MONSTER Chapter 10: Giving Out, a glee fanfic

MONSTER
A GLEE fanfic
By: Something Dysfunctional
Chapter Ten: Giving Out
Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy owns the show and my soul. Damn you.
ZOMFG... I am writing a chapter. To a much left-behind story that I didn't forget. I HAZ NEW LAPTOP! Which means that all my keys work. Fwahaha. I apologize to the long and over-due delay to you guys, ye old faithful readers. The last chapter had many wondering why Kurt and Finn kissed because of the hurtful way that Finn and Rachel got back at the end of Regionals. Well, since the new season started with Blaine involved, I'm still going to write on during the season, which means that this will become one of my many long chapter stories on here. -snerks- And I do believe I owe all of you... a smutty scene.
Let's Get Physical!
P.S.- I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF KURT AND BLAINE... no matter HOW cute Blaine is. -pouts- In my mind, it will be Finn. Grah.
-

I did it.

One taste, and I was done. I could feel Finn's hands all over me at once and I felt as thought I had drowned in fire. He kept pulling me down and I simply complied. I didn't want the feeling to go away...

Finn pushed me back on my back, hands thrust up my night shirt as I frantically raked my hands through his impossibly soft hair, pulling him in with me. Our mouths bruised against one another as each tongue swiped, danced, and savored the feelings and tastes that we each had to offer. I moaned erratically as he slowly brushed his hips against my own. I was literally burning up because of Finn. Everything that we had been feeling up until that point was pushed into that kiss and I welcomed it greedily. Every thought of Rachel was tossed to the side, every hurt feeling I had from Finn and her I doubled it. I wanted Finn to think of no one but ME and solely ME. I ground my hips against his own, rolling slowly to receive the friction I was craving. Finn moaned appreciatively and pulled away, kissing down my jaw and down to my neck, his breath hot and his large hands ripping away my Lady Gaga t-shirt. I honestly didn't care-

I was feeling him.

"Finn, Finn, Finn...," I mumbled wantonly, arching to his touches. "I'm here, Kurt. I'm here," he answered huskily, pulling away. His eyes were dark with lust and another emotion I couldn't place. He looked down at my shirt in his hand and then his puppy-dog eyes glanced at me. "Uuuhmmm... I'm sorry. I know how much you liked that shirt," he muttered apologetically. I shook my head, leaning up on my elbows. "Not a problem- I can always ask Dad to give me another one," I answered, reaching out and tugging at his shirt. "What? Want it off?," Finn asked suggestively, raising a brow. I nodded frantically and with a grin, he whipped it off and I nearly squealed like one of the Cheerios. He was no Puck, nor one of the beach boys I normally used to fantasize about, but in my eyes, Finn was "perfect" in everyway. He obviously had muscles to the nines and such... strong shoulders...

"Am I drooling yet?," I asked numbly, gazing down towards his stomach and to the... lovely present that was straining to release from his jeans. Finn laughed some and gave me that dopey half-smile of his and leaned down, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "No, not yet. Kurt...," he murmured, his mouth ghosting over my swollen lips. I trembled at the intense emotion that raced through me and I looked up at him, eyes hooded, gazing into his dark depths and I allowed my soul to be sucked in.

And then, I remembered it all- the hurt, the pain, the agony of being turned away:

Quinn's face when she stared back and forth from him to Puck, always crying for not being smart but knowing Finn would go to her with a flutter of her eyelashes. Santana's smirk when she took his most valuable asset from him and with a flick of her Cheerio skirt, his eyes would follow. And then, Rachel's wide, doe-eyed expressions of love and loyalty, practically begging him to have her even if he thought her annoying until her hand would touch his chest, Finn would tag behind, helpless and wanting more from her.

