CHAPTER XII
And so, scarce four weeks after they had first learned of the army amassing at their border, the king and the queen returned to the goblin city. The oathbound who had joined them in battle had gone back to their villages and farms, and the warrior mages from Annwyn and Danu had returned to their posts along the borders, so it was only a few hundred people who accompanied the king and queen. And while they had won the battle, the threat of the man without a name was still hidden, and the price they paid for their victory had been high, for they had lost more than a tenth of their own.
Sarah took to her rooms and did not leave them for weeks, and Eek never strayed from his queen's side. In all this time she would only see her goblins and refused any visitors. When finally she did emerge from her seclusion, her chocolate-brown hair was touched with white, like hoarfrost, and her fire was quenched. The goblin queen began to tend to her duties quietly, and she did not join the war council any longer. Yet she took over many meetings in the goblin city, some of which the goblin king had no time to attend, and others where the goblin queen's presence would be an asset. She even began to join the audiences with the delegations from the other demesnes in the goblin kingdom. And if the queen was quiet and restrained, her occasional questions showed a keen understanding of the matters at hand, but she never offered her opinions nor joined in any decisions Jareth made. And if there was a banquet or a ball, Sarah would show up without fail, garbed in the glorious robes of the goblin queen, and if she was not as lively or witty as she had been, neither was she as short-tempered and opinionated. She was gracious to a fault to all who talked to her, and finally even flirted delicately with the many smitten courtiers who flocked about. Tiernan was foremost among them, his obvious admiration well noted at court, as was the queen's easy manners and teasing familiarity, and many looked at him with envy. Yet none of them seemed to realize that the goblin queen's heart was frozen and void of feeling, and she cared naught about any she spend time with.
And even though Sarah did not concern herself any more with the war in her waking hours, from the darkness of her dreams her pain unknowingly protected her people still. Every night a fog the color of dried blood rose from the Haliakmon, the Naryn and all other rivers and lakes in the goblin kingdom, and as it drifted slowly over the land, it brushed the minds of the oathbound and the peaceful denizens of the goblin kingdom with a fleeting memory of love and loss. Yet when it touched on the presence of any who acted to harm the labyrinth and its people, the darkness enveloped its hapless victim in ever thickening tendrils of congealing fog. For a few short days, lifeless bodies of what had seemed to be but harmless foreign travelers or traders would be found in road side camps and inns, their open eyes staring in terror at their death, but soon any who still lived had fled the goblin kingdom, never to return. Yet Sarah never knew what she had wrought, and had she known she would not have cared.
And so Sarah walked like a shadow in her own life, and nothing she did mattered enough to leave a trace in her mind. There were only a few things in her grey days that touched her heart any longer, and unknowingly she clung to them. She still made time for her sword training in the morning with Eirlys, both of them quiet and withdrawn, and if the women did not talk much, their urgency and desperation saw the queen's fair abilities with weapons improve rapidly. And without fail she spent time every day with Toby, and they would sit and talk about nothing or be quiet together, or they would fly over the goblin kingdom . Sometimes they would spar with each other, and their loss took form as they attacked each other with all the fury and pain in their hearts.
The changes in the goblin queen did not go unnoticed. At the glittering Imbolc ball Sarah was in attendance, resplendent in a kirtle of pale green silk, like the first spring leaves of a birch tree, laced close to her body over a primrose-yellow chemise of the finest silk under an embroidered tabard, her head crowned with a wreath of cherry and almond blossoms, and as she danced gracefully with the lord Hurin from Matagamon, all smiles and human allure, the lord Tiernan turned to his brother.
"I believe despite all the sad occurrences of the past months, something good has come of it after all. Lady Sarah is shaping up to be a very creditable queen, don't you think, Jareth? She reminds me of mother, if this can be said of a human woman. It seems she finally understands that there are limitations to what she can do, and that it is better to leave the tough work in the hands of men who know what they are doing. It is a pity that it took the death of her guard to teach her, but it is her own fault. She should not have been there, playing at being a warrior queen of old. She has calmed down and finally behaves with the decorum that behooves a lady. The court is enchanted with her, have you noticed?" He drank deep from his glass of fire wine and looked at Jareth with a grin. "But she seems to have gone off you, brother, she won't even get angry with you any more, much less smile. Do you mind if I court the lady? She would be a helpmeet any man would be glad to call his own, and as all humans she is most alluring. Yet I will not poach in your reserve, brother. What do you say?"
Jareth looked at his brother with wry amusement. "The lady Sarah is not mine to keep or give away, Tiernan, and far be it from me to stand in your way. And while I cannot understand why you would court a human woman when all you admire in her are the qualities of a fae lady, I would not expect anyone to be guided by my changeable opinions in whom they woo. I wish you luck, Tiernan, you will need it."
Tiernan gave his brother a jaunty bow and claimed Sarah for the next dance, ready for his next move in the courting of the queen.
"I cannot tell you how glad I am that we followed you to the goblin kingdom, Jareth," Ikiaq said matter-of-factly from Jareth's side. The castellaine had come up unnoticed and overheard much of the conversation between the brothers, and her face showed nothing but exasperation. "Tiernan is bright, and he has traveled widely, and yet I am amazed how his mind can so determinedly stay closed to understanding." She looked at Jareth dryly. "He believes that fae were born to rule all, and no other kindred can hold against them, or is worth as much. I don't think you ever held this belief, how could you with me as your milk-mother and Nerromiktok your sister? Which is why the labyrinth chose you I suppose. Yet why is Tiernan's mind so closed?" She shook her head. "His remarks about Sarah make me doubt if he is as smart as I thought. Who can look at her and not despair? I am worried about her, Jareth, it has been over a year since the battle, yet she walks with her dead still. She never cries for Nehorai." When Jareth mustered her with raised eyebrows, she looked at him a defensively. "Well, she never swore an oath to stop me from keeping an eye on her, and anyway, it's not snooping when the goblins talk to me."
"Leave her be, Ikiaq, she needs to heal at her own pace, and nothing you or anyone does will change this. Nehorai has been at her side since the binding, the underground and all she knows tied to his presence. They have traveled the goblin kingdom together for long years, and I think they have fought in each others defense more often than we can ever know. She lost one whom she loved as much as herself."
"I know Nehorai was her shadow, and he loved her as she loved him. The queen needed to be part of the battle, and so did he. None of you might live had she not blocked the magic of the man without a name. Tiernan is an ass, Nehorai's death was not her fault," Ikiaq said with unaccustomed heat.
"If you lay dying, Ikiaq, and I could save you, yet your death would be necessary for the labyrinth, my choice would have to be hers, mother," and he put his hand on his milk-mother's shoulder. "And yet, how do you live with such a decision, without hating yourself and the world? She loved Nehorai, and she cannot see life without him, only that she let him die. She needs to find her own way out of her darkness, Ikiaq, and nothing will hurry it." Jareth was more serious than was his wont, and Ikiaq looked at him astonished. "And Tiernan is in for a surprise, for the goblin queen is as asleep now, but I doubt her memory is equally encumbered." He looked at Sarah in the arms of Tiernan on the dance floor with a grin showing his teeth. "Sarah doesn't take kindly to being patronized, and she holds grudges very well."
