Advice, Truth and Say Wha?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters but did go to Burger King again…and currently I have 2 Bree's and a Alex. Pfft, stupid vamps keep trying to make their way into my room. NO! You leeches stay outside in my car and overheat!

Seth was right that I deserved more but than again he didn't know that I was no better than Sam Uley. Maybe despite everything we were truly meant to be together; we are one and the same. Yin and yang. Sun and moon. All relationships hit a bump in the road every once in a while and it's how the couple settles their issues is what defines whether or not they can make it work and have a truly lasting relationship. That's what I kept telling myself over and over again for the last week debating on what to do about Sam. Do I break it off because I can't be trusted to be in the same room with my best friend's brother? Or do I actually fight my hormones like a rational human being and fight for what is mine? I'm going to fight for what is mine…damnit.

Alright, Clearwater, say it again but with more feeling…

DAMNIT!

Yea, that's it. Are you going to let your slut of a cousin come in and ruin your relationship with Sam?

Hell no!

Are you going to give up your first love just because you had a taste of, what could possibly be coined as, the best dick you've ever had in your life?

Wait…what?

Are you going to let that wolverine inside of you de-evolve into a spineless amoeba just letting any other girl have what should be rightfully yours?

Who am I thinking about here?

No! Of course not!

Yea…?

So you're going to march yourself straight up to him and you're going to demand the love and respect you deserve, right?

…Right.

Despite all the sports I played I was never good at giving pep talks to psyche someone up. I can't even psyche myself up; all I've done is confused myself even more so. I've dated a lot of guys after Sam and after Jacob; it's any wonder how I find myself right back in a relationship with either one of them.

…alright, brain, let's try this again.

I've been thinking long and hard over my conversation with Seth. My little brother is absolutely right in that I shouldn't just settle on a relationship. I deserve a long lasting relationship with someone who I not only get along with but can trust, be open with, have conversations with and just be 'me'. The problem is right now I'm not really sure if I can trust Jacob because he claimed to love me before my engagement with Sam but he proposed to Bella. I can't be open with Sam because then I'll feel like the scum of the Earth for skipping out on him…five times; five glorious times all in one day but that's irrelevant. I can't be silly with Sam and yet I don't have to be too serious with Jacob. Sam is serious, dependable, Quileute pride and suffers from 'daddy didn't love me enough' syndrome. Jacob is fun-loving, dependable, walking Tribe Pride poster star and has some weird, sick obsession with Bella Swan.

Sam did cheat on me.

But I cheated with Jacob.

Sam would much rather accuse me.

Jacob would much rather talk things out.

Sam admitted his faults.

Jacob ain't said a damn thing about the engagement ring.

So after a week of talking to myself and trying to hash this out I instead head over to the person who I probably should've married if I wasn't already too damn late…and the same gender – Rachel Meraz. I do question whether or not this is a good or a bad idea considering how Rachel is Jacob's sister yet she's also married to Sam's best friend, Paul. Becks moved away to Hawaii after getting married and trying to catch her has been unsuccessful. But I need either twin right now and Rachel is my best bet. Walking up to Rachel's front door I knock and rock back and forth on my heels casually. "Well, hello there, stranger." Rachel greets letting me in with a huge smile on her face.

"Rach, how's it going?" I ask her with a hug.

"I'm married." Rachel says dryly and I start laughing at her annoyed expression. "Are you sure you want to join me? Marriage ain't all it's cracked up to be." Rachel huffs as I follow her to the kitchen.

"Really? What's wrong with the sexy Paul?" I ask dripping sarcasm all over 'sexy'.

"Paul has been so busy comforting your Sam that he barely has time for me." Rachel huffs with a pout sticking out her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, Hun." I coo lightly patting her hand.

"Oh, that's a damn lie and we both know it." Rachel says quickly snatching her hand away and frowning at me. We look at each other for a moment before breaking out into laughter. "Alright, so what's going on between you two? Wait…let me get some coffee." Rachel says jumping up and grabbing two cups.

"Must we always talk over coffee?" I ask rolling my eyes. "Why don't we have tea? Or Sweet tea – vodka would be even better." I suggest my eyes lighting up.

"That's easy because it makes me feel as if I'm one up-ing my little brother." Rachel says bringing over the already made coffee pot and mugs. "He doesn't offer anyone anything except 'advice'." Rachel says rolling her eyes.

