episode 2: FullMetal Alchemist

"GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY! Welcome to Whose Line: Anime Style! On tonight's show... Go, shorty! Edward Elric! Mr. Roboto, Alphonse Elric! Hit me with your best shot! Winry Rockbell! And, I wanna be bad. Lust!

"I'm your hostess, Dragon of Venus, so what the heck am I doin' up here?'!" I walked down from the audience, laughing to myself, and sat down at my desk as usual. Then again, it's only the second time I've done this, so it's not very usu-- nevermind.

"So welcome to Whose Line: Anime Style, where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Yeah, the points don't mean a thing, just like that padded bra Lust keeps in her closet." Lust shot a glare at me. "Alllrighty, so if you've never seen the show before, see chapter one." I laughed, then immediately put on a serious face. "No, really, I don't feel like repeating myself. (a/n: I'm leaving the laughter up to you guys now. think ya can handle it?)... Anyway, let's start off with a game called 'Hollywood Director.' This is for everyone, so c'mon up, guys."

The four stood up and walked down to the stage. I went on, "So in this game, Al, Ed, and Winry are gonna act out a scene. Lust is a big-time Hollywood movie director, and she's gonna cut in every now and then and tell you guys to act out the scene in a different kinda way. And the scene is..." I looked at the card slyly. "Hm... Winry and Ed are coming back from a date when Al ambushes them, and threatens to rob Ed of his 'priceless' automail arm. So whenever you guys are ready, go ahead and start."

Ed blushed, looking embarrassed. Al's eyes widened in surprise/shock. Laughing, Winry grabbed Ed's hand and they pretended to walk across the stage.

"I had a really good time tonight," Winry smiled.

"Yeah, I did, too," said Ed.

"...So, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Sure."

Al then jumped onto the stage with a "HA!", causing Winry to 'shriek.' Al grabbed Ed reluctantly by the collar of his jacket and pulled him to his side. "Don't move, missy," he said to Winry.

"W-What are you doing?" she asked.

"You know how many people are looking for this kind of thing?" He held up Ed's right arm. "If I can get this, I'll be rich."

Ed and Winry gulped. At that moment, Lust stormed onto the stage shouting, "CUT, CUT, CUT! That was pathetic! What were you guys thinking doing a scene like that?"

"But you wrote it--" Al began.

"Shut up!" Lust interrupted. "Now, listen, people, we need to make this more interesting, there has to be a better way to do that scene... I got it! Do it in slow-motion!... Action!" With that, she walked off the stage, and the others re-did the scene. Ed and Winry started walking again, only much slower this time.

"III haaaaad aaa grreeeaaat tiiiiimme," said Winry.

"III diiiiid tooooooo," Ed replied. Al then walked over slowly, as if he were stepping over a giant boulder, and grabbed Ed once again.

"Doooooonnn't mooooooovve," he told Winry.

"CUT! CUT!" Lust stomped back over. "That was ridiculous, what were you thinking?'!"

"My throat hurts," said Ed.

"I don't care. How else can we do the scene?... That's it! Do it super-fast! Okay... action!" She ran off the stage.

Ed and Winry started walking again, only very fast this time. Not quite running, but not quite strolling either, y'know? "Ihadareallygoodtime," Winry said in a chipmunk-like voice.

"Yeahmetoo," Ed responded in the same tone.

Al ran up to them and grabbed Ed. "HAdon'tmove!" He, too, was talking in a helium-enduced voice.

"Whatareyoudoing?" asked Chipmunk Winry.

Lust walked over again. "CUT! Dear God, that was the stupidest thing I've ever seen!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, it was your idea," Winry informed her.

"Eh!" Lust held up a hand in Winry's face to shut her up. "Y'know, we need something that kids will like... Yes, I've got it! Do it like Scooby-Doo!"

"What?'!" Ed exclaimed.

"You heard me... Action!" Lust left, and the scene started again.

"Like, are you sure this'll work, Velma?" Ed asked Winry.

"Trust me, if this doesn't get the Dark Alchemist out, Shaggy, nothing will," she responded.

Ed --who had apparently changed his name-- sighed, and held out his right arm. Sure enough, the 'Dark Alchemist', Al, jumped out. Winry, or should I say Velma, fake-punched him, and he fell to his knees.

"Now let's see who he really is!" she shouted. Ed yanked off Al's helmet, and he and Winry gasped, seeing nothing there (quite a shock, isn't it?).

"Zoinks!" Ed exclaimed, rather unenthusiastically. "It's Dr. Invisible!"

"Yeah," Al grunted. "And I woulda gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dog."

Winry spoke up after about a second of silence. "We don't have the dog. Sorry."

"Dang it."

"CUT!" Lust shouted once again. "I have three words for you people: Pa. The. Tic!"

"...Heh?" Ed asked.

"I don't wanna hear a word outta you!"

"Okay."

"Now, what else can we do?... ...Oh, that's perfect! Do the entire scene backwards." Al started to say something before Lust got in his face. "Unless that's a problem."

"No, ma'am," Al squeaked.

"Anyway... action!"

Al grabbed Ed by his shirt, Winry looking on from a few feet away. Al then started talking backwards (or trying, at least), before releasing Ed and walking backwards off the stage. Ed straightened himself up and stood next to Winry, the two of them talking 'backwards' as well the entire time.

"CUT, CUT!"

Bzz! Bzz!

With that, the game ended, and the four went back to their seats.

