throw the stars in the sky

chapter vi — blink and you won't be able to catch me.

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(from Ichi;;)

"Zuko?" I ask, hesitantly. I'm not quite sure how to approach him after last night. "Are you awake?"

There is a loud groan. "Whaddyawant?" Zuko pops up, topknot in place, but his face is one of a toddler.

"Breakfast. Iroh is waiting for us. I'll wait outside." He stares at me blearily, and then seems to actually wake up.

"Oh." I spare a smile for him, and walk out.

A few minutes later, he comes out behind me. "C'mon." He says roughly. I glance at him curiously. What's up with the attitude?

I hang back as he walks quickly towards the dining room. "Zuko? Are you—"

"That's none of your concern." My eyebrows furrow, and I reach out to touch his forearm. Just as my hand makes contact, he jerks his arm away. "Don't touch me." He hisses.

I stare at him. "What's the matter, Zuko? You're acting strange—"

"You don't know me," he growls, "So how can you know when I'm acting strangely?" My eyes widen.

"Zuko, I—"

He exhales flames. "Stop pretending like you know me, because you don't! You know nothing about me! You're nothing but a prisoner."

I take a step back, startled. "Is that what this is about?" I yell. "Even after everything I've tried to do for you, you still don't consider me anything but a prisoner?" I quiet my voice. "I could've escaped long ago. But I haven't even thought about it, because I'm trying to help you!"

"No one can help me!" Zuko hollers. "Not even you!"

"I," I start to say, then stop. "I think we could've been great friends, if things weren't like this." I turn around and stride towards my room. Outside the door, I ask, "Do you think so too?"

I don't look back at him.

.

"STUPID!" I scream. "YOU STUPID, STUPID FIRE NATION PRINCE! ARGH! I HATE YOU!" I shake my head furiously. "To think that I actually thought you gave a shit about what I do. To think that I thought we were friends. No, I'm just a prisoner!"

Am I...crying? I bring a hand up to my face. It comes away wet.

"Why am I crying?" I ask air. "Why do I care? His country ruined my life. His country ruined all of our lives. He's just another one of them. And besides, he hates me."

"You know, Miss Ichi, I don't know about that."

I start. "Iroh! What are you...?"

He chuckles, deep and long. "Zuko is in a state similar to yours. He happens to be on deck right now, scaring away anyone who comes close to him. You may be a prisoner, but Zuko never said that he hates you."

I stare at him. "Maybe..." I cut myself off. 'Maybes' are dangerous. "Thank you, Iroh."

He smiles, weatherworn and wise, and I think that perhaps he's right.

.

(from Zuko;;)

Ichi approaches me. I glare at her with ferocity I thought no one could stand. She can. "Zuko."

I nod curtly. "Ichi."

She frowns, then shakes her head, brown hair flying everywhere. "Thank you."

"What?" I ask in bewilderment. Why is she thanking me?

She smiles widely, tilting her head a bit. "Thank you."

I clench my hands. "Why are you thanking me?" I hiss.

"Because," she says simply, "you're trying so hard." She won't stop smiling.

Stop it stop it stop it stop smiling! "Stop." Her blue eyes are curious. "Stop being so nice. You have bruises from where I almost killed you last night — I just yelled at you for nothing! So why are you so nice?"

"I told you already." She pauses, thinking. "Are you trying to get me to hate you?"

My angry words catch in my throat. Am I?

I close my eyes. "I don't know." It would make sense. I hate her being so nice to me. But...I really don't know.

She sighs and starts to leave. "I think you should cut your hair." She says over her shoulder. "It makes you look too Fire Nation. You aren't like that."

She throws me a smile and walks away.

"You aren't...like that?" I murmur, confused. "Don't be ridiculous, Ichi. I'm from the Fire Nation — I'm the Fire Nation Prince, heir to the throne — of course I'm like that."

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I am practicing my stances when I realize something that makes my insides churn — Ichi's eyes were redrimmed, as if she was crying. "Is that my fault?" I ask no one in particular.

"What was that, Prince Zuko?" Uncle questions.

I shake my head. "Nothing of any concern, Uncle."

He is curious, I can tell, but I will not crack. "Is this about Ichi?" He asks.

I nod, slow and unsure. "Don't worry, Zuko," He says, placing his hand on my shoulder. "She'll be fine. We'll all be fine."

I growl. "She's too goddamn stubborn! She barely even knows me—I barely even know her, but..." I trail off. But I love her?

"But what, Zuko?" Ichi's voice rings out behind me. "You barely know me but what?"

"I don't know!" I yell, voice tinged with desperation, and I wonder how one girl has reduced me to this.

I turn to Ichi, but she's smiling sadly and I regret it. "I'm sorry." She murmurs, and walk away.

"Ichi!" I exclaim, and — without sparing my Uncle a glance — run after her.

I can only imagine the look on his face — all-knowing and smiling.

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(from Ichi;;)

The door slams open after me. "Zuko," I acknowledge, "why are you here?"

"It's my ship," he replies somewhat arrogantly, "I can go where I want."

I sigh. "That's not what I mean, and you know it." I mutter. "Why are you here, in my room, where I purposely stomped off to?"

He sighs, and for a moment I think he's mocking me. "I don't know." He says. "I just don't know, okay?"

"You came all the way to tell me that?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing. "That was pointless."

He groans. "You're making this harder than it could be, Ichi."

"What was that? Are you complaining?" I taunt, ready to annoy the crap out of him until he tells me what he really wants to say.

"No." He snaps, and turns on his heel. I rush after him.

"Zuko, I was kidding! Don't worry about it!" I exclaim, trying to catch up to him.

He stops abruptly. "Ever since you came on this ship, I've been more irrational, easier to anger, and not as good at firebending. You're affecting my life, my mission—you," He sounds desperate. "you changed me. And I don't understand why I care so much about you. That's why I can't stop hurting you, emotionally and physically." He flinches. "But I'm sorry."

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(from Zuko;;)

She doesn't say anything, so I repeat myself. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

My hands clench when she still doesn't answer. The silence is overwhelming. Then, "Why are you apologizing?" She asks.

I growl. "Because I've hurt you. And there's no excuse for that!"

"But I'm just a prisoner—and you've hurt so many prisoners before me, haven't you? You and your country." She whispers.

I sigh. "Ichi, forget about what I—"

"This isn't about what you said." She says. "This is about all the people you've hurt."

"Ichi—" I start, but cut myself off. "Whatever."

She walks away, and I regret being born as the Fire Nation Prince.