"He's studying to become a psychologist, Rach. It's pretty much what he wants to do for a living." I state trying to hold back my laugh. I swear I love every member of the Black family as if they were my own family. They all just crack me up; that and the twins are just as competitive as I am.

"Yea, yea whatever. Or would you prefer my wanna-be-Dr. Phil brother's, 'Sure, sure' instead?" Rachel says waving her hand dismissively at the thought of her brother. "Alright so let's get this started. Tell me what's been going on? Paul's got nothing or at least he's not spilling." Rachel says narrowing her eyes and looking away as if it's all some sort of conspiracy against her. "I'm in the dark."

"Well…," I say taking a deep breath. "You already know I walked out on Sam two weeks ago because he accused me of screwing Jacob." I start and tell Rachel about the whole conversation, the pot roast that she agrees should've been thrown at Sam while adding in that 'grit ball' would've been a nice touch. Which led us both off track because neither of us have ever had grits and I think that Rachel is watching too many of them Madea movies. "And so I went to go see Jake…and…I wound up – that is we wound up screwing one another." I say with a sigh feeling ashamed of myself – but only because I'd hate for a friend of mine to come over and talk to me about having sex with my little brother.

"I know that already; Jacob's already told me." Rachel says as my head quickly snaps up and I glare at her. She has the audacity to actually be smiling while giving me an innocent look. She already knew? Jacob told her?

"What?" I hiss.

"Yea, he dropped your dress off. I knew you two fucked…again. I also know that the two of you did it at least five times." My eyes widen at her bold desire to spread all of my business.

"Did Jake tell you that?" I ask leaning in holding my coffee mug tightly in between my hands. I swear to God if that man is walking around telling the entire fucking Rez that we've fucked each other; 6'7" my ass I will find a way to drop his ass. I didn't spend 7-years in mixed martial arts and 6-months of Billy Blanks Taibo for nothing.

"No, of course not." Rachel says shaking her head and paling as if the news coming from him would disgust her. "Quil and Daddy told me."

"Wh-what?" I choke out spitting my coffee all over the table as Rachel frowns at the mess.

"That's disgusting, Lee." Rachel says her nose crinkling.

"What the hell do Quil and Billy know?" I ask quickly getting up and grabbing a towel to clean up the mess. I swear one day I will gain control of my bodily functions around all the Black children…some day. "Or at least Billy?" I ask cleaning up the mess.

"You're not curious about Quil's insight?" Rachel asks mildly hurt by my lack of interest in her informants.

"Quil counts condoms." I state with a frown letting out a sigh. "I completely forgot that he bought that run down old truck from Old Mason about a month ago."

"Yea…you're right. Damn, I wanted to make you wiggle over that one." Rachel says biting the tip of her thumb with a smirk. "By the way you two owe him 2 condoms each. That fifth one was a freebie – I think it's supposed to be congratulatory or something."

"No, I don't owe him a damn thing. He's just going to chalk it up to one of his own success stories anyway. I'll tell him we're even." I state with a smirk sitting down now that my mess is cleaned up. "Billy."

"Apparently, it's hard to go fishing in a thunder storm." Rachel says and as my face grows longer as her smile only grows bigger.

"Fuck." I hiss burying my head into my arms across the table. I completely forgot that there was a chance that Charlie could've brought Billy back because of the thunderstorm. If he knows we did it in the shower…than he probably saw me streaking..? Where's the hole to swallow me up?

"Well isn't that what brought you here in the first place?" Rachel asks laughing at my word choice. "Oh, cheer up, Lee. It's not that bad." Rachel says as I bang my head against the table an absurd amount of times. Maybe I can give myself a concussion and this whole week will be wiped from my mind. I'll never remember screwing Jacob in the garage and the shower. I'll be completely ignorant and blissful.

"Alright…what do I do? I cheated on Sam thus making me no better than Emily."

"First, let me stop you right there." Rachel says holding up her hand. "You are better than Emily in that you didn't have to get yourself and Jake drunk in order to get laid." I frown because I don't see the upside in that statement. Getting drunk is a pretty decent excuse for doing something that you'd normally not do. I was completely sober. "You, my dear, naturally attract men, mainly my brother, to you like bees to honey. Your actions weren't pre-meditated like Emily who by the way has never deserved to be your maid of honor. Thus, why I am your better choice to be matron of honor for when you get married. Just throwing that out there." Rachel says and I roll my eyes. Ever since I picked Emily as my maid of honor Rachel has been out to get Emily because no one would've been or should've been a better choice than Rachel Meraz. Not that now in hindsight turns out she was right but we're getting off topic.

