I enjoy writing crack.
Please, take no offense to this story if you or someone you love is a porn star.
And also, look! Estonia is in a story. Wow. Someone actually cares. (not me) XD
A long time ago, in the land of ghetto porn stars, there lived two men. Their names were Cash Money Ka-ching and Cupcake Bucket, aka Toris Lorinaitis and Alfred F. Jones. When they were little, they wanted to star on Gilmore Girls as two quirky gay neighbors, but that never really happened.
So here they were, these two guys. These two porn guys. Sittin' on a shag carpet eatin' some Cheetos in the nude. This was their Sexy Timeeeee room, complete with a heart-shaped rug and carpet-covered walls. They spent most of their days in this room, thinking about sexy things and playing Yahtzee.
But one day, this particular day that we are talking about, the one where they were eating Cheetos, a knock came at the door.
Alfred…er, Cupcake Bucket, really didn't want to leave his love nest to go see who was at the door. But he did anyway. Cuz he couldn't just leave his homeboy at the door hangin', you know? That's so not fly.
So Cupcake Bucket went to the door and opened it. And wouldn't ya know, it was his good friend Cheese Doodle, aka Matthew Williams, star of Pour Some Maple Syrup On Me, Baby.
Cupcake Bucket was so excited to see his wing man, his home slice, his brotha from anotha motha.
Except they were actually brothers. So. That name really did nothing for either of them.
"Watchoo doin' booooo?" Cupcake Bucket asked.
"Ah, notin' much, babaaaay," Cheese Doodle replied. "I was jus' wonderin' if you and Cash Money were up for a game of Naked Cops."
Cupcake Bucket was ALWAYS ready for a game of Naked Cops. Who wouldn't be? I mean, sure. You would be naked, so no one would really recognize that you were dressed up as a cop, but whatever. It was the thought that counted.
How convenient! Cash Money Ka-ching and Cupcake Bucket were already naked! And covered in that delicious orange cheese shit they put on Cheetos. Yum.
So, Cheese Doodle went into the Sexy Timeeeee room and took it off every body take it off like a boss.
And then they played Naked Cops, followed by Naked Cowboys, and then Naked Pizza Delivery Guys.
And it was sexy.
Until there was another knock at the door.
Cheese Doodle went to answer it, in the nude. Because who DOESN'T want to see a naked man standing in front of you when someone opens the door? I do. But whatever.
"Wazzup, Doodle-meister?"
Well, golly! It was their upright hombre, Peaches the Annihilator, aka Eduard von Bock. And he wanted in on the sweet baby-making action.
So they all had some sexy fun times. And then they went out for ice cream.
In the nude.
The end.