Reflections

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.

Jacob turns with a heavy and sad sigh heading back inside the house. He's angry – correction, he's pissed off but not at Leah. He's pissed off with himself because this, that isn't how things were supposed to play out between them. She had come to him as a friend just wanting to get some things off her chest; laugh, joke, tease and goof off. Instead, he let his hormones and emotions get the better of him. Jacob walks to the dryer and pulls out Leah's dress noticing there are still grease and dirt stains on it – he'll wash it one more time and give it back to her. Maybe he'll be better off having Rachel give it back to her then that way there's no suspicion because they always borrow each other's clothes and Rachel won't ask him why he has Leah's dress.

Sitting down at the kitchen table running a hand roughly over his face he lets his mind wander. He told Leah that he loves her and that he's loved her before their arrangement stopped – which is true. Jacob Black has, in fact, loved Leah Clearwater since they were both in elementary school. She being 2-years older than him meant that she hung around his sisters a lot but they all still played together. It was her kind heart that won him over. Rachel and Rebecca Black were notorious for pulling pranks on their brother and his friends. This particular time was during the twins' 13th birthday party. They had practically invited the entire 5th – 8th grade class to celebrate their 'birthday extravaganza' as Rebecca always put it. There were balloons, cake, games, music, presents and best of all the piñata. Jacob should've known something was up when his sisters offered him the first whack at the piñata but he was so excited to bust it open and get the candy he didn't care or even knock it. Turns out his sisters had a giant balloon full of flour and shaving cream. They gave him a stick with a nail on the end so matter what he'd burst it.

Jacob would never forget the embarrassment of having his friends, classmates, his sisters and the rest of the school laughing at him and pointing. He remember his face burning and his eyes stinging as seemingly everyone is laughing at him – except for one. Leah stands with a small frown on her face and before he can give into the tears she walks up and takes his hand. She yells at everyone and tells them to stop laughing and that the twins are just mean and something else. He doesn't remember because all he recalls is the warmth of her standing beside him, defending him. The way her eyes shined with her anger and yet when she turned to look at him they quickly became soft and caring. She led him inside his home taking him directly to the bathroom and proceeded to try and help him clean up. He remembers how soothing it felt to have Leah run her fingers through his hair as she tried to get as much of the mess out of his hair. How self-conscious he felt about his body when she told him to take off his shirt.

After cleaning him up as much as she could the two of them went to his room and lied down on his bed. Jacob Black was never a shy or quiet child and his suddenly lack of conversation led Leah to believe that he was still upset over the horrible prank. He was upset but at the same time glad that the prank took place because Leah was paying attention to him and him alone. He remembers closing his eyes and listening to Leah talk about nothing in particular – focused on keeping him company. Eventually Leah dozed off herself and Jacob opened his eyes to see her lying beside him, her lips slightly parted and her sweet breath blowing gently starting to cool his quickly heating cheeks. She looked so peaceful sleeping beside him and before he knew it his face was mere inches from Leah's face and most importantly her lips. Her lips looked so soft and full that he could no longer fight it and gently kissed her lips.

She tasted like strawberries – she had snuck a strawberry off of the twins' cake when she thought no one, particularly her mother, was looking; he saw though. Not long afterwards the twins came in after being lectured by their father and Sue Clearwater apologizing for their mean prank. Surprisingly Jacob quickly forgave his sisters and ran outside to play as if nothing had happened. To him nothing else mattered because at the age of 10 he was in love. He was in love with the sweetest, bravest, kindest and most beautiful girl in the world.

But love at that age is easy; it's innocent, unconditional and selfless. That's how it started as simply admiring and adoring Leah. There wasn't anything that he couldn't and wouldn't do for Leah; he'd fix her bike for free, he gave her his lunch when Seth would leave his behind, he'd walk in the rain gladly because it meant that Leah and Seth were dry under his umbrella (Seth tending to forget and lose things a lot) and when she tripped over a hurdle skinning her knee he carried her all the way home on his back – there wasn't anything that he'd deny her. But the innocence didn't last as the childish love became teenage lust and eventually just a fantasy of something that would never be. He strived to become the kind of man that Leah Clearwater would love; he recalled his feelings of self-consciousness over his body, how laying down and talking to someone always helped ease her fears and worries and she wanted to look out for other kids. His entire life focused on meeting each of the small details that he had learned about her over the years. He worked out, study hard, always helpful and never a bully but then Leah hooked up with Sam Uley and never looked back leaving Jacob dejected for a moment as he moved on as well.

