Hank was released from the hospital three days later. Two months later he was cleared to return to work. Nervous the night before going back he spent the evening pacing the house. Displaying a nervous energy he never shown before going back to work after an injury.
"Hey, what's wrong" inquired Emily, "I thought you were anxious to get back to work?" as she watched him make laps throughout the house wringing his hands. She'd not seen this type of anxiety and nervousness displayed by her husband since the birth of their children.
"I am just a little nervous, but I really don't know why Em" he said in passing, "I just can't put a finger on it."
"Why don't you sit down and try to relax before going to bed?"
"Aw Em, I don't think I can sit still long enough let alone try to sleep" replied an exasperated Hank.
"Come on now, give it a try" coaxed Emily.
Hank followed his wife's advice and tried to lie down and get some sleep, but sleep did not come easy for some reason. Emily tried rubbing his back to help him relax but even that seemed to have little effect. Morning finally dawned and Hank was up taking a shower while Emily fixed his breakfast.
"You didn't get much sleep did you?" asked Emily, knowing that he spent most of the night tossing and turning.
"No, I swear I barely fell asleep before the alarm went off" yawned a sleepy Hank.
"What's bothering you is there something wrong I can help you with?" Emily asked searching his face for answers.
"I don't think anything in particular is the matter, must be the excitement of getting back to work."
Hank and Emily ate breakfast without talking while she tried to find the answer to what was bothering him so much that he couldn't or wouldn't discuss it with her. It wasn't like him to be like this, they had always talked things out in the past.
Pulling into the side driveway to the parking lot, Hank looked at the office area. He had a flashback of what had happened two months prior. As he parked his truck, the vague memory of that day caused him to break out into a cold sweat and his
hands began to shake.
What in the world is wrong with me he thought to himself? This behavior is totally unacceptable for a captain. I've got to get myself together before someone sees me like this. What are the odds of this ever happening again? This is so ridiculous to even think about it happening again.
Hank sat in his truck, put his head back and closed his eyes for a few brief moments trying to shake that memory from his thoughts and clear his mind of it once and for all. He was hoping no one would see him like this, a nervous wreck for no reason so un-captain like in his mind. Just then a vehicle pulled in beside Hank.
"Cap, are you alright?" asked a puzzled Stoker getting out of his car trying to understand what his captain was doing just sitting there so pre-occupied in thought.
"Oh…um… yeah Mike, I'm fine just thinking to myself" Cap replied hoping Stoker hadn't noticed his problem.
"You sure ya feel alright, you look a little pale" Stoker countered still looking at his captain closely for any more signs of distress.
"Yeah, yeah I'm sure I'm okay. It's nothing"
Hank got out of his truck and along with Stoker headed off into the kitchen through the back door. Hank still looking a little pale and feeling a little jittery around the edges.
"Hey, welcome back Cap" Roy cheerfully spoke up as he entered the kitchen. "Glad to have ya back!"
"Thanks Roy, glad to be back" Hank replied smiling.
The A-shift gang gathered around their Captain welcoming him back as well as the off-going C-shift.
"How about a cup of coffee Cap?" asked Johnny as he poured himself one.
"Not right now, thanks John" Cap replied. He was afraid someone would notice his shaking hands.
Hank managed to get through roll-call without anyone really noticing his discomfort. He handed out the day's assignments and headed off to the bunkroom for the first time to be alone with his thoughts. Roy and Mike looked at each other each wondering what was going on with the man. It was so unlike Cap to go to the bunkroom after the assignments instead of joining the men in the kitchen discussing the events and escapades of their days off.
Hank walked into the bunkroom. He slowly sat down at the desk there and placed his elbows on the desk and buried his head into them as thoughts of that fateful day drifted in and out. It was as if that day was happening over and over in his mind. He was deep in thought when his two senior crew members walked in quietly.
"Cap, are you ok?" asked Mike quietly standing in the doorway.
"Co…Come in" Hank stuttered, caught off-guard by the intrusion.
Mike Stoker and Roy DeSoto were really curious, wanting to find out what was eating at their normally outgoing Captain.
Mike started off first, "what's going on Cap? You seem so pre-occupied this morning."
"It's…it's really nothing" Cap sighed. Hoping the answer would suffice and they would leave him alone.
"No Cap it's not" Roy countered, "something's really buggin you, we've never seen you act like this."
"Like what? What are ya talking about? There's no problem. I don't have a problem" Cap spit out, not looking at them.
"You look like you've seen a ghost, you seem really uptight and nervous" Mike commented hoping to draw what the problem was.
"Look, it's really nothing" Hank quietly said. "There's really no problem. I… I just need some time..."
"Cap, we can both see something is really troubling you, now come on let us help" Roy said looking at him straight in the eye.
Hank looked around making sure no one else was in earshot of them. He motioned for them to sit down on the edge of the nearest bunk.
Looking at them both, "Guys look, I appreciate your concern, but really there's nothing wrong" Hank sighed trying to end this conversation right there once and for all.
"Cap, we know there's something eating at you since you got in this morning, you're not acting like yourself" Roy observed.
"Have you been over to the office to see how they fixed it up yet?" Mike inquired, thinking he knew where the problems lie.
"Well…ah…umm…No, no I haven't" Cap hesitantly replied. "I'll go over in a little while."
Sensing that they had finally zeroed in on the problem, Roy and Mike both got up and went over to their Captain and gently put their hands on his shoulders.
"C'mon, let's go over there and see how they've fixed it up" Roy softly urged, "It'll be okay. We'll go with ya. No one will know what's going on."
Just then the tones went off for a car fire. Everyone ran to the equipment, cap acknowledged the dispatch and handed Roy a copy of the run ticket as he jogged over to take his place on the engine. About an hour later, everyone was back at the station. Marco was busy getting lunch ready as the rest of the guys worked on their cleaning assignments. All except Roy and Mike who were standing beside the engine quietly whispering back and forth plotting together on how to help Cap deal with his problem.
Watching Hank as he left the kitchen, Roy and Mike couldn't help notice the hesitation as he headed over towards the office. He stopped just short of the door, face turning pale and he started to turn back towards the bay but was stopped by his engineer and paramedic. Each gently taking an arm and guiding him towards the office.
"Cap, there's nothing to be nervous of" Roy softly spoke. "We'll come in and help you fill out your run report."
The three men walked into the office, Hank looking around at the new office layout. He was still feeling a little odd, unsure about being back in the place that nearly ended his career just two months prior. Hank slowly sat down at his desk still feeling unsettled. Roy and Mike sat at the other desk watching their Captain in silence.
"Well it does look a little better" remarked Hank as he looked around at the new furniture and shelves. He finished his report while Roy quietly left leaving Mike remaining.
"Hey Cap, did ya see what they've done outside?" inquired Mike as Hank filed the finished report.
"No, no I haven't, didn't notice anything different when I pulled in this morning." Mike got up and he and Hank headed out the glass door.
"These concrete pylons ought to keep about anything from getting in there now" Stoker pointed out, "The Chief wanted something installed to prevent another accident like that from happening again."
Hank felt a sense of relief wash over him. The pylons were about three feet tall and six inches in diameter spaced around the office area so that no vehicle could get between them and into the building. McConnike and the building maintenance group worked together to come up with this idea and want to put these at other stations that were in need of them. The rest of the shift, Hank seemed more at ease being back at work and the fear of what had happened two months ago started to seem more like a distant memory.