"All these years I have known you, Jareth, and yet I never knew that you showed such a care and understanding of others. But perhaps this is a recent development?" Ikiaq gave him a much-too-knowing smile, and Jareth decided it was an excellent time to be looking for a dance partner of his own.
As so often in the last months, Sarah woke up in inky darkness after too little sleep, and as she lay motionless in her bed, she knew she would in vain be searching for the release of slumber. She craved the oblivion of sleep, for only then did she find peace. In the beginning, she had woken from nightmares too often, her heart beating in faceless terror, her face wet with unremembered tears, until at length the labyrinth had ruthlessly taken over her dreams to protect its chosen. Since then her dreams had become her only escape, when she would glide on spread wings in the thermals over the frozen lake in the Queen's Palisades, her mind empty of all but air and sun and wind, or when she felt the rain on her sleek striped body hunting the vast grass planes of the Plains of Ashes, green and fresh in the new cycle, all of her attention and concentration on the sounds of the small animals in the fresh green grass, the thrill of discovery, the exultation of the chase; and in these gifts of the labyrinth she left behind her memories and pain. But her respite was always too brief, too fleeting, as she woke up only a few short hours after she had gone to sleep, even though she drove herself to exhaustion every day.
Sarah did not bother to put a robe over her chemise, for when she walked the castle in her burning wakefulness she was cloaked in the power of the labyrinth, and none would see her though she might pass within a breath of them. Yet it was at least four hours to sunrise, and at this time nothing stirred in the castle, as even those who moved secretly to beds not their own under the cover of the night had long since found their way to their lovers, and they would not bestir themselves to return for hours to come. Like a restless spirit Sarah walked the long halls and corridors, haunting the kitchens and the galleries, and her every step was shadowed in her mind by a beloved presence she would not see in this life again, and she could not leave behind neither her pain nor her guilt.
And as always she walked until her heart was numb and her body was exhausted. Sarah was ready to go back to her rooms when she found herself before the one door she had not passed in all the months' of Nehorai's death, the one place in the castle that she had shied away from when she had roamed aimlessly. Sudden fury distorted her features, and with shaking hands Sarah opened the door the goblin king's rooms.
The king's goblin guards were not alarmed when an angry queen dressed in only a cambric chemise walked through the antechambers with furious purpose, and Sed opened the door to Jareth's bedroom for her quickly. When he had quietly closed the door again, the goblins shared a pleased smile. Finally, the queen was angry. It was time.
Sarah stood in the darkness by the door, her eyes only just taking in the dim outline of the room, barely visible in the starlight peeking through the open windows, when the whole room brightened slightly with a golden glow, as if an invisible candle had been lit. Her head jerked to the bed, to see Jareth sit up unhurriedly and set away a cobalt dagger, shimmering in deadly blue, on the low table at the head of his bed. He looked at her with an unreadable expression in his face and rose, naked and unashamed, and his beauty took Sarah's breath away, and heat rose in her belly. Jareth walked up to the tense woman with the grace and allure of a snow panther and looked at her without smile. He lifted his hand to her face, slow enough to for her to move back had she wanted to, and he touched her lips with his fingertips. Sarah's world contracted and her breath froze in her chest, and the only thing she could still perceive was Jareth's presence. With a snarl she drew back her hand and hit him in the face with all her strength. Jareth's head snapped back, and when he turned his face back to her, he smiled as blood ran from his split lip. He seized Sarah by the shoulders and drew her into a violent kiss, and the burning touch of skin touching skin pushed both of them over the edge of sanity and control.
Much later Sarah lay on her back on the bed and her head rested on Jareth's arm, her breathing still harsh and labored, her body slick with sweat. Her eyes open and her mind empty of all but sensation, tears began to run from her eyes as her shoulders started to shake, and harsh sobs broke from her. Jareth took her into a tight embrace as Sarah began to cry helplessly, hopelessly, wailing with pain and despair until her eyes were dry and her voice was ragged, and trembling she held on to Jareth's hard body as if it was the only thing that would save her from drowning. He held her for a long time after she had stopped shaking, but at length Sarah extricated herself from his arms and rose from the bed without looking at him. She picked her chemise from the floor and put it on, then left the room without turning back. In all the time since she had entered Jareth's room, neither of them had spoken a word.
When she reached her rooms again, having passed through the corridors like a wraith, she stood before her mirror for a long time and stared at her reflection with blind eyes, until she finally turned away and went back to her bed, succumbing to dreamless sleep within minutes. And as always, part of her as much as her heartbeat, the labyrinth moved in her mind and shored up her spirit, and though she had shared the first emotions other than pain she had felt since Nehorai died with her chosen, she did not know it.
Sarah went though the days that followed in the same dead haze as before, but sometimes, before she was to meet the goblin king, her heart seized in fear, anticipation, fury, she knew not. Yet Jareth treated the queen as he always had, with arrogant charm and roguish address, and it was as if the night she had spent in his arms had never happened. Sarah smiled to herself, and she knew that it had been an aberration, and she did not know nor care what had happened, because it would not come to pass again.
And when she found herself again at the door of his rooms another night, she wanted to turn away but found that she could not bring herself to leave, and she came to him as angry as the first time, and there was no tenderness in her but anger and loss, and when she cried in his arms for pain and despair, she would not look at him and left him without a word before the sun came up.
And so it went for months. The goblin queen would flee back to her rooms from the arms of the goblin king and vow to never go back again, and she would fight the loneliness and despair building in her, while time seemed to pass slower and her need for comfort grew greater with every day. She denied herself the only touch that soothed the pain in her soul and filled the dark emptiness that engulfed her days. Sarah knew with mounting fear that she was dragged back into feeling again, and it terrified her, as she could not bear the thought of living without the pain of her loss, for would it not be a betrayal? And yet always on some night on her wanderings through the castle she would find herself at the king's rooms, and the cycle would repeat.
One night Sarah rose after their love-making and picked a silk blanket from the floor as she walked over to the window. Sitting on the wide sill, the blanket wrapped around herself against the cool breeze, she looked over the sleeping goblin city and the labyrinth, resplendent under the light of the double full moons. She heard the rustling of bedclothes behind her as Jareth rose, but she did not turn. From the corner of her eye she saw him sit down on the wide ledge with his back against the thick wall, and with strong arms he gathered her up and pulled her close against his naked body, one arm around her waist and his other hand resting on her collarbone, and his fingers caressed the soft skin of her throat. Sarah felt her heartbeat speed up and leaned back into his hard chest, her head resting against his shoulder, and his touch filled all her senses. When she turned her head, she felt her temple graze his jaw. His arm on her waist tightened.
"You know I do not love you, goblin king," she said with as much disdain in her voice as she could muster.