He moved onto Bella Swan. She was no Leah Clearwater by any means but she was sweet, kind and her dark brown eyes contrasted with her pale skin nicely. Even though Jacob had Bella it never meant that he had forgotten about his first love. Leah still filled his dreams at night and even his fantasies when Bella was being a cock tease wanting to wait until they were married. Which was fine; Leah would just always be his one 'gimme' within his relationship. You know that one woman that'd he sleep with and Bella couldn't get upset about.

Leah became simply that a fantasy girl who only existed in his dreams that is until she walked into his first psychology class his freshman year. When he saw her he felt like his whole world was crashing down around him. He had been loyal to Bella for two-years but his Achilles heel had just walked through the door looking even more beautiful then he remembered. Sure he knew that she was attending the same college but never imagined he'd sit through class with her. Not only did they have the same class but she sat next to him and talked to him everyday. They had lunch together and a couple of other classes together like history, lit classes and other electives.

She was becoming a teacher and he a psychologist - eventually. They'd probably work together back home and his fantasies began all over again. The two of them in his office – her problem being a sex addict that only he could satisfy. She expanding her lessons and teaching him everything she knew about sex. The only problem was that she was still with Sam Uley and he was still with Bella Swan. They both often talked of their significant others and this small detail only pulled Jacob further and further into Leah – she was honest, loyal and a true friend. As their friendship continued to grow they're relationships with Sam and Bella seemed to change. Sam was blowing off his and Leah's Friday's dates using work as an excuse. Jacob recalls frowning when he would find Leah in the game room when she was supposed to be on her date and she would tell him Uley's sorry excuse. He had his doubts about Sam's loyalty and fidelity to Leah but he dismissed them as just simple 'jealousy' issues. Jacob Black wanted Leah Clearwater and a cheating boyfriend would be his in. Bella at the same time was exhibiting similar behaviors by not answering her phone when he called; taking sometimes hours or even days to return his call, and when she did answer she was short and seemed to be whispering. Jacob knew of Edward Cullen – while he was stuck at tribal school Bella was stuck at Forks High with him. She had a crush on the Cullen boy, he knew, but felt confident in their relationship – at the time.

After Leah graduated he missed seeing her since she went back to La Push to take a teaching job in the tribal school and his summers were spent in summer school taking full loads of works, busy writing papers, working in wards, prisons and the occasional office when one of his favorite professors. His relationship with Bella was all but non-existent as he stopped calling her opting instead to write his assignments. She called him wondering if he was alright and his favorite was 'are you seeing someone else'. That question caused him to laugh bitterly as he knew perfectly well that what she was questioning him she was guilty of herself. What really surprised him was when Bella showed up at his graduation with Edward on her arm. Leah was just as surprised and he recalls the sense of pride and admiration he felt when Leah stood by his side possessively glaring at his supposed girlfriend.

Bella had come to his graduation with her new boyfriend to then break up with him. Jacob would've been angry but he saw this coming and all he really cared about was hanging out with Leah after everything was said and done. Apparently, he hadn't given his Bells the proper reaction, which was a smile and a 'sure, sure'. She tried to clean it up saying that she just wasn't ready to settle down, she wanted to see the world, make friends and not stay in a rainy peninsula for the rest of her life. Edward was just a friend but that 'Jacob, I still love you and always will. I just need to see if I can stand on my own two feet without you. You'll always be my sunshine and I'll always want you'. Thinking back on it had all of this transpired when he was still in high school – he'd probably be a jealous wreck. He'd believe her sweet words that she still loved him while kissing and getting cozy with another. He'd convince himself that she just needed more time to figure out that he was what she really wanted and needed.

