Chapter 16

You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds, rage
And it's so amazing
'cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now
'cause you've brought me too far

Paul hadn't noticed her yet. His head was slightly bowed as he walked along the hospital corridor, his soft blonde strands tucked beneath a black baseball cap. He was wearing a matching black t-shirt and cargo pants and in that moment Stephanie swore she had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. In fact, it almost felt like she was dreaming right now; like this was all too good to be true and Paul was some apparition her mind had made up out of desperation.

She honestly couldn't believe he was actually here. Paul was supposed to have gotten on a plane. He was supposed to be hundreds of miles from here yet there he was only a matter of feet away and almost close enough to touch. And God, did she want to touch him. Her arms were physically aching to hold him and feel the gentle heat of his embrace and seek the comfort and reassurance she always found there. With Paul, she always felt so strong and pretty damn invincible.

Just then Paul lifted his head and his brown eyes flickered with recognition when he looked to see her standing just in front of him. Stephanie felt his intense stare work its way into her and she swallowed thickly, feeling slightly overwhelmed as her lips twitched with her slow smile.

"What are you doing here?" she asked surprised.

Those brown eyes seemed to soften and sparkle under the rim of his cap as Paul took a step closer, lifting his shoulder in a casual shrug.

"You know I've been asking myself the same thing since I got off the plane."

Stephanie's blue eyes widened in disbelief as her fingers lifted to adjust the leather strap of her bag on her shoulder. "You got off the plane?"

He nodded his head, chuckling lightly. "The air stewardess was far from impressed by the way."

"I can imagine."

"She also threatened to sue me for emotional distress."

Stephanie snorted lightly as she let out a giggle. "She did? Why? What did you do?"

"Let's just say I may have raised my voice a little when she was refusing to let me off five minutes from take off. But I just knew I had to get out of there. I couldn't stay on that flight."

She felt her heart start to pound once more as a hundred and one questions started to rush through her head. Why couldn't Paul stay on that plane? What had stopped him from leaving and why was he here now?

And as Paul reached for her arm gently guiding her to the side, Stephanie liked to think she knew the answers to those questions. But she didn't want to trust what she felt deep in her heart. Honestly, it was more than she dared to believe and it only gave her false hope anyway that they had a future together. God knows, there were a million and one reasons why Paul shouldn't be here. Reasons that she was quickly beginning to forget especially when all she could think about was how much she loved this man and how much she needed him. He was quickly becoming to mean everything to her.

"Of course all morning I tried to tell myself leaving was for the best."

Stephanie bit down on her lip and slowly lifted her eyes to look at Paul. His handsome face wore a sombre and thoughtful expression as his thick fingers sought out hers lightly gripping her fingertips.

"I knew staying here was a bad idea for both of us." he continued. "And I'd managed to convince myself I was doing completely the right thing until I got on that plane and that was when I realised I couldn't go through with it."

He paused as his brown eyes scanned her face and his fingers slid through hers making her body tingle with the sensation of his delicious warmth.

"I couldn't leave you, Steph." he admitted.

She swallowed, stunned and couldn't stop the grin that slowly spread across her face.

"You don't know how glad I am to hear that." she told him just as the tannoy crackled above them and shifting her feet, she licked her lips and briefly glanced around her as a nurse charged past catching her attention. It made her remember where she was and she quickly realised this wasn't exactly the ideal place to hold a private conversation and they should probably get out of here.

"Listen, I was just about to get some coffee. Maybe you could join me?" she asked shyly as she tucked her brown strands behind her ear.

"Sure." nodded Paul.

Moments later they were in the quiet hospital cafeteria sitting at a table in the faraway corner. Paul was directly across from her and he was watching carefully as Stephanie stirred the sugar into her coffee.

"So, how is your Mom?"

"Better." she smiled. "Her temperature has dropped a little."

"That's good." said Paul as he lifted his mug and took a sip of his drink. His brow was furrowed thoughtfully as he placed the coffee down and threaded his two fingers through the white ceramic handle.

"You do know she's one of the reasons why I couldn't go."

Stephanie narrowed her eyes in his direction, curious as she sat back in her seat.

Paul sighed softly. "I remember what it felt like trying to cope with Mom's illness alone and I didn't want you to go through that. Not when you didn't have to."

She smiled back at him gratefully as the blood beat in her ears and the words were out of her mouth before she realised she had asked the question.

"And the other reasons for staying?"

Those incredible brown eyes of his flickered with his emotions and Stephanie struggled to catch her breath as he leant forward on his forearms and shifted closer to her.

"Do you really have to ask?"

Stephanie felt her heart melt as he covered her hand with his, lightly squeezing it as it rested on the wooden table top. She thought how beautiful his tanned skin looked and how perfectly his palm fit over her knuckles. In fact, everything about him just seemed to fit almost like they were made for each other.

"You know I've lost count of the number of times I've tried to tell myself that I'm not falling for you but the more I deny it, the more I know it to be true." said Paul. "I mean, I wake up thinking about you and when I fall asleep your face is the last thing I see. My heart feels like it's about to burst every time I'm near you."

Paul paused pressing his lips together and when he looked at her, there was no mistaking the feelings shining in his deep brown pools.

"I think I love you, Steph. In fact I know I do."

Stephanie felt her blue eyes gloss over with her tears as she pushed back the lump in her hot throat, her lips trembling with her smile. "I love you too." she whispered.

"But I think we both know it's not as simple as just loving one another."

She nodded and sighed sadly as a tear escaped over her lashes and trickled down her cheek. She didn't try to disguise it as she thought of those million and one reasons why this was so complicated. There was John, the money and more importantly, there was her mother. She was the woman who was her life and who meant the whole world to her. But was it a world she could survive in without Paul? This morning, she thought so. Now, she just wasn't so sure; not when the thought of being without him killed her inside. But if that killed her, the thought of losing her mother killed her even more because if she lost her mother, she lost her for good and that wasn't a risk she was prepared to take. John had made it perfectly clear that loving another man came with severe consequences for her and her mom. And those consequences would be even more severe once he knew Paul was the man she loved. But if that was the case, why couldn't she let go of him? Why couldn't she just get up and walk away from this? Did she honestly think she could find a way out of this mess when the cards were stacked so highly against them?

Sniffing back her tears, Stephanie slowly shook her head as her big blue eyes stared back at Paul.

"So what are we going to do?" she asked him.

"I don't know. I just know that I want to be here with you."

"I want you here too."

Paul's lips curved up gently. "Then that's all that matters. The rest, we'll take one day at a time, one hurdle at a time, okay?"

Stephanie rolled her lips together before letting out a shaky breath. "Okay." she agreed.

"Things will work out, Steph. We'll find a way."

As Paul squeezed her hand once more, Stephanie tried to draw on his strength and trust that he was right. She had to trust that they would find a way to be together because the alternative to that just didn't bear thinking about. She loved Paul and she needed him. She didn't want to be without him. She just couldn't be.