The burning caress of his fingers neither faltered nor stopped. "Perhaps you do not yet, Sarah, but you will." His voice held neither doubt nor arrogance, and Sarah stiffened as pain exploded in her chest and strangled her breathing.
"You are a conceited bastard, goblin king, arrogant and cruel. This means nothing to me, less than nothing, and I care nothing about you. What do you know of love and its pain? I do not care to love again, and least of all you." Sarah's breath escaped in a hiss as his warm breath touched the burning skin of her neck and a shudder ran through her softening body.
Jareth's voice caressed her like the gentlest touch of fingertips, and his voice was dark and sweet. "Tiernan and many other men in court would give riches uncounted and magic untold to hold you like this, my lady. Yet it is my rooms you come to when your pain leads you to wander the night, it is my embrace you choose when you seek release, and it is my arms that hold you when you cry." His voice was sure and untroubled by her spite. "I will wait forever for you to love me, Sarah."
And he forestalled her anger by pulling her tight into a passionate embrace, his hands moving hungrily over her body as he kissed her neck, and nothing broke the silence of the night but the sounds of their passion.
The months passed, and the goblin queen slowly and inexorably found herself lured back into life again, and if she fought the loss of the comforting lethargy and the peace of detachment, she could hold on to aloofness no more than she could keep herself away from the goblin king's embraces. As the days began to shorten, the queen gazed out of a window during a meeting one morning, and she noticed with surprise that the leaves on the trees had begun to change color, and the morning light shone low and red into the room. Sarah wondered how she had missed the change of seasons, and she realized with a start that she barely knew what month it was. She somehow made it though the meeting without betraying her mental absence and made her excuses as soon as she could, retreating into the castle gardens. For the first time for longer than she could remember she took in the beauty of the late flowers, purple bee balm and white phlox, asters and dahlias growing in a riot of autumn colors in low beds, and a wilderness of multicolored yarrow bloomed along the walls. The air was abuzz with the low hum of bees, and the sweet smell of the flowers wafted through the enclosed garden. She walked to a bench dappled with sunlight, partially shaded by late-blooming wild roses, and she sat down and basked lazily in the late-summer warmth as Eek sneaked up on her and jumped on her lap, then rolled himself up like a cat for a nap.
In the back of her mind Sarah felt, as always, the presence of the labyrinth, and as always she knew herself held in its love and care, and she felt a surge of joy and opened her whole being to it to share. She was not yet ready to converse with the labyrinth, but for the first time for longer than she cared to remember she was completely conscious of its eternal presence in her mind and knew herself a part of the labyrinth again.
When Eek sneezed in her lap as a ray of sunlight had tickled his nose, Sarah opened her eyes and looked at him quizzically.
"How long is it until Samhain, Eek?"
"Near a sennight, Sarra. They are busy all over castle preparing for the feast. Don't you remember, Sarra? You promise lord Tiernan the first dance."
"We won't be here for the ball," she smiled at her goblin quietly. She remembered the last time she had celebrated Samhain, before Nehorai had died at the border. While she knew that this was the second year since his death, she could not recollect what she had done last year. As she tried to recall as much as she could since the battle at the border, she found that nothing of the last two years was to be found in her memory but the nights she had spent in Jareth's arms. She knew she had been at countless meetings, receptions and balls, but she could recall no detail of anything that had happened. "We will go to the mists, Eek, to celebrate with the shedim." She smiled at the goblin in her lap. "Nehorai would be happy to know that I keep up my visits, and I want to sing with my friends again."
And with quiet, unobtrusive determination Sarah prepared for her journey to the mists, and she told the goblin king and the court at a dinner two days later that she was leaving the day after. She found to her surprise that Jareth wished her godspeed on her journey, with a undecipherable smile on his face, and opposition to her plan came from the side of the courtiers, Tiernan foremost among them. Yet Sarah was not dissuaded, and she answered to all objections with sweet reason and iron determination, and she did not show her exasperation at the possessive and somewhat patronizing arguments Tiernan put up until she finally retired. When had Tiernan got the impression that he had a right to tell her what she could do? Sarah thought for sure she would remember if anything had happened between them that would allow him to come to the conclusion he could dictate her actions. She guiltily thought that her smiling docility and her vacuous but meaningless flirtations might have given him the wrong impression, and she knew that she would need to talk to her friend when she came back to clear the air between them.
As the first rays of the sun poked orange and bright over the horizon, Sarah turned into her birdshape and took to the air, and she flew for two days and two nights until she reached the borderlands of reality in the heart of the goblin kingdom and turned back to her human body. She waited but a short time until Eek joined her, for goblins, being part of the labyrinth, could appear and disappear at any place within the goblin kingdom at will. The queen's goblin took up his usual spot on Sarah's shoulder and she walked into the mists with a smile on her face. As she made her way through the ever-changing landscape, unerringly heading for the shedim's village, for the first time since Nehorai's death she felt her every step not followed by his absence as much as his presence. Sarah knew in her heart that while she would miss him until the end of time, she was finally able to let his memory walk in peace on the other side of night and accept the emptiness and pain where his love had been. Nothing she could do or say would ever change his death, and she would rejoice in what he had given his people, as much as he had.
The shedim were glad at the goblin queen's return and greeted her with the warmth of family, and she was not alone from the moment that she arrived. Sarah looked at the familiar, grey-feathered faces of the shedim and listened to their beautiful voices, and she felt an unexpected peace settle on her. Seated among them, two rambunctious children happily climbing all over her, she held a mug of larak in her hands and listened with interest to the stories that the shedim told her. For the first time since the battle Sarah inquired what the man without a name had wrought since his defeat at the border. In many ways the land seemed safer now than it had been. In the wee hours of every night a fog like congealing blood rose from the waters, and as it slowly drifted over the land before it dissolved, it made short work of any who meant harm to the land. And if nobody knew what caused the fog, the gratitude of the people ran deep. The shedim earned their place in the kingdom, one day after another, as by the king's decree they now worked alongside the warrior mages along the borders and all through the country. Four or five shedim accompanied each group of mages on their journeying between the settlements, and upon their arrival all in the village would gather. The shedim then joined their voices in a song of power, and whatever hold the will of the man without a name might have had on the spirit of any of the people would fall away as the purity of the song of joy broke all enchantments and dark bindings. The shedim grew strong ties of friendship with the fae they accompanied, and their gentleness and kind spirit quickly broke down the prejudices still harbored by the kindreds of the goblin kingdom. The story how the queen's shadow had sacrificed himself and his queen's love for his people was a yarn told often, and in countless variations, at firesides, and meeting the shedim was the final small step to overcome whatever fears might yet lurk in the kindreds' mind. As Nehorai had hoped, his death had given his people a place in the world, and as they moved among other kindreds, they rejoiced in the friendships they made among other people.
Sarah blinked away the tears as she listened to the Shedims' exited descriptions of the places they had seen, and the people they had met, and through the biting pain of her loss she knew that Nehorai had had the courage and the selflessness to do what she understood she would not have been able to.
