(February 20, 7:16 pm)

I can't even begin to describe how much I adore Toradora! It's so hilarious and sweet and emotional and... gah! I can't even. If you're a romantic comedy/high school drama/Rie Kugimiya fan, watch it.
Anyway, I literally started working on this chapter the day after I finished the series. Hope you all enjoy it!

episode 4: Toradora!

"GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY! Welcome to Whose Line: Anime Style! On tonight's show... Best eyes, Ryuuji Takasu! Cutest and scariest, Taiga Aisaka! Most unpredictable, Minori Kushieda! And, most likely to snap, Yuusaku Kitamura! I'm your hostess, Dragon of Venus! Did ya miss me?" I happily bounced down the steps and landed at my desk, beaming. "Hey, everybody! Welcome to the all-new Whose Line: Anime Style!" The audience applauded. "What's so new about it, you may ask?..." I rubbed the back of my neck and went on a bit awkwardly, "Nothing, really, except that I'm actually updating it."

Without warning, Kitamura burst into a fit of laughter. The studio fell silent.

"...It wasn't that funny, dude," I said.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Hence, most likely to snap.

I cleared my throat. "Alright, well, uh, it's great to have you guys," I smiled. "I'm glad you all could make it out here."

"Ex-cuse me!"

Curiously, I looked around the studio. I thought I recognized the voice, but I couldn't quite tell who it was. "Who said...?"

"AHEM!"

I looked into the audience and saw an angry head of long, blue hair pop up. I flashed a fake grin. "Oh, hi, Ami. Nice of you to come, too."

"Cut the crap!" she snapped, and my smile vanished as she pointed at the set. "I'm just as important as the rest of them! Why didn't you invite me to be on the show?"

"'Cause I don't like you," I said flatly.

She huffed and sat back down.

I went to junior high with a girl like Ami... She was the reason I hated junior high.

I turned back to the performers and continued, "Okay, we're gonna get things started tonight with a game for everybody called Weird Newscasters." The group walked out to the stage, taking two stools with them. "Okay, for this game, you guys are gonna be hosting a news show. Ryuuji, you're the anchor, so take a seat. Taiga, you're his co-anchor, so sit next to him." I went on as the two took their respective seats, "Thing is, in this game, everyone but Ryuuji has a weird trait about them, so, Taiga, you are the crazed president of the Ryuuji Takasu fanclub... Oh, and your character for the game is, you're the crazed president of the Ryuuji Takasu fanclub." I giggled.

Taiga didn't.

"...Right. Uh, Minori, you're covering sports, and you are... the Black Knight from Monty Python, fighting a worthy adversary." Minori nodded thoughtfully while I shook my head. That was the last time I let my sister make character suggestions. "And, Kitamura, you'll be doing weather, and-" I chuckled, looking at the card. "You are Light Yagami throughout Death Note."

Kitamura raised his eyebrows curiously. "What, like, beginning to end?"

"Yup."

He grinned. "I can work with this..."

Already, I didn't like where this was headed. "I'm sure you can. So, uh, Ryuuji, whenever you're ready, go ahead and start us off."

I noticed Ryuuji frowning slightly as I talked to him. "Why didn't I get a quirk?" I heard him mutter.

"Because you can't act," was Taiga's simple reply.

"I can act!"

"Shut it, stupid Chihuahua!"

"Care to say that again, shrimp?"

I gulped, fearing things were about to get ugly. "Ryuuji, seriously, sometime today!"

He nodded, then faced the audience -while holding back Taiga- and said loudly, "Hello, and welcome to the 5:04 news. I'm your anchor, Aizen Thebackofmyhead." I stifled a laugh. Even if Ryuuji supposedly "couldn't act," he was pretty funny. "Tonight's top story: a woman gives birth on the Knock-Up Stream... You make the joke."

Among the laughter, I could hear Luffy saying from the audience, "I don't get it."

I then heard Nami reply, "Good."

Taiga took a deep breath as Ryuuji continued, "And now over to my co-anchor-"

"OH MY GOD, IT'S REALLY YOU!" she screamed, now completely in character. (I think... I hope...) Ryuuji nearly fell off his stool. Taiga gasped. "I can't believe I'm sitting right next to you, this is so exciting! I never thought- Can I touch you?"

"...I'd rather you didn't," he said, looking at her warily. "Uhh, let's find out what's going on in the-"

Poke.

Taiga squealed.

Ryuuji's eye twitched. "...In the world of sports. Kushieda?"