It was like a burning blade sliced through my stomach and, with sudden strength, I pushed him away with my hands with a sudden cry. Finn stumbled backwards on the bed, confused and hurt-looking. "What... the hell, Kurt?," he exclaimed. I paused, feeling my body hum with adrenaline and tears smarted my eyes. Then, I stood abruptly, searching for my shirt. "No, Finn, not like this. I can't do it like this!," I cried out, bitterly. Finn stared on with a blank expression on his face and like moving underwater, he stood slowly, unsure. "Not like what?" I glared at him, sniffling some and stuffing my head through the hole of the shirt. "This... THIS! The making out, the playing "I'm hurting, let me lay it all on you" drama BULLSHIT!," I screeched, throwing my hands to the sides. "I'm not a rebound and I don't want to for Rachel Berry for THAT matter! If you're horny and want something, either go to her, or ring up Santana because I will never be sloppy thirds!," I yelled, snatching up a pea coat from my chair. "Kurt, I never thought of you like that!," Finn argued back, snapping.

Scowling, I turned from him and up the stairs, putting on my jacket at the same time. "Well, at least this time I know what not to fall for again," I threw back at him, the tears now flowing freely down my face as I saw his expression fall, his mouth opening some and eyes flashing with guilt.

Soon, I was outside in the night air and it was rather humid, rain falling. I groaned some but ignored it, knowing my hair was going to fall flat but I walked on along the sidewalk, hugging myself. The more I walked, I got somewhat cooler, teeth chattering and my hurt flaming brightly. I stopped, the lights of passing cars flowing past me. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat, trying to push it back and the tears to stop mingling with the rain that now poured constantly.

Every time...

knocked down.

'Keep walking, keep walking, keep walking,' I told myself and I willed my legs to move despite the pajama legs clinging to my legs. And, out of no where, it seemed that a stand of music skipped across my mind. I looked around at where I was an noticed it was the bus stop. I sat down inside the cubicle and hunched over, trying to warm up and get dry. And then, the song came back along with a dream-like music video...
-

Alone on a deserted, city street, fog rolls in low. Silence. A few dead leave scatter across the pavement and soon, the blurred image of Kurt comes in with a solemn face. His clothes are gray tones, black, tattered. His hair is not slicked back but tousled. He opens his mouth, a sorrowful tune escapes:

"I know I can't take one more step towards you,
Cause all that's waiting is regret,
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love I loved the most."

I learned to live half alive,
And now you want me one more time."

He stops in front of several broken down cars, head bent as the wind shifts the fog around his booted feet. In one of the cars, Finn is in the driver's seat, mouth barely covering Quinn's as if he was drawing something out from her...

"And who do you think you are,
Running 'round leaving scars?
Collecting your jar of hearts,
And tearing love apart.
You're gonna catch a cold,
From the ice inside your soul.
So don't come back for me-
Who do you think you are?"

Kurt walks by slowly as Quinn pushes Finn away suddenly, outraged and pale as he stares ahead, unblinking and glowing, holding Quinn's heart as she leaves the car, slamming the door.

"I hear you're asking all around,
If I am anywhere to be found.
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms.

And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time."

He passes a phone booth where Finn is there again, holding his face near Santana's as she claws the windows, body jerking and Kurt barely gives them a glance as more dead leaves rain down. She then flees, crying as he holds her heart.

"And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars?
Collecting your jar of hearts,
And tearing love apart.
You're gonna catch a cold,
From the ice inside your soul.
So don't come back for me-
Who do you think you are?"

Rain starts to dance the leaves as Kurt stands on his own, seeing Finn under an umbrella with Rachel, holding her close as she presses her lips oh-so-near his own, as if she was struggling to breathe. With a twist, she whirls away, vague and Finn looks forward, her heart now his.

"Dear, it took so long just to feel alright.
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes.
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed,
Cause you broke all your promises.
And now you're back,
You don't get to get me back!"

The street now opens up with the rain and fog, silent dancers moving behind Kurt in tattered dresses and matted hair. Tina, Brittnay, Santana, Quinn, and Rachel look like beggars, trying to find something as they file behind Kurt who is mournfully looking at Finn, who stares at him with empty eyes.

Each girl that was taken fights Finn in a dance struggle, trying to win back what they wanted. Each prevails, taking back a piece of what they lost, angry and fierce expressions on their dirty faces.