Yet there were darker news as well. Even though the citizens of the goblin kingdom were safer now, the visitations of Babdh in the borderlands had not ceased but spread out all along the northern borders of the kingdom. Now the trade routes to Ardar Iforas lay under siege just as it was in desperate need of succor as a new queen tried to rebuild a country run to destruction by a careless king. Khôràsan was likewise under attack as it depended heavily on trade with the goblin kingdom, and even the trade routes to Matagamon were assailed. Yet nobody had ever faced Babdh and lived to tell the tale, and now only large caravans with ample protection now kept the connection from the goblin kingdom to their northern neighbors open.
The lady Urit walked up to the goblin queen with a welcoming smile and refilled her mug with steaming larak, then she hung the iron pot over the fire and sat down next to Sarah. "We have been lucky so far, my lady Sarah, as none of us has perished at the border from Babdh's hand yet. She has never attacked any of the warrior mages, it seems she is afraid of their prowess." She looked at the queen and hesitated for a moment before she went on. "The goblin king sent word that we should expect your visit for Samhain a few weeks ago. He asked us to give you a reckoning of all that has happened since the battle, as you would need all the information that you could get."
Sarah looked at her in frank astonishment. "I did not know I was coming here a few weeks ago," she said with wonderment in her voice. She took a few moments to collect herself. "But he is right, Urit. I am shamefully ignorant of all that has happened since Nehorai's death," and for a moment her voice caught before she went on. "I have been derelict in my duties, and it is high time I learned what has happened."
The slight shedim woman smiled at her shyly and put her hand on Sarah's arm. "It is ever so, lady Sarah, and no dereliction of duty, to be numbed by pain when you loose one you love. Know, my queen, that we share your pain, and we understand the loss you suffered. Nehorai and you paid the price for our freedom, and his sacrifice is in our hearts and our minds always."
Sarah smiled at her through glittering eyes. "You better tell me what has happened in the last months, Urit, before I burst into tears like a child."
The young shedim looked at her with shadowed eyes. "Terrible things are happening to the labyrinth, my queen. We did not even know for many months that anything was wrong, for we thought we had struck a decisive blow against the man without a name, but we were mistaken."
Sarah looked at Urit in shock, and her eyes turned black and distant.
Why did you not tell me? Are you hurt? I never knew anything wrong in your mind touch.
YOU ARE FULLY AWAKE AGAIN, CHOSEN. WELCOME BACK TO THE LIVING. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ME, FOR I AM NOT HURT. URIT WILL TELL YOU.
Sarah turned her attention back to Urit who had waited patiently for the goblin queen to move out of the mindlink with the labyrinth.
"It was found in the last few months only, lady Sarah, that the man without a name is not beaten but is acting to harm us from within, and he is gathering power still. In the months after the battle the king has laid traps for our enemy, to catch him when next he took the life force and magic of one of ours, for the labyrinth has learned to recognize how it feels when a life is stolen. It seemed these attacks had ceased, yet then an odei found perchance the hidden dead bodies of several dwarfs in a ditch in the fens, their lives torn from them. This is when we first learned that the labyrinth does not know itself in some parts, nor its oathbound. There are areas within the goblin kingdom now which are like dead to the labyrinth, and it cannot feel anything there, nor observe. If you slept, lady Sarah, and someone cut strands off your hair in your sleep, how would you know that is gone? It is thus for the labyrinth. It never felt how these areas were stolen from its conscience, and so it does not know where or how many there are, nor what it means." Urit paused for breath as Sarah looked at her with horror. "The man without a name is in the goblin kingdom, lady Sarah, and the fog that destroys those of lesser power does not slay him." Yet the young shedim smiled Sarah. "It is good to have you back, my queen." With these words she stood up and held out her hand to Sarah. "There is nothing for you to do now, lady Sarah, so rest and celebrate with us. Now that you are back among your people, you have time to plan with the king and the labyrinth what can be done, my lady."
And Sarah did as Urit told her, and she walked among the shedim in gladness, and in the eager company of his people she recounted for them her life with Nehorai and his death, of which she had never talked before. And the goblin queen told the Shedim who had taken her in when she had just been brought to the Underground, the first people who had loved her when she had been ignorant and fearful, that it was their knowledge to block the magical power of others had saved the goblin kingdom in battle. Nehorai had taught her the Shedim way, and with all her power she had been able to keep her people safe and could foil the plans of the man without name.
When she went to her room in the evening, she merged with the labyrinth as she had done in the beginning, and as their minds mingled she learned all that there was to know about the last two years. And in the love and acceptance of the labyrinth's mind she understood that there was no apology necessary for her withdrawal and the silence of her pain, for the labyrinth had been part of her since the binding and knew her heart and soul better than she did herself. For even she never let the labyrinth comfort her, it knew her love and despair and it waited patiently until its chosen had healed herself to accept love again.
The Samhain celebration gave comfort to Sarah that she had neither expected nor believed possible. All shedim, spread out through the goblin kingdom as though they were now, came to their homes in the Mists for Samhain to celebrate another year with their brethren, and under the golden Hunter's moon and its smaller purple companion the ceremony began with a passionate hymn that Sarah had never heard before. As she listened, tears began to run down her face as she understood it for what it was - a simple hymn of gratitude to the one who had given his life and his dreams to free his people for naught but love. The magic woven by the song was powerful, and Sarah felt joy stealing into her heart as she shared both the sadness and love the Shedim held for their dead brother.
Urit turned to the queen. "Whenever we meet now, lady Sarah, this is the first song of power that we share, and it will be thus until the end of time. Nehorai and you have set us free, my queen, and we Shedim will not forget." Sarah smiled at the young woman, and when she joined the kindred in the song of joy, she felt its hope and light touch her core. And Sarah knew that in dying Nehorai had sung of life, and the darkness in his mind had finally been conquered.
The goblin queen spent the next weeks in the constant loving companionship of the Shedim, and their understanding and gentleness eased her sometimes abrupt manner and the long silences that she found difficult to fill with words. While many of the Shedim left the mists to re-join their missions, Urit stayed close to the queen, and Sarah talked to her much like she had to Nehorai. In the weeks that passed, Sarah gained a deeper understanding of the challenges and the problems facing the kingdom, and she found Urit's advice to be thoughtful and unusual. The quiet of the mists allowed Sarah to gather herself before she returned to the goblin city, and by the time she took her leave she was much in possession of herself again, and ready to face whatever she had to. She kissed Urit good-bye and smiled at the young Shedim woman. "I am looking forward to seeing you again, Urit. I had not thought it possible to recover myself in but a few weeks, but the Shedim and the Mists seem to work wonders on me. I want to thank you for your kindness and your understanding. I am glad to know that Nehorai was not unique among his kindred but that he was typical of the Shedim. I am honored, lady Urit, by your friendship and all the selfless aid you have given me. Wish me luck. I think I will need it."
She grinned at the young woman and changed to her birdshape, and she took to the air fast, making her way out of the Mists without delay.
