Chapter 10: Don't Make Me Angry
Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit fan based fiction of the Mega Man franchise owned by Capcom. Please support the official release.
Author's note: Feel free to track this story because unlike last time I'm going to stay with this story to the end, hopefully updating every week. Also, I do not condone hitting children unless it is particularly hilarious.
"And after I'm done stuffing your spear up the ass side of your pelvic plate I'm gonna rip both your arms out," roared Bass as he continued to stomp on what remained of Silver Man. (Yeah I skipped XP, thinking up fight scenes is way more effort than I feel like.) "Then I'm gonna fu-"
"Open fire on the Robot General stomping on that poor defenseless robot," cried a human resistance member who had just happened on the scene and mistook our hero for a Robot General.
"Human pig filth, do not interrupt me while I'm giving out threats unless you wish one upon your head," warned Bass as he turned to glare at the resistance member. A blast of energy passed by his head, it seems they were making crude makeshift busters.
"His visual sensors are damaged, he thinks we're pigs," whispered a hidden resistance member and all of a sudden that brought an onslaught of humans rushing out with wrenches and pips. Apparently they only had a few of those crude buster rifles.
"Oh dear lord this is pathetic," said Bass as he fired a warning blast right at the foot of the mob. "You have two seconds to get out of my site and take a shower before I shower this entire place with enough asteroids to leave a giant smoldering crater in an even bigger giant smoldering crater."
Unfortunately for Bass, he underestimated how desperate these people were and so he could not have predicted that his warning would have the exact opposite and before he knew it, every man woman and child was battering his armor with wrenches, pipes, wood, and stuffed animals. After deciding that he had had enough of this, which was coincidentally after one scuffed a fin on his head, Bass set his shielding prerequisites for melee attackers with a crowd control pulse. As soon as one of the humans attacked him there was a wave of electronic pulse that pushed every body back, some were thrown violently into walls, and others just fell on their ass. One little kid was still holding onto his helmet, bagging his head with what seemed like a small plastic hammer.
"How adorable," sighed Bass sarcastically as he grabbed the kid by the back of his shirt and tossed him absentmindedly to one of the human resistance members. "Now then, would you all like to try again? Next wave is electrical shock, so please do try if you ever wanted to see if electro-shock therapy is right for you."
"You're not with the other robots are you," asked one of the humans as he got up and started to look at Bass. He was in his late thirties, his face dirtied from having to hide in the ground and on his cheek there was a horizontal scar about two inches long.
"No, but don't think on some mercy mission to help you," replied Bass without any real emotion except burning hubris. "You seem to know your way around this hell-hole, where is Adamus? And before you ask, I'm not crazy, I'm just the best there is at what I do."
"Oh really and just what is that," asked the very same robot that they had been looking for, a face ominously displayed on the screen in dark crimson armor that looked like blood. His helm was done in the style of Greek warriors with horns sticking out of the forehead, long ones that were twisted and black. His face was very much pale with fine red lips stretched into a smirk that made Bass jealous, though he would never admit it. "You failed to be scrap Mega Man, though I do give you credit for taking out a good many of my generals, I now only have a hundred, though it still seems that you have found me yet."
"Then come on out so I can blow your head off you coward," cursed Bass as he flipped the bird as his opponent. "But I suppose a sissy, lipstick wearing blowhard like your self wishes only to give pretty speeches, tell me, is that why there is a paper shortage, you need to write down all these speeches that you're giving. You must not even expel excess oil waste without giving a speech about that."
"Enough of your impudence and vulgar gestures," barked the infamous Robot Lord as he waved his hand and the camera turned to face a scowling Roll who was trying to wrestle herself out of the grip of the robots that held her. "I believe you are looking for this gynoid, though I can see why, she does have a very cute face. Though I must admit, it is odd that someone who claims to be so perfect is not above the imperfect human desire for things of a sexual nature, and it is disturbing to say that I believe you might also be guilty of experiencing that human emotion of love."
"I will explain imperfection to you, you pompous, egotistical, ignorant fool," spat Bass who was now angry at the way Adamus's hands were touching his Roll's cheeks and he did not like it when anyone dared to point out whatever they deemed as a flaw to him. "Things that are flawed are things that I do not do because I am the one perfect constant in this world, do you hear me. I could rape and destroy the entire human infant population and it would not in any way be morally or logically wrong. Do you get that you flashy pretentious prick? I can do no wrong! As to everything, it is perfect or imperfect based upon whatever judgment I give it.
"I decide what is and what is not perfect because I am the perfect constant in this world, despite the fact that inferior beings jealously believe otherwise. For example, that 'gynoid' as you so stupidly called her, is perfect in both form and her spirit. The hand that dared to stroke the cheek of said 'gynoid' was imperfect and committed the heinous act of trying to touch something better than it as if it belonged to it.