"And who do you think you are,
Running 'round leaving scars?
Collecting your jar of hearts,
And tearing love apart.
You're gonna catch a cold,
From the ice inside your soul.
Don't come back for me-
Don't come back at all!"

The pale boy approaches Finn, glaring hatefully, eyes burning like the ocean as he shakes his head at the taller teen, hands grabbing fistfuls of his leather jacket. Finn continues to look down at him, unsure and hurting himself.

"Who do you think you are?"

Kurt moves his head in close...

"Who do you think you are?"

Both closes their eyes- Finn expecting his final kiss...

"Who do you think... you are?"

Kurt inhales deeply and shuddering, Finna collapses on the dirty ground as the bleak city glows in golden sunlight. The leaves have turned into pink petals and Kurt rolls his head back, holding his own heart back as Finn lays at his feet. He draws in a breath, steps over the body and walks off, head hanging.
-

Opening my eyes blearily, I knew that it was officially done.
-

Another year went into McKinley High school. Vocal Adrenaline had won Regionals, but we were able to fight for another year to stay. Quinn and Puck's baby, Beth, went to Rachel's biological mother. Artie was seeing Brittnay and Tina was with Mike in a twist of odd fate. Quinn instead was dating the new member of the Glee club, Sam, who reminded me of a blonde version of Justin Beiber. Mercedes was finding her true diva and voice while Rachel was beginning to take it down a notch. Puck, for some odd reason, was falling for Lauren Zizes, who was my replacement. Santana, of course, was NOT thrilled. And, by this time, Finn was with Rachel. I, however, relocated to another school- Dalton for their zero-tolerance bully policy. Karovsky had gotten to me to where I was scared to walk the halls. After Finn's mother and my father's wedding, I was placed at the school much to everyone's shock.

I didn't ask Finn how he felt. I never asked for his opinion. In my case, I thought it best to leave it alone with Finn. Besides, my attention was now around Blaine Anderson (who is REALLY hot and sincere and sweet...), one of the Warblers at Dalton that went against New Directions at Sectionals. I know, I know... myself going against my fellow Glee members. But it was fun, but I knew there was something missing. That feeling of being together and having fun...

Home was okay with Dad and Carole. I was very polite towards Finn, but only that. Since that night, months and months ago, I dare not be with him in the same room if we were alone. Perhaps Berry finally cooled off his raging hormones.

But that wasn't the case when Rachel came to my house when Finn was at football practice and I was home from Dalton. I raised an eyebrow at her standing in my doorway, wearing a horrible dark navy sweater with a butter-yellow braiding on the collar and dark green diamond patterns on the ugly thing, a red pleated skirt and these... LOAFERS with knee-high socks in that same yellow... her hair was mussed and eyes watery, as if she had been crying. "Uhm... I didn't do it whatever it was," I said, holding up my hands. "Oh, don't give me that! You ought to know I would have never come over here unless it was something really, really, REALLY important!," she wailed, stomping in. I blinked, looking at the empty space in front of me. "Okay... sure, you can come in," I muttered, closing the door. "There's something wrong with Finn! He won't tell me anything- his singing is off, he looks like a zombie and I can't even GET him to talk to me!"

"Well, you DID make out with Puck..."

She drew in her bottom lip, eyes over-flowing. "B-but I TRIED to get him to forgive m-m-meee!"

I rolled my eyes. "You broke his heart. He's GOING to act like that," I said rather snottily, crossing my arms over my chest. Rachel flew at me, hair flying back like a wave of brown ribbons. She grasped my shoulders, searching my face. "You've GOT to get him to come back to me!," she pleaded. My blood ran cold and I swear my feet went numb. I started, then shut my mouth, not knowing what to say. "Rachel... that's... not my area of expertise...," I trailed off. "But you live with him! Try and get him to tell you what he's feeling, for me, please?," she cried hysterically, sobbing now in my chest. I stood there, not knowing what to do. I raised my eyes to the ceiling of my living room, allowing the girl to cry.

I hope she could cry for two.
-

-grins-
Hi guys.
And yes, the "music video" was inspired by the same of Christina Perri's.
-the moonlight carries the message of Love.-

Later Days...!
-SD

"Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri