MONSTER
A GLEE fanfic
By: Something Dysfunctional
Chapter Eight: Second Thoughts
Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy owns the show and my soul. Damn you.
I am simply in love you with guys! The reviews have been awesome, and you all inspire me more to write. -laughs- I know that the other night was the season finale of GLEE and I DO NOT know what I am going to do without it!-sobs- Well, I do have Season One, Part One to watch over and relive... I think Ill be okay. So, as you can tell from the title... something is going to happen. Whether its good or not, you ll have to read on. The smut is coming soon- I promise! Or... DO I? -grins- Remember, we don t really know what will happen with Kurt and Finn in the end of GLEE all together. I can only pray and hope for the best. -sighs-
Let's Get Physical!
NOTE- I apologize for the lateness. Work has suddenly gotten busier and I had to deal with a death in the family as well.
-
It was not the best of times, nor the best. As I sat on the couch in the living room, hugging a throw pillow to my chest, I watched the end of "The Princess and the Frog" with tears silently running down my cheeks. A half-eaten container of Ben and Jerry s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough on the coffee table was melting while I was surrounded by an army of tissues. Regionals had come and gone... we didn't even place, yet through some kind extension, Coach Sylvester gave us another year of Glee. Not that we weren't grateful, it just meant we had to do better next year when school would start again and we placed at Sectionals AND Regionals to keep the club going. Summer was going off to a great start.
However, that was not the whole reason why I was crying.
It was over Hudson. That's right... he was not Finn to me anymore, it was Hudson. Rachel had snuck back into his heart and the next thing I knew, I was shoved off to the side like some used pair of Manolo Blahnik heels. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around it. He sung this beautiful song with me, said he had no regrets, and once Regionals were over, he disappeared from my life and back into Rachel's. So, here I was- sobbing, eating fattening calories, watching a sappy Disney movie and mooning over the loss of my golden prize. I let the end credits roll and I slumped even further down into the couch, wiping my face. Dad was out with Carole and the Bitch-Gorilla was out with... her. I choked back a whimper and turned over, facing the back of the love seat, ignoring the fact that I was all alone in the house. It was only nine-thirty, but it felt like forever. I let my heart get in the way and flung myself so willingly into Hudson's arms... okay, okay, FINN! Finn's arms! The ones that should be around me right now, making out with me, and eating this damned ice cream!
Oh, God, I didn't even WANT to think about those kisses. I allowed a groan to over-come me and I shuddered at the mere memory. However, like the Fates would allow, he walked through the door. I stilled, not even turning around to face him. I hugged myself, acting like I was sleeping so he wouldn't approach me. I even let out the deep breathing, so small and sleepy-sounding. The tears that had fallen earlier were staring to irritate my skin, the salty patches drying. I could still feel him in the doorway, almost contemplating what his next move should be.
I heard his footfalls come to the couch and it dipped at the end slightly. Nothing happened until I felt the afghan fall on me, covering my body. I heard Finn sigh, his hand now brushing back my hair tenderly.
"I'm sorry, Kurt... for everything. I'll make it up to you."
I blushed at the tone of his voice as he then stood and walked out towards the spare bedroom that was now his. I allowed myself to cry yet again, the sobs wracking my body. If he was going to make it up to me, he had a long way to go.
-
You're probably thinking of why it happened so fast and so soon after Finn pretty much confessed his feelings for me. I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that there would be consequences to deal with. But when we had drove home, things got sort of... frantic. Not in a busy-like way. Nor antsy. It was along the lines of lust. Pure, unadulterated lust. We both had known that for a long time that I was in love with him and when he had those days and hours to think about me and him, I knew that we wanted to possibly take it to the next level. And I was more than willing to do so. But how to go about it...? I was a complete first-timer and I was pretty sure it was for Finn. I mean, for both of us being virgins AND one of us in being straight? It probably wasn't going to end well.
Before dinner, Finn was thinking obviously of something else in mind.