When Sarah returned to the goblin kingdom after more than a moon, she succeeded to stay out of the goblin king's way for two days, and while the thought of just running off and roaming the roads again without facing him did cross her mind, neither her conscience nor her sense of duty would let her. So when she rose on the third morning, early as usual, she needed a long time getting ready, trying to look her best without appearing to have done so, and she spend an inordinate amount of time over breakfast. Yet finally she could postpone it no longer, and she went in search of Jareth. An irritatingly helpful guard told her where to find him, and much too soon she stood in front of the library, dreading the next minutes, and she took a deep breath and opened the door. Jareth and several of his ministers and clerks crowded around a map on the table, and when they heard her enter, they turned and bowed politely to the queen. The courtiers immediately began to draw her into a conversation, and she responded as politely as possible, but her patience, never too long in the first place, was running out fast. The goblin king stood slightly aloof, watching the scene with seeming coolness, but he was most interested in what the queen might have in mind, as even a cursory glance at her showed that she was restored to reason and emotion once again.
"I am very sorry, my lords, to have interrupted your meeting with the king, but I would not have come here unless it was important I talk to him." This did not stop the courtiers from chattering with her until she could take it no longer. "I have said it as nicely as possible, my lords, but it seems you are too thick to understand, so let me make myself crystal clear. Why don't you take yourself and your mind-numbingly boring talk somewhere else so I can talk to the king?" This finally had the desired effect, for the flustered courtiers fled the library as quickly as possible without giving the impression of running.
When the library was empty, Sarah turned to the goblin king and looked up at him determinedly. Jareth was lounging against the table and examined her carefully, his cool, composed face giving away nothing, and Sarah took a deep breath. "I must ask your forgiveness, goblin king," she managed with laudable fortitude, although her face was flushed deep scarlet and she had the hardest time looking at him.
His face got more forbidding with each of her words, and he spoke to her with a voice as cold as ice. "Indeed you do, my lady Sarah, but please, do elucidate on this pitiful explanation, as none in their right mind could consider this an apology."
In this moment Sarah hated him with all her heart, but she knew he deserved a proper apology, even though he might not accept it, and who was she to blame him? "I have treated you ill in these last months, goblin king, and I have taken advantage of the responsibility you must have felt for the woman the labyrinth chose for its queen, to share its powers with you. I know that it is not an excuse to plead the madness of grief for my behavior, goblin king, and all I can do is promise you that I will not impose on you again. I know I was never invited to your rooms, and I have treated you cruelly when you have been nothing but kind to me." Sarah looked at the fae king who seemed carved of ice, all white and silver, and the stillness and fathomless cold depth of his eyes made her wish for a quick death on the spot. She understood she would pay for the trespasses of the last months for a very long time. For a moment she closed her eyes so she did not have to see his harsh face, but then she pulled back her shoulders, straightened her back and looked him straight in the face again, her mortification writ large on her face.
"I do not know whether I can find it in me to forgive you, my lady Sarah, I have never been a man to easily forgive and forget. And I agree with you, your behavior has been execrable and well neigh unforgivable."
Sarah looked at him through a haze of roiling emotions and wondered if it was possible to die of shame and guilt. She could barely bring herself to stand before him and listen to his cruel, cold words, and yet she could feel the heat pool in her belly just from looking at him, and as always her desire for his touch was near overwhelming.
"You have been using me without care or thought, lady, and it has been the most degrading experience in a very long life. I feel quite used, and I do not know if can ever recover from this. I feel so ... worthless."
Sarah was so caught up in her own misery that his words took unduly long to penetrate the shame that cottoned her ears, but when his meaning finally hit home, she looked at him incredulously. To her shock she saw his lips twitch even as he struggled valiantly to keep his forbidding mien, but to no avail. A final glance at the confusion, dawning understanding and, unavoidable with Sarah, rising anger warring in her face, and Jareth burst into uncontrollable laughter, his shoulders shaking with mirth, until tears ran down his face. While Sarah was still desperately trying to get a hold of her conflicting emotions, he finally subdued his laughter and looked at her with wicked amusement.
"You cannot possibly blame me for goading you, Sarah, for nobody could have resisted the temptation you were offering up so generously. But really, my dear, is that why you have been hiding, and looking at me like a terrified doe? Because you took ... advantage of me?"
He looked at her, merriment dancing in his eyes. "I could have put an end to your visits at any time, Sarah, had I so wished, and yet I did not. The only thing I find hard to forgive is that you did not come to my rooms more often, my sweet. I was under the impression I did my utmost best to prove to you that I wholeheartedly approved, yes, rejoiced in your visits. I must say though, to claim that I was nothing but ... kind ... to you is damning with faint praise. I thought I did better than that. Really, Sarah, you are not usually this simple-minded." He smirked. "But as we all know, our own perception shapes our reality, lady, so I will offer you a chance to atone for your sins, for I know you will never be free of your guilt unless you can expiate your misdeeds." He smiled at her in an intimate way that made Sarah blush down to her toes and sauntered up to her until he stood but a hand-span away. He ran his leather-clad fingers softly along the line of her cheekbone and slowly traced her jaw, his eyes as wide and wild as hers and his breath hissing. Whatever anger Sarah had gathered to defend herself against his presence melted away, and she shivered under his touch.
"I may consider forgiving your trespasses, Sarah, if you promise to visit me again in my rooms," and all amusement had left his voice, suddenly urgent and low. "Indeed, I should be grateful and elated, Sarah," and he slowly lowered his face to hers, and the arousing touch of his lips against hers drove coherent thought out of her mind as always and she leaned into his kiss. Sarah felt his hand on her back pulling her closer to him as she buried her hands in his wild hair, abandoning common sense and prudence as she gave herself without restraint to his embrace.
When she finally could hold on to a thought again minutes later, she gasped and looked at Jareth wild-eyed. He looked no more composed than Sarah did, and the delighted smile on his face lit a strange feeling of joy in her heart, but she freed herself from his embrace determinedly and for safety sake took several steps back. "I have no idea what got into you, goblin king," she scolded him, though she could not repress the grin on her face. "Not even half your day's duties done, and here you are behaving most irresponsibly. You should be ashamed of yourself. I certainly am. Ashamed of you, that is. Your councilors are likely crowded outside and are wondering what the night could be so important that it could not wait until after the meeting."
Jareth did not give the impression of a man who cared a fig about what others thought of him, but he could read Sarah well enough, and his lady needed some time to gather her thoughts. For a moment he considered whisking her away to his rooms and making love to her until she could think no more, yet while the thought was most appealing, he did not feel that it would help his case any in the long run. He sighed with regret. "So I expect I will see you at the banquet tonight, Sarah? The court will be glad to see the queen, and I would be enchanted."
Sarah hesitated for a moment, but then acquiesced. "If you promise that your manners will be impeccable, Jareth, and you will not embarrass me, I might consider coming."
