Ok.
The explosives were in place.
Now all he needed was Bruce Wayne to come home.
Although he didn't know when that would be…
And no one seemed to know either.
Theo said he was away 'until further notice.'
Everyone knew Bruce liked to keep the details of his personal life a mystery.
Everyone always knew where he was, but never why, or for how long.
That woman… Rachel, was it?
He didn't really remember.
She said that her friend had gone away with him.
He had to assume that Bruce would come home close to when she did.
So he had no choice but to go and see Rachel again.
He'd snuck into the apartment building, there where a couple of police officers hanging around outside.
Probably a PR attempt, to show people they 'cared' about how many people Joker had killed.
He knew they didn't.
Why would they?
After all these years, murders had become the norm.
Though they should feel themselves privileged to be killed by one such as Joker.
He knocked on her door, and waited for it to open.
He wondered how this meeting would go.
Would he have to force an answer out of her?
He kind of hoped so…
The door was cautiously pulled open.
Joker stuck his foot out as to stop the door slamming shut when she realised who was there.
"Oh fuck its you, what? Have you come to kill the rest of my cats?"
She didn't try to slam the door shut, instead she flung it open.
"No, no, my dear girl, no."
A wide smile appeared on his face.
"So you're gunna kill me then? Well why wouldn't you? I did make an innocent joke about you and Batman, and I do suppose that'd be an appropriate response! From you anyway! I don't know what I was thinking…"
She shook her head and walked further into her apartment.
Joker laughed.
"Why do people always assume that I'm going to kill them?"
He cocked his head "…Although I suppose that is true most of the time…"
"All I want to do is ask you a few questions."
He ran and leapt onto the sofa, then gestured for her to sit next to him.
She sat, huddled in one corner of the sofa, while Joker splayed himself out over the rest of it.
"Ok… Ask away…" She whispered.
She was so scared.
Joker couldn't help but smile.
"That cats name, it's Isis isn't it?"
She nodded.
"Her owner's on holiday with Bruce Wayne isn't she?"
She nodded again.
"When does she get back?"
She pursed her lips.
"Answer me." Joker said patently, grin growing wider.
She still didn't answer.
"I said Answer me. You saw what I did to that doorman down stairs."
"Should be Monday…"
Joker giggled.
"See? That wasn't too hard was it? No harm done right?"
She sighed.
"I suppose you're going to kill me now you've got what you wanted."
He inhaled deeply.
"Maybe later."
He might need her later.
He left the apartment without saying another word.
It was so fun messing with these people.
Of course he was going to kill her.
Eventually.
But it was fun to make her think he might not.
So, Bruce would be back on Monday.
That gave him 2 days to enjoy living in a mansion.
…
…
He sliced into a piece of coffee cake.
Not his favourite cake, but he and Theo had eaten all the other nice food in the kitchen.
It was Monday evening.
Bruce would be back soon.
Although he didn't know when.
He didn't bother hiding, he might not get back till late, and he didn't want to have missed a day in a mansion.
He was eating the last of the coffee cake when he noticed the black silhouette of Batman dart across the front lawn.
And he cursed himself as his heart skipped a beat.
He couldn't help feeling confused, he hated that.
He tried to ignore it and he ran down the stairs to the front door.
He checked his reflection and opened the door.
"Oh Batman!"
He walked to where he had seen Batman only a minute before.
"I know you're there bat-face!"
He turned, looking for him.
"Batman I know you're there, don't you want to play? Like how I did with those children last weekend?"
He started laughing maniacally.
"Joker!"
Batman had jumped on Joker before he had even realised where he was.
Joker was pushed to the ground, Batman crouched over him.
"That was a little harsh bats, what happened to the normal 'hello, how are you?'"
Batman's reply was a punch in the face.
Joker laughed.
"Ok, ok I give. The manor's going to explode."
Joker shivered with laughter.
He received another punch for the comment.
Then Batman rammed Jokers head into the floor.
He felt dizzy.
"Now now, Batman, if I'm punch drunk how am I going to be able to tell you where the detonator is?"
Joker felt himself being lifted off the floor and pinned against a nearby tree.
"Joker I swear I will make you pay for what you've done this week!"
Joker bust into fits of laughter.
"Oh I like the sound of that. Just one question though? Why didn't you stop me?"
Batman grunted.
"Seriously! I've been out for 3 weeks, and you haven't poked your nose in once!"
"I've been busy" Batman grunted, still holding Joker by his collar.
"Oh boo, that's not an answer! What have you been doing?"
Batman pushed him harder against the wall "damn it Joker, I don't have time for this! Where's the detonator?"
Joker screwed up his face in thinking.
"Why do you want it so badly? It's not as if there's anyone in there."
He was pushed even harder against the tree.
"I know you've got a hostage!"
"Hmm... Oh! Do you mean teddy?"
Batman's face had gone red with frustration.
"Fine I'll tell you! Just stop making that face, you look weird..."
"...tell me where he is, and where the detonator is..."
Joker sighed, he felt himself being lowered slightly.
"Both are in the east wing lounge."
Joker felt a slight pain on his wrists.
He looked down and saw he had been ensnared by a pair of bat-cuffs.
Batman pulled Joker by his hair, across the lawn and into the mansion.
Jokers head was pounding.
Not enough to make him loose concentration, but more than enough to agitate him.
He was being pulled up some stairs.
Into the lounge.
Batman's grip on jokers hair loosened.
But before he could make a move he felt a fist strike his ribs.
He fell backwards and land in a heap on the floor.
In the chair in the centre of the room sat Theo.
He was unconscious.
"Joker what did you do to him!"
"Oh yes, that, I wouldn't have done it but he was just so annoying."
Batman positioned himself and lifted the man out of the chair.
They heard a click, in the chair Batman saw a pressure activated button.
His eyes grew wide with near terror, he let the guard slide to the floor.
"Oh, yeah probably should have mentioned that... It's on a ten second timer."
There was a sudden flurry of movement and the Joker was grabbed by Batman and they fell out of the window.
As they hit the floor there was a deafening bang, and half of the building exploded.
Joker sat up to see Batman crouching over Theo, trying to revive him.
Joker shrugged and lifted his restrained hands to the flower on his lapel, rubbing the chain against the acid laden ornament.
He stretched out his arms, relishing the ability to move, he pulled out a handgun that had been hidden in his jacket.
He sighed "...I do miss my tommy..."
His thought was interrupted by Batman yelling in anger "he's dead! He's dead, you bastard!"
Batman turned to pounce on Joker but stopped when he noticed the gun that was pointed at him.
"Batman why bother? He was going to die eventually anyway."
"You didn't have to kill him! You didn't have to kill any of the people you have done."
Joker giggled, sending a well aimed bullet through a gap in Batman's armour, into his knee.
He fell to the floor.
"Blah blah blah! I've heard it all before!"
Joker moved slightly closer to the bat.
"Joker I know you wont kill me."
He sat on the ground beside Batman.
Joker pressed the gun to Batman's shoulder, and planted 3 bullets into the vigilantes body.
Joker sighed.
"Not yet darling..."