A magical fairy tale in response to Cat x France x China x A Wall.
Uh. Yeah.
Once upon a time, there were these two guys. They were named Ludwig and King Henry VIII. They also had manes. Because they were horses, not guys. Well, they were guy horses. But whatever.
So this one time, these two majestic horse guys were in a lovely field of flowers and shit, and they were having a gay old time. They were galloping and skipping with their hooves and singing along to Henry's mix tape of Barry Manilow songs. It was fucking awesome. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and shit was happening. Seriously.
BUT THEN, OH MY GOD. This man came. Okay, he was actually not a man. He was another horse. But that's kind of obvious since this story is all about horses and stuff. So this guy, he's all decked out in black…horse clothing. Or whatever. Those things that are all on top of horses raping their backs, you know? Yeah. He had one. And it was black. He was evil, you see. Very evil. He was so evil, in fact, that whenever he entered a room, someone breathed. OH GOD. So evil.
So this evil guy, his name was Chris the Loss Prevention Man. He prevented losses. Like a boss. Except for this one time that this old lady had stuffed a package of forks and spoons into her underwear and ran out of Ross. Yeah. He was SO not going to stick his hand all up in that junk.
Chris the Loss Prevention Man approached the other horses that were jumping and shit like two complete idiots, and he said, "THOU ART GOING TO DIEEEEE."
Ludwig the horse guy screamed.
Henry farted.
Chris the Loss Prevention Man laughed and galloped gracefully around the field. He trampled some butterflies. He peed on a flower. It was all very evil.
Ludwig complimented Chris on his wonderfully graceful peeing. Chris said thank you. Because that is the polite thing to say.
And then, Chris divided by zero, and the world fell into a giant hole that lead to Michael Jackson's secret playland.
They were then all raped.
The end.