This fic is written by me, codename Shoez, and a friend, codename Sox.

Disclaimer: Sox and I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the relating characters. If any of the things on this list sound similar to any other things, it is purely coincidental. Sox and I also do not own:

-Twilight
-Star Trek
-Lost
-Dora the Explorer
-Hannah Montana's Songs
-The 'I Feel Pretty' Song
-The 'It's a Small World' song
-Frosted Flakes
-Fruit Loops
-Doctor Who
-Barney
-Those "Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts" icons
-Monopoly
-Potter Puppet Pals
-A Very Potter Musical
-A Very Potter Sequel
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-Spongebob Squarepants
-Zombie movies
-The Waffle Song
(Just by reading these you can tell this chapter is going to be a biggie...)

~Chapter Six: Babysitting Shoez and Sox, Day Two~

It was Saturday, and already Draco's sanity was in danger of slipping away. Shoez and Sox had already released ferrets into his room and filled his sock drawer with mustard, and Amelia seemed to be stalking him, staring at him with that creepy blank stare, her thumb in her mouth...

Looking into the drawing room, Draco saw Shoez, Sox, and Amelia all innocently playing Monopoly together...Or were they...?

They must be planning something... Draco wondered to himself, walking to the safety of his room. Whenever Shoez and Sox got quiet, he knew they were going to do something horrible...They had been very quiet that morning when they had woken up, oddly eating Fruit Loops instead of Frosted Flakes. Of course, Draco poured out some of the Frosted Flakes for himself, thinking nothing of Shoez and Soxs' sudden change in eating habits...Then, he realized why...

"Why aren't you two eating Frosted Flakes this morning?"

"Don't know. You can have some,"

"Well, thanks-HOLY...!"

Draco shuddered at the memory of all of those spiders crawling and falling out of the box and into his cereal bowl...Never, for the rest of his life, was he going to eat Frosted Flakes again after that.

When he got up to his room, he noticed that his door was slightly ajar. Clearly he hadn't spent enough time around Shoez and Sox, because he pushed the door all the way open-

SPLAT!

A HUGE bucket of clam chowder dropped down on his head and completely coated him in chowder. Getting the bucket off of his head, he threw it down onto the ground and spun around.

"GET UP HERE, YOU LITTLE DEMONIC CHILDREN FROM H-...!"

"We're right 'ere, no need to shout," Shoez said, and Draco wiped the chowder from his eyes and saw that the Terrible Twins and Amelia were standing in front of him. "We 'eard the splat, and we just 'ad to come see!"

Draco wouldn't be surprised if steam was coming from his head and pouring out his ears.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

"Forty-two," Sox said simply. Draco smacked himself in the forehead.

"Are you still ticked about the spiders in the Frosted Flakes?" Shoez asked.

"NO DUH! YOU TWO ARE DEAD!" Draco exploded, when everything went dark...

&%$&%$&%$

"Nice move with the bucket, Amelia!" Shoez and Sox said when they had finally locked an unconscious Draco in his closet.

"Yeah, nice one, sis!" Sox agreed, rubbing her hands together. "Now we need to make a list of things we can do to Draco when he comes around!"

&%$&%$&%$

1. Read Twilight out loud at the top of your lungs.

2. Let him know you're going through his stuff.

3. Threaten to tell his parents that he keeps muggle magazines under his bed. (Do not ask how we know that.)

4. Bang on the closet door while screaming 'bother' as loud as you can.

5. Complain about your crush not noticing you, your friends, your life, ect.

6. Have a loud argument about Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. Bonus points if he joins in.

7. Have a very loud conversation about your crush. Make it obvious that Draco is your crush. For best effect, do the entire thing with a valley girl accent.

8. Tell him that he is missing Star Trek.

9. Throw things at the closet door.

10. Tell him he just lost the game multiple times. (I just lost the game!)

11. Belt out Hannah Montana songs near midnight. Bonus points if you use a megaphone.

12. Sing 'It's a Small World' or 'I Feel Pretty' for one hour straight. If Draco's brain hasn't turned to pudding afterwards, ask what he thinks of your singing.

13. Pretend to be a Dalek.

14. Put 'Barney' on with the volume all the way up. (NOTICE: It is highly suggested that you wear earmuffs and cover your eyes while doing this.)

