Christmas Special part 2: Where did he get the hands?
Author's Note: Since I cannot get the next chapter out as soon as I would like I have instead decided to give all my fans those who read this story something nice for Christmas for supporting me with inspiration and for encouraging me to keep this story alive. I hope you all enjoy this present.
Bass woke up early in the morning to get in a run, keep himself in shape like he always did, not that he needed it, his cybernetic body kept him at tip top condition, but he did so that he could maintain the mental discipline that had gotten him through so many things. He never yawned because he rarely felt sleepy; the condition of sleepy was something that the weak did like that little blue dweeb Rock or his emo pansy of a brother Blues. Of course Blues would never accept the challenges for combat and only seemed to want to do anything when it involved his family of which Bass was now considered to be a part of. The father is ridiculously old, the youngest son acts like he was born only five years ago and the eldest brother is into that harmony with nature bullshit that seemed to be spreading to the dweeb.
"Maybe it's like a sexually transmitted disease and they're banging each other," mused Bass before he clutched his head in horror and revulsion. "No! What have I done? The mental images! They burn in my skull!"
"What mental images are you thinking of," asked Roll as she skied down right next to where he was. She was dressed in the tight ski clothing that really hugged her nice round ass and her almost flat chest. God she knew what clothing would get him riled up and she always made sure to dress in it.
"Nothing it was just something that you probably wouldn't want to think about either," replied Bass as he started walking on, running his hand through his white hair, as his breath blew out with white smoke in the chilly atmosphere. If there was one good thing to be said about this place Dr. Light had picked, despite the incessant festive jolliness it was that ran rampant throughout the area, was that it was a tough environment with the harsh cold that could freeze a human in fifteen minutes at night unless they properly suited up. "Let's just say that I thought of something I shouldn't have involving your two brothers."
"What you mean you've found their yaoi fan shrine," asked Roll as she arched one eyebrow at Bass. "Just what are you doing looking those two up?"
"No I didn't find nor look for such things," replied Bass as he snarled a bit, but quickly softened his face as he saw how Roll seemed a bit frightened at the way he snapped back. He didn't like frightening her, maybe everybody else but never Roll. He opened his mouth to word an apology, but something popped into his head. "Wait, how the hell do you know there is such a thing? And more importantly why did that thought pop into your head instantly when I mentioned that the disturbing images concerned your two brothers?"
"Oh no reason at all, I just…I don't know why I thought that maybe I was overhearing Rock or Blues complain about it," lied Roll quite poorly as she walked off a bit embarrassed and a deep scarlet was peering over her face. Damn he loved her in red.
"Please don't tell me you expect me to believe that," said Bass before another realization appeared in his head. "Oh my god! You sick moo cow!"
"What I only sold some pictures that looked questionable and maybe sold a fan fic or two, but that was only to buy certain things," cried Roll as she tried to defend herself which was hard seeing as how she had just admitted to promoting the idea that her two brothers were closer than brothers. "I didn't mean to, but I needed the money to buy your gift!"
"You lie! You said that we weren't getting gifts for one another!"
"I only said that because I didn't need another sword," replied Roll. "I mean do you know how many swords I have? And what use could they possibly be to me, the most dangerous thing is made out of layers of metal, what the hell am I going to use a sword for? You didn't even give me one of those new weapons or one of the data weapons from another Robot Master!"
"I'm terrible with getting gifts, I'll admit that, but I swear to you that this Christmas I'll get you something that you'll like, I swear it," said Bass as he started to run off into the cold morning of Christmas Eve with a look of determination on her face.
"Bass is running loose with a mission on his mind, this will not end well," said Roll as she rubbed her brow with her hand. "I better go see how things are going in preparing Christmas dinner."
Bass nearly knocked over a group of skiers and punched out a polar bear that thought he was intruding on his kill. PETA would definitely be busting down the author's door if word of this got out, but it wasn't any of his concern, he had more important things to take care of. There was a quiet little town nearby that had a store that Roll had wanted to stop by but Bass had to move on because it was getting late and if he didn't reach the place soon he was going to strangle Rock. He slid down the hill that led to the town to himself right in front of the store, but he had misjudged how slippery the ground and knocked over the person who was coming out. They tumbled into the room, Bass and the stranger, and wound up with Bass on the ground with the stranger on top of him.