"Further more, the mouth that dares to address me as if I am the inferior one, an act that warrants destruction alone, dares to call her with the imperfect name, 'gynoid.' Being that she is perfect you should know, despite the great ignorance that you have been afflicted with, that to call her by an imperfect name is not only incorrect logically, but it shows the greatness of your ignorance. Whenever you refer to the one you dared to call, 'gynoid,' you will call her by her perfect name, 'Roll.'Have I instructed you enough on perfection? Good, because I'm going to find you, even if I have to gun down the last of your hundred generals, whom I'm sure are all of good a quality as the other hundred, and then I'm going to rip every single piece of scrap metal off your body, save for your head. Your head shall be mounted on a plaque on my wall with the lettering 'the face of true failure.'"
"You have quite a mouth on you, little fly, but I think I'll see just how perfect this 'Roll' is," said Adamus, a wicked leer on his face as he walked behind Roll and placed his hand on his shoulders and licked his lips. The implication was not lost.
"Adamus, don't make me angry," warned Bass as the dark energy began to spin around his body, "you will not survive me being angry."
"I'd hurry if I were you, otherwise I might began to dissecting this little one," taunted Adamus as he began to pat her head. "Of course that would be after I getter a closer inspection of her form. After all, such desires are not beneath me as well. Hehehehe. Cut transmission!"
"Son of a bitch," cursed Bass loud enough to rise to the heavens, the dark energy completely surrounding him and it was pulsing like the veins that would be in his forehead if he were human. He turned to the human resistance member who had addressed him before. "You're going to show me where I can find this Adamus and I'm going to wipe him out. Do you understand me or do I have to tear through you all to find someone who does because I can assure you, it will be just as easy as tissue paper."
Roll didn't know what they were going to do to her, but so far being captured wasn't so far. Her room was a lot better than the places she had slept at before and she was being served oil routinely so she didn't have to worry about her energy needs, but she still hated being caged like that. Though most of what she did for Dr. Light was help out with maintenance and cleaning, but she didn't mind doing it because it was all her decision. Sometimes she wished that she could be out there helping her brother Rock, but instead she stayed on the sidelines to help him out in other ways like making sure the teleportation device was working, less Mega Man find himself in multiple places. Now she got her chance to fight in the big time, she just has to get captured.
"Hey, creampuff, get up," said one of the guards. At the mention of the word cream puff she had hoped it was Bass come to rescue her, but it wasn't and she felt crummy getting her hopes up.
"Could you not call me that," replied Roll as she stood up from her bed grumpily. She was wondering why she had hoped it was Bass and not Rock. It was probably recognition of the name that Bass had used for her, something about it had become somewhat endearing from him, but if anybody else called her that she had a problem.
God I must be getting desperate for me to hope that he'll come to my rescue. Still he is cute, when he's not trying to destroy stu-…so he's basically cute when he's unconscious. Though he does have a handsome look to him despite the egotistical airs that he puts on and he does have some form of kindness and honor in him. He isn't all that bad, plus he seems to be the only good looking robot that I'm not related to. When did my options for boyfriends become so appallingly low. Oh that's right, they were always this low, I'm just realizing it.
"Hey, prisoner 627, are you going to cry or get moving," said the guard as he opened the door and came in. He grabbed her roughly by the arm.
"Go screw yourself," she said as he she kicked him right in the bundle of nerves that was where the right thigh and pelvis met.
"You stupid bitch, how bout I screw you," cursed the guard as he raised his baton, only to stop when he saw a large figure in the doorway.
"That is no way to treat our prisoners," said Adamus as he walked in, his impressive bulk and height made the room seem a lot smaller by comparison. "Bring her, I must make a statement to a very troubling Robot Master in Time Square."
"In broad daylight, the impudence," gasped the guard as he dragged Roll along.
"Indeed, but he is hampering my operations by looking for me so if I must deal with thorn in my side it would be best for me to do it as soon as possible," declared the Robot Lord as he walked into what appeared to be a throne room with multiple cameras running. "Now then, patch us into the big tvs at Time Square, this is an official announcement. I also wish to have a visual of Time Square."
Wait, Bass is here, is he looking for me, thought Roll as she began to see a large screen light up with an image of Bass in the middle of a crowd of humans that were holding weapons. Thankfully he didn't kill them eh merely knocked them back with something. Well it's good to know that he does have some concept of the word restraint, so I don't have a crush on a complete sociopath. Maybe not a sociopath but he definitely has a ego that could crush Gutsman. But at the same time, I do like him…a lot, but does he feel the same way about me. Can he feel that way about me? I could have fallen for some other Robot Master, maybe Fireman, but no I had to fall with Bass. Right now I just hope he doesn't get himself hurt…I guess I can only hope he sticks around for me to get to know him better.
