roared.
The Thing began to flit all over the room and seeing that Puck was still stunned at the transpired events to do anything she took her trusty cologne (which had an odor that surprisingly kills bugs) and the pepper spray and she began to spray all over the room in a frenzy hitting Puck in the process and the only thing Rachel managed to achieve is that she made Puck smell like a pungent version of a Victoria Secret's cologne.
Suddenly it flew over Puck and pooped on him one last time with a flourish. Rachel tried to stifle a giggle and Puck gritted his teeth.
"This means war."
…
"I absolutely abhor this idea! I refuse! I refute! I completely disagree!" Rachel screeched as Puck geared himself up for battle. Rachel had been nagging and snapping at him as she watched him set up an even more ridiculously complicated contraption to catch the Thing than before—and it had more brutal ways of killing it. Puck had enlisted himself in her little quest to catch and destroy the bug much to Rachel's dismay. He had cleaned off the poop from his head and was now rampaging around her apartment with fire in his eyes.
It wasn't as if Rachel had any misgiving with working with Puck but she knew that Santana would be mightily offended if her advice hadn't been taken and her concern treated with apathy. And Santana had a touchy temper.
"Quiet! Look, I don't get what the big yahoo is. I mean, I'm helping you. Do you want to get pooped on?" Puck said as he did the finishing touches of his trap.
Rachel looked around and touched her head expecting the Thing to come flying in and to excrete disgusting poop on her head.
"Exactly," Puck nodded seeing her expression. Then he scrunched up his nose and said, "What is the fuck is the perfume you sprayed on the bug? It reeks with the pepper spray."
"That happens to be "Forever Yours" by a very well respected perfume company," Rachel sniffed.
"Now I know why it's called "Forever Yours". The smell never leaves you!" Puck grumbled. He had washed himself with a wet cloth in Rachel's bathroom (much to her protests) for the half past hour but to no avail.
"It is a perfectly good smell! It celebrates the vibrant and luminous smell of red tea and features notes of bergamot, spicy oranges, pink pepper, fig pulp, rosewater, freesia, patchouli, suede and amber!" Rachel huffed as she followed him around the room
"Whatever. Anyway, hand me the pepper spray and perfume so I can load my better and more improved pepper spray gun," Puck said glowing with pride at the contrivance he thought he would never have possessed the ingeniousity to create.
"My pepper spray gun is completely well-designed and as enhanced as any pepper spray gun could be!" Rachel snapped peevishly annoyed to know that she had been bested at something she considered herself more superior to.
"Just give me the pepper spray!"
"For your information you and your peculiarly disquieting friend and the little fiasco with pooing Thing have emptied my resources of pepper spray so you have only you yourself to blame," Rachel said
"And since I have vowed to my friends that I would apprehend the Thing and dispose of it, I must now go to this horrid neighborhood or at least walk for miles to the city lest I am to be forcefully apprehended by some vile being, looking for some pepper spray," she said as she grabbed a tote bag and began to fill it up with her wallet and other important contents.
"Wait—what?" Puck said still reeling from Rachel's long colloquy. Rachel didn't answer him but instead she scrunched her nose and looked up.
"So you're leaving?"
"Of course."
"Outside? On your own?" Puck said his jaw dropping.
"What else!" Rachel said as grabbed a coat.
"Fuck, Berry! You can't just go prance around here with a skirt like that," Puck said eyeing her billowing, pink skirt.
"I am perfectly capable of handling myself in any given situation! I was once an Ohio Girl Scouts and aside from becoming the troop leader I also became a den mother in my later years when I was in high school. I've learned quite a bit," Rachel said smoothing down her skirt. She checked the clock and saw that it was already past one o'clock and she suddenly felt herself being overcome with hunger.
"Oh yeah? What happens if some douche tries to frisk you? What do you plan to do? Sing him a song until he dies?" Puck sneered.
"Well if the situation arises and anyways I refuse to be seen with a person who smells like he just took a bath in a vat of cologne….," Rachel said placing a palm over her growling stomach.
"Hey, you're the one who said that the cologne smelled nice. Don't be dumb. At least let me come with you," Puck said flexing his muscles.
"No thank you Noah but I do appreciate your concern," Rachel said primly as she opened the door.
"Hey, I'm trying to be a good neighbor. Isn't that what the rabbis tell us or something?" Puck said.
"Actually that statement is more Catholic really," Rachel smiled.
"Yeah, well I'm going and I'd just like to see your tiny fists try and stop me," Puck said smugly trailing her from behind.
"Noah….this is absolutely unnecessary," Rachel frowned. Suddenly she yelped and jumped back. In front of her was a very tall and wiry man who was nothing more than skin pasted on some bones. Strangely he had a large belly and he had an oddly shaped head, jutting chin with only a few hairs on it.
"Boob! Boob! Cookie!" he said, his eyes lighting up with some newfound fire.
Rachel pressed against Puck completely confused and at the same time she was absolutely afraid. What on earth was this man implying? She sincerely hoped that he wasn't talking about her breasts. She could detect a foreign accent in his speech.
"Rachel, meet Mr. Scherbatsky! He's Russian and those were the only English words he knew," Puck said smirking a bit.
"How interesting…nice to be acquainted," Rachel said, unwilling to hold her hand out for a handshake.
The man took it eagerly with his both hands and Rachel cringed.
"Ray-chel!" he said through his thick Russian Accent.
Puck frowned a little. He had been living in the same building with the man for months and he couldn't even pronounce his one syllable name and yet he could say Rachel's after just minutes.
"Красивый! Красивый!" he said reverting to Russian.
"Um….how quaint," Rachel said in a flustered tone. She tried to take her hand back but the man was hell bent on holding unto it.
