I do not own Criminal Minds, the characters, the actors, etc (:

& also again thanks to all the wonderful people out there who've been reading!

Kaila Fisher

After Eric left, I was completely alone. I just sat there, thinking about what happened. I wanted to cry, but I refused. I didn't want to risk someone coming in and seeing me. I'd called Emily, but she didn't answer. I figured she was sleeping. I decided I was not going to tell her Amelia and her family came. I didn't want to risk myself telling her what happened, and then somehow that leading to what Eric does to Amelia... what he would do to me. I know Amelia was miserable, but deep down, she still loved her parents. She told me several times that even though her father is abusive, he's still her daddy, and nothing would ever change that. Even though her mother was an alcoholic, and hardly there, she was still Amelia's mom. And besides, they hadn't always been this way. When Amelia and I were six, Amelia's younger brother died. He drowned in their pool. Her brother's name was Christian, and he was four when he died. I closed my eyes, I could still remember it like it was yesterday...

I was over at Amelia's house, because my mom had to work a double shift that night. Amelia, Christian, and I were outside. Amelia and I were in her tree house. We wouldn't let Christian come up and play, too.

"Mia! I wanna play too!" Christian yelled up to us.

"No Christian! You're too young to play with us, and plus you are a boy! This is the girl's club!" Amelia yelled back.

"Mommy says this is OUR tree house, Mia! You have to share with me!"

"No I don't! Now go away, Kaila and I are in the middle of a game!"

"Why can't you let me play too?" Christian whined. "I'm gonna go tell on you!"

"No no no! Fine, you can play. Kaila is my sister, and she has a baby. I watch it while she goes to work. She is a nurse like her mommy. You can be um..." Amelia trailed off in thought.

"You can be the daddy Christian!" I said, trying to make him feel included. "My daddy likes to go fishing, so why don't you pretend to go fish and me and Amelia will call you when we need you home, kay? Only sometimes when we call my daddy he doesn't answer, but Mommy says he is just busy. So you don't have to always come when we call you."

"Okay!" Christian said, smiling as he ran off. That was the last time anyone talked to Christian. After he ran off, Amelia and I went inside. We were bored playing whatever it was we called the game we were playing, and we wanted to start a band. Eric was at work, and Shanna was watching all three of us. Amelia and I were so caught up in starting a band, Shanna never even asked where Christian was. She was helping us think of band names, costumes, and whether we should sing country, or pop music.

We decided our band name would be '"Amazing A and K Band," At six years old, that was a pretty legitimate name. We wore ballerina tutus, and pink t-shirts. We sang both country music, and pop music. After one song, Shanna's face fell. We noticed, and stopped the music.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Amelia asked.

"Where is your brother?" Shanna asked her seriously.

Amelia's eyes widened, she said nothing.

"Amelia Grace Lambert! WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER?" She said again, frantic. Amelia still said nothing, so I spoke up.

"Um he- he was outside. He wanted to play in the tree house but he couldn't because he isn't in the girl's club so I told him to pretend to go fishing and now I don't know where he is." I confessed, tears forming.

"Oh, my God. He didn't go near the pool did he? Eric hasn't fixed the lock on the fence! It would be so easy for Christian to get in! Oh, God." Shanna said, running out the back sliding glass door, towards the pool area.

Amelia grabbed my hand when we heard Shanna's scream. "Amelia, call 911, now!" Shanna yelled. Amelia did as she was told, and then the paramedics arrived. The EMTs worked on Christian all the way to the hospital. Amelia and I had to ride in the ambulance with Shanna and Christian. Eric left work and was on his way, and so was my mom.

Once we were at the hospital, Amelia, Shanna, and I were all in tears. I don't really remember anything after that, not until Eric got there later on. He grabbed Amelia out of the chair she was sitting in, and he took her out of the waiting room. I don't know what he did, or what he said, but when he brought Amelia back she told me he was very mean to her, and that it was all her fault Christian was dead, because she should have been the good big sister and watched him.

My mom got there shortly after. She cried with Shanna, and told her if there was anything she could do to help, to let her know. Then she took me home, where we both cried even more. I didn't tell her what happened with Eric. I always said I told my mom everything... but I guess that was a lie, because she never knew anything of the Lamberts other than Amelia was my best friend, and her parents were "good people."

