Chapter Four

Darcy was holding the steering wheel so tight one could joke it might snap off. He snuck a peek at Lalita, who sat on the passenger seat looking out the window. He had told her to dress down, and even in jeans and a long sleeved T, she looked gorgeous. How was he ever going to be able to concentrate on not falling when she was beside him?

"So," he asked, "have you ever been ice skating before?"

She turned to face him, smiling. "No, I've always wanted to. It looks like fun."

He nodded, "It can be. When you're with the right person."

Her silence at his last statement forced him to turn towards her. The look she was giving him made him blush. Forcing himself to concentrate, he pointed ahead, "We're here."

He had taken her to a Culver City ice rink which luckily was open on Thursday evenings after eight to the public. As he helped her out of the car, he realized he was almost shaking. There was no denying Lalita's feelings for him had changed and he suddenly felt like everything rested on tonight. Why in the world did he pick something that risked him falling down like a baby? Didn't he embarrass himself enough around her when he tried to dance?

"So you come here often?" she asked as they went in and he rented their shoes.

"Um, not really. Georgina loves it here so we used to go a lot, more so when she was a kid. I thought though you might enjoy this. Or at the very least, laugh when I make a complete fool of myself."

They sat down to put their skates on, "I doubt you're that bad."

"If you thought I was bad dancing, well, this should be much much worse." He glanced over at the skaters who suddenly looked like Olympic hopefuls.

"You didn't dance that bad," she said quickly. Then she changed her mind, "Okay, you were a little bit lost but at least you eventually tried. The day I met you, you hardly made the effort."

He defended himself, "Hey, I had a good reason not to dance that first time."

She finished putting on her last skate. "What was that?"

"My pants were falling down." Darcy was concentrating so much on his attempt to stand with the skates, his tone was completely matter of fact. He didn't think about how it sounded until he noticed Lalita giving him a strange look. "What?"

"Your pants were falling down?"

He realized now she must not have known, though he could have sworn Balraj had practically announced it to the whole wedding audience. "Um, yeah, when we danced briefly those few minutes it started to fall. I was so scared…I mean, I wanted to make an impression on India but not that kind."

Lalita sat there, staring up at him, he wondered if he said something offensive again. But suddenly she started to laugh. Hard. Listening to her, he did realize it was actually quite funny, he joined in.

Finally, they stopped, and he reached out his hand. "Okay, you have to stand up with me."

Taking it, he tried to keep from jumping at the touch of her skin. She stood up and they were fairly close. "You steady?" he asked.

She nodded. Taking a gulp, he walked them towards the rink.

Lalita tried to ignore the sensations she felt at his touch. She had to concentrate on the matter at hand, namely not to fall down on the hard, cold ice. As they started out, Darcy let her hold the edge of the rink while he was on the outside of her. In spite of his complaints earlier, he was having no problem standing up on his own accord.

"You seem to be a fine ice skater," she said, as she slowly let her hand go from the wall.

"This?" He shook his head. "This isn't skating. This is standing. I guess I can do that, but barely. By letting go of the side and standing up on your own, you're already way ahead of me."

Somehow she wasn't so certain. "I doubt that. But so far so good I guess."

He laughed. "Actually I do think I can make a point to you now."

"What?" she said, still looking down.

"The way you are feeling on the ice, right now, this sense of unsteadiness…" He waited for her to respond.

"Yeah, what about it?" she asked.

"It's how I feel when I'm dancing." She looked up at him then, and he was grinning from ear to ear. Lalita's heart bounced and she grinned too.

Then suddenly, she dropped. Instinctively she grabbed for him, which brought him down too.

"You okay?" he asked.

She laughed, it was going to take some getting used to, but this was going to be fun. "Yes, as long as I can keep taking you down with me, I'll be fine."

"Well, won't we be the conspicuous couple? Here, let me help you up."

Together they slowly glided over the ice, both fairly unsteady. Darcy told her about a saying of "the blind leading the blind" and she could see his point. He really wasn't better, his earlier confidence gone since he was moving. Lalita's eyes roamed over his body, his jeans and form fitting shirt he was wearing. Lalita could see those muscles underneath, and found they were much more distracting then all the skaters flying by at the speed of light.

As the night went on, they got better. They'd spent little time talking, when one did try to speak, the other would fall and together they went down. Eventually she improved so much she skated away, and he pretended to act hurt when she was able to actually go far ahead of him.

"Sure, teach you how to skate, and then you leave me behind." He was smiling though. She watched as he started to catch up and so she would skate away. Now the night really became fun, as the cat and mouse game began. Of course, it was like watching a cat and mouse game of toddlers walking for the first time, but that didn't make it less fun.

