"All right," Connor said briskly. "About ninety minutes ago, Murphy went out for a smoke. And I know the man's a chimney, but it wouldn't take him that long to finish an entire pack, let alone one cigarette."
Robin bit her lip. Barney tapped his feet. Connor paced back and forth.
"So where the hell could he be?" Connor burst out angrily.
"Well, if he was planning on going somewhere, he would've taken his phone, right?" Barney suggested.
"Or gotten dressed?" Robin added.
Barney raised an eyebrow. "So… he went out for a cigarette…. naked?"
"No! I mean, all he had was jeans and a sweatshirt. I mean, it's cold out there."
Barney nodded. "Right. So, if he had known he was going somewhere, he would've worn a jacket, too."
"So he didn't know he was… Barney, are you suggesting he was kidnapped?" Robin asked.
Barney shrugged.
"Well, that's just ridiculous…"
"Not really," Connor mused.
Robin and Barney stared at him.
"Why would someone want to kidnap him?" Robin said slowly.
"Believe me, there are plenty of people who would like to see me and Murphy dead," Connor said flatly.
"Dead?" Robin said, her voice rising frantically.
"No, I mean, I don't think he's dead… I just, well, a lot of people would have reason to kidnap him."
"Which is why?" Barney asked.
Connor sighed. "It's a long story."
"… Is it an illegal story?"
Connor pondered that. "Would you prefer a lie, or the truth?"
"Oh, my God," Robin said faintly, falling on the couch. Barney too felt a little dizzy.
The door opened; Ted, Marshall, and Lily came in.
"Hey, guys," Ted said briskly. "Um, Connor, we just found this on the door…"
If you ever plan on seeing your beloved brother again, you'll come find him at 11 44th street.
Now even Connor needed to sit down, his head in his hands and his mind racing at a thousand miles per hour. The ransom note slipped out of his grasp. Everyone watched him apprehensively.
Finally, Connor raised his head. "Robin," he said quietly, "can I borrow your gun?"
(Please excuse my awfully generic ransom note.)