Chapter 2

Why it seems so hard to find the way

Out of this, out of this, out of this

Coz changes only scream out loud

Now I'm here

I'm counting stars...

The crunch of Paul's footsteps echoed loudly in the silence of the midnight hour with the toe of his black sneakers intermittently kicking at the grey stones as he made his way up the graveled path. His shadow stretched in front of him as he walked, guided by the soft white light of the full moon. It sat high in the clear black sky surrounded by the bright constellations of stars that twinkled like tiny pinholes above him. The stars were actually one of the few things he missed about this place; that and the smell of the ocean.

That's where he had been since he had unpacked his bag. He had sat on the beach and breathed in the fresh, salty air while listening to the rushing of the waves as they washed up on the shore. The sound had always soothed him and calmed him for as long as he could remember and God knows he had needed that calm tonight. Just being back in this place completely unnerved him and unsettled him in ways he couldn't explain yet here he was like he had been every year for the last nine years. He just couldn't stay away. Not now. Not when everything inside him needed to feel close to her.

Sighing softly, Paul stopped at the top of the path and stared up at the old red brick house that once was home. Stuffing his hands deep in his jeans pockets, he felt the warm balmy breeze blow through his hair. Nothing had changed, at least not on the outside. The familiar sash windows were cloaked in darkness but the building was illuminated by the security light that had been triggered by his movement. His somber brown eyes took in the trellising by the doorway and the pink roses that climbed up the painted wood. His mother had loved those roses. His mother had loved this house. So had he once upon a time but sadly that love had been tarnished by his painful memories and ghosts. Ghosts he just couldn't put to rest no matter how hard he tried. And he had tried. It's why he came back here year after year seeking the one thing that would help him let go of the past. But he never found it and he had a feeling he probably never would, not if his father had anything to do with it.

Pressing his lips together tightly, Paul briefly closed his eyes. He ignored that knot of guilt in his gut as he tried to imagine the old man's reaction finding him here again. No doubt his little bride had informed him of his presence. He could sense his arrival this afternoon had been quite the surprise to her. Well, she had been no more surprised than he had been. He had no idea his father had married again but then again that would have required actual communication on his part and that just wasn't going to happen. Any form of conversation between them had ended a long time ago. In fact, it had ended the day he'd buried his mother; the exact same day his dad had written him off and become a stranger to him.

Sniffing lightly, Paul opened his eyes and raked his fingers through his hair. He quickly pushed all thoughts of his father out of his mind refusing to dwell on him any longer as he made his way round the back of the house opening the door quietly. The last thing he wanted was to disturb the whole house making him even more unwelcome than he already was.

Clicking it shut behind him, Paul made his way through the dark hallway and towards the kitchen. The moonlight shone through the large French doors, half illuminating the room so he didn't bother to flick on the light. He jumped slightly startled when he heard the soft voice emanating from the shadowy darkness.

"Hey."

His brown eyes peered in her direction as he placed his hand on his chest feeling his heart pounding against his rib cage. "Jesus Christ! You scared me." he said, letting out a calming breath.

He saw her pretty face appear before him as she stepped into the soft light and he lightly shook his head causing his blonde strands to shift over his shoulders.

"Do you make a habit of sneaking up on people?" he asked her gruffly.

"Sorry. I wasn't expecting anyone else to be up."

Paul nodded as she switched on the light, his eyes briefly wincing as they slowly adjusted to the glare. As he blinked rapidly, he took in the young woman standing in front of him. Her face was free of the makeup she wore earlier and he realised just how naturally beautiful she was. Her soft brown hair fell in tousled waves over her bare shoulders resting on the creamy mounds of her breasts that poked temptingly above her silk pyjama top. He had to admit she was physically attractive. Swallowing thickly, his gaze lingered there watching her hand reach up and adjust the thin spaghetti strap that had slipped out of place. The diamond of her ring sparkled back at him reminding him who she was and quickly, it lifted him from his trance.

Clearing his throat, he wandered towards the small island in the middle of the floor not entirely sure what had come over him just then. He was obviously more tired from his journey that he thought. Still, he had to give the old goat credit. His little wife was quite the trophy. He just wondered if this broad realised exactly what she was letting herself in for. Then again, he was sure she reaped the benefits in more ways than one.

Opening the refrigerator door, Paul reached in and grabbed the carton of milk. The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk as he turned round to see her big blue eyes watching him.

"I suppose I should be grateful for small mercies." he said to her. "By the looks of things, you're not armed this time. That vase looked like it could have caused some serious damage earlier."

Stephanie sniffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "It was meant to. For all I knew, you could have wanted to attack me."

"Well you never know." winked Paul. "The night is still young, babe."

As his deep laughter echoed through the kitchen, Stephanie pressed her lips together in disapproval ignoring the voices in her head that wanted to acknowledge how sexy he sounded when he laughed. Of course, that very notion was just ridiculous. The guy was a total asshole not to mention completely full of himself. Shaking her head at him, her blue eyes narrowed in his direction. "That's not even funny. I am married to your father, you know."

"Oh I know. You don't have to remind me of that."

As his words hung between them, Paul's smile faded and there was a flicker of emotion in his brown eyes before he spoke again.

"I guess I should offer you my congratulations. Sorry I couldn't make it home for the happy event."

Stephanie lifted her shoulder in a shrug as she watched his long fingers toy with the top of the carton. "It wasn't much of a ceremony anyway."

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised. When you've walked down that aisle for a third time, the whole thing must get to be a bit tiresome."

Paul's feet shifted on the floor as he pushed aside the milk on the counter. He rested his thick forearms in front of him leaning on them as he looked towards Stephanie with an almost smug expression on his face.

"Dad has told you he's been married before, right?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes and sighed. "Of course."

