Chapter two

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

Edwards POV

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight.

"Come on Edward, it's time to get up. Don't make me come back in here." I could faintly hear my mom trying to wake me up, but this sleep was just too good to get up from just yet. I heard her sigh then a few seconds later my door close. Of course, the peace and quiet couldn't last.

"Edward! Come on, were leaving in fifteen minutes." I heard the chirpy voice of my sister, Alice, as she jumped on my bed. "Knock it off Alice." I mumbled into my pillow. She didn't say anything but I knew that she was still here because she didn't stop jumping. After only a very short few seconds I threw my blanket to the floor and sat up. "Fine Alice! I'm up!" I screamed at her. She sat down on the bed, not even caring that I just yelled at her.

"You look like crap Edward." I rolled my eyes at her. "How late did you stay up last night?" I shrugged. "I left Tanya's at a little after two, I think. We were drinking. Really Alice, I don't know. Honestly, it doesn't even matter anyway." "Edward, you need to stop drinking. I miss the old you. Look at yourself, you're still drunk!"

Was I? Oh well.

Please, just talk-"I cut her. I already knew what she was going to say and I didn't want to hear it. "I don't need your help Alice. Leave me alone." I was going to tell her to get out of my room but I knew she wouldn't, so I got off my bed, grabbed some clothes off of the floor. Not really caring if they were clean or not, then went across the hall the bathroom to get dressed.

I got dressed quickly then left the house. I didn't want to hear my mom's speech again today. I knew she loved me and meant well, but she loved me to. Love is just a meaningless word to me now. I wasn't capable of feeling it. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I want to.

I use to love. But it seems every time I do, I lose the people I love most. So, if I don't love anyone, it won't hurt when their gone.

I drove to school doing 120 mph, like always. Alice wanted me to ride with her Emmett, but honestly, I wasn't in the mood to put up with Emmett's sarcastic comments.

Alice doesn't think I drive safe, and I knew in my heart that she was right, that it was a bad idea to drive so reckless. But, my mind loved the idea.

A crash.

I wanted to smile and cry at the same time.

I pulled into my normal parking spot at the school and reached under my seat. I pulled out the brand new bottle of vodka I stashed under there last night. I drank at least half of the bottle before getting out and going into the school.

I was standing by my locker when I heard someone say "hey baby." I turned around to see who it was.

"What do you want, Lauren?" I really didn't care if I hurt her feelings or not. She was just another easy lay. "You know, you don't have to be so rude all the time, Edward." I shrugged and opened my locker. I grabbed my books and I heard Lauren huff and stomp away.

She was probably right though. I didn't need to be so ride all the time. But I wanted people to hate me.

I deserved to be hated.

By the end of second period I already wanted to beat my face off of the nearest wall. Within that two hour time period Jessica tried to grope me, Tanya wanted a repeat performance from the night before, and I kept falling asleep so my teachers were nagging at me to pay attention.

"Hey sexy." I heard from behind me as I walked down the hall toward my next class. I smiled because I knew the voice well. "Hi Leah." I said as I walked up to her and put my arms around her waist. "Want to go to my car?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

"That was great, like always." She said as she buttoned her shirt back up. She tried to kiss me but I pushed her away. All I really wanted was a drink. So, I pulled my bottle of vodka from under my seat and took a drink. "Jeeze Edward, I just had sex with you and you won't even kiss me?" She asked angrily. I shrugged and took another drink of the vodka. The familiar burn in my throat felt good.

I heard my car door slam and watched as Leah stomped past the front of my car.

Really, I could care less. She'll come back sooner or later. She always does.

I heard the lunch bell ring so I chugged down the rest of the vodka and stumbled my way into the cafeteria to have lunch with my siblings and there significant others. If I had it my way I would of stayed in my car for the hour, but I knew Alice would come looking for me.

"You look like crap and smell like sex and liquor." Emmett said as I sat down at our normal lunch table. "Shut up." I mumbled. I noticed that Alice wasn't here yet. That explains why it was so quiet. I decided to lay my head on the table and pretend to sleep before Alice made her appearance and tried to talk to me.

I closed my eyes tight as I possibly could and tried to ignore the world around me.

"Edward!" I jumped up and rubbed my face. "What the hell Alice?" I asked as I looked down at the carrot that was thrown at me. Opps, I must have dosed off.

"I want you to meet my new friend, Bella." I stopped rubbing my face and snapped my head up to look at the girl she was talking about. She was absolutely beautiful, yet plain at the same time. She had plain long brown, slightly curly hair, but something about the way it hung down her back, or how it framed her face made it special.

What caught my attention the most were her eyes. They were deep brown, but it wasn't the color that caught my attention, no, it was the sadness in them. I knew that because I could see it in mine too.

I quickly snapped out of my daze and smirked at her once I noticed her gawking at me.

"Hello Bella. I'm Edward, Alice's cooler brother." I heard Emmett cough from across the table and I watched as Alice rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever." Alice said and turned back to Bella. She started firing questions at her and after a little while so did everyone else. I rolled my eyes and laid my head back down on the table.

I tried with all my might to get back to sleep but I was intrigued by Bella. Every word she spoke drew my attention to her.

I shook my head, hoping I could shake the thoughts away.

It didn't work.

Thankfully, the warning bell rang and I could leave and be free from my thoughts of Bella.

Now, I was standing by Tanya's locker, waiting for her to get back from her quickie with mike in his SUV. Just as I was about to give up and leave, she came strolling around the corner in her very tight jean skirt and low, skin tight, tank top. She was running her fingers through her hair, trying to fix it. She smiled at me when she noticed me leaning against the wall by her locker.

"Hello Edward. What do I owe this great honor?" She asked as she bent over to pick up the pen she "accidently" dropped, showing me a bit of her butt. My jaw dropped.

No panties.

I cleared my throat.

"I'll be at your place at seven, with beer." She smiled. "I'll see you then." She walked away shaking her hips a little too much.

Because of my little chat with Tanya I was running late. I practically ran to my biology class.

I walked in to the room and noticed my usually empty table was not so empty.

It was Bella.

As soon as she seen me she looked down at the table top.

I walked over and sat down beside her, frustrated with myself. I shouldn't, no I wouldn't have these feelings for Bella. It wasn't fair to her. And besides, Edward Cullen doesn't date. He just likes a good time, and a good time only.

No strings attached.

I could feel Bella's eyes on me so I turned to glare at her. "Like what you see?" I asked with a smirk. "Not really." She said and turned back to face the front of the class room. I started at her in shock.

No one has ever said that to me.

Normally, if I asked a girl that they would be all over me in a heartbeat.

Not this girl.

I couldn't decide if I was mad at her or amazed.

Bella didn't talk to me, or even look at me for the rest of class.

"Hey baby. Are you still coming over tonight?" Tanya asked me in the hallway after school, loud enough for all the girls around us could hear.

"Tanya, why do you do that?" I asked, frustrated. "Because I want everyone to know your mine." That's where I draw the line. "I'm not yours!" I screamed and ran past her into the school parking lot. I got in my car and started to drive.

After a good hour of driving aimlessly I pulled over to the side of the road and went to the trunk to see if I had anything to drink. Luck was on my side because there were three bottles of strawberry coolers.

I chugged them back in no time at all and then again, started driving. I knew it was a bad idea but at the moment, I didn't care.

Does anybody?

No.

Well there it is, chapter two. Enjoy and please review. Reviews make me want to write faster : )

xoxo