Chapter 21

When this whole world gets too crazy
And there's nowhere left to go
I know you give me sanctuary
You're the only truth I know
You're the road back home

Paul made his way to the hospital room, his hand clutching the cup of coffee he had brought for Stephanie. He didn't know why he had bothered really. She hadn't even touched the last cup he had offered her a little earlier on but he just had to do something, anything to stop him feeling so useless. Stephanie was hurting and unfortunately there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

Sighing softly, Paul's hand lifted to rake through his hair. He spotted her as he glanced through the small side window. She was sitting by her mother's bed clutching her hand tightly. His heart broke for her knowing she hadn't left her side once, fearing that she could slip away at any second. She wanted to be there for her final breath. She didn't want her mother to be alone and that was something he more than understood. He just wished there was something he could do to help her. Even from here, he could see Stephanie's face was etched with her pain and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and make that pain go away. But he couldn't no matter how badly he wanted to and he had to admit that made him feel pretty fucking helpless. Instead all he could do was be here for her and be her shoulder, a safe place to fall when she needed him. And he knew she did need him. He had heard it in her voice in the frantic phone messages she had left on his answer machine. That's why he had jumped on the first plane and gotten here as fast as he could. He didn't want her to be alone through this either.

Pushing open the door, Paul silently entered the room and the warm air instantly stifled him. Seeing Linda lying there flooded his mind with memories and reminded him of his own heartache. But none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was Stephanie and getting her through this.

Slowly approaching the bed, he saw Stephanie lift her head and her big glossy blue eyes killed him as they stared up at him.

"How are you holding up?" he asked her placing the coffee down on the small stand. His big hand reached to smooth back the hair from her forehead before dropping a kiss there and taking the small plastic chair next to her.

"I'm okay." she replied softly.

"Really?" he asked knowing better.

The tears shone in her eyes as she slowly shook her head. Her fingers felt ice cold as he gripped them lightly. "I'm just so glad you're here, Paul. I don't think I can do this on my own."

Stephanie pressed her lips together tightly as her composure began to shake and let her head fall to rest in the crook of his neck. She turned her head breathing him in, seeking solace in his gentle warmth.

"You won't be alone." he told her. "I'm here Steph and I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

As he kissed her hair, Stephanie closed her eyes taking comfort in his reassurance to her. But deep down, she already knew Paul would be there for her. That's why she called him. She knew he wouldn't let her down and just the fact he was here soothed her more than any words could and gave her the strength to face all of this. Without Paul, she would crumble. She needed him so desperately.

"At least she looks peaceful."

Stephanie sniffed and lifted her head. Her blue eyes were gentle as they fell on her mother, her thumb lightly grazing the sharp knuckles of her small fragile hand. "The doctor told me she wouldn't be in any pain. That's something I guess."

She sighed softly as she gazed at her sadly.

"I just wish she would open her eyes. Just for a moment. Just so I can tell her just how much I love her and how much I'm going to miss her."

Stephanie's voice cracked and she dropped her head overwhelmed by her sorrow. Paul's arm slipped around her shoulder as her tears burned the back of her throat and she bit down on her lip trying her hardest not to cry. She wanted to stay strong. She was too afraid to let go because once she did, she wasn't sure she would be able to stop. This whole thing was breaking her heart and she was so frightened inside. While she was grateful her mother's suffering was almost over, she didn't know how she was going to survive without her. She was the most precious thing in the world to her. Her mother was her best friend and her confidante. It had always been the two of them, together. Now she would have to do it all alone and find a way to be without her and she wasn't so sure she could.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

She jumped in her chair, slightly startled by the disapproving voice. John. She hadn't heard him enter the room.

As she glanced up, she saw Paul smile at her reassuringly before he released her and stood up to face his father. His wrinkled thin face was set in a disapproving scowl as he glared back at him.

"I asked you a question." he reminded him.

Paul slowly shook his head unable to believe the audacity of the man. It was clear he was looking to start an argument. And while he couldn't blame him for being upset at finding him here, he had to remember the bigger picture here. Stephanie's mother was dying. He could at least show a little fucking respect.

"Look, I don't think this is the time or the place….."

John pointed his finger interrupting him. "I don't give a damn what you think. I just want to know what you're doing here."

"I'm here for Stephanie." he replied simply.

"Stephanie? Why? She doesn't want you here."

"I think that's her decision to make, don't you?"

John's cold grey eyes narrowed in his direction. "Don't you get smart with me boy! Stephanie is my wife. I know what she wants and what she needs."

"Do you really?"

"Yes I do. And don't think I don't know what this is about. You're only here to try and ease your guilty conscience over your own mother."

Paul's brown eyes flashed dark with his anger. "Don't you dare bring her into this!"

"And why not? It's the truth!"

His mouth parted to reply when Stephanie's voice silenced him.

"Just stop this, both of you!"

He turned to look at her. Her bottom lip was trembling with her emotion and he immediately felt guilty knowing this was the last thing she needed. God, he was so stupid but it was all because of his father. The old bastard always had a way of pushing his buttons.

As his face flickered with his tight apologetic smile, Stephanie nodded acknowledging him before folding her arms across her chest and turning to her husband.

"John, Paul is staying. I asked him to be here."

"Why?"

"It's simple really. I need him."

"Wh…what? How?"

As his stunned face stared back at her, Stephanie reached for Paul's hand. She gripped it tightly sliding her fingers through his and finding her courage there. She was so sick and tired of living of a lie. It was time for the truth and the truth was she didn't need John any more. Not now her mother was dying. His money couldn't save her now. Nothing could.

"I don't believe this."

John stared between them angrily. His nostrils were flaring with his rage as he looked at Paul, the reality of the situation slowly dawning on him.

"So how long have you been screwing my wife?" he spat out.

"Dad…."

He lifted his hand instantly silencing him. "Don't you call me that! Don't you ever call me that! I'm not your father. You're not my son."

He shook his head as he took a step back.

"You make me sick. Both of you."

The door slammed shut behind him as John quickly left the hospital room. Paul let out the breath he hadn't realised he had been holding and turned to Stephanie. His brown eyes were remorseful as they sought out hers.

"I'm so sorry, Steph."

"I'm not."

His face flickered with his surprise at her blunt reply. Stephanie noticed his confusion and lightly squeezing his fingers, she smiled sadly.

"Don't you see? It's going to be over. The whole lie is finally going to be over."

A solitary tear slipped over her lashes as she pressed her lips together and glanced over at her mother. She let out a shaky breath struggling to keep her composure as she felt Paul pull her close and hold her. She gripped onto him tightly afraid to let him go. She was in danger of completely falling apart and he was the only thing holding her together. He was the only person she could rely on and it was only a matter of time before Paul would be all she had left.