"Nice job, guys," I smiled. "Thousand points each." Then I mumbled, "Not like they mean anything... Anyway! Let's move onto a game called Questions Only. Once again, all four of you." The guys got back up and walked off to the sides of the stage, somehow knowing exactly what to do. Hmm...

Anyway...

"So, this game is pretty self-explanatory. You guys are gonna act out a scene, but you can only speak in questions. If you don't, I buzz you out, and the other person comes up. And the scene is... (look at card) a concert. So whenever you guys are ready, go ahead."

Lust walked down from one side of the stage, Ed from the other.

Lust: "Don't you love this song?"

Ed: "What is it?"

Lust: "You telling me you can't hear it?"

Ed: "How the heck can ya hear anything over all this screaming?"

Lust: "What'd you say?"

Ed: "I said-- Crud."

Bzz!

Ed walked away, and Al took his place.

Al: "So whaddya think of this band?"

Lust: "What do I think of them?"

Al: "Are ya deaf?"

Lust: "So what if I am?"

Al: "How can you be deaf if you can hear what I'm saying?"

Lust: "Would you believe me if I said I was only deaf in one ear?"

Al: "Is that possible?"

Lust: "...Maybe."

Bzz!

Winry: "Are we still talking about a concert here?"

Al: "...What does it sound like we're talking about?"

Winry: "Doesn't it seem like you're talking about anything but the concert?"

Al: "What concert?"

Winry: "What?"

Al: "What what?"

Winry: ". . . (laughs)"

Bzz!

Al: "Where have you been?"

Lust: "Couldn't ya see I was getting a drink?"

Al: "They're selling food here?"

Lust: "You didn't notice?"

Al: "Could you get me some popcorn?"

Lust: "Whaddyou think this is, a movie?"

Al: "Isn't it?"

Lust: "...What?"

Al: "..."

Bzz!

Ed: "Is that the same band as before?"

Lust: "Have you noticed you and Winry haven't been in the same scene in this game yet?"

Ed: "What's it to ya?"

Lust: (walks away)

...Bzz!

Winry: "When did you get here?"

Ed: "Have you been here this whole time?"

Winry: "Didn't you notice?"

Ed: "Where were you?"

Winry: "Didn't you hear me cheering like a maniac behind you?"

Ed: "Oh, that was you?"

Winry: "...You think the guitarist is prettier than me?"

Ed: "Why would I think that?"

Winry: "Do you know how sweet that was?"

Ed: "...No I don't."

Bzz, bzz!

Winry hugged Ed quickly before going back to their seats with the others. "That was great," I smiled. "A thousand points to Lust for playin' matchmaker, and another thousand to Ed for being so sweet." Ed smiled proudly. "So, let's go on to a game called Two-Line Vocabulary. This one's for Lust, Ed, and Winry." The three got up. "And, the way this game works is you three are gonna act out a scene, but Lust and Ed can only say two lines. Winry can say whatever she wants. Ed, your lines are 'when did that happen?' and 'that's not fair;' Lust, your lines are 'don't I wish' and 'that's mine.' The scene is... Winry is training secret agent recruits Ed and Lust while on a life-or-death mission to save the emperor of a small country. So whenever you guys are ready, go ahead."

Winry started off the game. "Okay, guys, this is the most important mission you'll ever be on, and it just may cost you your life."

"That's not fair!" said Ed.

"I know," replied Winry, "it seems kinda stupid that you first mission would be so risky, right?"

"Don't I wish," Lust said

Winry looked confused for a moment. "...What the heck is that supposed to mean?" There was silence before she went on-- well, except for me laughing a little. "Oh-kay, um, you guys know what to do?"

"Don't I wish," repeated Lust.

"Okay..." Winry pulled out a 'map'. "We go here, break through there, knock them down, turn at this, jump over that, grab the emperor and escape through there, and our transportation should be right here. Got it?"

"Don't I wish."

Winry smacked her head.

"...When did that happen?" asked Ed.

"It's been happening this whole time, Ed!" exclaimed Winry. "Where have you been?"

"That's not fair," Ed responded, giving her a sad look.

Winry sighed. "You're right, I shouldn't yell at you, I'm sorry." Then --you ready?-- she hugged him.

"Aaaaaaawwww." I'll give ya one guess who that was: it starts with 'me' and ends with 'me.' I'll kill ya if you got it wrong. (please note that I'm kidding, but I would appreciate it if you were right)

"That's mine!" said Lust.

Winry gave her a strange look. "No it's not!"

"When did that happen?"

Winry huffed. "Forget it, let's just get the mission over with. And don't say anything, either of you!"

"That's no--"

"Shh!" hissed Winry.

"That's not fair!" Ed whispered.

"Yes it is. I have a sneaking suspicion that if one of you even opens your mouths, something's gonna go wrong."

"Don't I wish."

Winry looked at Lust, obviously annoyed. "You know you're not making the slightest amount of sense here?'!... Okay, let's just get in there." She pulled open a door.

"That's mine."

Winry sweatdropped. "No, Lust. It's not yours... Oh, hey, look at that, the emperor's right here. Ed, grab him and we can get outta here."

"When did that happen?" asked Ed.

Winry shrugged. "Got me."

With that, Ed grabbed up the emperor and they started running away.

Bzz, bzz!

The three went back to their seats. I smiled. "Nice job, guys. Thousand points each. Especially for the hug." Winry smiled proudly. Ed just blushed. "Okay, we'll be right back with Whose Line: Anime Style! Don't go anywhere and don't forget to review!"