Minori stood attentively at her post, an imaginary sword in her hands. "Thank you, good sir," she said, faking a British accent (quite well, I might add). "'Tis an uproarious day in the world of sports, for there has been a great upset in the long-running winning streak of everyone's favorite baseball team. Many fans doubt the team can recover from their tough loss, but to them I say... ni!"

I leaned over my desk to whisper to her, "Wrong character."

She sharply turned her head, glaring at me. "You wish to challenge me?"

"...What? No! I was just saying-"

Minori drew her 'sword' and pointed it right between my eyes. "Show me your weapon, my fine fellow!"

My eyes darted around the set. "...Uhhh..." Then, not knowing what else to do, I fake-ripped her arm off. "...Take that!"

Quickly sticking her arm behind her back, Minori stumbled backward a few steps, but her expression didn't falter. "You put up a good fight," she said, "but I've yet to lose!"

With a smirk, I got up, walked over to her, and fake-ripped off her other arm. Then I snapped my fingers in her face, in classic drama queen fashion. "What now!"

Minori hid her other arm and made a small 'clang' noise to mark her sword hitting the floor. "You are indeed a worthy adversary. But by the Order of the Black Knight, I've no choice but to fight you to the death, tear your body limb from limb, and sell your arms and legs on-"

"Minori, we only got so long here," I muttered.

"...Oh." There was silence. Then she collapsed. I stared at her for a second, then motioned to her 'lifeless' body for the audience, who applauded. I bowed before heading back to my desk as Minori poked her head up and called out, "Back to you!"

At the moment, Ryuuji was trying his best to avoid Taiga's saucer-sized eyes peering into his soul. "Thanks for that thrilling report. And now why don't we go over to the weather? Kitamura?"

With a bored yawn, Kitamura nodded to Ryuuji. "Yeah, thanks," he mumbled. "Well, this week, some clouds are rolling in, so we can expect a heavy rainfall on Mo-" Suddenly, Kitamura glanced to the floor, then bent down and picked up an imaginary book. "What's this?" He flipped through the pages curiously before shrugging and standing up, still holding the book. He went on absent-mindedly, writing in the book, "We can, uh, expect some rain on Monday, so be prepared. And later in-" His head shot up and his eyes widened. "Dude, that guy just died."

"I don't talk like that," the real Light scoffed from the audience.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped, spinning in my chair to face him.

He shot me a challenging look. "What, I'm not allowed to be here?"

I groaned. "Forget it, I am not having this conversation with you. Sorry, Kitamura, continue."

Kitamura nodded. "Thank you." He then turned his head a fraction of an inch (which meant, I assume, he was now back in character) and went on, staring at the book in his hand. "Now, it may seem dark and rainy at first, but later in the week, the sky will clear up, and THERE WILL BE A NEW RULER OF THIS WORLD!... I mean... sun. The- the sky's gonna clear up and there will be sun." He grinned. Good, no one will suspect me now...

I looked around the studio. Had Kitamura just projected his thoughts?... I wish I could have said it surprised me, but honestly...

Kitamura cackled. "By the weekend, the world's criminals will all be dead, and the people of the world will be safe from harm, thanks to ME! YES! I AM KIRA! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" He then mimed a rather dramatic act of getting shot about five... no, wait, six times... before he gracefully slammed to the floor.

After a brief pause in the action, Ryuuji announced, "This just in: if you're going to imitate a well-known character, make sure you've seen more than just the first and last episode of their show."

Taiga let out a loud, almost maniacal laugh. "You are SO funny!" she exclaimed, giving him what I guess was supposed to be a playful shove. It wound up knocking Ryuuji out of his seat and sending him crashing to the floor. He stood up and continued, "Well, that's all for the 5:04 news, join-"

"Wait!" Kitamura croaked from his spot on the floor. "I- I'm not dead yet!"

Minori shot up and stormed over to him, her arms still behind her back. "Oh, quoting my movie now, are you?" she snapped, accent and all, before she started kicking him.

Ignoring them (and Taiga, who was now playing with his hair), Ryuuji quickly went on, "Join us next week, same time, same place. Goodnight."

I buzzed the game out, and the gang returned to their seats to wild applause from the audience. "A thousand points to Minori and Kitamura. Look out, Broadway."

As Minori smiled proudly, Kitamura asked, "A thousand to split, or-"

"No, each."

"Oh, cool."

"Yeah. Okay, we're gonna move on now to a game called Infomercial. This game is gonna be for Minori and Ryuuji."

The pair stood up and walked back down. Ryuuji moved a table from off to the side of the stage to the center, and Minori grabbed a box full of mystery objects and placed it behind the table.