"Bass, what the hell," exclaimed Rock as he looked at Bass quite exasperated by the ordeal, but he soon blushed as he realized what position they were in and got off. "Augh! What the hell man!"
"I slid and your stupid ass was in the way," said Bass as he got up and dusted himself off, refusing to be embarrassed by anything, the greatest warrior in the world was not going to blush no matter what. Not even if Roll showed up in that skimpy red dress she always wore and started bending over…god damn it!
"Oh my god this is so awesome," cried a bubbly feminine voice as a camera went off, capturing the image of Bass blushing with a flustered Rock. "This is going on the website!"
"I don't think so," said Bass as he reached over and snatched the camera out of the girl's hand. "This is staying with me," said Bass as he started looking around. "Where the hell is the owner of this store?"
"You're looking at her, handsome," said the girl as she looked at Bass with hungry eyes. "What can I help you and your partner out with? Gifts for each other?"
"…I'm sorry that entire thought process was wrong," said Bass as he pointed at Rock. "I'm not shopping for that gender confused dweeb. I came here to finally buy a gift my girlfriend will like so show me something you'd think a nineteen year old girl with the interests of a thirteen year old girl."
"Aw, that is so sweet and somewhat disappointing," said the girl before she got from behind the counter and looked at Rock with a renewed hunger. "And who are you shopping for, cutie?"
"Well…you see I-I'm shopping for my sister, Roll," said Rock a bit embarrassed by this sort of attention as he rubbed the back of his head. "She's his girlfriend so we are both looking for the same thing. I don't know what tools to get her this year?"
"Oh, you are just so cute," said the girl before she was cut off by a cough from Bass.
''Now then can we get back to more important matters before we get back to girl time," said Bass as he rubbed his temples. This is going to be a looooong Christmas Eve.
"Shenlong would you please come down from there, this is a really bad idea," shouted Roll to a very stubborn and completely psychopathic author who was bolting light on top of Christmas light to the walls and the shingles of the cottage that they were staying at. "You don't have to try and be the brightest cottage in the community, hell you're competing with a cottage that is over a mile away!"
"And he be able to see my victory ten miles away," snapped Shenlong as he continued his madness, stapling out the etchings of a Santa Claus into the roof. "I want this place so bright you can see it from all the way in outer space! This will be the Christmas that goes down in history as the day in history in which we communicated to the aliens with Morse code and they replied, 'turn your fucking lights off!'"
"Shenlong, why don't you come in, drink some warm eggnog and sing a few Christmas carols," offered Roll as she started to climb up the ladder.
"I can sing Christmas carols from here," shouted Shenlong before he started singing from a genre on the far end of the spectrum from Christmas carols.
"You need a uniform!
So you won't be ignored!
You are affected!
So you're accepted!
It's time you invested in a bottle of poison!
So we don't have to hear about you bitchin' and moanin'
You think that you could afford a bottle of aspirin?
Boo hoo you're life's not the only one who's life's a fucking piece of shit
Yet somehow miraculously we all somehow deal with it
Did anybody think that you would seriously slit your wrist?
In fact I think everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit!"
"That is not a Christmas carol," scolded Roll as she smacked him on the back of the head.
"It is where I come from," retorted Shenlong as he lid down the ladder to start plugging the light sockets into outlets at a maddening pace.
"Well here, in normal sane society we try not to act as if we are sane," explained Roll as she started climbing down the ladder only to see Shenlong go flying into a large group of snowmen. He'd been blown back by the electrical overload of so many lights and might have been killed. "And this si the guy who got me and Bass together…Beat fix me a glass of eggnog, I'm gonna need some now."
"I'm fine, just a little burnt is all," said Shenlong as he got back up and put out the fire on his chest leaving him in…well shirtless. "I'll need a shirt and some more lights."
"Shenlong give up, it's over," pleaded Roll as she tried to drag him away from the ladder.
"Nothing is over," shouted Shenlong before he was knocked out by Bass who had approached with a somewhat large package in his hand wrapped up in lovely red wrapping paper and a red bow on it.
"I'm back."