"Um…well I best be going now….thanks," she said pulling her hand after the word 'thanks'.
Mr. Scherbatsky looked sad and like a child who is about to cry, his eyes watered and he made a strange whimper.
"See Rach! You made him cry," Puck accused.
"Oh…..well…I will see you again of course," Rachel said hurriedly.
The man looked at her questioningly.
"Make a sentence out of boob and cookie," Puck whispered.
"How ridiculous!" Rachel snapped at him.
"Try it," Puck urged.
Rachel looked uncomfortable and said, "Boob…cookie…cookie boob cookie boob…" as if she spoke a sentence. To her surprise the man nodded understandably and ambled out of her way.
"Quite an interesting bunch of neighbors you have," Rachel said faintly.
"So about me going…."
"Of course—of course…."
…
They had walked a great deal from her strange neighborhood to the heart of New York City. Rachel was hungry and demanded that she must eat otherwise she would faint. Puck rolled his eyes at her overdramatic actions and he took her to a nearby deli. Rachel had taken about thirty minutes just to order.
"Will it be rye bread with spinach or perhaps wheat with tofu?" Rachel mused.
"Just give your fucking order!" Puck snapped.
"Don't swear so publicly!" Rachel spat.
And after holding up the line for so long she finally decided on yogurt and buttered bread. The cashier rolled her eyes and nodded. Rachel poked puck.
"What?"
"Your order," Rachel said.
Puck mumbled some excuse and his eyes dropped. He didn't have a single penny in his pocket and for some reason he felt ashamed that Rachel would know that. A look of realization dawned on Rachel's face.
"Oh, well…no worries. I'm sure there's a perfectly good excuse as to why you aren't armed with cash," Rachel said opening her purse.
"Wait what?" Puck said whipping his head to her.
"I'll pay for you. Now order," Rachel said in a commanding tone.
The cashier snickered.
"Look, Berry I'm not letting you pay for me!" Puck said in consternation.
"Oh stop being so chauvinistic! We happen to be in the twenty first century!" Rachel said taking out some cash.
"I'm not letting a girl pay for me!"
"Stop causing a scene!" Rachel piped back.
"You did that when it took you thirty minutes just to order food!" Puck roared.
Behind them the line grew longer and everyone let out an annoyed sigh.
"This is absolutely nonsensical!" she said aloud and then turning to the cashier she said, "He would like to order the meat sandwich."
"What the fuck?" Puck said.
"Well I assumed that since you are a man—and men tend to eat plenty—that you would be more inclined towards a meaty platter," Rachel said matter-of-factly.
"I'm not letting you—''
The cashier shoved the sandwich, buttered bread and yogurt at them and that was the end of the discussion.
Puck muttered endlessly as he ate his sandwich.
"Oh don't be such a baby," Rachel scoffed.
"Next time Rach…." Puck said as he took a bite off his sandwich.
"Slip the cash in my hand when no one is looking."
…
Rachel actually found herself having a great time against all expectations. After lunch Puck was still moody but that went away quickly enough since Rachel allowed him to choose the brand of pepper spray and to her annoyance he chose one that had a rather lewd picture of a woman in the shopping for some bug spray they discussed ways to terminate the bug. Puck made Rachel buy a tennis racket that actually electrocutes bugs.
"One way or the other I will win this war against the Thing," Rachel said determinedly.
"And one way or the other I'll get back at the little shit for pooping on me," Puck added.
After that they both went around New York and Rachel gave him a little impromptu tour with knowledge she gained from the many birthdays she had there. After a lot of different sites Rachel showed him Broadway and her eyes became dreamy.
"I swear Noah, you'll see me there someday," Rachel said distantly.
"That might not be too long from now," Puck smiled and he pointed at a giant poster.
"Auditions for….La Cage?" Rachel said scanning the poster. Her dreamy eyes changed to a look of ferocity and Puck saw that she looked resolved on the idea of getting the part. Suddenly her eyes melted into fear. Across them, from the wave of people passing through, Rachel spotted the flutter of a grey dress and the quiver of a Hermes scarf.
"La Cage? Seems kinda dirty," Puck said wiggling his eyebrows. He expected Rachel to slap him playfully. He did not expect however for her to grab him and pull him to a dark nook.
The two of them were wedged together so tightly that their mouths were only an inch apart. Rachel's heart beat nervously. For some reason she did not wish for Santana and Kurt to find out that she has been gallivanting across New York with Puck.
"Why, Berry if you wanted me to do you all you had to do was ask," Puck smirked.
"Don't be ludicrous! I simply want that Santana and Kurt not see us. I don't know if you've realized but you and Santana aren't exactly in the best of terms," Rachel said trying to hide the fact that she was growing with heat at the closeness of their bodies.
Somehow Puck found that disturbing to know that Rachel didn't want to her friends to know that they were friends.
…
Santana's eyes narrowed. She and Kurt had decided to visit Broadway to see any auditions that Rachel might try out for when she recognized the tall, muscular physique of someone very familiar with a small petite frame at his side.
She was already in a bad mood from walking all those distances in heels and she did not wan to add that womanizing man whore into her list.
"Is that Rachel?" Santana asked standing on her tippy toes.
Kurt had already recognized and seen them from a distance and he saw Rachel pull Puck into a dark corner. Kurt knew that Santana would be a bit angry at Rachel for not following her advice.
Kurt pulled his shades on and lied faintly, "Nope. Not at all."
…
Sorry for taking forever to update but anyway….ta-dah! Thanks for the reviews! Keep reviewing!
P.S.: Guess what Mr. Scherbatsky was telling Rachel? xD