"First of all, yes, the table and the box were there this whole time, don't even try to deny it," I went on, to no one in particular. "Anyway, in this game, Ryuuji and Minori are going to be two salespeople trying to talk up a new miracle product. Now, what I need from somebody in the audience is a bad habit or a flaw you might have."

"Annoying laugh!" someone was quick to shout.

"Annoying laugh, I like it," I replied. "Of course, I wouldn't know anything about having an annoying laugh. HAH HAH HAH HAH!"

Silence.

I narrowed my eyes. "It was a joke, people."

"Was it? Was it really?"

"Shut up!" I shouted at Ami. "God... and you wonder why I didn't let you on the show?" A moment later, I felt a round object pelt me in the head. I looked down and saw a Pokéball at my feet. I picked it up and looked incredulously at Ami. "Really?" She just shrugged in response. I groaned and tossed the ball to Ryuuji. "Here. Do something with it."

He caught it curiously and put it in the box. "Okay..."

"Alright," I went on once I had recomposed myself, "so, once again, you guys are selling a product to get rid of an annoying laugh, so as soon as you're ready, go ahead."

Ryuuji smiled at the audience. "Hi!"

"Does your laugh scare small children?" Minori asked loudly.

"Are people constantly trying to cover your mouth with duct tape?" added Ryuuji.

Minori went on, slamming the table for good measure (and startling her scene partner in doing so), "Well, worry not! Because we are going to show you just how to get rid of that cackle!"

"That's right!" Ryuuji stuck his hand in the box and pulled out Sakura's staff (from Cardcaptor Sakura). "So, Kushieda, how does this fix an annoying laugh?"

"Well," she replied, taking it from his hand, "this is the first step to fixing the problem: discipline. If your friend's laugh is getting on your nerves, just..." She then jabbed the staff into Ryuuji's side, causing his to jump away from her in fright. "...poke 'em a few times, and they'll get the hint!"

Ryuuji slowly walked back over, rubbing his hip. "Exactly." He cautiously took the staff and cast it aside. He then picked up a coin purse in the shape of a frog, much like the one Naruto owned. "But what if that doesn't work?"

"Why don't you tell us, Takasu?"

"Well, in that case, all you have to do is muffle the sound." He opened the purse and stuck it over his mouth. Almost immediately, he dropped it on the table, smacking his lips, as if he was trying to get rid of a nasty taste in his mouth.

"You okay?" Minori asked quietly.

He nodded, wincing. "Yeah, I think there was still some money in there."

"Ew..."

Oh yeah. That was what I had to do before the show.

I lowered my head sheepishly. "Sorry!"

"No, it's fine," Ryuuji replied, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Anyway..." As he spoke, Minori pulled a mechanical arm out of the box and set it on the table. "Whaddya have there, Kushieda?"

She looked at it in silence for a few seconds, then shrugged. "I don't know."

It was at this moment that Edward Elric ran out of the audience and grabbed the arm. "I've been looking for that!" he shouted, reattaching it to his shoulder as he went back to his seat.

There was an awkward pause between the two. Then Minori chuckled, "That was weird."

"Yeah," Ryuuji muttered in response. Then he faced the audience and exclaimed, "But wait! If you order this product right now, we'll throw in..." He held up Ami's Pokéball. "...this thing!"

Minori gasped. "What does that do?"

"I have no idea!" He then chucked the ball into the audience, eliciting a loud "Ow!" from an unknown source. (Could've been Tamaki. I'm not sure, though.)

With a loud sigh, Minori went on. "Y'know, these methods don't always work like they should. And if that happens, well... sometimes you have to take more drastic measures." She reached into the box with a rather sinister look on her face... and pulled out a Death Note and Zabimaru. (Yay, Bleach reference!) After successfully getting everyone in the studio to express some form of terror/amusement (there were some messed-up people in that audience), she laughed. "I'm just kidding!"

Among everybody's relieved/disappointed reactions (again, messed-up people), I buzzed the game over, and the two returned to their seats. Ryuuji quickly gulped down a glass of water, most likely to get rid of the metallic taste still in his mouth.

I drummed my fingers on my desk in annoyance, then shouted, "Alright, who put the Death Note in the box?"

I could faintly hear Light whistling innocently.

"I blame myself for not seeing it coming, really," I groaned, putting a hand to my head before resuming my cheerful disposition. "Anyway, uh, a thousand points to all the people I stole those things from... Except Light, who is thisclose to getting himself kicked out of the studio... So, yeah, thanks for not killing me, guys!" No sooner had the words left my mouth than Sakura, Naruto, Light, and Renji descended upon the stage and took back their respective belongings. "Seriously, I appreciate it."

