Attention Readers: I did not die. Things like a computer virus, and Christmas, and school and work always take precedence. But never fear, Jay-Jay is back and I'm starting to fall into my updating swing of things. This next chapter has taken a collective month to get up. But more importantly, I'm already thinking about the sequel. Things are flowing people. Great things.
Disclaimer: I have no idea why anyone would ever sue considering this entire website is based on the idea of creative plagiarism. But I'm all for jumping on the bandwagon. Stephanie, be kind. I only use him for his body. You understand…..
*********************************************Homecoming*********************************************************
Large rock cluster, check. Ant hill, fallen tree, half eaten trail mix cereal bar; Check check check. Tree fungus shaped like Buddy Holly; Awesome, double check. This was the 9th time I'd passed #'s 27-31 on the inventory of 92 landmarks I'd taken note of, while circling her house. Yesterday had been a complete vag. full of wasteful nothing. Two whole patrols of not so much as a cum sniff of bloodsucker, and the most gruesome 120 minutes of monster sitting spawn one and two while my mom was at the doctor. That female was living in some kind of fantasy world. As if I was some tweenage girl she could give 7 dollars to and be expected to watch Spongebob cockface and cut the fucking crust off their pb&j sandwiches'. Absolutely Delusional.
According to the call I got from my lady last night, I was approximately 2 hours and 10 minutes from having her safely back in my arms,( give or take a couple of seconds to an hour.) I really wasn't on patrol, but was way too excited not to be runnin canine. Creepy tumor like notch in a tree, check. Empty birds nest, check. Funny looking purplish bush, check.
"MMMMM………bush"
"Guhh! Paul, shut the fuck up. Don't bother me ..I'm busy"
"Yea, busy being pussy whipped." The few moments I ever felt sorry for him because he didn't have a soul mate to call his own, were severely overshadowed by the significantly more moments like this, when I wanted him to drop the soap and get stuffed like a turkey.
"Oh why don't you and Jake just circle jerk each other already? I can't sit through any more of these patrols with you whining like a little bitch."
"……….!!!!!!" That's it! I didn't have enough respect to answer his unenlightened remark. Instead I was changing course and figuring out that at this speed and elevation I could be on his ass in 1 minute and 45 seconds.
"Oh come off it you meat swallower. You're such an touchy little schoolgirl lately" His annoyance quickly turned into excitement at the thought of an afternoon puppy tussle. "But I guess if you really want a healthy helping of this ass kicking I've got on the table, come and get it taint-stain!"
20 seconds and this fag was getting his hind legs ripped off. I came at him from the side but the quick little fucker was bowed and ready for the charge by the time I got within chomping distance. We jawed and rolled around for 10 minutes or so, taking out a gigantic amount of shrubbery, and splitting a tree. I was bleeding pretty profusely from the ear that he mauled up, but he was definitely favoring his left front paw for the last half of the fight from my badass pummeling. It was a graceful and fucking perfectly executed combat maneuver, if I do say so myself. I would have to practice it for a real fight. And just like our verbal brawls, at some point we both just kind of gave up out of boredom. Also, in the last few minutes, we both realized the attention of the rest of the phased pack was listening in on us and everyone was making bets on who would get in the best licking. I'm afraid Brady was the only one on my cheerleading squad, where as Sam, Embry, and Quil were all convinced I was going to get my balls handed to me. Then to be funny, Embry started putting his own artistic flare to the visions everyone was getting from our scrap, and in his head they were starting to favor slightly more erotic scenarios. That cherry pie has had the last giggle today at my expense. If anything could get me and Paul on the same side again, it was giving us a common enemy. = Jared and Paul vs. …Embry's virginity. Round one:
"Don't even try to pull that fudge packing bullshit with me, not today." His giggles stifled but continued. Paul was almost as annoyed as I was.
"Yea,….If anybody's pushing through the fudge around here Emb, hands down its you and your untouched baby dicklet." Embry's chuckling ceased immediately and there was an awkward silence spreading through everyone's mind. Until, momentarily, Paul remembered his point from earlier and his attitude shifted from angry back to smug. "Besides,…. there's nothing remotely funny about the widdle sympathy vagina growing from the area where Jar's testicles used to be, so give the guy a break huh?." …..Irritating douche.