"Where is the fun in that?" He did not wait for her answer. "And Sarah, since you seem to have returned to your normal self, may I be so rude as to beg you not to come to the meetings with the delegations from the other demesnes any longer?"
The goblin queen flashed him a cheeky grin over her shoulder as she walked towards the door. "Now that I am back in possession of my faculties I do not want to shed anymore IQ points by listening to that mindless drivel, thank you. I will see you tonight then, Jareth."
He waited until her hand was on the handle of the door and called out silkily to her. "Oh, and Sarah - let me assuage any further doubts in your mind. You are always welcome to my rooms and to my bed, so please, do consider yourself having a standing invitation."
The goblin queen fled the room with a burning face, nearly running over the curious ministers outside in the corridor, and the goblin king's laughter echoed after her.
The next morning, after her sword training with Eirlys, Sarah went in search of Tiernan. She knew not what to expect from this conversation, but his reaction to her announcement that she would leave the city to go to the Shedim had started her thinking. She found him in his office, a large, businesslike room in the barracks, full of maps, folios and military bric-a-brac, deep in discussion with several soldiers, but when she entered his face lit up, and he dismissed the men with a few words. He walked up to her and took her hands in his, a smile on his face.
"Lady Sarah, what an unexpected pleasure," and he lifted her hand to his lips.
"I had no chance to talk to you since I returned from the Mists, lord Tiernan, and I feel I need to apologize for backing out from that dance I promised you for Samhain." She smiled at him, his open admiration and straightforward manners always lifted her mood, not to say anything about the joy of having a heart-stoppingly beautiful man flirt with you.
He laughed at her words. "I was only surprised, my lady Sarah, I had not realized you had other plans, and I fear I was a bit too forceful in my attempt to convince you to stay. But I am glad to see you, and I don't care what brings you here, really."
Sarah thought that Jareth could certainly learn a thing or two from his brother about how to treat a lady. "I am sure you have noticed, I have not really had plans for a very long time now, and once I realized I missed the Shedim, I did not really pay attention to anything else. I was very rude, lord Tiernan, but perhaps you will dance with me at the next reception? It seems I just woke up from a long sleep, and I seem to have sleepwalked through my life for much of the last two years." Was that clear? How the night did you ask a man if he was in love with you, and then tell him to forget about it? She had never given a "Dear John" speech before, and it might all be in her head anyway.
Tiernan smiled at her way that made her both weak in the knees and sick to her stomach. He was her friend! When had he begun courting her, and how had she missed it? She was not willing to submit to what he wanted from her, for he was as possessive a man as Jareth, and Sarah was not minded to give up who she was to bend to any man's expectations. Sarah did not need that headache, even though Tiernan was as attractive a man as she had ever fantasized about.
All these thoughts shot through Sarah's head in a confused jumble, and her face, expressive as ever, showed her confusion and her roiling emotions as she looked at Tiernan with wide eyes. His smile deepened, and he closed the distance between them in a moment, and before Sarah could gather her wits, he pulled her into an embrace and kissed her. It was not like a kiss from the goblin king, and Sarah thanked the stars for small favors. The touch of his lips did not tear her self control from her and render her blind and insensate to anything else, but it was still a kiss far superior to any others she had ever received. For a minute she let herself fall into the pure pleasure of uncomplicated desire and relished the wild taste and the fiery passion of Tiernan's embrace, but when she opened her eyes, she realized that if her self control was intact, the magic which flowed from her to him left him shaking in her arms, and he could not fight his hunger for her touch any more than Hurin from Matagamon had been able to. With horror she broke away from their embrace and began to stammer out half-incoherent apologies.
It took Tiernan a good few seconds to regain his self-control, and when he had forced a semblance of calm back to his features, he smiled at her if with some effort, and he spoke to her with laughter in his ever so slightly shaking voice. "What would you need to apologize for, Sarah? I believe you could have me flogged for lèse majesté, but it would be worth it."
For a moment Sarah looked up at him with a smile, but it died on her lips. "I was not insulted, Tiernan, but rather flattered. How could I not be? But, my lord Tiernan, it is wrong of me to kiss you. I would be taking advantage, and I do not believe that you are a man who could truly live with this."
Tiernan looked at her disbelievingly. "Taking advantage of me? I don't think that's quite the correct description of what just happened."
Sarah looked at him with hooded eyes and took off her right leather glove. "Whether you know it or not, lord Tiernan, it is. I did not realize myself until just now." She walked up close to him and lifted her hand to his face, and with delicate intention she caressed his cheek, and slowly and hungrily ran her fingers along his lips. Tiernan's breath came in a hiss as he leaned into her touch with unconscious urge, and his eyes went black and his face distorted in powerful hunger. Sarah desperately wished that she could give in to the desire building in her and find release in an embrace that did not unsettle her and make her doubt herself, but she knew that for Tiernan's sake she could not do it. She drew back her hand and stepped away from the Fae lord.
"You cannot resist my touch, lord Tiernan, even if you wanted, as my magic calls out to you when skin touches skin. It would not bother you now, and perhaps not for a long time, but eventually you would resent me. A hunger you cannot control, a need not of your choosing, a desire that cannot be quenched by an embrace, and you would know that it is not so for me. Like your brother you are too stubborn and too proud to accept anyone's power over you, and you would hate me."
"I could never hate you, lady Sarah," and Tiernan's voice shook.
"You are my friend, lord Tiernan, and I would not risk the possibility" Sarah said sadly, finality in her voice. "I need to live my live as I am called to it. And now I find that I cannot even find comfort in the arms of a man, for even one as strong as you is helpless against my touch. I am not Fae, to find pleasure in the adoration and desire of those who are unable to resist me. How could I ever trust it?" With a rueful smile Sarah turned on her heel and left Tiernan's office quickly.
Sarah did not return to the road, despite her original plans. Winter was coming and she did not relish the thought of spending the cold season in some village or other, alone and unable to talk honestly and openly to someone she cared for. And while all she told herself was true, she did not care to admit that she really wanted to stay in the goblin city, and the reason was not that she needed to plan what she could do to help the labyrinth and her people. For whatever courage Sarah possessed, her well-practiced distrustful attitude towards the goblin king and her doubts as to his motives made her cautious and weary, and she knew not what she felt. She doubted her ability to keep her wits about her when they touched, as she had been able with Tiernan, and she cared not to be ensnared by her body, and yet she found she could not simply leave.
The queen dropped some of her duties in the weeks that followed and took up new ones, first among them her return to the war council. The councilors were glad that the queen had recovered and welcomed her warmly. Toby had re-joined the meetings months before her, and he embraced her joyfully when she came in. She smiled and sat down next to him, but in the beginning she mostly listened and asked, trying to get a feel for what was happening after having been out of the loop for so long. It was as bad as Urit had described.