After that, her parents were never the same. They blamed Amelia, but I felt the most guilty. I was the one who told Christian to go pretend fishing. It was my fault he went near the pool. It was my fault he drowned. It was my fault Amelia was abused every single day by her parents. It was all my fault, and not a day went by since then, that I didn't acknowledge that. I couldn't leave Amelia, knowing the blame was on me. I wouldn't do that to her, so I made a vow to myself as I waited for Emily to come back, that I would not tell Emily. I would go with Eric and Shanna. Even if it meant I would be unhappy, even if it mean I may not see Emily again.

I lay there thinking, for quite sometime. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was awake. I was screaming, my face was hot, I was shaking, and I felt sick. I covered my own mouth with my hand to shut myself up. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. No one came in my room, so I assumed no one heard me. I looked at the clock, it was almost 10pm. Where on God's green earth was Emily?

I knew she would be back. She looked exhausted before she left, so I figured she was still sleeping. My nurse came in the room a few moments later, to check on me before she clocked out for the night.

"Do you want me to stay until you hear from Emily?" she asked me.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you though." I told her.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." She told me, smiling, and leaving.

I tried running my fingers through my hair, something I did when I was upset. But my fingers kept getting stuck, because my hair was so matted and tangled. I wondered what I looked like, then decided I probably didn't want to know. I wasn't allowed to stand, so I hadn't had a shower in awhile, just sponge baths. God, what I would do to take a shower. Or, to wear something besides this stupid hospital gown, I thought.

Lost in thought, I hardly heard the phone in my room ringing. It had to be Emily.

"Hello?" I answered. Sounding much more weak and feeble than I meant to. She told me she'd slept longer than she meant to. I asked her to come back, sounding like a needy little child. She said she was on her way, and we hung up.

Then it hit me, what was I going to say to her? She was going to ask what happened. I was panicking, and I swear Emily teleported to the hospital and into my room, because the next thing I knew, there she was, by my side. She caught me off guard.

"What happened? Did you have another nightmare?" She asked me. I looked at her.

"Yes," I lied. "That's what happened. I shouldn't have called you though. I'm fine. I promise." I said, trying to act braver than I was, trying to not let on something much bigger was bothering me.

Emily said I looked like I hadn't slept. I lied again and said I wasn't tired at all. When really, I was at the stage of tiredness where my head hurt, my eyes hurt, and I just wanted to cry.

A few moments later, Emily left to go call one of her team members, and get us some food. I didn't remember the last time I ate anything, but instead of being thankful, I snapped at Emily. I'm not sure why, but I tended to snap when I was upset and stressed. Once she left the room, I was alone again. I figured I might as well get used to it, since I wouldn't have Emily there to help me once I left the hospital.

That thought scared me to death. I hadn't really taken time to let that sink in until right now. Emily had been the only person who stayed with me, the only person who knew how to get me through my nightmares, who knew how to make the hospital less of a pain. Once I was discharged, I wouldn't have that sense of security again. And God knows, my fear would only increase once I was in the "care" of Eric and Shanna Lambert.

My heart rate increased to an insane level, I was shaking harder than I ever had, and I started hyperventilating. It felt like the walls were closing in around me. I had to get out of there, I had to leave that room. But, it would be hard with the stupid IV in my arm. I didn't let that stop me. I closed my eyes and yanked the needle out of my arm as hard as I could. I bit my lip so hard that I drew blood to prevent me from screaming out in pain. Bad idea, I thought. My arm started bleeding and bruising instantly. Damn it! I grabbed my arm where I was bleeding, trying to make it stop. I slowly got out of bed, as quickly and quietly as I could manage. I had no other clothes, save for the ones I'd been admitted in; my favorite pair of bright blue pajama pants and an over sized dark gray t-shirt. I knew where they were, they were in a bag in the bathroom. They would be cut up, and bloody. But I didn't care. I walked into the bathroom, ignoring the pain in my stomach from walking, still clutching my arm, and got the bag down. I changed, then waited for there to be no one in my hallway. When the coast was clear, I sneaked out of my room. I wandered aimlessly for awhile, unsure of where I was even going to go. Then, I thought of somewhere, that maybe might make me feel a little bit better.