"Fucking shit you guys!!! I swear to God, I'm so wound up right now I would have no conscious at all about tying any of you spread eagle to the boundary line and letting that big meathead bloodsucker ram you with whatever he's got handy." Seeing that my tone lacked any humor, Daddy felt it was time for a group time-out on the ragging of my pussy whipped-ness.
"Alright, alright you guys. Enough of that. Back to work all of you. Jared, why don't you just head back now, …..you don't want to miss her." Sam was the only person that could understand. I unspokenly appreciated these helping hands when he gave them, even if he was mostly just a lame party pooper all the other times.
I was back to pacing and circling. Any longer and I might accuse Paul's grandma of a nasty string of whorish acts just so he would try and take me down again. At least I would be sidetracked from worrying. And just as all hope seemed gone and I had started to formulate a plan to hunt down every wedding guest in attendance, my wolf vision picked up the headlights of an unmistakable, army green, Jeep Grand Cherokee. This must have been how Joseph felt after months of crossing the desert with a girl that somebody else knocked up and a donkey. A shabby barn would have seemed like a gift from God to me too. So it didn't come as a surprise when I almost jizzed myself at the mere sight of that midsize SUV. She was home. Kimberly was home. And over my dead body would I ever let her leave again.
The car made its way down the road and took an outrageously long time at each and every stop sign. Rolling around the last turn, it slowed at the mailbox for Mr C. to retrieve the three days worth of stuffed in parcels. After finally climbing the driveway, he parked in front of the garage door and turned off the car. I was fighting the urge to run and rip her from the Jeep. That would have been a bad idea since I was still a giant wolf because my body was too excited to sit still. I was filled from head to junk with pure adrenaline and could do nothing but watch from the tree line across the street. Annoyingly, the car had been off for over a minute and no one had gotten out. It was the way someone wanted to finish a conversation and everyone else wasn't aloud to get out until it had ended. My hind leg was twitching. Where the hell was she? I would give her just one more minute before I threw our tribe's secret to the wind and ran to her. Then on que, the back door opened and the most beautiful red and mud caked rain boots swung out, closely followed by hottest creature that ever lived. She was wearing a grey oversized cardigan and holding onto her shoulder bag and a frayed, stuffed monkey named Hammy, (which I personally knew to be her traveling companion since birth.) Her hair was in a high, messy bun on top of her head and she was definitely pouting about something. Everyone else was making their way out of the Jeep now too.
"And that's final!...... And don't you going talking to your dad behind my back young lady." Tsk tsk Hannah. Why do you always have to disappoint my baby? Her comments were obviously directed towards Kimby, but Hannah's back was turned away as she carried shopping bags up to her elbows up the front steps. Her older sister Charlotte seemed to be uninterested in the conversation, and physically unable to look up from her phone. Her dad walked to the back of the car and opened the trunk to get the luggage out. Kim stood in the driveway, angry and sulky, watching her mom and sister into the house. Once the front door was closed, she abruptly turned towards her dad and squinted her eyebrows together.
"Just don't botha pumkin. You know your mum." His British accent couldn't hide the fact that he'd said the very thing she didn't want to hear.
"Now, chin up yea? Get your bag?" Still squeezing Hammy, she let her head fall forward and her shoulders slump in defeat. Whatever this was about, she'd just given up the fight. He flung a large duffle back over his shoulder, and dragged two rolling suitcases to the porch after giving her a regrettable pat on the head. Once he was in the house too, she gave her shoulders one last slump and brought the monkey up to her face. Talking with wide eyes to the only one on her side, she said in the most pitiful voice "well, at least you like me Hamms." My gloomy little buttercup. She stuffed him in her purse and then reached for her suitcase. My immediate need to feel her on my fur was distracted by the sight of her trying to bend over and pick up her bag. She was wearing the jeans with the swirls on the pockets. She knows what the swirly pocket jeans do to me. I so rarely get to watch her with my presence unknown; I picked up my paw closest to the yard and shuffled further back into the shadows. She struggled for another minute and then yanked on the bag that probably weighed a metric ton, and let it fall with a thud to the driveway. When she was determined on something, she always bit her tongue out of her mouth in the most adorable way. Fighting with it again, she finally kicked it to its side so she could roll it to the house. She was one a step away from the stairs when she froze in place. She turned her body towards where I was in the trees and raised one eyebrow in an inquisitive smirk. She felt it too. Our pull was stronger than any unhappiness Hannah could ever cause her.
