A/N: So I love this chapter. I wrote it awhile ago, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. =) The next update will be for awhile... I haven't even thought about the next chapter yet, but I'm pretty sure it will be a continuation of chapter one.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck or Twenty Years.
Down a road that's leading me nowhere
If life were a movie, wouldn't it be too short? The scenes would be set, the producers only willing to pay so much. When the credits roll, the characters die. That odd universal symbol at the end of the black screen is the minister saying, and they will remain forever in our hearts.
Life is a movie, and they're only actors. Playing their role, listening to the director. In some cases, the General, wondering when the final twist will come. Will their movie win any awards? Will the audience remember them as they drive home from the theater?
Chuck! Snap out of it!
He flicks his head toward Sarah, forcing his wavering thoughts to the present, very very current, situation.
We have to get out of here, you understand?
He nods his head, pretending that he can hear the words coming out of her mouth. The surround sound wasn't really that great in the large aircraft hanger they were in, but the shock from having a gun go off literally right next to his ear wasn't helping his cause. Adrenaline fuels his body as he watches Sarah, his handler, stand from behind their safe cover, guns blazing. Bullets whiz by, and an explosion... explodes... beyond her. Beautiful, really. He's afraid for her of course, as any onlooker should be, and yet, at the same time, he knows that she'll be o.k., because this movie's just started. The heroine can't die until the final scene.
It's a movie, so of course there's a romantic story line. Sometimes it's the main plot, sometimes it's a little emotional something something to create tension, fill space. Sometimes it's the undercurrent that motivates all characters. All you need is love. Love is all you need.
But Chuck finds himself wondering when that story line is gonna kick in. He lies in his bed, alone, every night. He's aware that he's being watched. Casey can't help it, it's his job. He sees the empty space on the other side of his nice big bed and wonders when she'll come in fill it. He wonders what she's waiting for. Cause right now the tension is getting a bit old, and he's tired of fighting her over it. Chuck wants Sarah. It's always been as simple as that. Whoever wrote this script sucks.
This is a spy movie, so of course there's action. There's guns and kung-fu, and even a little bit of unrealistic futuristic technology. So when the intersect gets an upgrade, Chuck finds he likes this plot twist. Suddenly he isn't the damsel in distress. Suddenly he isn't useless, worthless. In fact, he's practically worthy.
In this scene they're sneaking through air vents. He's finally caught onto the logistics of vent crawling, and is currently checking out Sarah's ass, which is inappropriate and against his nature. But he's a guy, and he figures its what Bryce would do. And Sarah did date/have sex with Bryce. Casey, in lead, signals for silence, and stops moving. Chuck hears the movement below them, maybe three, or four men. They have guns, and are speaking in low voices.
Security shows that they're right here...
Shh... they are right here, don't let them know we found 'em.
They aren't here.
They're here! Shut up!
Wait... I think I heard something... safeties off, shoot to kill.
Up in the vent, Sarah turned her head and was giving Chuck a look. It was daring him to follow her. And he would follow her anywhere. When Casey sees the little smirks they're giving each other, he starts to shout a no!, but then they're gone.
One well placed kick with his toe sent Chuck flying down on top of the guards. He flashed mid-air and started scissor kicking and karate chopping left and right. He downs three men, and thinks that Sarah should have the other one under control, until he notices that he had counted wrong. Four other men are on the floor, along with his three, and Sarah is currently dealing with two other guys.
Then Casey falls through the ceiling, gun blazing. He drops the two guys, and Sarah gives him a thankful smile.
Idiots. Now how are we supposed to get into the vault the regular way?
Oh. Right.
But Sarah doesn't seem to care that she just ruined the mission. She continues down the hallway, in the direction of the vault.
Sarah? Should we uh.. you know bodies?
She's halfway down the hall, stops, and shrugs. A guy runs out from behind her, shouting and waving a gun. The Radio chatter is indistinct, and Chuck's heart drops.
He regrets looking at her... in that way.. earlier. He regrets treating her as he has, it wasn't in the script. He's let this new intersect change him. She's right. He isn't that guy anymore. In his mind he's screaming her name. In the real world, he's standing next to Casey silently. In shock.
But she's Sarah Walker. And this is only the middle of the movie. She heard the footsteps coming, the radio shouting, intruders! Level six! So she turns back to her team, shrugs at Chuck's questions, and throws a knife into the center of the guard's forehead.
Chuck finds the will to shout her name, and runs the length the hall to get to her. His hands are everywhere, kind of. He holds her arms, her face, he eyes her all over.
Sarah? Sarah, oh my gosh, are you okay? You're o.k. Yeah, you're alright. Right. That guy, he came out of nowhere, and God, that was close! Huh? Right? Yeah. Casey? Everything's good here!
But Casey is already handing Sarah back her knife, and she's wiping the blood and bits of brain matter on the sleeve of the dead man. She gives Chuck a look. Of course she's o.k. Why's he so worried?
Come on moron, we still need to break the security on the safe... should've known we'd need the C-4.