"Cheating is still cheating." I state shaking my head.

"Eh, but you love my brother and really can't help yourself." Rachel says shrugging her shoulders.

"I, I don't love Jake like that." I say with a heavy sigh shaking my head.

"Yea, yea you do." Rachel says nodding her head confidently. "You smile just saying his name." Rachel says pointing at me as if the evidence was right on my face. Oh shit! I was just smiling. "I don't know why you keep denying it."

"I love Sam though." I pout looking down at the table. Did that even sound confident?

"Yea, I know that too. But you're in love with Jacob. Sam is someone who you've grown to know and care about. But you don't feel the same way as you used to." Rachel says wisely for once not being smug or smiling at her words. She's being sincere.

"He loves Bella Swan still." I throw out resting my chin in the palm of my hand.

"The Swan girl? No, no he doesn't." Rachel says her eyes narrowing at me.

"He bought her an engagement ring." I whisper and this time it's Rachel who's choking on her coffee.

"Wait…wait what?" Rachel coughs out her eyes wide in disbelief. I nod my head and tell her about the proposal in the garage. "No…no, that can't be right." Rachel says shaking her head in disbelief. "He…he wouldn't have proposed to Bella…he couldn't have." Rachel says talking more so to herself than to me.

"He never mentioned the engagement ring to you?" I ask frowning because now this is all starting to sound a little odd.

"NO." Rachel snaps. "That little prick; what the hell does he think he's doing?"

"He's doing what he thinks best, I guess." I answer shrugging my shoulders. I really don't like dwelling on the Jake-Bella issue.

"But you do love him. Even as kids you loved him." Rachel says with a warm smile. "Make the decision that's right for you, Lee. Don't just marry Sam because you want to get married and the two of you 'get along'." Rachel says with a frown.

"Did you?" I ask her as she shakes her head.

"No, I didn't. Paul and I have had our problems and I know he's not the easiest guy to get along with. But I love him and he loves me. I'm his top priority and I know whenever I need him he'll always be there for me." Rachel says smiling lovingly. I can't help but return Rachel's smile because that's all I'm looking for. Rachel and I talk some more about what's going on with her, me, work, family, the wedding that will happen but just not as originally planned.

On my way home after spending hours talking and laughing with Rachel I start to think back on what Rachel said. It's true I've always loved Jacob Black. What wasn't there to love about him? He was just always the sweetest and cutest thing on the Rez. When I started noticing him as more than just as a friend it was already too late. I was with Sam and he was just hooking up with Bella Swan. He seemed to really like her and I didn't want to do anything to ruin a relationship that was just starting; so I said nothing. College made it even harder not to fall more in love with him because he was smart, clever, a great listener and an even better friend. Sam had stood me up, literally, one time too many and so I stopped arranging dates with Sam on Friday nights. Instead, I hung out in the game room to pass the time with some classmates and because there was also a real good chance that I'd see Jacob. I probably should've told Jake that I was the one blowing Sam off just so I could hang out with him but he'd mention Bella and I'd back off. Unlike some people I respect established relationships.

In the end, the truth of the matter is that I love Jacob and Sam. Maybe Jacob a bit more romantically and intimately than Sam…but it could just be because of how our relationship progressed. Jacob and I started off as friends and have spent many years on building up that friendship while Sam and I have dated. And those two do develop differently. Taking a deep breath I change my course deciding to make a change in my relationships. First, let's go with honesty.

Pulling up outside of Sam's I sigh seeing both Paul and Jared's cars in the driveway. Walking up I knock on the door and wait for Sam to open the door. When I do I'm greeted with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. "Leah." Sam breathes opening up the door and smiling down at me as if he doesn't believe I'm at the door. That's one of the reasons why I love Sam because sometimes he makes me feel like I'm the only woman he has eyes for. That and he's worked on the whole 'Lee-Lee' thing too.

"Hey Sam." I greet smiling weakly. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask and he quickly nods his head stepping aside to let me in.

"Hey Leah." Jared greets from the couch as Paul nods his head at me.