She threw the luggage aside and it awkwardly fell over. As she walked closer to where I was, her frown turned more into a smile. By the time she got to the road, she was almost running and I could tell she knew. She looked left and then right, not for cars but for nosey onlookers, and then almost skipped across the street. She was hesitant for only a moment before she reached up to caress the fur on my neck. This is what home felt like. Her soft little hand touching me, loving me, even when I looked like a monster. This was only the third time she'd ever seen me like this, but there was no shock in her eyes, just warm love. My leg wasn't twitching anymore and calm washed through my veins with every stroke through my hair. My humming purrs started to get loud enough for her to hear, and she smiled even bigger and said "I missed you too."
Finally calm enough to change back, I stepped away from her and she let her hand drop. I closed my eyes and shook my head and by the time Id focused back on to her face, my arms and legs started to tingle and my stomach felt the awful fuzzy popping. Voila! Jared's back to his beefcake of a body. Her smile registered my face and then quickly followed my naked body down to the goods. Her cheeks blushed and she batted her eyelashes in embarrassment. I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable. We were half way to the way I wanted us to be all the time. When we made eye contact again, I had my hands on my hips and she slipped a giggle.
"Oh put your clothes on so I can kiss you already." She tilted her head down and made a visor out of her hand. I guess this wasn't going to be the moment I get acquainted with her nether regions after all. I put on the shirt and cut off khakis with my own defeated slump, but let it go immediately when she tackled me to the ground before I could even zip up my pants. She was the one who kissed me but my tongue made quick advantage. Minutes later, when she was out of breath and my hands had rustled her hair almost all the way out of her bun; she sat up on top of me and dragged her finger along my jaw line.
"So I guess you didn't forget about me." Oh honey, forgetting was never the problem. It was remembering not to rip your clothes off the first time I saw you again.
"Yea.. I guess so, and you're….wait, don't tell me …….Bev-erly…….no no, hmmm…Jaime? She squinted her eyes in a disgusted smile then punched me in my stomach with her little baby strength. "OOOHH YEA! Kimberly! I'd recognize those angry, flexing inner thigh muscles anywhere." She leaned in like she was going to punch me in the gut again and at the last minute reached up and slapped my face. My eyes blinked a couple times in shock. Even though it didn't really hurt I was genuinely surprised. I love when she outsmarts me. "Oops, I meant the most beautiful woman in the world." She leaned back, satisfied, and I moved my hands to rest on top of her legs. She watched her fingertips move across my skin. At first on my face, then across my chest, and down my arms; keeping her eyes on my body parts while she talked to me.
"So anything happen while I was gone?" She didn't know the half of it.
"Dick loads, but nothing worth mentioning…..you weren't here." Still not looking me in the face, she smiled the proud way she used to when we first got together. We sat in silence for the next few minutes. Her; just reacquainting herself with my, no doubt, pined after body, and me; content to stare at that gorgeous face and lightly massage her thighs. "Soooo, what was all that pouting for?" I couldn't help reaching up and plucking her glossy bottom lip before she gave me the biggest "like you couldn't guess" look.
"You, duh! What else does mummy ever yell at me for?" First off, I had to be the biggest fan of her occasional Brit-lish accent slips. Second, it was true. Hannah didn't make any qualms about hiding her distaste for me and made vocal her opinions any chance she got. If I ever allow them to meet, our mom's will probably bond talking over all the things they distain about me. But in my defense, I think she would feel this way about anyone who so adamantly sought out her little girl.
"What is she accusing me of this time? Too good looking to be around her? I know I know, it's too much for her. But babe, I can't change my stripes. Just tell her to keep a cold compress around…you know…in case this chiseled jaw just overwhelms her into unconsciousness."
"Ehhww, gross! You know as soon as I told her about the party she'd come up with any reason for me not to go." Oh dear Hannah, why do you always make Operation Screw Your Daughter so intricately difficult for me? I had mentioned the party during our fleeting call yesterday before Hannah figured out that it was me on the other end and suddenly became super concerned with the usage of nighttime cell minutes.
"Ehh, I figured as much. What, afraid you'll be out late?
"I guess, or that we won't have any chaperoning."