He'd learn that relationships are about give-and-take. Bella didn't have much to offer him within their relationship and even her supposed friendships were half-assed. Bella didn't enjoy hanging out with his friends nor did she enjoy being around any of her own. She was quiet and when she tried to be witty and clever it only came out as a weak remark which the others chose to ignore because Jacob liked her. He'd learn what a relationship could be like through interacting with Leah and from Quil and Embry's attempts at dating. "Man, I don't know how you did it. But Leah is way better than Bella Swan." Quil commented one night after the group of them had done a group date. Again Sam had stood Leah up. Jacob corrected them that he and Leah weren't dating but just friends although the thought and idea had already crossed his mind.

"I'm an idiot." Jacob groans out roughly running his hands across his face.

"I'm afraid that I'll have to agree." Billy says snapping Jacob out of his mood. Jacob's eyes widen looking at his father; who's sitting before him in the house. Jacob groans as Billy weakly chuckles. "Yes, I'm afraid I've been here for quite a while now." Billy admits confirming Jacob's thoughts.

"How long?" Jacob asks leaning back in his chair to stare up at the ceiling.

"Well long enough to know that it'd probably be best if I went to my room before Leah finished streaking to the door." Jacob's head immediately shoots straight up as he glares darkly at his father. "Calm down now. I want you to be with Leah more than anyone else. She's yours, I know." Billy says showing his hands up in mock surrender. "However, if you keep messing up like this I might have to step in." Billy chuckles as Jacob's face suddenly pales.

"You're a dirty old man." Jacob admits shaking the thoughts of Leah and Billy from his head.

"Might I make a suggestion?" Billy asks and Jacob waves his hand ushering him to continue. "Tell the girl you love her before banging her. And preferably, before your first go 'round."

"I have to finish Quil's truck." Jacob says gruffly getting up and shooting his father a dark glare before heading back outside. He didn't need his father telling him how to win the love of his life. Jacob knew what to do – the only problem was actually following through with it. Leah's presence just had such an affect on him that all rational thought escaped him. All that mattered was her; being with her, making her smile, laugh and just her everything. Jacob sighs heavily – he is beyond a shadow of a doubt in love with Leah Clearwater.

Jacob's thoughts continue to stray to Leah and his options to getting back on her good side. He knows that she'll need time to think; think over what he said, what they did and what she feels. They fit too perfectly together for them not to try and make something of their relationship. Leah wasn't quick to let just anyone bed her – plenty of guys had tried and worse even within his presence. She had put all her trust in him – had he violated that trust? She loves him, he knows that. He sees it in her eyes whenever they see one another, touch one another and even just hearing each other's voices.

There is just one thing that has been bugging Jacob since she drove away from him. Why didn't she believe him? Why did she think he couldn't love her? If there was one thing Leah Clearwater was not short on it was self-esteem.

"I'm going to have to figure out why she didn't want to believe me." Jacob states out loud coming out of his thoughts holding Leah's panties and bra. Holding Leah's undergarments reminds him of Leah's smell, her warmth, her beautiful moans awakening his aching groan – he doesn't believe he'll ever get enough of that woman.

"Your Dad said you were out here still working on my truck?" Jacob quickly turns around hiding the objects behind his back as Quil walks in with a smile. Quil's smile falls the moment he notices Jacob's tense and unusual posture.

"Yea, yea I need more time." Jacob says nodding at the truck with his head as Quil frowns at him.

"You said you'd have it done today." Quil pushes crossing his arms and casually looks around the garage. Jacob narrows his eyes at Quil before turning around heading towards his work bench tucking the unmentionables in a drawer.

"Well something came up." Jacob says with a shrug as Quil chuckles behind him.

"Well its fine if you need more time. I just need to grab something out the glove compartment." Quil says hopping in the cab and rummaging around. Jacob normally doesn't mind Quil's presence but at the moment he kind of wanted some alone time with Leah's – and he slaps his forehead. "So Leah's doing great, I take it?" Quil asks hoping out the truck and slamming the door. "And I'm glad you two are still using protection."

"Fuck." Jacob hisses as he grabs his shirt off the floor and pulls it down to hide his stubborn hard on as Quil laughs at his friend's misfortune.

