Nothing of note happened that next day.
Bruce didn't dare tell anyone that he had spent another night with Joker.
He sent a few more e-mails to Selina.
He reluctantly decided to tell her about the second time with Joker.
He didn't want to lie to her.
He got one reply.
Joker had a rather relaxing day.
Happily eating cake and watching T.V.
Calmly waiting for Batman to show up.
It was around 8 when there was a knock at the door.
"Batman! Honey bun! How you doing? ... Listen I have a little bit of bad news... The video has multiplied, and I can't take them all down."
Batman grunted.
"I have some bad news for you too Joker."
Joker stared up at him, looking confused.
"As ... Enjoyable... As the last two nights with you have been..."
"You can't willingly continue? You said that last night too remember?"
Joker chuckled at Batmans failed attempt at an excuse.
"No. Well yes but. I'm not going to lie to you; I'm in a relationship, with a woman-"
Joker rolled his eyes, "so?"
"-She knows about both times... She gave me an ultimatum, either you or her. I picked her. I can't risk a perfectly good relationship because of one of your stupid games."
Jokers face knotted in frustration.
This wasn't a stupid game to him.
"So you're picking Catwoman over me?"
"I didn't say it was Catwoman."
"Oh come on, don't play me for a fool."
Batman walked towards the door, he had planned to just tell him that then leave.
As he walked to the door he felt a large, heavy object hit his back.
He sighed.
He wasn't going to fight him.
He decided the best way to deal with Jokers undeserved anger was to ignore it.
He left to find Catwoman, and tell her what had happened.
On his way he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for leaving Joker like that.
He had probably expected for Batman to come over, have a nice time, drink some tea?
Instead he was told he'd never see Batman like that again.
Batman felt no emotional attachment to him, but the carnal relationship had been good.
Batman had been able to sleep more easily, despite the guilt that had plagued him about it.
And Joker had seemed less inhuman.
He hadn't killed, or threatened anyone in days.
"Batman, good to see you. I trust you did what I asked?"
Bruce smiled at the sight of Catwoman.
She looked so beautiful...
"If I hadn't I wouldn't have come here."
Selina rushed over and hugged him.
"Purrrfect. I knew you'd do the right thing."
Bruce leaned over to kiss her.
"Not like I'd ever pick him anyway."
She kissed him back.
"I know. I've missed you."
Batman nodded.
"I know, I'm sorry, I've just been so busy."
She grunted happily, still kissing him.
"God, I would be so angry at you, if you weren't so handsome, and cute, and charming..."
She'd started touching his hips and back.
Batman smiled happily, kissing and touching her in return.
...But he didn't get that calming feeling he got when with the Joker...
Catwoman started caressing him in her normal way, which usually worked well.
But this time it didn't seem to be affecting him as much.
He tried to respond as normal.
...
...
Joker paced the floor.
He felt his head was going to explode from anger and stress.
He couldn't believe Batman had left him like that.
Left him for that cat-bitch.
If anyone was going to end this it would be him.
The best way to get him back, would be to get rid of the girl...?
He started laughing as it dawned on him.
Surely the best way to get to a girl would be to attack her best friend?
And to who else would you trust the safety of your favourite pet?
He rushed off to talk to this friend.
...
He sat on the sofa with a cup of tea, stroking the cats and waiting for Rachel to come home.
He leapt up as the door opened.
"Hello Rocky. How've you been?"
She jumped back in surprise.
"Oh my god, you again?"
He nodded happily.
"Rocky, is one of your friends called Selina Kyle?"
She persed her lips.
"Can you tell me where she lives?"
She shook her head
Joker sighed.
He walked over to her.
She didn't try to run.
She knew there was no point.
"I've been nice so to you so far..."
He took her by the arm, and twisted it as to make her fall over.
She stayed on the floor.
She didn't dare move.
"... But I'm in a bad mood today..."
He pulled a ball of string from his pocket and started tying her hands.
He pulled out a large knife.
"... So..."
He started to move the knife up and down in front of her threateningly.
"... Are you going to co-operate Rocky?"
She shook her head franticly.
"I won't tell you."
He tutted and moved the knife to her lower leg.
In one small motion he sliced through her tricep.
Though he was careful not to cut any major arteries.
He needed her alive.
She screamed in pain.
"Hush hush, you little baby. It's ok, you won't die yet."
He gagged her to stop her annoying crying.
And lifted her over his shoulder.
"Holy hell, you're heavy. Couldn't you eat a salad once in a while?"
He roared with laughter as he stumbled out of the apartment.
Hmm...
He had a long way to go.
And this girl was really heavy...
Maybe he should find a trolley and push her there...?
Hahah...
...
Everything was ready.
Girl tied up from an amazing height?
Check!
Explosions?
Check!
Guns?
Check!
Bed of large nails?
Check!
Colourful streamers?
Check!
Yup.
All ready.
Now all he needed was for cat-whore and bat-bitch to get here.
And with one click of a button they would come.
He clicked said button.
And he heard a distant bang.
Now there would be a massive fire blazing in downtown Gotham.
