Chapter 19

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life
Never gone

"I wish you were coming with me."

Stephanie pressed her lips tightly together as she remembered Paul's whispered words. Her blue eyes were glossy with tears that she tried to control as she looked around the busy airport. It was filled with people catching flights and people saying goodbye to their families and their loved ones. Her chest ached knowing she would be saying goodbye too. God knows she didn't want to but she had no choice because Paul was leaving today. Their brief time together was coming to an end and there was nothing she could do stop it. A few hours from now and they would be hundreds of miles apart. Paul was going back home.

Pushing back the hot lump in her throat, Stephanie turned her head. Her heart was heavy as she saw Paul leave the check-in desk and slowly walk towards her. The plane ticket in his hand felt like a kick to her gut and she felt a wave of desperation wash over her as he approached her. She wanted to beg him to stay. She wanted to plead with him to take her with him.

But of course, he couldn't take her anywhere. She knew that. So did Paul. That's why he'd whispered those words into the darkness last night thinking she was fast asleep in his arms. She wasn't meant to hear them. She wasn't supposed to know that she had a choice if she wanted it; a choice that Paul unselfishly had never asked her to make knowing exactly what was at stake if he did. He simply understood and she was so grateful for that. Paul got her. He got that her mother would always come first no matter what and that included her own personal happiness. Even now, she could feel her heart breaking at the thought of losing this; of losing the love she had found with Paul. What she felt for him was so incredible and strong and pure. It scared her knowing she would have to find a way to be without him – for now at least.

"Well it seems the airline hadn't blacklisted me after all." joked Paul as he stood in front of her.

Stephanie forced a smile while inside her stomach was churning listlessly, sick at the thought of losing him. As his fingers sought out hers, her eyes began to frantically scan his face hungrily drinking him in, trying her best to burn him into her memory because all too soon, her memories were all she would have left.

"That's my flight." he sighed as the boarding call crackled over the tannoy system.

She nodded and sniffed, trying her best to hold back her tears. She wanted to be strong. She couldn't break down even if her heart felt like it was being ripped in two.

"You take care of yourself, okay?" he hushed, his hand lifting and gliding slowly down her cheek, his brown eyes flickering with his own pain.

It was all too much for Stephanie to bear and she couldn't stop the tear that trickled down her cheek as she brought her own hand to cover his, her fingers curling around it desperately.

"But I don't know when I will see you again." she said shakily. "I'm scared, Paul. I don't want to lose you. I can't."

Her voice broke as her eyes brimmed over with her tears. Paul pulled her into his arms and she dropped her head to his shoulder, closing her eyes and holding onto him tightly.

"You're not going to lose me, Steph. I promise." he whispered into her hair. "I love you. I'll always love you."

Stephanie swallowed hard, pushing back the hot lump in her throat as she lifted her head. Her bottom lip lightly trembled as she looked into his eyes and whispered back. "I love you too."

His expression was gentle as his thumb lightly wiped at her wet cheek.

"This isn't goodbye, you know."

"No?"

Paul slowly shook his head.

"Then why does my heart feel like it's breaking in two?"

Just then the tannoy crackled again announcing the final call for the flight. To Stephanie, the muffled words were like a death sentence and she suddenly felt a little cold and a little frightened.

"I'll call you, okay?" said Paul softly.

His lips brushed over hers lingering for a brief moment before he reluctantly pulled away, his fingers brushing over hers as he took a couple of steps back and lifted his bag.

Stephanie could only watch as he walked away, his distinctive figure disappearing into the crowds of people. Her tears slipping down her cheeks, she lifted her hand in a slight wave.

"See ya." she said softly before turning on her heel and walking in the opposite direction.