"Looks like you've already done that – four times?" Quil says wide eyed and obviously impressed. Jacob turns around frowning as he notices Quil counting out his condoms.

"I can't believe you keep track of your condoms like that." Jacob says bumping Quil with his shoulder as he walks by him.

"Yea, I can't believe Grandpa thinks I actually care about the difference between butter and margarine. What's your point?" Quil asks with a shrug earning a confused chuckle from Quil. "I know; what does that have to do with all the tea in China?"

"Quil just shut up." Jacob says shaking his head.

"Awe, c'mon, man. You're supposed to our expert psychologist. You shouldn't tell your patients to shut up."

"First, I'm not an expert."

"Damn, right." Quil quips earning a dark look from Jacob.

"Secondly, I legally cannot practice until I get my Masters."

"A minor technicality. But you just can't open up your own practice until you get your Masters." Quil states with a shrug.

"And finally you're not my patient. You're my best friend and I can tell you to shut the fuck up as much as I want. It's all apart of our healthy friendship."

"Open communication?"

"Open communication." Jacob says with a nod getting back to work on Quil's truck. Jacob may have wanted to mope and daydream about Leah and their situation but he was secretly glad that Quil had stopped by; he always knew how to put him in a good mood.

"While we're practicing this 'open communication'," Quil says with air quotations as Jacob sighs heavily. Right now he's regretting the appreciative comment.

"Don't, Quil. Just don't." Jacob says shaking his head.

"I'm just saying that you are so into Leah it's ridiculous. I just don't get why you haven't just come out and told her that you love her?"

"I did." Jacob says sadly turning back to his work.

"Oh shit! Seriously? So when were you going to tell me? Wait…is she inside asleep? Can I wake her up?" Quil asks his eyes lighting up. Quil is no exception to having had a crush on Leah Clearwater but he's since moved on and sees Leah as a near and dear friend; a friend who he'd love to prank just once.

"She's not here." Jacob answers his brow furrowing angrily as his tone becomes short and sharp.

"Oh…uh, is it alright to tell a psych major he needs to talk about it?" Quil asks leaning against the workbench. Letting out a sigh Jacob concedes telling Quil as much as he feels comfortable letting his cousin know – there's no need to get into the sordid details. He tells Quil about Leah's arrival, how Sam accused her of cheating on him, the playful game that erupted leading up to the loud thunderclap. The kiss, their mad dash to the house (being naked not necessary information to relay), Leah's sudden bout of guilt and the frustration he felt seeing the look of regret in her eyes. His confession of his feelings for her and finally the look of disbelief and hurt that crossed her features before she finally left.

"I…I just wish I knew why she didn't think she could believe me." Jacob says with a sigh as Quil looks on thoughtfully. Both wish they had the answer.

"There's always Rachel." Quil offers shrugging his shoulders.

I'm not sure how long I've been asleep but when I come to it's to the loud and heavy footsteps of my brother, Seth, back from work. My room is completely pitch black with only the hallway light illuminating my room. I hear Seth stop by my door and look in on me before heading further down the hall to his room. I let out a breath that I wasn't aware I was holding as it comes out in jagged short breaths. I can't believe I cried myself to sleep over Jacob's words, 'That I love you!' keeps playing over and over again in my head. I need to talk to someone about this and slowly I sit up in my bed feeling completely drained – emotionally and physically.

I get up from my bed and slowly pad towards Seth's door just following the wood paneling design. Seth and I used to make a game out of the patterns picking one and then jumping from one pattern to the other. I hear a deep groan once I reach Seth's doorframe and leaning against it for support I look in to see my not-so little brother standing with his back to me. He's a tribal officer; it's always been his dream since he was little. There isn't much to do on such a small rez but whenever someone gets a little out-of-hand, or there's rumors of drug problems with some kids it's the tribal officers' jobs to investigate the matter and deal with it; our own little police station.

"Hey, Leah thought you were asleep." Seth says taking off his light brown button-up shirt to reveal a simple white tank underneath.