Eventually he did catch up to her, but was unable to stop. His force pushed them into the wall, not hard. And she would have fallen but he was able to hold the side with one hand and her with the other. Her chest was pushed into his and their breathing was rapid.

"Told you I would catch you," he said triumphantly.

"By ramming into me." His face was just inches from hers. Her heart was beating so hard she wondered if he could hear it. Surely he could feel it. She took the opportunity to feel his biceps through the cotton fabric. He was so warm. And close.

She could smell him, she never wanted to kiss anyone so much in her life at that moment and the desire was on his face, he leaned in and for just a second, Lalita was going to let him. But she came to her senses, knowing she couldn't. Not here, not like this. She pulled away, quickly saying, "I can't."

Darcy's face flushed and she could see the pained look in his eyes. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't…that was wrong. I shouldn't have over stepped…"

Lalita's heart ached watching the misunderstanding play out in front of her. She tried to explain, "No, Will, it's not that, it's…"

A voice interrupted her. "Hey, you two, need to keep moving. No standing still on the ice. That's what the common area is for."

The man was someone who worked at the ice rink. Darcy nodded, looking quite stiff and formal. "Of course, you're about to close soon, right?" He barely waited for the man to respond when he turned to her, gesturing towards the entrance, "It's probably time to leave."

He skated away, she couldn't believe what happened, or didn't happen. She followed, he had already started handing her her shoes. Not sure what to say, she sat down and started changing.

Darcy finished way before her, and grabbed her skates as soon as she let them go. "I'll go ahead and turn these in."

Lalita felt tears in her eyes. She knew Americans had no trouble expressing physical affection in public but for Indians, her religion, it was forbidden. She had lived with the tradition all her life, and accepted it. But the desire to break it was never so great as it was just a few minutes earlier.

Darcy returned, she was still sitting. She started to get up, but he stopped her. Kneeling down, he looked her in the eyes. "I'm truly sorry. That was thoughtless and arrogant of me. To think you felt that way about me. I shouldn't have…I know you probably want to go straight home now and never see me again, though tomorrow is the wedding so you'll be stuck me there but if you don't want to talk to me, I understand. I'll stay away if you want…"

Moved by the tears she saw in his eyes, Lalita reached out her hand, placing it over his mouth. "You really don't know when to shut up, do you, William?" They gazed in each other's eyes for a few minutes, and she moved her hand to caress his face. Touching him felt so right.

"You need to let me explain, please." He silently nodded. "I can't…I'm not allowed…my religion prevents me from public displays of affection."

His eyes widened, and she went on, "Which I came very close to breaking just a few minutes earlier."

"Oh, Lalita," Darcy said, and then took her hand. Staring at it, he looked like he was internally arguing with himself on what to say next. Finally, he said, "I keep screwing up."

"It's ok, it's my religion that you've had no exposure to. I shouldn't expect you to know it all, but, I probably should talk about it."

He nodded. Together they got up, and walked out, he was still holding her hand.

Their talk took place at a nearby coffee shop. Lalita talked for a long time, answering any questions. Darcy's questions were sincere. Lalita realized with shame if he had asked the same questions back in India, she would have doubted his sincerity and presumed he was making fun of her. Now she saw a man who really wanted to know. In return, he talked about his own religion and traditions, not as many but the few he had were just as important to him as to her. When they were done, there was a new understanding between them. It was soon time to go home.

They parked the car and Darcy helped her out. They walked to the front door. People were inside but no one had heard them yet. She turned to face him. "I had a lovely time tonight."

He smiled, "Good, remember that because you will have bruises from those falls from earlier."

"Falling is good," Lalita said absent mindedly, realizing how close he was. Technically they were still in public but no one was on the street and her family was inside. She reached out, touching his chest, feeling the contours of his muscles. Hesitantly he approached. She made no effort to move away so Darcy slowly moved forward, gently kissing her forehead. She circled her arms around his waste. He took a step back, but forgot the porch step was behind him. He managed to keep from falling, but now he was one step below her which put them at eye level. Lalita giggled, he really was endearing. How could she not notice when he was in India?

Soon her smile faded and she leaned in, following her instinct, gone were all inhibitions. The touch of his lips on hers was fleeting but enough for her to move forward. He deepened the kiss and Lalita forgot everything around her, just enjoyed the sensations rolling through her body. Her experience of kissing was limited. When Jaya had told her what it was like to kiss Balraj, Lalita had no idea what her sister was talking about. Now with Darcy she knew exactly what her sister had experienced.

Eventually he pulled away. Lalita found herself slightly off balance and held onto the column to her right. She had to take a few seconds to recover. Meanwhile, his walk to the car was backwards so he could keep eye contact, making her laugh.

"I'll see you tomorrow at the wedding," he said, hopeful.

"Oh yes, I'll be looking forward to it." She really would.