She heard Adamus's remarks to Bass and she felt a distinct shiver run down her back when he started to stroke her cheek, his smirk becoming very creepy, nothing at all like the cocky ones that Bass gave. And speaking of cocky she nearly laughed at Bass remarks to Adamus being egotistical. Pot meet Kettle. Then he said words that made her feel all warm inside despite the downright creepiness of Adamus. He had called her perfect, he had gone a rant not on just himself alone but he had devoted half of it to her, despite the fact that he referenced himself with his remarks. He'd even called her by her name and not creampuff, but Roll. That is probably the first time he has ever talked about anything else positively or referred to something that has nothing to do with him as perfect and it was me he was talking about. Does this mean he…might like me?
"You have quite a mouth on you, little fly, but I think I'll see just how perfect this 'Roll' is," said Adamus, a wicked leer on his face as he walked behind Roll and placed his hand on his shoulders and licked his lips. The implication was not lost.
Oh god, please don't tell me he's a womanizer, thought Roll as she shivered under his touch. Then she saw Bass eyes turn to her and he gave her a nod, almost as if he were saying to her that it was going to be alright. She nodded back showing she understood and their eyes met. God he's got beautiful eyes. Her heart sank a bit after Adamus's last creepy words and she prayed that bass would get there soon.
Author's Note: Well there you have it True Believers, will Bass get to Roll in time. Can he defeat the awesome might of Adamus? Is this really Stan Lee writing this last bit or is the writer hallucinating? The answers to all that and more in the next chapter. Except for that last one, he is hallucinating.
Bonus bit: I had originally planned to publish this in time for Thanksgiving but because I had a lot of work to do I couldn't.
Bass: You mean you finally got Killzone 2?
Author: Don't make me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry.
Bass: I don't like you ever pig filthy.
Author: Human's are not pigs. Anyway enjoy this short bit of Thanksgiving in the future.
"Alright men and Roll, now before we eat our Thanksgiving meal, I've prepared a speech for us all," said Beat as he stood at the head of the table. Sitting at the table, all dressed nicely was Bass with his white hair, Roll, in her right for any occasion red dress, Rock, dressed in blue denim that matched his blue hair, and Blues who had on a charcoal grey shirt and dark blue pants. Both went with his black hair.
"Come on can we just eat," whined Roll who was starving like a kid in a third world country. "I'm hungry."
"Oh yes so we can all watch the spectacle that is a black hole," said Bass as he smoothed out his black shirt that went with his black jeans.
"Are you calling me fat, emo boy," cried Roll as she gave Bass her best I'm-a-cut-you-ho look. Only Bass would pick a fight with Roll, it was probably the reason they were sitting together and dating. "I mean who has white hair and dresses in all black."
"Who wears all red and is a blonde, then again," retorted Bass with a sly smirk on his face.
"Now calm down, I just want to make a note on the momentous occasion by preparing foods of Thanksgiving tradition," said Beat. "Although the exact details have been lost I managed to find documents on the internet that all seemed to be written by third graders and came with depictions of their favorite meal, severed hands that have been decorated like birds."
The plated that contained these severed hands was placed in the middle of the table, amidst astonished faces that began to turn pale. Each hands was decorated in with multicolored feathers and posed to look like birds.
"I'm not hungry anymore," said Roll."
"Uh..Beat, people ate turkeys not hands, the kids just drew turkeys using their hands to trace," said Bass.
"Where did he get the hands," said Rock, who looked mortified by the spectacle and thoughts of how Beat had gotten those hands.
"What gave them that idea, a turkey looks nothing like the human hand," said Beat as he scratched his head.
"I believe their teacher told them," replied Blues as he started wiping his shades with a napkin.
"Seriously, where did he get the hands," asked Rock again, this time louder.
"What, hand shaped turkeys, it's no wonder we lost the literacy wars," said Beat. "I guess there other facts might be wrong."
"You group of nine year old scholars might be wrong," laughed Roll, "yeah I think you might want to fact check that. What else did they say?"
"They said that Thanksgiving was the time when the pokemon taught the Jedi how to farm," said Beat as he read from one of the historical documents that was seemed to be written in crayon.
"Somewhat close, but no, this was the time when the Native Americans and the Pilgrims sat down together in friendship," said Blues.
"Right before they gunned them down," said Bass as he began to eye Rock with mischievous eyes.
"No you don't, not unless you want to spend the night on the couch," said Roll as she crossed her arms.
"What, you've been sleeping with my sister," exclaimed Blues. At this time Rock couldn't take anymore and slammed his hands on the table.
"WHERE DID HE GET THE HANDS?"
Author: Have a happy thanksgiving!
The Cast: You're late!