I weaseled myself down to my room, feeling flustered and nervous. I knew that Finn followed shortly, his heavy footfalls sounding so ominous. I whirled around once I heard the door close softly and I backed up, watching him like a prize won. I swallowed and hugged myself, my knees knocking together and y heart flying inside of my chest. I wondered what it was that Finn seemed so... adamant about. Once he crossed the final step, his dark eyes drew me in and I whimpered slightly. "Wh-what are you doing, Finn?", I boldly asked, my voice sounding pathetic and timid like a mouse. "Don't know, really... I'm going with it", he replied in a strained tone and swooped down, capturing my lips earnestly, almost maddeningly. I moaned into the feel and twisted my hands into his thick hair, the texture soft under my fingertips. He lined his body against my own and I gasped into his mouth, the perfect opportunity for him to sneak his tongue inside, melding it with my own.
Somehow we made it to my bed, Finns hips pushing against my own, rubbing slowly as I strained against the mattress, daring to breathe. "F-Finn! Finn, Finn, Finn...," I mumbled, shaking my head to the side as I flushed under his ministrations, embarrassed and overwhelmed. "Are we g-going too fast?", I choked out, his mouth now on my neck as his hands began their wandering. "We don't have to do anything you do want to", he replied huskily against my ear, his hands now careful as they traced my sides. I wiggled at the touch and pulled his head up with my hands, staring into his earthy eyes, his own face flushed with need. "Finn, darling, I know that you really... I mean, REALLY want this, but think about it first. Perhaps we should take it slow? Experiment a little?", I implied slyly, not wanting to let him out of my sights but not also wanting to finish something I knew I couldn't. Not with my father and Carole awake, anyway. "What were you thinking of? I mean, I know I'm dude, but I don't know much about... well, you know...", he trailed off, looking down at himself and then at me, a brow raised as he looked adorably confused. I laughed some and sat up, bringing him with me. "Why, Finn Hudson, there's nothing wrong with admitting that. I know somewhat of how to do this. And the first thing I want to do... is-"
And to suggest my meaning, I placed my palm against his bulging erection trapped in his jeans.
I felt so powerful.
Finn nearly toppled forward, his face contorted sweetly in pleasurable pain. He arched his back, meeting my hand as I caressed it slowly, pressing the denim harder into his swelling member. I continued to look at him, in awe. I was making this happen to him. Not Rachel, not Quinn. ME. All me. I then took my free hand and unzipped his pants, still watching him as Finn rocked in my palm, his face flustered and breathing erratic. "Kurt...!", he keened, trying to stay quiet. "Yes?", I asked pleasantly, my voice lower than normal, taking a seductive tone. "Please?", he begged as I now fished through his boxer. I sucked in a quick lungful of air, my fingertips brushing along something hot. I blushed and touched the surface again, feeling it quiver. I grasped Finns member and brought it out, my eyes never leaving it. I was amazed, I will admit it. I only had seen my own and the ones on the Internet. I may have been in football, but I never sneaked a peak when I knew Finn was the only one I had eyes for in the showers. That, and I didn't want to take a beating from Puck and the others for looking. Finn sat still, his eyes tightly shit and biting on his bottom lip. I glanced at him for a moment and then back at his member. Grinning, I leaned down swiftly and swiped my tongue against the pulsing, angry, red-purple head. Finn jerked above me and leaned back on his elbows, his body trembling. "Tell me, Finn. What exactly do you want me to do? And be honest. I'm not turning back from this", I pointed out, grasping his cock with both hands as I massaged it, feeling the flesh pulse. I suppressed a shudder and felt my eyes flutter as Finn opened his eyes and stared at me, his piercing gaze the color of night.
He didn't have to say anything- I naturally leaned back down and took him wholly in my mouth, sucking up, my tongue flat against the surface, cradling. I sucked as best as I could, moving it around and licking the parts I couldn't fit, all the while moaning happily as I caused Finn to groan and make noises above me. I soaked in the moment as he began to ground out, "Mailman, mailman!" I was curious at that and then eyed him from under my lashes, seeing him grip the sheets, his head thrown back. I then suckled hard on the head, drawing out pre-cum all the while staring at him. Then, taking my hands, I slid the up his thing sweater-shirt. I ran my perfect manicured nails down his sturdy stomach down to the pelvic bones, making him cry out my name and arching off the bed, exploding into my mouth as I struggled to swallow his essence down. I purred at the action, so pleased with myself.
And I was shoved backwards on my bed.
