Disclaimer:
I do not own Hetalia.
Note: I would be using their character
names, mostly. This is an AU fic—a very AU one. Also, I would like
to apologize early for any out of character behaviour and/or poor
plotting.
..
Ah, it's the same person he framed— "Antonio, I do bid the best of British to you behind bars."
The door suddenly opens to reveal that Feliciano has barged into the room whilst the Englishman was still changing. "Ve, ve~ Are you done yet?"
--
After a few more things to wear and an amusing, but rather chaotic, farewell later, William is now walking alongside Kiku while carrying a few bags in one hand.
The Englishman recalls that the reason of the excitable Italian's behaviour, as finally explained by Ludwig, is only because he likes to see what "people with different body types" (as exactly said from the tallest man) look on his clothes—how very, for the sake of not finding a better word to use, academic that sounds of the situation.
Or as questioned from the nearly forgotten Lovino, "What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"
In the end of it all, the Englishman was given the clothes… it would have been something to be grateful about, yes. That is, if not for the fact that he actually had to pay for it. William nearly spent all of his money in hand for that blasted pile of clothes—what's worse is that they only accept cash.
Those cheap bastards—everything summed up to be worth a small fortune!
No one, William distastefully concludes, is thoroughly safe in the hands of a money-making designer and a tight-assed man that actually bothers to make the income (it's easy to imagine what would happen if he weren't around); they might as well be legal thieves— like every other businessman or woman.
Back
to the current scene in play, William is now wearing a coat decent
enough for the coming winter (as should be pointed out once more, to
which it's not for free). The sun has already set, and the cool,
early breeze of the next season's evenings could already be felt by
everyone around. "I must admit, your friend, Feliciano, is a good
bloke…rather daft, though."
"…Yes."
"That
man—Ludwig, was it?—seems to have this po-faced look plastered on
his face."
"…Yes."
"It makes you wonder if he ever
had a bang… let alone, a good snogging."
"…Yes"
In
the next instant, the Englishman suddenly stops in his tracks in
front of a building; Kiku stops a few seconds later and looks at the
taller man then the pub's sign with a blank look on his face.
Grinning at the Japanese man, it was clear on what William wanted to
do—"Do you want to go for a bevvy?"
"…No."
"Afraid
that you'll get completely arseholed, are you?"
"…No."
"Then,
let's go inside."
As William enters the pub with a smile across his face, the Japanese man soon thinks of leaving the other and head back home (and lock the door); Kiku might as well do so, but that means that he'll be rude to the other man—though, didn't he decline whatever the Englishman's offer was?
Was he being challenged when the other asked about being afraid of… what was that… getting arseholed? Kiku concludes that he must have unknowingly accepted this dare since the other is still insisting that the two of them should get inside.
In all honesty, the Japanese man has a bit of a rough time understanding what the other was saying.
Kiku looks up at the sign of the building again, quietly sighs, and then follows the Englishman into the pub. Hopefully, what the other meant by what he said is something related to just drinking a glass of beer and going home with no trouble.
--
What time is it, now?
Kiku could only guess it to be reasonably late since he and William stayed in the pub for quite a while. It must have been around a time when the place was about to close down; the barman was already telling people to go home, already.
Most of the things that he and William talked about back there (rather, listening to what the taller man blurted out as more pints of beer come flowing in) was of how much of a bitch life could be and complaining about his job and a number of people that the Japanese man obviously doesn't know of.
"Alfred is a bloody idiot, Matthew hardly shows up for work, and that damn Frenchman is… well, a damn Frenchman," the Englishman would say—every five minutes or so.
Apparently, Kiku found out, the Englishman works as an officer of some sort—"I'm really a secret agent, but I'm in-hiding, right now." he whispered; he even showed a very convincing badge to Kiku as proof. Still not sure whether he was being played with or not (the Englishman was somewhat tipsy at the time), Kiku thought best to just go along with the other.
To be honest, actually, there was truth in his voice. Never mind, then.
For the rest of the time inside that pub, other people around the two could have sworn that the Englishman was miserable enough to kill himself; Kiku thought not. As a random, kind soul goes up to William (probably to console him) he ends up getting knocked out unconscious by the same William Craig who was just mumbling on how things were so very much unfair to him.
At that moment, the Englishman tried to pick fights with the others in the pub. Because of this, he and Kiku got kicked out of the building before a serious fight broke out.
Now, the once depressed and pitiful Englishman is all smiles and breaks into some song with his voice terribly out-of-tune.
"—I 'ad sixteen beeersh an' deshi'ed t'ave a fight—!" William sings merrily in his heavy drunken stupor as he unsteadily walks beside a (tipsy) Kiku. The bags of clothes are now in the smaller man's possession since that's practically the only thing he could do rather than supporting the other.
"Did you shee tha' git's face when I tol' 'im tha' his 'beer' was worshe tha' lager? 'Is ears w're shooting steam out, 'e was." The Englishman laughs loudly and rather obnoxiously, clearly having no thought for the people who were most likely sleeping.
"—I'm rolling d'wn th'shtairs—", he sings again, quickly forgetting what he just said.
"—I'm too drunk to fuck—too drunk…to fuck—I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk to fuck!" The Englishman sings a little more loudly.
An unknown silhouette quickly walks by, but Kiku could tell that that passerby was looking at them. When the person's footsteps become more distant, a small laugh could be heard from the shadow. The smaller slightly blushes when he realises that the laugh was meant to be at them—embarrassing.
The Japanese soon regrets not heading home without the other man beside him.
William suddenly grabs the other's arm to pull him into another direction. One of the bags that Kiku was holding onto drops unceremoniously to the floor; soon, all of the bags, previously carried, now shamelessly lay on the ground.
William begins to hum the tune of the song in place of the lyrics that he has forgotten. "—It's all I need righ' now, oh baby—!" he sing once more, but it sounded more of a mumble than anything else.
Before he could try and get away from the other's grasp, William has already pinned the smaller man against a wall; the cool feel from the brick wall slowly bites into his back. The Englishman holds Kiku's wrists above their heads and moves his body closer.
Kiku looks up at the taller man to see a smug grin— he, unmoving, stares on at the other in wonder… almost like when they first met.
"…too drunk to fuck," whispers the Englishman and then closes the gap between he and the other man.
..
"Too Drunk to Fuck" by Sex Pistols