Renji gave me the stink eye.

"...My sister's a big fan!... Call her!" I cleared my throat. "Okay... Now let's move onto one of my favorite games, Scenes From A Hat!" I pulled out my trusty top hat full of scenes as the four split up into pairs and walked down to either side of the stage. "So the way this game works is, I have written down a bunch of random scenes -some anime-related, some not- and put them in this hat for these guys to act out. We'll start with..." I pulled out a piece of paper and read, "Soul Society shinigami in other jobs."

Kitamura stepped down, taking Minori with him. He extended his hand for her to shake, a menacing smile on his face. "Hello, I'm Dr. Kurotsuchi."

I gave a very loud shudder as I slammed the buzzer. "Creepy!" Kitamura shrugged as he and Minori stepped back.

The next scene made me giggle. "Anime characters who shouldn't try out for American Idol."

"We're from Japan..." Ryuuji pointed out awkwardly.

I shrugged it off. "Go with it."

Kitamura stepped down again. "Hello, I'm Dr. Kurotsuchi."

Bzz!

Following him, Minori stepped onstage and started singing, "Excalibuuuuuurr... Excalibuuuuuuurrr..."

As he stepped back, Taiga went down and said, sounding bashful, "Well, I'm a model, and I'm kind of an airhead sometimes, but..."

Sensing the oncoming bloodbath, I ducked under my desk. It was funny, sure, but that didn't mean Ami wouldn't try to kill her. Among the string of "lemme at her"s coming out of the audience, it occured to me to reach up and hit the buzzer. I know, I was a little late on that one, but I can't think under pressure! When the mini-chaos died down, I popped back up and wisely (or so I thought) reached back into the hat.

"Oh no... 'Things short people are sick of hearing.'" Instinctively, I looked at Taiga. She seemed more than a little... let's say "irked." That's a fun word.

Ryuuji willingly stepped down, pulling Taiga with him (who, obviously, was not so willing). He turned to face her and said, eyeing her with mock disinterest, "Go out with you?... Grow a couple feet and then we'll talk."

Taiga's eyebrow twitched as Ryuuji retreated. She went to follow him, but Kitamura took his place and held her arm, so as to keep her from leaving. She rolled her eyes. Kitamura patted her head and cooed, "Oh, aren't you the cutest little thing!" Despite her attempt at a smile, when I looked closely I was able to see a vein throbbing in Taiga's forehead.

Minori stepped down, beckoning for the others to join her. Ryuuji, Kitamura, and Taiga stood huddled together while Minori positioned herself separate from them. "Kitamura, party of two..." She then noticed Taiga and went on, "I'm sorry, two and a half..."

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I could see steam blowing from Taiga's ears. When everyone stepped back, I decided to do the angelic thing and stuck my hand into the hat again. "Okay, I'll stop," I smiled.

Taiga flashed an evil grin... Yeah, I was a little scared. But I wasn't gonna let her know that.

"...Heheh. 'If Sebastian had made a contract with someone other than Ciel.'"

Kitamura waved to Ryuuji, suggesting he join him on this one. When both guys were onstage, facing each other, Kitamura looked Ryuuji over and said, "Your hair is terribly asymmetrical." In retaliation, Ryuuji fake-punched his scene partner in the face. After Kitamura fake-reeled from his fake-punch, they both went back.

"Sebastian would punch Death the Kid?" I snickered.

Ryuuji shrugged. "Maybe."

"Okay..."

Minori went down, again joined by Ryuuji. And again, she whipped out her trusty British accent and said, "Master Ryuuji, are you sure you don't want me to clean the bathroom?"

Scrubbing at a corner of the carpet with his hand, Ryuuji shook his head. "Nope, I got this."

Now that I think about it, Ryuuji would probably make an awesome butler, too... This might have to be a crossover at some point.

"Oh, God, she has an idea," groaned Taiga. (It should be noted that this was the day I learned that I, in fact, do not have what some call a "poker face.")

Ignoring her, I pulled out another piece of paper. I laughed in spite of myself at what was written and read, "What Dragon of Venus is thinking right now."

If Taiga had gone down any faster, she might have missed the stage and run straight into the audience. Instead, she sneered, "Why does Taiga get all the hot guys?"

I'll own up to it: I may have deserved that. I applauded Taiga as I hit the buzzer, ending the game. Among the cheers from the audience, I managed to call out, "We're gonna take a break, but we'll be right back with more Whose Line: Anime Style!"