I was rattled, his taste distinct in my mouth as Finn hovered over me, his form large. I shook, not sure of what to do. "Finn?", I asked quietly, sucking in my bottom lip. The next thing I knew, and I am not quite sure how it happened so fast- I was crying out his name in my pillow as he did in return what I was going to do for him. Tears smarted my eyes as he took more of me in his willing mouth, his other hand splayed over my chest while he worked my cock with his other hand, his knuckles brushing against my swollen sack. He managed to tear off all of my clothing and his own, kissing and nipping his way down to his desired point. I bit into my own knuckles, repressing a scream of pleasure as he nibbled around the slit, causing my hips to jerk and body to tense. "Finn...! Finn, Finn, please don't tease me!", I whimpered, my hands sliding down the sweaty plane of my chest to rest in his fly-away hair. He tore away from my aching need and took my hands, pulling himself up to press against my own body and placed them above my head, rocking against me. "I don't tease, Kurt... that's a territory all your own. I'm just trying to make you fly", he growled, pressing his burning cock against my own, my mewls echoing softly next to his ear as we rode wave after wave of mounted up frustration out, exploding over our stomachs. I panted heavily, my heart trying to beat right.
I felt like I was glowing.
But I never asked Finn if he was okay.
-
The summer moved on slowly, each day hotter than the other, but the nights seemed to reach such burning heights, but only in my room. We never really did have sex. I was too scared to think about it and concerned that somewhere, in the recesses of Finns mind that he really didn't want to do this. He was often gone a lot, whereas myself would be with Mercedes, Tina and Artie, or even with Quinn. If he or I wanted to get off, we ended up searching each other out in the dark of my bedroom. I knew that I held his heart then, but... what about the other times?
I knew something was going on.
I told this to Quinn one day when we sat at Mercedes house, watching Puck clean the pool. We were lounging out in the sun, waiting for my girl to come back with some drinks. Quinn was wearing a black and white striped bikini that was very becoming on her, her hair pulled up in a messy bun and big Prada shades on her face. Puck couldn't keep his eyes off of her, winking at her often and calling her babe. I snorted at his Neanderthal mannerisms and turned back to her, the sun flashing off of my Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses. "What do you think, Quinny? You think he is regretting it?", I asked softly, toying with the end of my white button down. "It's a possibility. I mean, when I got him to make out with me a lot, he began to shy away, thinking it was wrong because of the whole celibacy thing." Quinn then let out a peal of laughter, shaking her head. "Celibacy, my ass... I had Puck pop me so I wouldn't feel fat! I didn't want Finn to do it. I felt guilty about THAT!", she howled. "Hey, you do know that I standing RIGHT here?", Puck announced, turning off the hose, frowning.
"And we're ignoring you", Mercedes snapped back in a friendly way, balancing four pink lemonade drinks on a tray. We gratefully took them and clinked the glasses together, taking a sip from them. We were silent for a moment when Puck cleared his throat and looked away, looking guilty. Quinn noticed this and raised a brow, settling back in her chair. "You okay?", she asked sincerely. "I... yeah. I mean, maybe."
She shrugged and looked back at me. "You need to ask him tonight if he's okay. I sure if you talk it out, you'll fix whatever is wrong. It never hurts to ask."
Mercedes sighed and tapped the rim of the cup to her lips. "But sometimes it does..."
-
GLEE song
-
Kurt in laying haphazardly across a settee, body flung back as he is dressed in ebony, sequins visible in the light that is displayed on him. He looked up, dead-paned and begins his song.
"Silicon,
saline,
poison,
inject me,
Baby, I'm a free bitch
I'm a free bitch."
He stands, fabric falling across his legs as he stands, wearing a blazer dress, Tina, Brittany and Santana crawling out of the folds with black, feathered masks and hardly anything but scraps of scarlet, silver, and black lacy fabric around their most private areas, singing backup in a synthesized tune.
"Some girls won't dance to the beat of the track.
She won't walk away,
But she won't look back.
She looks good
But her boyfriend says she's a mess,
She's a mess,
She's a mess,
Now the girl is stressed.
She's a mess,
She's a mess,
She's a mess,
She's a mess
(Tell'em, girls)-"
Kurt whirls across the marble floor, candles lighting up in old candlebras, cobwebs visible as he snaps a fan open to its fullest, strutting, eyes hooded and bright, dark makeup around them as he snarls the chorus.
"Baby loves to dance in the dark,
Cuz when he's lookin'
She falls apart.