The labyrinth was relatively sure that none of its own power had been absorbed, but how could it be sure? It had no basis for comparison. And nobody knew how many parts of the goblin kingdom where lost to the labyrinth, and how many of its oathbound, for the labyrinth had no way to measure what had been taken from it. But as far as they could make out at present, the centers of population, the big roads and connections between cities and countries were untouched, and the parts of the kingdom severed from the labyrinth's conscience were small and hidden, and seemingly used to hide the dead bodies of the oathbound drained of life who had fallen prey to the man without a name. It seemed that the goblins had the ability to feel the wrongness of the severed parts, probably because they were part of the labyrinth itself and felt the break from themselves, but they were not always right, and it was hard to ascertain their findings.
But while the man without a name was obviously active in the goblin kingdom, he did still occasionally venture to the neighboring countries - never far from the borders, but he did terrible damage as he drained all he encountered on his forays. By now there were many hundreds of mage warriors from other countries in the goblin kingdom, blood-sworn to peace and protecting the people as well as to obedience to the goblin king and the goblin queen, for the Fae in all demesnes had realized that whatever his earlier promises, the enemy had gone mad with the powerful heart magic he had gathered, and he was a danger to all the underground, and could not be trusted. Should the man without a name prevail in the goblin kingdom, the end of their own rule seemed but a short step away, and Fae were nothing if not adaptable to changed circumstances.
So the discussions in the war council went on slowly and with little to show, for they did not know how to draw out the enemy or what his plans might be, and the mood was grim.
The one duty Sarah did not give up completely, despite what she had said to Jareth, were some of the diplomatic meetings. In the two years she had spent oblivious at court, she had managed to unknowingly impress several legates from other countries, and even back to her old self she knew that such was too valuable a connection to give up. Sarah had returned to her fractious self and found some of the admirers who had multiplied around her falling away again as her sharp tongue re-asserted itself, but when she met with the ambassadors' now, she was able to restrain herself. She knew that she would never have Nehorai's skill in dealing with others, as she lacked the prerequisite gentleness and kindness, but she knew how her shadow would have acted. So she spoke to the legates in the measured and quiet tones of Nehorai, and her tribute to her friend's memory was the success in her dealings.
To Sarah's utter astonishment Tiernan seemed to be less than discouraged by their last meeting. The Fae lord began to court her ever more determinedly, seeking out her out at every occasion and paying attention to her every whim as never before. He seemed to see her much more clearly than he had before, and Sarah realized disbelievingly that he even accepted her independence and her stubbornness. His used all his considerable charm to woo her, and when Sarah danced with him at any reception, she could feel his strong arms pull her close, and she was sorely tempted to give in to his seductive but unthreatening advances.
Sarah longed for distraction, and Tiernan's touch filled her senses with desire she could understand, and his presence did not leave her flustered, angry and aroused at the same time. After she had talked to Jareth after her return from the Mists, he treated her as he always had, and his taunting smile and his mocking words left her inexplicably furious, and he never touched her any more nor did he comment on his brother's courtship of her.
Sarah's nights were peaceful again, her sleep untroubled, and if she woke up from her dreams sometimes in tears, it was the way of things, for all who sleep are hunted from the peace of oblivion sometimes by the night mares.
Sarah could not bring herself to go to Jareth, and she tried to make herself forget about his touch but could not. And three weeks after her return she sat next to the goblin king on the dais for the Meán Gheimhridh celebration, and she smiled until her face was numb. She dreaded the night ahead alone in her rooms, Longest Night indeed, and she excused herself early, pleading headaches.
Sarah spent hours in her bath and drank some firewine, for would not a hot bath and some alcohol tire you out? They didn't. And as she paced restlessly through her rooms, the goblin king's rooms in the other tower were bright still, and with a curse she stood.
If he said one single mocking word, she would kill him and be done with it, she swore to herself. She did not bother to put any clothes over her chemise, for the labyrinth would keep her safe from prying eyes, and he had seen her in a lot less clothes before, so what was the point?
She stood before the door to the goblin king's rooms and tried to gather the courage to enter, but luckily for her determination Sed opened before she had to admit defeat. He looked at her happily, without judgment, and stepped back to let her in. Sarah smiled at the grinning goblin guards in the anteroom, they had to be the only creatures in the universe that could make her feel good right now, and it gave her the courage to go on to the door of Jareth's bedroom and enter.
Despite the late hour Jareth sat in the window, wearing a loose pair of pants and nothing else, and the light in the room cast a golden glow over his pale chest and caught in his unruly hair. He was lazily contact juggling at least five crystal balls in his left hand and flashes of light reflected crazily along the walls, but as he turned his head to the door and saw a belligerent looking Sarah at the door, he stilled and the lights moved no more. She was staring at him, her lips pressed to a tight line and her eyes narrowed, looking to all the world like a boxer preparing to be hit.
With a quick gesture the crystals disappeared, and he got up gracefully and walked over to Sarah. "I was beginning to despair that you would never come to me, my sweet," and his smile was open and without guile, and the welcome in his mismatched eyes was unmistakable.
Sarah's face relaxed and an uncertain smile touched her lips. "I was afraid, I think. I cannot think straight when you are close to me, and I don't like that."
Jareth's hand touched the locks on her head, and then his fingers moved down the side of her face. "Nobody would have suspected this from observing you, my dearest Sarah, you seemed in such perfect control of yourself all these last weeks."
Sarah shuddered as his fingers ran over her lips, and with a wild smile she placed her hand on his chest as she had before she had taken him out of time. With a smile matching hers, Jareth drew his fingers over the skin of Sarah's throat in a complex gesture, leaving them facing each other as naked as they had been born, before he drew her slowly into a sensual embrace and kissed her languidly, deliberately, and when he felt her nails cut into his skin he lifted her up with a quick movement and carried her to the bed.
Much later Sarah thought there were certain advantages to it being Meán Gheimhridh after all, not the least of which had to be that everybody slept longer in midwinter as the sun came up late, and she fell asleep entangled in Jareth's limbs and sheets. When she came to again the sky just began to turn grey and Jareth reached for her, grinning at her wolfishly, and proceeded to wake her up completely.
When she finally went back to her rooms hours later, she realized that while invisibility was useful, she still needed to be fast-footed to avoid running into the many people in the hallways and stairs. Thank the night in the last weeks she had taken to leaving the castle and take up her life in the goblin city again as Eir. She would not been seen in the castle for the whole day, so the fact that she had not shown her face this morning would not seem strange to anyone.
Half an hour later Sarah was ready and ravenous, and she had decided that spending the day as Eir was just what she needed, and plenty of errands to run, too. She tied her purse to her belt when she heard a knock from the door. She turned disbelievingly, for this door led to a wardrobe, or if she wanted it to, to her house in the lower city. Nobody but her and Nehorai had ever used it. Before she could collect herself, the door opened and Jareth stood there, and he smirked at her, then looked down fondly at the lacy chemise in his hand.
"I might be willing to trade your chemise for my shirt, Sarah," he purred. "Although I would not be averse if you did not want to trade at all. I believe the castle would be abuzz with gossip if they found my clothes in your rooms, and yours in mine. Just imagine the wonders this could do for my reputation as an irresistible lover." Behind him Sarah could see his bedroom through the doorframe, and she blinked several times as she stared at him mutely.