"I, I just woke up." I rasp out and immediately wince at the hoarse sound of my own voice. Seth quickly turns around to look at me his brow furrowed and straightens up once he sees my face. "Do I look that bad?" I ask chuckling lightly as I walk into his room meeting him halfway.

"Leah, what's the matter? What happened?" Seth demands wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I can't help but smile and lean into my brother's embrace. I feel as secure with him as I do with Daddy and even…Jacob.

"I…that is," I begin unsure of exactly how to get the ball rolling.

"C'mon." Seth says leading me to his bed. We both sit down and Seth rests his cheek against the top of my head. I'm 5-years older than my brother and it's sometimes hard to believe that he's bigger than me now. But before there was Jacob, Sam and any other boys there was always Seth and Daddy. When I couldn't talk to one there was always the other.

"Is this about Sam?" Seth asks after a couple minutes of silence and I slowly shake my head. The moment I shake my head Seth sits up straight and frowns down looking giving me a stern, hard look. "Lee, what happened?" Seth asks and as I look down preparing to open my mouth he answers his own question. "Jesus, Lee, not Jacob again."

"What do you mean 'not Jacob again'?" I ask as Seth groans and lies down on his bed. I know he's tired after working all day and my emotional problems is a lot of added baggage.

"Okay, so again is a poor word choice." Seth says throwing his arm across his face as I lay down next to him looking up at the ceiling.

"I needed someone to talk to, hang out with." I begin starting with the clean, honest truth.

"Rachel?"

"Busy. And Paul was there." I state my nose scrunching in disgust at the mention of my best friend's husband.

"Dad?"

"Working at the lodge." I throw out as Seth grumbles to himself. "Look, I also really missed him."

"And you thought going to see the guy you were screwing during your time apart from Sam was a good idea?" Seth asks turning his head to look at me and I frown because honestly, yea, yea I did. It seemed harmless at the time. "Jesus, Lee. Did you sleep with him?"

"He told me he loves me." I blurt out not wanting to answer that question. As kids Seth always looked up to Jacob wanting to do anything and everything that he did. I think it was because Dad was busy with work and tribal duties, I was a girl and that left him with Sam, Jacob or Quil among the tribal elders' kids. Apparently, Seth saw something in Jacob that he admired and I was too stupid to see at that age. Seth falls silent looking at me in disbelief.

"He just came out and said it?" Seth asks softly as I nod my head.

"He said that he loved me before I went back to Sam." I whisper resting my head on Seth's shoulder.

"You don't believe him, right?" Seth demands and I can hear the frown and anger in his voice. I don't respond back but think it over. "Right." Seth demands again jerking his shoulder.

"Right." I agree reluctantly biting my bottom lip and trying to fight back another bout of tears.

"Don't fall for that, Lee." Seth says wrapping his arm around my shoulders and holding me close. "Listen, you already know how I feel about both of them right now." Seth says and I nod my head. Remember when I mentioned Seth looking up to Jacob? Well that all changed the moment our 'special' relationship ended.

I can't believe what has happened. It's funny how you suddenly seem to wake up and realize that you're in love with someone. The person who I thought I was in love with isn't the one I am in love with. It's not that I no longer love Sam anymore it's just not the same. I smile happily thinking about how I've fallen for Jacob Black. We had started off as platonic friends but a little bit of relational problems with our so-called significant others and we become inseparable. I don't want to think about going through life without Jacob in my life and I have a feeling that deep down he might feel the same way. I can't help the smile that graces my lips as I take another sip from my cup of coffee. "Glad you decided to grace us with your presence this morning." I look up from my paper to see my Dad walking into the kitchen.

"Morning, Daddy." I greet him as he sits down beside me and snags the sports section.

"Need some time apart from Jacob?" Daddy asks and I narrow my eyes at him just holding my cup at my waiting mouth. I love my Dad to pieces and we've always been really close. But when he comments on my social life it can be a bit…embarrassing. You think Billy Black is bad? He's learned it from Harry Clearwater.

"I just wanted to, uh, sleep in my own bed. Besides I only sleep over there during the weekends." I state matter-of-factly.