"I just thought I would check. Sometimes he can be a bit sketchy on the details."

Paul paused as he glanced down at his hands, sliding his fingers together in a preoccupied movement. "I mean, take me, for example. I bet he never mentioned anything about me."

As he lifted his head, Stephanie saw something that resembled pain in his deep brown pools but it passed quickly making her wonder if she only ever imagined it.

"Not really." she admitted as she shifted her weight onto her other foot.

"Why doesn't that surprise me? I can just imagine his face when you told him I'd shown up here today." he snorted.

"Actually he doesn't know. He didn't come home. The meeting ran late so he decided to stay in the city."

"A meeting, huh?"

There was something in his tone that irritated her. Furrowing her brow in Paul's direction, Stephanie glared at him. "That's what I said."

"What kind of a meeting?"

"How should I know?" she replied, annoyed. "We don't really discuss his business."

"I'll bet you don't."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well you're not exactly going to be interested in how Dad makes his money, just as long as he makes it."

"You know I don't think I like what you're implying here." said Stephanie, enraged.

Paul pushed himself off the small island, straightening up as he took in her pissed off expression. As he raked his fingers through his long blonde hair, he knew he didn't care if he had angered her. After all, he was only calling it as it was. It was obvious to anyone with a brain in their head that this was a marriage of convenience for her; her and that Barbie doll his father had gotten in tow with previously. Their wedded bliss had ended after just three years and their parted ways had set him back a pretty penny or two just like this one would. It was only a matter of time. He was just glad he wasn't relying on the old man's inheritance to set him up for life. The rate he was going, it would be soaked up by his greatest vice; his women. Giving a snort of disdain, he glowered at Stephanie.

"Of course you don't you like it. After all, gold digger isn't exactly the most flattering of terms."

"I'll have you know I'm no gold digger." she said outraged, her manicured finger pointing in his direction.

"No? Then why the hell are you here? It sure isn't because you love the guy."

Paul's piercing brown eyes glared at her and she felt a pang of guilt in her chest knowing his words were completely accurate.

"I do." she replied weakly wondering who she was trying to convince. It wasn't herself and it certainly wasn't Paul yet his judgement of her had made her defensive. She'd be damned if she admitted the truth to the likes of him. As she jutted her chin out almost defiantly, Paul snorted at her loudly.

"Are you kidding me? The guy is sixty years old for Christ sakes not to mention the fact he's an evil, selfish old bastard. Why the hell would you be attracted to the likes of him?"

Stephanie looked at him in stunned wonderment hearing the venom in his words as he talked about his father. John was his only parent and she could never imagine despising her mother in such a way. "That's your father you're talking about." she scolded feeling the need to reprimand him for his actions.

"Oh I'm well aware who he is toots. I don't need you to spell it out for me and I don't have to be a genius to figure out why you're here. I mean look at you."

"What about me?"

Paul's brown eyes seemed to soften as they scanned her face. "You're young and you're extremely beautiful."

Stephanie swallowed thickly as she heard the gentle undercurrent in his deep tone.

"Why the hell else would you be with that man except for his money."

She glanced away as she felt that knot of guilt in her gut once more.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

Paul's arrogant tone made her bristle with anger. Yes, she married his father for his money but it wasn't about material gain. It was about saving the most precious person in her life. She would go through hell and back to give her mother the tiniest chance of living and beating the disease that had completely crippled her. John had offered her that chance and she had grabbed it with both hands. Sure, she was unhappy and most nights she cried herself to sleep. Her husband could be a vicious and cold man but sacrificing her own happiness for her mother's life was a small price to pay if it spared her. She was prepared to do whatever it took to get her better including dealing with an arrogant son of a bitch like Paul. Suddenly he seemed a lot like John despite their physical features bearing no similarities to one another and she wasn't going to waste her breath trying to make him understand her situation.

"You don't know what you're talking about so don't you dare make assumptions about me!" she warned him.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah really." she said loudly.

Paul was silent for a second as his hand searched for the milk carton once more. As he unscrewed the cap, his head slowly lifted towards her. "You're quite the little spitfire, aren't you?"

As he took a large mouthful of the cold drink, he felt Stephanie's eyes on him, burning a hole through him as she watched him in silence. He could feel her rage in her ocean blue pools. The funny thing was she looked sexy as hell when she was angry which only encouraged him to fuel her rage further.

Swallowing the milk, he brought the carton from his mouth. "What? Should I be a good boy and drink from the glass?"

Her nostrils flared as she glared at him. "You're not funny. I'm going to bed."

As she spun on her heel, his voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Wait."

She stood there with her back turned to him, reluctant to even look in his direction. Her shoulders rose and fell with her controlled breathing as she felt him walk towards her, the faint scent of his spicy cologne following him. As she breathed it in, she felt her anger slowly start to dissipate.

"You never did tell me your name and of course Dad has been a little sketchy on the details." he said, surprising her.

She swallowed thickly as she glanced back over her shoulder not quite meeting his brown eyes. "It's Stephanie."

"Stephanie, huh?"

She nodded as she slowly looked back towards the hallway. Silence descended for a moment as they stood inches apart and she licked her dry lips. The air felt thick between them as the low hum of the refrigerator kicked in slightly startling her. It was quickly followed by Paul's deep tone.

"Well goodnight Stephanie."

"Goodnight." she replied softly. She didn't look back as her bare feet scurried along the highly polished floor. For some reason she didn't trust herself to. She didn't know why. Maybe it was because she had felt this overwhelming tension between them just now; a tension she just couldn't explain. A tension she didn't want to explain. Besides, she had probably imagined it. But if that was the case, why was her heart beating so fast and why did she have the uncontrollable urge to turn around and go back in that room?