Jareth walked by her, deliberately brushing against her as he passed, and he put the chemise on her bed and picked up his shirt. He laughed at Sarah, who still stood thunderstruck and quiet. "I never believed I would see the day to see you speechless, Sarah," he said with deep satisfaction in his voice. "You must tell me what I did, my sweet, so I can do it again when necessary."
Finally Sarah found her voice again. "You know, you could have told me that there was an easier way to get back to my rooms unobservedly than trying to avoid running into people in the halls."
"You caught me unawares, Sarah, when you donned my shirt and left. I had just decided that a day of rest in my bed would be all I needed to recover from a short, unspecified illness, but there you were already, barely if attractively dressed in my shirt, and you left before I could inform you of our plans."
"And here I was under the impression that you were pondering a polite way of telling me that you really had to get to work. You should have seen your face, Jareth." Sarah laughed. "You looked miles away, and I thought it would be rude to overstay my welcome."
Jareth looked at her with dancing eyes. "I was gathering my strength, my sweet," he said grinning. "You are not an easy woman to entertain, and I really have no idea what gave you the idea you could possibly overstay my welcome. Too much of you is barely enough, Sarah."
Sarah blushed deep scarlet, and she stood on her toes and pulled Jareth's face down to hers for a kiss. When they came up for air an indeterminate time later, he said rather breathless: "It is still an excellent plan, my sweet. The queen is away, as she sometimes is, and the king is laid up sick. What do you say?"
"A brilliant plan, well worthy of the goblin king's cunning," and she laughed up at him, held close in his embrace, "but unlucky for you I am bloody hungry, and I have actually had enough time to think of some errands I should have done weeks ago, but did not. I would feel too guilty now. But I have developed clairvoyance, did you know? You need to keep your strength up, Jareth, for I can see that you will be ill for at least two days in the near future, and everyone will agree that you look exhausted when you get up from your sickbed again. It will be some illness that requires you to be left alone completely, with none but your goblins to look after you. I have no idea what it will be, but you better find out. I don't think Hina'ea or Ikiaq are the women you want to sooth your feverish brow, now do you?"
With obvious reluctance Jareth let go of her. "Not exactly all I could have hoped for, but a close second," he conceded. "And should you want to avoid staircases and hallways in the future, just try the door, my sweet." He grinned. "I suspect it opens to your quarters in town, wherever they may be. I told you, the magic of the labyrinth can easily transport you to wherever you need to if it is short enough, and a stone throw distance between our towers should not pose too much of a problem. Just think of me, and that should direct the door quite nicely." He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. Sarah had not known that it was possible to feel well-neigh faint from something as innocent as a kiss like that, but the goblin king had admirable abilities.
"And lady - don't let me wait as long the next time," Jareth murmured in her ear and turned to the door, and he closed it behind him with a flourish after a last wink.
With a sigh Sarah grabbed her woolen cloak from a chest and concentrated on her house in town before she opened the door again, and the rest of the day passed in a flurry of activity.
Yet for reasons Sarah did not understand herself, she did try to hold out against his embrace still, and she did not go to him that night nor the nights after, as much as she wanted to. And during the days nothing changed between them, and he was still the same stubborn, exasperating man he had ever been, and nobody could have told from his demeanor that anything had changed between them. He needled her and infuriated her as much as he ever had, but now he touched her teasingly again as he had before, and the unspoken promise in his touch and his smile stoked Sarah's anger and frustration to a fine peak, and she found herself arguing with him more than ever.
Yet finally she could keep herself away no longer, and while she managed to work herself into a considerable huff beforehand, she still spend much time to make herself as beautiful as she could and donned a lovely, finely embroidered silk chemise. Jareth's bedroom was empty, and Sarah stomped to the door of his adjacent study to find the goblin king reading in a chair before the fireplace.
"I admit, I had hoped for less than a sennight, but you are making progress, Sarah," and he rose from his chair and drew her into a lingering kiss. "If you keep up your momentum, it should not take long until you manage to force yourself to submit to my evil ways every night, my sweet." He drew her onto his lap as he sat down in his chair again, and offered her a glass of firewine. Sarah smiled at him, all her anger gone in a heartbeat when she saw him, and she tucked under her feet and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"It must have been a fear of a fate worse than death that kept me away," she said as she drank the firewine.
"Undoubtedly," he replied amusedly. "Why is it, Sarah, that you cannot ever accept anything to do with me without having to fight? "
She looked at him with guarded eyes even as a smile danced on her lips. "I don't know, Jareth. Perhaps because you are a manipulative bastard? Don't pretend you have never thought of using me, my power, make me do your bidding. And it would be so easy to give in to you." Her hand touched his face by its own volition, and her eyes went wide and black as she followed the line of his nose and eyebrows. "Around you, I am just another human who is drawn to a Fae, no better than the pets of the Matagan Fae."
Jareth ran his fingers along her jaws and down her throat, and his eyes were as black as her's. "I feel no pity, my sweet. Why should you be in a better position than I am? And imagine the pain for a Fae to find the roles reversed." He grinned at her irrepressibly as he pulled her closer into a kiss, and it effectively ended any discussion for the time being.
And still, Jareth was right, it did take Sarah a good few weeks before she finally caved and came to his room every night, and it took her even longer to stop complaining about it. Yet to her surprise he acquiesced to her need for control and let her be, and as passionate and all-consuming as their encounters were, he never demanded anything of her but what she offered of her own free will, and he did not ask her anything but what she told him without prompting. Sarah did not know what it meant, nor did she truly trust it, but her hunger for his presence was too strong for her let it stop her.
Yet as the days got longer and the snow began to thaw, Sarah felt the pull of the road again, and even the bone-deep need she had for Jareth began to dwarf against her desire for solitude, and she began to dream of traveling again. And still her desire and joy of Jareth' companionship kept her in the goblin city as Beltain approached.
But one night, in the early hours of the morning, when the night is at its darkest and coldest and only the light of the waning moons lights the darkness, the goblin queen sat wrapped tightly in the arms of the goblin king in the window of his tower, and he rested his head against her neck as she chided him about some argument or other they had had the day before.
"You will never stay with me in the goblin city, will you, Sarah?" She was leaning bonelessly against his chest, his right leg hot against her side while his other leg dangled down the ledge. His voice was low and held no rancor or accusation.
Sarah went rigid for a heartbeat, then melted into his embrace again. "It is what I am, goblin king, but you must know that I did not choose it so. When I stay too long in a place, awake and myself, I have the unbearable need to feel the sun and the on my skin, and I need to leave the crowds behind me so I can be alone in my mind with the labyrinth. I hunger for silence. I have lived thus in the Underground since I came here, and I cannot change myself, as little as you can change who you are." As she leaned against him, she lifted her hand and wrapped it around his neck behind her, pulling him closer.
"But I swear, I will always come back to you, Jareth."