When the flames were seen from above they would read, 'Is your name Catwoman? Are you currently fucking Batman? Then stop and come on down to mine and your boyfriend's favourite place! Or else! Yours, Joker. Hahahahahahahahahah!'
He had contemplated whether or not to put the 'Hahahahahahahahahah!' at the end, as it might make the message too long.
He'd eventually decided to keep in the written laughter.
To make it a little bit more personal.
Now all he had to do was wait.
"You've seen the internet video with me and Batman, right?" he yelled up at Rachel.
She had been tied up to the ceiling.
Suspended over the bed of oddly large nails.
She nodded.
Joker had removed the gag from her mouth before he strung her up, so he had been expecting an answer.
"Did you like it? Turn you on did it?"
Again he got no answer.
"Uhuh... It's your fault you know. Your fault that happened. Your fault you're going to die like this, and your friend, hopefully."
She started sobbing.
"You... don't have to kill me...!"
Joker sniggered.
"Why do people always say that...? Why try to reason with me? You 'know all my little tricks' remember! You should know that shit won't fly with me!"
He chuckled to himself as he walked and sat in his blue chair.
There was a massive thud at the door.
Someone was trying to get in.
"Who is it...?" Joker sang.
There was another thud.
Then silence.
Whoever it was had realised they couldn't break through the door.
And there were no other ways to get in.
"If you tell me who you are, I'll let you in. Mummy told me to never let in strangers!"
"It's me Joker!"
Joker shook his head mockingly.
"I'm sorry I don't know anyone called Me."
Another thud at the door.
"It's Batman! And Catwoman. Now open the door!"
"Ohhhh, batsy! Baby! Do you want me to let you in?"
"Yes!" Batman yelled angrily.
Joker smiled.
"Now that's a word I like to hear..."
He pressed another button.
It triggered a set of explosives round the door, blowing it off its hinges.
The door fell to the floor.
As it fell it pulled a string.
Which pulled apart the knot that held Rachel to the ceiling.
She plummeted toward the floor.
Batman jumped to try to catch her.
He missed by inches.
And she fell with a crunch, onto the nails.
Her blood spilled over the floor.
Catwoman screamed in anguish as she realised who had just been killed.
She threw herself at Joker.
Punching, clawing, kicking him.
Shouting at the top of her voice "You bastard! I'll Fucking kill you!"
Joker, laughing his head off, accepting the beatings.
Batman started towards him.
Suddenly Joker, seeing Batman coming for him, grabbed one of Catwomans arms.
In a sudden twisting, jerking move, he spun her round so she was facing Batman.
He pulled a gun, and held it to her head, still twisting her arm, to the point of it almost breaking.
"Joker pl-"
"Batman don't even try."
Joker smiled over at Batman.
"Does she really mean that much to you bats?"
He didn't reply.
"You knew that I'd do something to get back at you. And what better way to get back at you? Killing people, it's what I do best, and it's what you hate most."
Batmans gaze switched from Joker to Selina.
"You know, there is a way you can convince me not to kill her..."
Batmans gaze moved back to Joker.
"What...?" He growled.
"Kiss me. Properly. Then tell me, truthfully, that kissing me isn't as good as kissing her."
Batman didn't answer, or move.
He just stood.
A blank look on his face.
As if fighting a war with his himself in his head.
He then slowly started walking towards Joker.
Joker straightened up, preparing himself.
"No. Don't Batman, don't!" Catwoman yelled.
Joker pulled harder on her arm.
She screamed in pain as it started to fracture.
"Joker, Don't!" Batman called.
Joker laughed.
"Then do it Batman! Kiss me! I dare you!"
He threw Selina to the floor, her arm now broken.
The gun was still pointed at her.
Batman rushed up to him, determined to save Selina from more pain.
He forced his lips upon Jokers.
That wonderful feeling washed over him.
Yet again.
He tried to control himself.
But he couldn't help it.
He continued kissing him.
Much longer than he should have.
Before he finally broke off.
He felt dizzy and light headed again.
He let out a happy sigh by accident.
Catwoman stared up at Batman, shocked.
Joker smiled at Batman.
"So...? Better or worse?"
Batman looked over to Selina.
"Nah-ah Batman... I don't want you getting hints from your girly-friend. Tell me what you really think."
He sighed.
"Better..."
Joker burst out laughing, "oh my god! I cannot believe you said that!"
He almost choked from laughing.
"You know what? I think I'm going to shoot her anyway."
Bang!
Batman ran forwards towards Catwoman.
Joker started laughing again.
"Blanks!" He managed to say through his laughter.
Batman turned and punched Joker.
So hard he flew backwards onto the floor.
"Woo, batsy that was a hell of a punch, I'm going to feel that for weeks..."
He got to his feet, ready for a fight with Batman.
Only to find himself alone.
"Damn... Just when I thought things were getting interesting..."
He walked over to the left corner of the room.
Howling with laughter.
Looking straight into the small hole in the wall, directly at the camera.
"Did you get that Pengi? That'll get you a hell of a lot of views!"