"Oh, really? And since when has Wednesday and Thursday been apart of the weekend?" Daddy asks with a smug smirk. "Don't get me wrong. I appreciate you two keeping that over at his place. Your old man has a bad heart and can't stand to hear the sounds of you two caught in the throes of,"

"DADDY!" I cry out finally putting my cup down and my cheeks burning bright red as I'm sure the rest of my body is.

"Sorry, sweetheart." Daddy says laughing out loud. He loves to torment and torture me. "Look, Jacob is a great young man. He's smart, kind, gentle, loyal, dependable and has a bright future ahead of him." Daddy says smiling at me with that warm Daddy smile. "Personally, I prefer him over Uley any day but I'm not the one either of them are interested in."

"Otherwise that'd just be too awkward." I throw out rolling my eyes.

"But…I want you to just follow your heart on this one." Daddy says placing his hand on top of mine and squeezing it before getting up. "Alright, so I think I hit my 'Daddy's Little Girl' comments and advice quota for the week. You be good and be safe." Daddy says as he heads out the door off to work.

"Aren't I always?" I state proudly.

"At least that's what Jacob tells me." I groan letting my head hit the table at my father's last jab. It sucks having a parent who knows all about your sex life. But at least he's not hounding me about the moral ramifications of my actions or 'what this is doing to Sam' according to my mother. I love my mother but she really needs to get over herself. She is all up on Sam's dick thinking he's the greatest thing since sliced bread with butter on top. To her Sam can do no wrong even after he was caught plowing my cousin, Emily, in front of 1/3 of the Quileute population. According to her 'it was just a drunken mistake. You and Emily look so much alike. Don't let this ruin everything.' Puh-lease, as if. Maybe he should've thought of that before he stuck her with his dick. I can't help but frown as I think back on that day and the many other conversations since then.

Honestly, Sam and Emily's coupling has been the best thing for me ever. Without their little fuck up I never would've gotten to know Jacob as intimately and closely as I have now. Hearing the back screen door open I shake my head chuckling thinking it's only Daddy coming back because he's forgotten his car keys – again. "What'd you forget this time Da," I start off but cut myself short as I see Sam walk in smiling sheepishly. "Hey." I greet him turning back to my newspaper.

"Morning, Lee-Lee." Sam greets using that annoying pet name he came up for me. It was cute once upon time but now it annoys me. "How are you doing?" Sam asks sitting down in Daddy's chair.

"Pretty good, actually." I answer giving him a rare smile that seems to brighten his mood. "Yesterday was the last day of summer school. So at least for another month I don't have to worry teachers, school books and any kids' dirty looks." Sam chuckled along with me nodding his head.

"Have you given anymore thought about us?" Sam asks breaking our few minutes of rare and comfortable silence.

My talk with Sam went pretty well and he seemed…mildly okay with my statement that I wasn't ready to get back together exclusively. It's funny being on the other end; I've never asked a guy to be…what? Serious with me? But I'm just going to come out and tell Jake that I like him and would like to seriously pursue our relationship and see if we can really make something long termed out 'us'.

As I walk down the street I slow my pace down to see an old beat up red truck. It's not just any truck but it's ugh…Bella Swan's. I, personally, don't have anything against Bella but she's being toying around with Jacob for far too long. I've been good and have kept my mouth shut when I'm around her mainly because Jacob is still her 'friend'. She suddenly showed up about two weeks ago once the rumors got around that Jake and I are a couple. He wasn't surprised to see her since Sam was becoming a more frequent visitor at home.

I continue on walking at my normal pace hoping that by the time I make my way to the driveway she'll already be on her way back home or wherever the hell she and Eddie boy go. But, wouldn't you know it – she's still there. Then again it's not as if I had far to walk. As per usual for Jake around this time I know I can find him in the garage working on the latest project for either himself or someone on the Rez. My suspicions are confirmed when I hear something fall in the garage and I fight back a chuckle picturing Bella having tripped over something in her usual klutzy manner.

"Jacob." I hear Bella breathe out and that causes me to pause. Why would she just 'breathe' out Jacob's name? First of all, I know I'm too old to be sneaking around to ease drop on my boyfriend, potential boyfriend's conversations with other females but you'd be a little concerned too if it was Jacob Black. And secondly, Jacob has already told Bella that he doesn't feel the same about her anymore. Peeking around the corner I feel my blood run cold and my throat close up as I see Bella, Bella Swan gasping holding her clasped hands to her chest in surprise as Jacob is presenting to her a small diamond engagement ring.