"Please. Has she ever met Emily? Besides is not just the kids, it all the parents this time."
"I know, I know, I told her. Billy Black, The Atera's, even Mrs. Abrams (Collin's mom and one of Hannah's besties). But as soon as I talk her into a corner, she plays the whole 'Charlie's graduating' card. Like we need to focus on family time before it's too late. Bullshit .And as if Charlie was even going to spend her first night home with us anyway. Then she pulls all these chores that have to be done today out of her butt. She's grasping, but daddy's not backing me up at all."
"Chores huh? Not exactly how I planned to spend our romantic first day together but ill work with what I've got. Well you know it's not until tonight. You work on her a little, and I can probably do the chores faster you than you anyway." I took my eyes off of her face for the first time and dragged my finger from her chin, past her collar bone, then down her cleavage to just under her tank top. " And, well, with all that extra time we save you…..wait what am I saying?…..screw the party." I took a firm hold of her arms and brought her back down to me. She held both sides of my face and we shared another long passionate kiss. When she parted from me, she gave me two more quick, flirty pecks. Then smiled and held her face and inch above mine.
"Or we could go to the party", she said in a sneaky whisper. I pretended to think it over and then leaned in for another kiss. We both smiled and I mimicked her flirty chipper tone.
"Or we could go to the party." She can talk me into anything when I'm face to face with her breasts. Sitting up, she caressed my cheek one last time before kind of giggling and pushing off me to stand up. She grabbed my hand with both of hers and planted her feet to help me up. It must have looked like a toddler trying to pull a horse out of quicksand. As I got to my feet, I thought about how grateful I was that she tackled me into a dryish patch of ivy instead of soggy moss covered everything else. (After the biggest let down of a wet dream I'd ever had a few days ago, I vowed never to be dirty in front of my princess ever again.)We walked hand in hand across the street and picked up the forgotten suitcase. When we made it through the front door, we found the other two pieces of rolling luggage still sitting there. Obviously belonging to the women; too lazy to unpack.
She carried hers up the stairs and I made my way to the family room where someone was watching T.V. Charlotte was flipping through a magazine, painting her toenails, and watching one of those shows where they follow around whiney kids in California.
"Soo, Charlie, how are things?" I always feigned interest but she knew better. She cared just as much as I didn't.
"Oh, …ya know….things are good" It was the little dance we did. She was perfectly content to just live in her tiny, pin prick world, but it didn't bother me any, so good riddance. Charlie was a year older than me and two older than Kim. Because she technically had no real ties to the tribe, she couldn't go to the res school. It suited her just fine though. We didn't even have a basketball team for her to cheer for anyway. She had finished Forks High School a semester early and had already been accepted to the University of Wyoming. She had spent the last few months working as a hostess at the lodge…..and texting. Her almost red hair and pale skin resembled nothing of my mocha angel, but they weren't physically related anyway. Charlie just couldn't hold a candle. Her phone had alerted her twice since we'd spoken to each other. What a girl. And then like a breeze from Heaven, Kimmy came barreling down the stairs and jumped on top of me to share the oversized chair and ottoman. We shared one more sappy, wonderful kiss before she settled in next to me. Charlie looked up from painting her big toe, rolled her eyes, and then got another text.
"Oh, oh , oh …finally something in this town!" Kimmy was interested enough to ask, I continued to just wonder what color underwear she was wearing.
"Oh yea, what? A new stop light?" Alright, so she couldn't be this gorgeous AND be as funny as I am. I think I lucked out anyway.
"Pfffff, try a party. Like a REAL party."
"What is this time? Classy kegs on the beach? A raver at Andy Riggins lake house?"
"HA, try an actual, formal party at ….get this……….Dr. Cullen's house." And just like that……I'd abandoned the color game. Kim rustled next to me, uncomfortable too.
"Umm, the Cullen's huh? Why..why would you want to go there? Probably gunna be really stuffy and uptight." Her attempt to try and deglamourize the occasion was in vain.
"Umm, who wouldn't want to go? Hello….first off, it's a real party, period. Secondly, it's Dr. Cullen's house!" Apparently she wasn't going to be swayed out of going. "Shelby Brandon went up there once, delivering flowers from the shop. She actually got inside the doorway. Said the thing had like 4 stories and it was all sleek and decorated and stuff. Like one of those houses on T.V. And they're like rich for real. They'll probably have a caterer or something fancy like that. I mean, anybody who's anybody in our class is going to be there."