Baby loves to dance in the dark
(Tell'em , girls)."
The girls dance behind him wickedly, tantalizing as a form steps up in front of Kurt. A cape with red underlining flows behind the person, a tall man in a tuxedo with a white ceramic mask on his handsome face. Kurt leers at the man, fluttering his fan and eying him with a glint.
"Run run,
Her kiss is a vampire grin.
The moon lights her way while she s howlin' at him.
She looks good,
But her boyfriend says she s a tramp.
She's a tramp,
She's a vamp,
But she still does her dance.
She's a tramp,
She's a vamp,
But she still kills the dance
(Tell'em , girls)-"
The trio of girls press against the stranger as Kurt sings, his body bending and swaying as the chorus seems to get louder from them all. The candles burn brightly, revealing a broken down ballroom with dead rose petals littering the cracked floor.
"Baby loves to dance in the dark,
Cuz when he's lookin ,
She falls apart.
Baby loves to dance in the dark.
(Tell'em , girls)
In the dark,
She loves to dance in the dark.
In the dark,
She loves, she loves to dance in the dark."
Kurt breaks away from his dance, walking around the masked man, touching and caressing, the train of his glittering gown wrapping around them both. He whispers the next part into the stranger's ear, closing his eyes.
"Marilyn,
Judy,
Sylvia,
Tell'em how you feel girls!
Work your blonde (Jean) Benet Ramsey,
We'll haunt like Liberace.
Find your freedom in the music,
Find your Jesus,
Find your Kubrick.
You will never fall apart,
Diana, you're still in our hearts.
Never let you fall apart,
Together we'll dance in the dark."
The both start to dance in a passionate, sultry waltz, being passed between the three girls as they finish the song with Kurt, who is now dancing alone, the man far away in a darkening corner of the room, being consumed by the girls. Kurt stares on, singing alone with the mask in his gloved hands.
"Baby loves to dance in the dark,
Cuz when he's lookin ,
She falls apart.
Baby loves to dance in the dark."
The candles extinguish, the ballroom now dark.
-
Kurt POV
-
I stood before Finn s bed, nervous. He wasn't home. It was past ten at night, and he wasn't home. I paced the room, making sure to not get my blood pressure up and take in the scenario. He might be with Matt and Mike. Or at one of his football friends house. Yeah! That might be it! I chewed on a nail, my heart racing and palms sweating. I had text him only once, not to seem a bother, but he never replied back. My gut instinct was telling me otherwise. Taking a deep breath, I then walked upstairs, got into my Ranger Rover, and drove down the neighborhood into another one.
As I drove slowly down the road, I then stopped in front of a three story house, immaculate and proper.
And I saw it.
Finn's truck.
I parked along side the sidewalk and got out, my body feeling weightless and odd as I approached the happily painted, bright red door and rang the doorbell. I waited until an adult answered, asking who I was. I replied my name in a sweet manner and asked if Finn was still over here. He was needed back at home for dinner. The person nodded and asked for my dream to come down the stairs. In slow motion it seemed, I raised my eyes to meet with Finn s and my heart exploded. I knew the look on his face. His body language screamed it too.
I nodded once and then turned away, walking briskly to my baby.
I heard my nae being called, and I ignored it. I got in and buckled up, locking the doors as Finn came to my window, asking me to talk to him, please? I squared my shoulders and looked at him frostily, noting his mussed hair and red-stained lips. His eyes looked wild, as if coming down from something, his face pink. I clenched the steering wheel and narrowed my eyes at him. I rolled the window down and Finn started apologizing. I ignored him.
"Finn."
I watched him gulp, his face whitening as he stopped talking.
"Don't ever... speak to me. Don't acknowledge me and don't... DON'T come near me, ever again. You and her are dead to me. You've hurt me too much, Finn. I can't... I can't do this."
I had knew that after Regionals, something was up, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. I ignored it and thoughtlessly flung myself at Finn when he sung with me. And behind my back, he couldn't figure out exactly what he wanted.
I rolled the window back up, backed up, and didn't look back. Because it s true- I was dancing in the dark the entire time.
-
-stares at the screen-
I totally just wrote that.
Yup.
-the moonlight carries the message of Love.-
Later Days...!
-SD
Dance in the Dark- Lady GaGa