MONSTER
A GLEE fanfic
By: Something Dysfunctional
Chapter Five: Epic Fail
Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy owns the show and my soul. Damn you.
Okay, seriously, you guys...
ARE AWESOME! The reviews I've been getting lately are nothing short of amazing. -grins- Now, the thing about the fanfiction universe is that we write what we WANT and what I've heard for "GLEE" later on in the series is that my darling Kurt gets a boyfriend, but I DOUBT it will be anything serious. I mean... he'll always have eyes for Finn. But who knows- things have surprised the general public before. XD Like always...
Let's Get Physical!
BY THE WAY! Remember the "High F" in "Defying Gravity"? Oh yeah. I totally hit it.
-
If you could, for a moment, be in my spot like I am now. My fantasy was set before me and my mouth was covered with Finn Hudson's lips like a gift sent from McQueen. I was so overwhelmed that I did the most natural thing-
I responded.
What can I say? Us teenagers have raging hormones.
I might have startled him some, but the next thing I knew, he put much more vigor into the kiss, his hands holding my head in place while my own drifted to rest on his shoulders. This was a dream come true, but I knew I had to break it. Then, I pulled back, panting for air in my lungs as I stared wordlessly at the football player, who stared back, his mouth glistening and eyes smoldering. I shook my head and looked down. "Finn... this isn't right. Something doesn't feel right about this," I mumbled thickly, over-come with emotion. "What are you talking about, Kurt?," Finn asked, slightly hurt, holding me closer.
"This! This, what you're doing! Are you positive you know exactly what you're doing instead of going by what you want physically?," I asked, trying not to drown in his dark brown eyes that loomed over me.
"What do you want me to say, though? I can't be with Quinn because my best friend knocked her up, Rachel has Jesse and has clearly gotten over me, and you... YOU have been on my mind ever since Lady GaGa! Kurt, you're always in my head!," Finn confessed, his voice steely with passion.
I blinked at him with wide eyes, daring to believe everything that fell from his mouth. "You're confused. So confused... you can't think of me when you know once Regionals happen, something is going down and I'll be shoved to the back and you'll be there to save the day with Rachel on your side. I think... you're in love with the "idea" of me, Finn," I blurted out, taking my head away from his hands.
He stood there, stunned, as I moved away from him, walking out of the auditorium. "Until you know exactly what you want, Finn Hudson, come find me. Because if you do, remember what you'll have to deal with once I'm yours. It's not just the Slushies, it's the threats and the teasing... think about it," I told him in a cracked voice, new tears fresh on my face as I tore myself from Finn. As I walked into the darkened backrooms, I knew that I broke something in him.
And my own heart.
But I was doing it sorely for both of us. I knew I wanted him. I knew I loved him. But he doesn't know what or who he wants really.
Once I entered into McKinley's hallways, I joined up with Mercedes and looked as if nothing happened and I didn't cry over my brave, but foolish decision.
Two people would hurt tonight in the same house.
GLEE Club song
-
The lights fix on Kurt as he begins to sing, dressed in a black button down and white pants, his hair ruffled and hands clenched at his side as the club stands behind him, his chorus this time as he opens his mouth to sing one of Paramore's songs"
"Oh no sir,
Well I don't want to be the blame, not anymore.
It's your turn
To take scene for settling the final score and
why do we lie to hurt so much again?
This time,
you have made it harder just to go on,
and why all the possibilities,
well I was wrong."
He jumps around, acting like a rock singers with the Glee member's dancing and singing.
"That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa-!
That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa-!
I drowned out all my sense away the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win."
Kurt turns slightly to look at Finn, who comes to him, all smiles then it vanishes when Kurt ignores him.
"I wonder,
how am I supposed to feel,
when you're not here?
Cause I've earned,
every bridge I've ever built.
When you were here,
I still try,
holding onto silly things I never earned.
Oh why do we lie to hurt so much?
And why,
All the possibilities,
I'm sure you've heard."
"That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa-!
That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa-!
I drowned out all my sense away,
the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win."
Slowly, Kurt approaches Finn, a finger tracing over his chest, almost dauntingly, his eyelashes fluttering as the older teen grins a large smile then is pushed away by who he wants.
"Make your way to me,
to me,
and I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think strange,
this heart will start a riot in me.
Let's start,
start HEY!"
Kurt sings almost mournfully as he reaches for Finn, and instead, turns away, his attention back to the audience, eyes gleaming.
"Why do we lie to hurt so much?
oh why do we lie to hurt so much?"
The chorus backs him up, loudly and hands pumping in the air.
"That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa-!
That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa-!
That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa-!"
Kurt holds himself as he finishes, hunching over with such intensity, he almost burns.
"Now I can't trust myself,
with anything but this,
and that's what you get when you let your heart win.
Whoa...!"
He finishes loudly, so powerful and throws himself down on the stage floor as the bands ends with much energy and gusto as Finn steps away from the chorus and stares at Kurt, sadness etched on his face as the spotlight fades away, leaving them in darkness.