"Listen, Bells." Jacob says with a deep sigh before looking up at her smiling. "This time apart has given me a lot of time to think about things. Think about me, you, us. It's put what's important to me in perspective and what I truly want out of life."

"An engagement ring?" She breathes out in disbelief. Yea, I'm right with ya heifa. Jacob only nods his head amused by Bella's surprised gawk.

"Yes, Bells, an engagement ring."

"Are, are you sure about…this? I mean we,"

"I love you, Bells. I do," And that was it. I couldn't stand to hear anymore. Jacob was proposing to Bella Swan? After everything she put him through? He still loved her, correction love; he still loves her.

I head back home trying to fight back a bout of tears. I really have no right to cry because Jacob has always loved Bella Swan. She's not perfect or coordinated or decisive and a skank – okay, down jealousy, down. But the point of the matter is he loves her. We're just friends who hooked up and had some fun with each other to pass the time and unleash some pent up frustration. That's it and so there's nothing wrong with Jake wanting a real relationship. He deserves and so do I. We both deserve someone to love and to love us back.

Despite my strong determination that day I still cried and, unfortunately, Seth saw my tears. I've never been able to keep much from my brother; maybe it's the soon-to-be detective in him but he's always known when something is wrong. Sitting out on our back porch I told him about my decision over Sam and that I was choosing Jacob. However, Jacob was now choosing Bella. Seth didn't believe me at first thinking that I'd misunderstood; that maybe if I had stuck around longer or just walked in like I normally would.

I thought it over and believed that Seth was right. Maybe I was overreacting and Jacob was just flashing an engagement ring…because? Why the hell would he have one? Guys don't just carry engagement rings around to flash around to other girls. At least those were some of the thoughts that went through my head while Seth went to get to the bottom of the situation.

Seth came back hours later pissed off cussing under his breath and his anger had confirmed my original thoughts. Jacob had proposed to Bella Swan but she turned him down. When Jacob stopped by the next day that's when I broke it off with him. He was confused by my sudden change of heart and before he could say anything more Seth came in saying that we had an errand to run.

After that I started seeing other people and wound up back with Sam as before. Jake and I still talked in the meantime but never really about us. He never mentioned his proposal to Bella and I never asked. According to Seth, Bella turned Jacob down. Guess I would just be his consolation prize.

"Leah, did you hear me?" Seth asks sternly as I open my eyes. "You deserve better. Don't just settle for either Jacob or Sam."

"I won't, Seth." I sigh shaking my head as Seth kisses my forehead. Seth is right though. I'm not just settling with Sam. He made a mistake and was man enough to own up to it. Not only that but he's done everything he could do and more to make it all up to me. He gave me space when I asked for it and has respected all of my decisions up until this point. He's not perfect but neither am I.

A/N: Well I finally updated. After talking with cucumber07 I decided 'ah the the hell with it' and went ahead to post up what I have. I apologize for any errors but I've just finished a 5-hr straight Left 4 Dead 2 campaign and my EYES HURT! THEY BURNS US! THEY BURNS US! But now you all know why Leah doesn't believe Jacob. Will he be able to make everything right? ...I'd add more but I'm so tired.

chelley - I finally got your story. I'll edit it while at work tomorrow. Everything should be light because of the upcoming 3-day weekend.

Thanks for all your reviews! I really do appreciate them and they all inspire me. -_-; Just sometimes life happens that makes some as fun as writing such a chore for me. But you all know what to do. Don't just read but REVIEW! REVIEW! Even if it's to say 'love it', 'hate it'...c'mon peeps give me a bone.

Also on a completely different note since I'm hooked on cucumber07's story I've followed her to the Jacob Black n Pack site. I love it because I can post my status and still keep my ani...ugh, so tired. Keep my real name free from stalkers. And all that privacy junk. Just as an FYI I am currently working on Wake Up Call.