/Author's Note: Raise your hand if you are sick of all the vampire crap out there! *Raises hand eagerly and obnoxiously* It's invaded YA literature and it's become an almost impossible task to find a decent book nowadays not involving those fiendish beings in the bookstore. If any of you have got any recommendations for me on books not involving vampires, please, I beg of you, tell me!
Here is a one-shot degrading a certain book series that started this ridiculous craze. I'll admit I've read it and was slightly dazzled by the supposed romance (because I'm such a girl when I comes to romance), but thankfully that died out quickly. Though no offense to those who like it, more power to you I suppose. Sorry if this one-shot offends you and your love for this series, everyone has different opinions.

[Edit 09.20.10] I was reading through this when I saw the numerous mistakes I made. I apologize for that. I was half-awake when I had typed the one-shot and I forgot to read it over. There should be no mistakes now but if there are please let me know!

Vampires

"Mimi tried to get me to read another vampire novel today."

He paused midway of taking a sip of his delectable espresso and looked up with a rather blank look on his face. "Again? I thought you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with that dumb vampire craze spreading through the world."

She let out a small sigh, the crisp winter air making it appear like magic. "I did, but it won't get through to her head. Her and Miyako both. It's getting a little ridiculous."

"Want me to say something? I could take their purses hostage." Taichi suddenly said in a dark voice, a mischievous look glinting across in a devious manner.

Sora threw a napkin that barely hit him, but was well aimed considering the light winter wind that was breezing through. "No, I'm just saying it's getting annoying. I mean, I've made it clear to them that I didn't want to read the books yet they keep shoving it in my face."

"What are they even about?" Taichi asked while nonchalantly taking a sip of his warm drink, though unfortunately it was a little too hot and it scorched his tongue. He stuck it out miserably in hopes that the cold air would cool it down and numb it a little. His companion gave a light giggle at his actions. "Hikari hasn't read them yet so I don't know, though I'm not sure she ever will. She's kind of dead set against it." He continued after his tongue cooled considerably.

"And for good reason! It's done nothing but completely blind and degrade society with its cheesy, predictable plots and overly dramatic characters who are way to obsessed with each other." She finished with her spoon pointed in the air while stabbing at it vehemently.

"I see." Taichi merely replied, taking yet another sip of his coffee (without burning his tongue this time thankfully). "Well, it can't be that bad right? I mean there's vampires in it right? Vampires are always fun. Terrorizing villages, sucking out blood with their sharp fangs, wearing cool and ominous looking capes."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at the last item of his relatively short list. "Not in this book. In this one, they sparkle."

A loud choking noise disrupted the relaxing air. "Sp-sparkle? You can't be serious."

"Like a heart attack." Sora replied without missing a beat.

"Why would they sparkle? That just takes out every bit of masculinity they have. Screw how many villages they destroy or how many liters of blood they've sucked out of fearing victim- sparkling makes all of that just a feeble attempt to try mask the fact that they do. Psh, sparkling… way to totally dethrone vampires of the terrifying title they've held for decades."

Sora gave a small snort. "I know right. Ridiculous. Not only that, they're incredibly obsessed with each other. Like the guy? Sneaks into her room and watches her sleep!"

"What?"

"I know! I think I'd beat up any guy who'd even think of doing that. So creeepyyy…"

"He should lock himself up in the cuckoo house."

Another degrading snort filled the air. "You're telling me."

Simultaneously, the two of the took nice, long sips of their invigorating drinks; a nice comforting silence hanging in the air.

But Taichi realized something, quickly put down his substantially sized mug and said, "Wait, how do you know all this? As much as a big mouth Mimi and Miyako have, they've always been dead set on not giving away anything in a movie or book. It's surprising that they actually manage to accomplish it too."

Ah-ha! The inner, wannabe detective inside Taichi gave a cheer when Sora suspiciously fell silent and took a sip of her drink in a disconcerting manner.

"Er, whatever do you mean Tai?"

"Sora… have you secretly been reading the books?"

"…Maybe."

A satisfied smug found its way to his face. He welcomed it, naturally. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You can secretly enjoy your guilty pleasures around me."

"…Thank you."

/Author's Note: There was going to be more but I figured this was a good place to end it. As you can tell, I have obtained a rather distaste for this series that I won't mention even though it's blatantly clear which one it is. Again, if you like the series, good for you. Like I said we all have different opinions and tastes. Anyone I know has said they won't ever read the series , but then they end up doing so anyway particularly because humans are way to curious for their own well-being. As was the case of Sora in this one-shot. I could imagine Mimi and Miyako getting into though, being the girly girls they are. Hope you guys enjoyed this, I certainly did ^^
Please review!