"Hey Jared. Hello Paul." I greet Jared warmly but my greeting to Paul is more along the lines of forced politeness; like Jerry Seinfeld with Newman.

"What's going on, Lee?" Paul asks narrowing his eyes at me.

"Nothing much. Just back from spending the whole afternoon with your wife. She misses you." I throw out and Paul's eyes widen as he turns to look at his watch.

"Shit. I gotta go." Paul says quickly jumping up and grabbing his jacket. "Sam I'll talk to ya later. Bye Jared." Paul calls out over his shoulder as he quickly heads towards his truck and home. Jared also seems to take the hint as he more calmly leaves giving me a quick hug on his way out. Do I know how to clear a room or don't I?

"Sit." Sam says motioning me to sit down on the couch.

"Sam…I've been doing a lot of thinking." I tell him and I notice him bite his bottom lip nervously.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Sam bellows and I swear for just a moment the picture frames on the walls shook with his shock, rage and disbelief. I can't help but sigh wondering why exactly I've decided to do any of this – oh, right. Rachel talked me into rethinking my whole relationships and figure out who I'm really in love with. Seeing Sam pacing back and forth mumbling and cursing to himself in both English and the old language makes me think that I should've started with Jacob. He's easier to handle. "I can't believe this, Leah." Sam says throwing a quick glance at me before continuing his pacing. Wow…no Lee-Lee this time? Means he's really upset with me. "I mean you told me,"

"I told you that I hadn't seen Jacob in months and that was true…at the time. I hadn't slept with Jacob for 6-months." I state to Sam with a deep sigh. There should be like a meeting like a J.A. group, Jacob Addicts. I can see it now…wait? Do I even want to picture a room full of women and even weirder men that are addicted to Jacob Black? I swear being a teacher and hanging around with kids most of the times is having an effect on my thoughts. But shaking that train of thought from my mind I turn my attention back to the matter at hand.

"Leah, how could you?" Sam asks finally stopping to look down at me. Looking up at him I'm surprised to see the look of hurt in his eyes. Seth was right when he said that I deserved better out of life – but so did Jacob and Sam. Sam's brow was furrowed with worry and his lips that are usually in a serious frown or hint of a goofy smile is turned down with a small frown. I hadn't noticed how tired and red his eyes were like he'd either been crying or hasn't been sleeping much. "Is, is this because…because of Emily?" Sam asks kneeling down before me and his eyes are searching; almost as if they are trying to penetrate my soul. "I know what I did with Emily was a horrible, horrible mistake, Lee-Lee." Sam says taking my hands into his and squeezing them.

"Sam?" Oh shit. I didn't do this because I wanted to hurt him.

"I love you, Lee-Lee. And I deserve this, I know. And you deserve better." My eyes widen at Sam's words and the sincerity in his eyes and voice. "I want to be the man to give you everything you deserve and more, Lee-Lee." I find myself biting my bottom lip trying to fight back the tears that are threatening to come out. Sam's never declared his love for me like this before. I mean he's said it but never with that look in his eyes as if I, "If you need time to work things out Lee-Lee then…that's okay with me." Sam says softly gently stroking my cheek. In that small gentle gesture the tears that I've been combating to hold back spill out.

"Oh, Sam," I breathe out leaning my cheek into his warm palm.

"Do you love me, Lee-Lee?" Sam asks leaning in closer as I bite my bottom lip tasting the salt from my own tears and the hint of his warm breathe on my face. I do love Sam but…there's something there with Jacob too. But Jacob's…well, he's my friend, my best friend in fact. "Lee-Lee?" Sam whispers softly lightly brushing his lips against mine. I can only nod my head letting out a small smile. "Say it, Lee-Lee." Sam whispers his voice sounding deep, husky and seductive.

"I love you, Sam." I tell him as I feel a ghost of a smile on his lips before he leans in and kisses me. It's a warm, deep and longing kiss that I soon pull away from before allowing Sam's tongue to caress my own. I hear him call out my name as his kisses travel down to my neck as he leans into me. "Sam, I love you, I do." I say sweetly letting out a soft squeak as I feel him nip at my collarbone. "But," I state leaning back and removing Sam's hands from my waist. I can only smile as Sam's hungry expression shifts back to confusion. "This thing with you and Emily,"

"Was a mistake." Sam says forcefully and I can hear the annoyance in his voice at having to be reminded of his transgression.