"You were actually invited?"
"Well, not technically. But I have on good authority that Emily is going to break up with Alex before we walk on Monday. Which means he'll probably ask Mallory who was already invited. Which just leaves Tyler Crowley with out a date AND a plus-one invitation. I might be willing to spare him the embarrassment of arriving stag." I don't know what was more painful: Not being able to tell her the real reason why she wouldn't want to go, or just listening to her ramble about this stupid shit in the first place. "Thank God I got those new heels."
"Tyler huh? Is Matt gunna be ok with this?" Ohh, and my lady was sly and three steps ahead. Her dumb jock, basketball star boyfriend was a year older. And was probably face down in a toilet as we speak, waiting for his still-in-high school girlfriend (whom I'm sure he's been 100% faithful to) to join him at the University of Wyoming.
"It's not like I'm gunna sleep with the guy. Besides, Emmett will probably be back for his sibling's graduation party. And what better place to corner him without "Rosalie Cullen" attached at the fucking hip?" She said Slutty McVamp's name with a snooty and disgusted, high pitched voice. Kim told me once that her sister had kind of had a thing for that bloodsucker and found the blonde bitch annoying as hell because of it. Charlotte was jealous, and I, well I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
"You don't know that he's going to be there. Charlie, seriously, its sounds really lame." My poor baby, she'd already lost this fight and she didn't know it.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say a certain someone is jealous they're not going."
"Ugghh, whatever. Just stay where there are lots of people. Don't go anywhere by yourself, ok?"
"Ooookaaay. Awkward much?" Her naivety had just hit my boiling point. I had to intervene.
"Listen, Charlotte. I know you don't understand, but just trust me ok? Don't……It would be best if…..oh hell, it's just a bad idea to go anywhere near the Cullen place." She looked at us both and then rolled her eyes again.
"Hey, just because you're not getting any doesn't mean I have to sit at home and listen to Kim whine all week." I'm willing to take a lot, but no one smites my lady.
"You know what. I hope you have a great time. Make sure you wear something that shows off your nec…." Kimmy punched me in the arm and I only felt half guilty.
Charlotte squinted her eyes at me annoyed, but held in her rebuttal due to the new person walking into the room. Hannah had her reading glasses on, holding a cookbook and pointing to a casserole recipe. She started talking to the girls without lifting her head from the page.
"So it says it only takes 2 hours but I'm totally willing to Taco Bell this…" and then her eyes met mine. I had a huge smile on my face, she did not. "Oh, you're here."
"Hello Mrs. Connweller!" I declared in a cocky, excited exclamation. "I hope you had a wonderful trip!"
"………………….Yea."
The rest of the afternoon went on about that smoothly. A few minutes of Kimmy and her mom arguing back and forth, but ultimately Hannah gave in after Charlie said she would be spending the evening in Port Angeles anyway, and Mr.C. finally came to his daughter's defense. I did have to clean a lot of baseboards, and Kimberly was under strict orders to stay and leave with the Abrams, but it was all worth it if I could spend time with her. She walked me to the door and we said our goodbyes so she could get ready. I stood on the top step and we held hands and touched foreheads. I would be seeing her in a few hours, but it was still hard to let go.
"Ok, go do doggy things. After I shower and get dressed I'll call your house."
"So what your saying is, you would very much like it if I joined you in the shower?" She shook her head no, but kissed me anyway.
"What I'm saying is, if you get out of here and let me get ready, I might forget to put panties on under my dress." DONE. One more kiss and I was out of her yard. I could have furploded and got home a lot faster, but a jog would do me good. After her latest comment, the visions running through my head did not need an audience in the form of my pack brothers. Besides, sometimes it felt good to feel ground pounding under your feet and wind on your face. I passed the bait shop and only had 3 miles to go. The quiet was nice too. When your so use to a thousand voices in your head, nothing can be a little refreshing. Kimmy was home, partying was to be had, life was good.
Pussywhipped? You bet your ass!
*** I know this one was long winded, but there's so much that needs to be said about Jared and Kim. If we had gotten to know more than the three line introduction their relationship was given in the books, we all might not have found her character so dull.**
As always, if you people don't start commenting about anything, I swear I will never wrap this story up!