All Chuck can think of is that he doesn't deserve her. He wonder what possessed the writers to make him give her up in Prague... maybe, maybe it was really her gave him up? And he just didn't understand the characters in the scene... no. That was pushing it. This movie's gonna bomb at the box office.
So the romantic plot line folds out, she does love him (even if she has trouble saying it) and he loves her. They kiss, they go to Paris (but only because the antagonist was trying to kill her) and they run away from their jobs. In hindsight, that part was kind of unnecessary, but he doesn't regret it. Not for one second. Now when she looks at him he knows that she loves him, and when he looks at her, he's afraid that she knows he's lying.
He hates lying, and he doesn't quite understand why it had to be written in, this plot is long and winding enough as it is, but he lies. Maybe it's because he's afraid? But afraid of what? Because, seriously, he's been afraid since the opening credits. Not to sound weird, but it was cuter when he babbled nervously. Now he lies without hesitation. Of course, he's been lying since the start, but maybe it's time to come clean. To everyone.
Chuck? Whatcha thinking about?
Oh... nothing
lie
Oh, um. Alright. You want something to drink?
Sometimes he knows she knows. And it's killing her, but she doesn't know how to approach it. She used to be able to scare him, to force him to tell her the truth, but now he's the intersect 2.0, and he can defend himself. Now he's her boyfriend, and she doesn't do relationships real well. Is lying normal?
No, I'm good.
She pours herself some water, and stays in the kitchen. They've been strained for awhile now.
Chuck?
Yeah?
Why do you love me?
She continues to stay in the kitchen. Maybe she's distancing herself from him. She's distancing herself from the answer. And he thinks that that answer will just roll off his tongue. That he's loved her forever because
I love you.
Yeah, but why Chuck? What's so great about me? Why, why are you with me?
Well, why are you with me?
Don't turn this around! I think I know why I'm with you, but lately I'm not so sure. Are you sure!
Of course I'm sure! I've always loved you, since the start!
But why.
Maybe this is their first fight (but it's not), maybe she's right (she kinda is), maybe he only loves her because he's supposed to. It's what everyone expects.
I... I'm not sure.
She nods, as if to herself. She puts the glass down and grabs her purse.
Wait, where are you going?
Chuck, look, I love you. A version of you, I guess. And I'm pretty sure that guy loves me, but you aren't him right now. You lie to me, to your sister, to Awesome, Morgan, even Casey, everyday, you... you've lost yourself. This version of you.. it doesn't love me, and I'm not sure I love it. So, I still have that room at the hotel, and I'll stay there, for now. Yeah. Um... bye.
And she's out the door and he's alone, still sitting on the couch. And the funny thing is, he doesn't notice a difference. Like maybe, she's been gone for longer than just those two seconds. How long ago did he lose her?
So now it's that moment for some introspective thinking. The sad musical montage plays and the audience watches the character deal with his depression. Hopefully he makes some realizations.
They're still a team, and we're probably three-quarters of the way through the movie. They broke up, but it doesn't mess up the dynamic. Too much. She still kicks ass, and he still flashes. That's all we're watching for anyways, right?
Except she misses him, she misses his goofy smiles and his eloquent speeches. She misses his curly hair and his deep kisses.
Except, he misses himself (yes, it's fairly self-centered). He misses the guy that would play COD with Morgan all night. He misses remembering what Sarah liked on her pizza (now he can flash on it, if he really has too). He misses screwing up and being called an idiot by Casey (but only a little bit), and he misses his family. Awesome moved himself far from Chuck's life. To protect his wife. Chuck wishes he had the stones to protect his own family.
He just doesn't know how to fix it, and it's almost time for the movie to end.
He walks down to Castle after another successful mission, and finds that he misses the old place. The new Castle is too... bright. And it kinda looks like an old Ring base. She's down there, and they greet each other, as if he doesn't know every intimate detail about her.
She walks out of Castle thinking that she loves Chuck because he showed her that she's lovable. He showed her what it meant to be good.
He looks for Casey, wanting the Colonel to approve of his report on the mission, and to make sure they both have the same cover story for what happened between 13:09 and 13:18. But Casey isn't at his desk. But a piece of paper is. And Chuck is nosy, so he reads the piece of paper.
It's a character profile of one Charles I. Bartowski. It has his dopey Buy-More picture, and it dates to four years ago. Before the CIA entered his life. He sees that he was a nobody, a college drop-out working an unrewarding job. He hadn't been on a date in five years (yes, that was actually in the report) and he was still hung up on his ex-girlfriend.
And he realizes that he isn't that guy anymore. He's somebody, he's the most sought after intelligence asset in the world. He got his degree from Stanford (thanks to Sarah), and he no longer loves Jill. He loves someone else because she showed him that he wasn't a loser at the Buy More. She showed him he was Chuck Bartowski, that he was smart enough and good enough on. his. own (without the intersect) to be the best. And he loved her for that.
But he forgot, he forgot that she saw who he really was, beneath the 2.0 and the spy training. He'd pushed himself to be the best because she told him he could be... but maybe she wasn't telling him that he could be... she was telling him that he already was. She believed in him.
He'd fallen out of character.
They have a mission that night, Beckman briefs them on an international... pianist. And of course, Chuck flashes. The pianist had taken up composing, and was inserting coded... codes into his pieces. The codes were used to hack into government servers. They were going to a fancy party the pianist way playing at, and they were going to capture him. Simple, simple.
Except Chuck knows that they're nearing the end, and he isn't sure that simple, simple, is the best way to describe it. Perhaps a 'be careful' would be more called for.
As the team spreads out to start to prepare for the mission, Chuck grabs Sarah's arm, because he needs to tell her that he found himself, that he loves her because
Chuck, not now. We have to get ready.
No, Sarah, this is important.
And she knows it is, she hasn't seen him act like this since scene six, but she isn't ready for this yet. She knows that he thinks he's changed, but she hasn't noticed a difference. She needs to focus on the mission.
After.
But...
After, okay? We finish this simple mission, and then we can talk.
As if he didn't have enough reason to make it out of this one alive.
But then they're still standing there. He's holding on to her forearm, and she's commanding him to let her go, with her eyes. His own are daring her to pull away. Neither moves.
Walker!
And then the moment is broken, and she heads over to Casey, and he consults her on his weapon choice. But the whole time she's thinking that when the mission's over, she will finally feel alive again.
It's the final scene, it has to be. They entered the party as a couple, Casey as third wheel. They talked to the pianist between songs, and he became suspicious. And now they've lost Sarah. Casey took the third floor, Chuck is on the second. He's panicking, running down every hall. He resists shouting her name, so as not to spook the pianist (who had suddenly turned quite evil in the space of a few seconds). But then he turns a corner, and there they are. Chuck whispers into his watch, letting Casey know that he found her. That she's still alive.
He's facing them, and the pianist has her in a hold, protecting his body with hers, a gun to her head. Chuck holds his gun steady and aims it at them. From this distance, he could never make the shot. The intersect isn't flashing, maybe out of fear, maybe out of stupidity. Mostly because he's just forgetting to flash.
Stay back!
Don't move.
Chuck...
Stay back!
I said, don't move! Stay where you are! You're surrounded!
Um, no, I'm not. You don't want me to shoot your girlfriend here, do you?
No. No he doesn't. He wants to kill this bastard for touching Sarah, and then he wants to tell her that he loves her because
The crack of the gun splits the air. A bullet whistles from the pianist's gun through Chuck's skin, and the impact leaves him breathless. He lets out a gasp of surprise. The bad guy never shoots, even though it's obvious that he should... unless... unless this is the end.
Chuck falls to his knees, the shock of the wound apparent on his face. He can't believe that he was shot. And it hurts. It hurts a lot. Sarah, Sarah must have screamed his name because the pianist is telling her to shut up because Chuck is still alive, and is still holding onto his gun.
The flash almost overpowers him, and he swears he hears Sarah yelling for him to Stop. No, Chuck. You'll be fine, stay down. Please. Please. But he can't. He staggers to his feet, one hand covering the bullet hole in his chest, the other pointing the wavering gun. Suddenly flushed with the knowledge of... strength.
Don't you move.
Don't make you shoot you again!
You're under... arrest...
Chuck coughs blood, and sees that his shirt has been soaked through. The elevator sounds, letting them all know that John Casey, the Calvary has arrived. It's only moments until he turns the corner and finds them.
Chuck, stop! Put your gun down!
Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, maybe I'll let her live.
She tries to struggle with the pianist, but he's surprisingly strong.
Chuck starts to walk toward the pianist, gun out in front.
Stop! Stop walking!
Sarah... I.. I have to... tell.. you..
The pianist is screeching, he's afraid of Chuck. Afraid of guns, babbles when he's nervous, working at a Buy More, Chuck. He coughs more blood and staggers forward. The crack of the gun splits the air. Again.
Chuck doesn't fall right away, he stands there, confused. Why did it hurt again? Why? Why's she crying? And that screaming... where's it.. where's
Sarah... because...
No... Chuck, no. Please! Let me go, can't you see he's dying!
Of course he dying, I shot him. Twice!
Because... you... believed.. in
Shut up!
Chuck falls to his knees, again, and his arms are unsure. Which wound should he cover? His breathing is shallow, and blood is filtering into his lungs. He coughs more and hears Casey's footsteps round the corner.
Freeze! Put down your weapon!
He gives Sarah one last sideways glance. He removes his hands, and looks down at his bleeding chest. Why is this happening?
Sarah... I love you because... you believed... in.. who I... was. Before... all this...
He lays himself down and closes his eyes, glad that they had their talk. He hears more gunfire, but notices that none of it pierces his body. That's nice. He didn't like being shot. He thinks that this movie wasn't so bad after all. He's glad he was wrong, that the heroine didn't die in the end. He knows because he can tell she's hovering over him, shaking him, begging him. She's alive. But it's okay, it's okay Sarah. It's all a movie, and the hero dies in this one.