"And then there was this fling with Jacob that I had." I continue on letting him know that there's more to this than just me and him.

"But that's all it was, Lee-Lee. A fling." Sam says seriously his frown growing and his eyes darkening with frustration. "So…what now? Are you in love with Jacob Black or something?" Sam demands quickly releasing my hands and standing up and towering over me. I hate it when he tries to use his height against me. I sigh heavily feeling my frustration growing along with Sam's – I mean bi-polar much? One minute he's all understanding willing to give me space and the moment I don't just rip both of our clothes off to have mad, passionate sex with him; he's pissed.

"Sam, don't push me." I warn him vehemently remaining seated and glaring up at him. My original thought was to avoid both of them and try to figure out what it was that I wanted out of life; out of our relationships. Sam and I both have a tendency to let our emotions get the better of us and it's one of the things that have bonded us together. We can argue with one another; sure we get so pissed that one of us has a tendency to walk out just to cool down but we've always come back together and laughed about the whole situation. But that was years ago, when we were in high school even.

"Don't push you? What about me, Leah? What about us? We're supposed to be getting married this summer, remember?" Sam states as his hands begin to flail wildly. "I mean all the planning; the arrangements…you even have a dress for Christ's sake."

"It's off." I state bluntly and Sam freezes at my words. I can't marry Sam when I've just found out that Jacob loves me. As much as I'd like to avoid Jacob and pretend that our afternoon of passion never happened I know that I'd only be kidding myself. Besides this is a small reservation and 'avoiding' someone, especially Jacob Black, is foolhardy and unrealistic.

"Off? You're calling our wedding off?" Sam asks his head tilting to the side as if this new angle will help to bring everything into perspective.

"I'm sorry, Sam. But I just need time to think and figure this all out." I answer truthfully standing and holding my engagement ring out to Sam.

"You keep it." Sam says shaking his head and holding his hands up in refusal. "It's yours. And hopefully it'll remind you that you're the only woman for me." I smile warmly up at him because it's these small moments that make me remember why I fell for him in the first place. Wasn't just that height and the smooth copper skin.

"Thank you, Sam." I tell him holding the ring tightly in my hand before he pulls me into a tight hug.

Not finding much else to talk to Sam about for the moment I quickly gather a few things telling Sam that we'll stay in touch and 'who knows; maybe I'm just stalling for time to earn some more money for that gazebo I've always wanted'. Sam laughs at my small joke helping me box up a few things and it's just as I'm about to head out the door that he drops a major bombshell on me.

"You know…after you left me the first time I really lost it." Sam says causing me to freeze as I put the last box in my car. "I didn't know what I was going to do or how I could make all of this right." Sam says shrugging his shoulders as that glimpse of the sad and broken man makes his come back. "So…I went to go see Jacob." Sam says and my eyes narrow slightly. I didn't know that Jacob was helping Sam out at the time. "He gave me some advice telling me to give you some 'time' and to be patient with you. That if I gave you space and made you understand how sorry I was that you'd come back to me." Sam says and I can feel my lips tightening as I process Sam's words. "And then suddenly he just…stopped. He refused to give me anymore advice…and do you know why?" Sam asks snidely as he takes in a deep breath and crosses his arms. "Because by that time he was fucking you. Guess trying to help me win you back went against what he had going with you." I can't believe what Sam is telling me. "Just something to keep in mind when you go visit Jacob Black, Lee-Lee." Sam says letting slip a small smirk as he turns and heads back inside. That mutha-fucker.

A/N: Alright, so sorry about the delay but I wrote the top part first and realized that Rachel was completely RUINING the drama that I had planned. *shakes fist* Damn her sage advice. DAMN IT! *shakes fist harder* However…Sam was able to help me throw a wrench in the mix. Is he telling the truth? Or is he lying just to throw a wedge between our precious Blackwater? So Jake now not only has Sam mad at him – and for good reason. But also Rachel and Leah. Tsk, tsk, tsk. So thanks for reading…sighs. Curse you summer for taking away my reviewers who are most likely out in the sun which is why my number of reviews are dropping. But for those of you who have stuck around and make time for little old me. *bats eyelashes* I appreciate all of y'all SOOOO much! So I hope that you all have enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading and if you review you're awesome and make my day! ^-^