-
Kurt's POV
-
Two days before the lesson was to be done, I sat in my room, holding my sheet music as I studied it. Of course, I knew the song, but I wanted to make sure I would hit every exact note and not hear Rachel say I messed up somewhere. As if. I hummed to myself as I touched the vintage Dior scarf around my neck that Mercedes and myself had found luckily. It was a deep scarlet, almost black in the shadows. The one color Finn had said I looked good in. A coldness crept in my heart and I shuddered at it.
Actually...
we hadn't spoken a word to each other since that day.
All looks were icy, bleak, and empty from both ends. We were only polite when my dad and Carole spoke to one of us and we were in the same room. It was so unbearable, I compared it to Valentino versus Cavalli.
School seemed to not exist in my book.
I sighed quietly and proceeded to get ready for bed, taking care of my nightly ritual of showering, applying my products on my face and easing into comfy clothes. I padded over to my bed, picking up the scarf and got into bed, the lamp near the stairs still on. I laid down with the piece of clothing next to my face as I stared at it. I knew Finn was pissed at me because I didn't give him what he wanted-
I'm pretty sure he was unsure of himself as well, and just going on animal instincts of getting something out of somebody. I squashed out the idea of him running to Rachel after I left him and whimpered, turning my face into my pillow. I tried to think of something pleasant to make me falls asleep early before Finn came down to go to bed. I turned over so my back faced the stairs. 'Go on, Kurt. Fall asleep. Think of Robert Downey Jr.,' I repeated to myself, feeling the faint tingle of sleep in my feet. Then, I heard the thudding of his feet and my heart stopped- nearly.
I gripped my pillow, eyes glued to the wall.
There was something electrifying the air. Oh, no. Finn was still pissed. I pressed my lips together tightly as I heard him shuffling around, mumbling under his breath. Thank God I trained myself to act like I was asleep or else, I could be dead right now. Or worse... no longer apart of Finn's life. The light went off and soon, there was silence. I let out a quiet, shaky breath and waited to see what would happen.
And then, I felt my bed dip.
'Versace, please, don't let him kill me.'
"Kurt... you awake?," Finn asked in a tiny voice, the sound like it was bruised. I pursed my lips in the dark and then spoke, "Yes. What is it?"
"I wanted to... apologize about the other day. I didn't mean to do all of that. I know you're kind of sensitive about things like that. I was a jerk. Can you forgive me?," he pleaded, touching my shoulder. The spark zapped through me and I nearly jolted. "It's not that I'm sensitive, I don't want both of us looking like fools and broken-hearted," I tossed at him, rather bitchy-like. "... remember... that time we were supposed to sing ballads to each other?," Finn brought up, the memory slicing through me like a sharp knife. I drew in a sharp intake of air. "Yes. I do."
"You wanted to sing "I Honestly Love You" and I didn't know exactly how to take that... and when I asked my mom, she let me listen to it. Olivia-Newton John has a good voice still. But, anyway, I listened to the lyrics and... Kurt, I think... I've liked you since you were the only one to stand by me during the preggers situation. And whenever I was sad or upset, you were there. No one else was. I can't ignore something like that," Finn said slowly, almost soothingly. I sat up in bed, trying to focus in the dark. "Why, Finn Hudson, there is some sense in that thick head of yours," I said lightly, teasingly.
"So... do you forgive me?"
"I do forgive you, but did you understand what I was trying to get across?"
"Yeah, I think. Pretty much, no Rachel, no Quinn, no anyone. Just you. It had always been you," he mused, one of his hands finding mine and gave it a small squeeze.
My face grew hot and I ducked my head, biting my bottom lip.
"I can't seem to believe this. It's all happening so fast," I whispered. "Then, let's take it slow," Finn offered, finding my face with his free hand and ran his fingers over the smooth surface of my cheek. I leaned into the touch and closed my eyes.
"Finn... please don't lead me on," I whimpered, still daring to believe.
My mouth sought his and we kissed deeply, fusing together hotly. He was somewhat timid, then got bolder, asking permission to come inside. I opened my mouth to him and tongues danced together, our fingers clutching at one another. I don't know precisely how long we made out, but I do know that later on, sleepily, I woke to find Finn's body beside mine protectively, sleeping away soundly. I smiled stupidly, butterflies waking along my skin. I snuggled into his embrace more and soon, my dreams involved us together, both in designer clothes, and at a beach.
-
And as I stared at my reflection in the mirror in the morning, I was unhappy.
Because everything that happened, what I thought happened... didn't. My dreams were playing tricks on me again and it was now Friday and Finn had yet to speak to me.
-
"Boy, we've had a real good time and
I wish you the best on your way...
Eh Eh, there's nothing else I can say."
-
Damn. That was LOW.
For me, anyway.
Don't worry- Kurt WILL get his in the end. And sorry for the crappy Glee Club sing-along. You know, when they do the numbers on stage and it's all "WHOA! Crazy good and big!" Yeah... mine is LAME. XD
I love you guys!
-the moonlight carries the message of Love.-
Later Days...!
-SD
"That's What You Get"- Paramore
"Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)"- Lady GaGa