15. Constantly ask him if he got your text.

16. Fill his socks with peanut butter.

17. Draw mustaches on all the people in his muggle magazines and comic books.

18. Keep asking him when he is going to Pigfarts.

19. Tell him how 'Lost' ends.

20. Play 'Dora the Explorer' at maximum volume. (NOTICE: Wear earmuffs and cover your eyes while doing this!)

21. Ask him to go on a date with you in exchange for letting him out of the closet.

22. Slip pictures of clowns under the doors. Don't let him give them back.

23. Do Spongebob's laugh nonstop for three hours.

24. Read him the scary Draco/Harry fics. Read the 'M' rated ones if you are feeling especially evil.

25. Tell him your life story.

26. Pretend to be a zombie and bang on the door while screaming "BRAINSSSSS!".

27. Tell him that you just ate all of his cake.

28. Read his diary out loud.

29. Trash his room.

30. Take everything he says as a challenge.

&%$&%$&%$

It was getting near dinner time, and Draco was still locked in the closet, holding his head. Shoez and Sox were jumping on his bed while belting out 'It's a Small World', and he could hear Amelia pretending to be a Dalek. It was sheer, terrible, terrible torture, and no amount of pleading would convince Shoez and Sox to let him out of his prison.

"I HATE YOU THREE!" He screamed in desperation. Shoez and Sox stopped singing immediately and walked over to the closet door. The two of them drew in one long, huge breath, and then...

"DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?" Shoez screamed.

"YEAH I LIKE WAFFLES!" Sox screamed back.

"JUST KILL ME NOW!" Draco screamed to no one.

"DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES?"

"YEAH I LIKE PANCAKES!"

"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?"

"DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST?"

"YEAH I LIKE FRENCH TOAST!"

"I HATE MY LIFE! I HATE IT! I ESPECIALLY HATE-"

(THE REST OF THIS STATEMENT BY DRACO MALFOY HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO THE GRAPHIC AND OBSCENE LANGUAGE, INSULTS TO THE TERRIBLE TWINS' INTELLIGANCE, AND THE INCORRECT USAGE OF SEMICOLONS)

There was complete, total silence. Shoez and Soxs' mouths were hanging open in shock; Amelia was giggling; Draco was panting, out of breath.

"Dang it Malfoy, there is a child in the room!" Sox said aggressively, banging on the door with her fist.

"Your incorrect usage of semicolons will corrupt Amelia's innocent mind!" Shoez added, also banging on the door. "Only one punishment will punish you enough for doing what you did to be punished!"

"Oh really?" Draco challenged.

"Yep," Sox replied, and both her and Shoez drew in large breaths...

"!" They screamed in perfect unison, banging on the door with their fists. When they were finished, they were sure Draco had fainted in horror.

&%$&%$&%$

"And so then, I, like, told him that I was, like, totally NEVER going out with him, and then he was, like, 'oh my gosh, no way', and I was, like, 'oh my gosh, way', so then he, like, totally stomped away in, like, a huff, and I, like, stuck my tounge out at, like, him!" Shoez said.

"Oh my, like, gosh, no way!" Sox gasped.

"Like, way!" Shoez said.

"So, you, like, seriously stuck your, like, tounge out at, like, him?"

"Like, oh my gosh, like, yes!"

"Oh my gosh, like, no-"

"WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT? You're preventing my small three-year-old mind from discovering what the answer to everything in the universe is so I can take it over with Mr. Fuzzy the Deranged!" Amelia snapped.

"The answer is forty-two, duh!" Sox said.

"Oh," Amelia said in a small voice. Inside the closet, Draco was hitting his head on the wall.

&%$&%$&%$

It was nearly nine o'clock in the evening. Shoez and Sox were helping Amelia fill Draco's socks with peanut butter. Draco wanted to die.

&%$&%$&%$

It as nine thirty. Draco was leaning against the closet door. Shoez and Sox asked him if he got their texts. He asked them to die.

&%$&%$&%$

"TEAM EDWARD!"

"TEAM JACOB!"

"Team break out of the closet and kill you both!"

&%$&%$&%$

"Will you let me out now?"

"Only if you go on a date with me!"

"WILL YOU STOP AT NOTHING TO ANTAGONIZE ME?"

XDDD

I nearly died while writing this. REMEMBER TO REVIEW AND TAKE THE POLL!

CHALLENGE: Who can guess what my least favorite Hogwarts house is?