It was a beautiful Christmas morning with the sunlight playing off the white sheen of the snow and there seemed to be a nice peaceful sound coming from the animal life, as if everything was gay and cheerful. Definitely is gay outside and inside, thought Bass as he was woken up from his standby mode from a violent shake from Rock who was laughing happily. Must..resist..urge…to…kill…Too…great…urge …to..kill…rising! Bass was almost about to strangle him except Roll was tugging him away and sending him along with a playful swap at his butt that seemed all too motherly. Please dear god don't make me have to become a second father figure! I do not need that much shit! He got up to get dressed in something presentable and take a shower to clean off his body from whatever dirt was in the snow. As he walked down he saw that people were all at the table drinking some warm coffee except for Shenlong who was snuggled into a straight jacket festively colored red and Dr. Light who was nowhere to be found oddly. That wasn't surprising but something about the color made him appear a bit creepy.
"Wow, look at all the presents," exclaimed Rock as he dived into the pile, organizing presents to each one. "Santa Claus came here, there are some for you Bass."
"What, Santa got me something this year," asked Bass as he put his hands up defensively. "Be careful it might blow up!"
"Okay how naughty have you been, should I know something," asked Roll as she put her hand on her hips. "What the hell have you been doing behind my back? You're not cheating on me are you?"
"God no, I'd never do that," exclaimed Bass as he put his arm on her shoulder. "But you know I've never been a good person and I've never received anything from Santa on Christmas so I just assumed it was a bomb."
"Wait, you still believe in Santa Claus," asked Roll in a quiet whisper so that Rock didn't hear her.
"You mean Santa's not real," asked Bass as he stared at her with shocked eyes that had lost whatever was left of childlike innocence.
"No, no he's real, I just thought you were one of those who thought he wasn't real so that was why you didn't get them," said Roll really quickly before pushing him towards the presents. "Why don't you be nice and hand them out and then open your presents, they might be something good."
"Alright come on let's eat," called Beat as he set out the food plates as everyone's faces went stone cold. "What?"
"Who the hell let you cook," asked Bass as he started call up his armor. "You cooked those disgusting hand things for Thanksgiving!"
"Oo I love those," said Shenlong as he jerked around in his chair.
"You see Dr. Light agreed that we, Shenlong and I, could make meals based on our culture," replied Beat as he opened a platter with an actual turkey on it. "This time I got it right, but for anyone who missed those I got severed human hands that have been decorated like birds."
The entire room stopped for a moment to let that sink in along with the eerie fact that Dr. Light was indeed not there.
"Where did you get the hands," asked Rock quietly, shakily.
"Well you see I had to prep them for so long getting them seasoned right," explained Beat.
"Where did you get the hands?"
"Ha ha ha ha ha," laughed Dr. Light as he came out, almost looking like Santa Claus in his bright red sweater. "Christmas fools!"
"You bastard," cried Shenlong as he got out of the straps of the straight jacket and placed another dish on the table. "Well you're all in for a treat because I've made some of my grandmother's favorite 'hair pie.'"
"You are going to have to explain that one to me," said Bass as he looked at the "hair pie" as it was called.
"My grandmother would make her hair pie and give it to all the soldiers returning from the war," explained Shenlong as he started to put some on plates. "It made her the most popular girl in town. She never told me the recipe so I had to make a few guestemations."
"Son I'm afraid I'm going to have to explain something to you about a few things of the culinary arts and some things you should already know," said Dr. Light as he put his hand on Shenlong's shoulder and spoke with him away from the table.
"So Bass you never gave me my present," said Roll as she moved closer with a playful look on her face, her red dress was very festive and Bass thought a lot shorter than her regular stuff. "And I didn't show you my gift."
"Well I got you this," said Bass as he handed her the same red box that he had been carrying yesterday. She delicately opened the box hoping she didn't have to pretend to like it again.
"Oh my god it's beautiful," said Roll as she looked at the large snow globe with a bear holding a red heart decked in lovely silver with a special inscription. "'Here is something that belongs to you eternally.' I love it, it's the best gift I ever got."
"So where is my gift," asked Bass as he looked at her with a smirk on his face only for her to lean towards him and whisper in his ear, "you have to come unwrap it first."
She ran off towards her room with a smile on her face and the skirt was hiking up to show some interesting looking lingerie. The best Christmas I ever had.
"What? Grandma noooooo!"
"And don't get me started on the gobble gobble."
Author's note: Wow this is 3:57 on Christmas Morning and I'm in a mad rush to finish. I hope it wasn't terrible because of that and you all enjoyed it. In the words of a wise man, Merry Christmas to all and to all Shut the hell up. Just kidding, have a happy Christmas or Hannekah!