Bruce sat, angrily watching Jokers chest rise and fall as he slept.
But the thing was, he wasn't only annoyed with Joker for making the comment about his mother.
He was annoyed with himself, for hitting him.
He had deserved it, sure, for all he'd done that man, if you could call him that, probably deserved death.
But he had been pulled aside by Catwoman before he left and she made him promise her that he'd try to deal with him rationally.
She said that enough blood had been spilt already.
After what Bruce had done to her, he didn't want to break his promise.
Bruce stared down at Jokers sleeping figure.
He was confused at how a man who had killed so many could fall asleep so easily.
Batman had enough trouble sleeping as it was.
He didn't dare think how hard it would be if he had killed someone.
He mapped the scars and bruises that covered Jokers body.
And couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
The small dragon tattoo on the small of his back seemed to have been cut in half at some point.
He wondered if it was he who had done it.
He noticed Joker had started shivering.
He got up and walked quietly into what he guessed must be the bedroom.
It was a rather nice room.
It would have seemed that Joker had been living in relative luxury.
However it looked as if the room hadn't been used.
Everything had a slight coating of dust and the bed didn't look as if it hadn't been slept in.
How odd.
He had expected that if Joker had the option to sleep in a nice place he would.
He pulled one of the blankets off the bed and went back into the first room.
He carefully tucked the blanket around Joker.
Joker started making appreciative grunts, mumbling words that Batman couldn't quite make out.
Batman moved round so he could see Jokers face.
He tried to read his lips, but that had never been an easy thing to do with the Joker.
He moved closer so he could see better
He seemed to be whispering something about 'his honey caring for him' but he wasn't sure exactly.
Joker's eyes snapped open, making Batman jump backwards in surprise.
He looked round in confusion, "What the fuck...? Did I fall asleep...?"
Batman nodded, "yeah, about 3 hours ago."
Joker laughed, "Wow! That's gotta be the longest I've slept in years."
"How come you fell asleep so easily this time?"
The clown wiped the sleep out his eyes.
"You tell me Bats. Did you drug my tea? ... No, that's not your style."
He looked up at Batman, "maybe it's just having you here?"
Batman cocked his head, "how would that work?"
The madman shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe it's coz normally, I'm the one who watches out for trouble, and having you watching over me has made me feel safe? Or made me calmer or more relaxed or something... Have you slept at all?"
Bruce shook his head, "of course not, I've been keeping an eye on you... You can go back to sleep if you want."
"Oh aren't you a little lamb, but no, I'm up now. Could I have some tea? Or something stronger? There's some whiskey in one of the cupboards."
Batman grunted and walked into the kitchen, He opened the cupboards, standing to one side as he did so in case they were boobie trapped.
"Don't you have anything other than junk food and alcohol?"
Joker laughed.
"Nah, I'm not really into all that healthy shit, no point."
Bruce grabbed a half full bottle of whiskey, "don't you want to live longer?"
Joker roared with laughter, "Do you want me to live longer Batsy? I'd have thought you'd want me to die as soon as possible."
Batman walked to Joker, handing him the bottle.
"No, I don't want you to die, I just want you to stop killing people."
Joker giggled, "always the good Samaritan. Even to me."
Batman sat back on the blue chair, "I can't help it, it's how I've always been... But, The Joker is not who you've always been."
"Yeah it is, for as long as I can remember, and I know I've been like this for longer that I've been anything or anyone else." Joker muttered, taking a long swig of his drink, flinching slightly at the taste.
"Don't try to turn me into something I'm not."
Batman sighed, "I'm not, but if you're not happy like this then you should change."
Joker laughed mockingly, "I never said I wasn't happy! I love playing these games with you, I love making my jokes, and pulling pranks on people. I love killing people! Their final screams. That satisfying pop as their heads explode."
"You're lying to yourself Joker. Why do you think you can't sleep? You feel guilty for what you've done, you just don't realise it. Maybe the fact you felt safe with me here isn't the only reason you could sleep last night. Maybe subconsciously you knew that with me here you wouldn't be able to do anything terrible."
Joker giggled and shook his head, "you're messed up, I know my own mind and I know that's not true."
"If you know your mind so well then how come you can't remember who you used to be?"
He made an odd grunting noise, "coz my mind won't let me, if I let myself remember I'll break completely, so please don't try to make me, you'll turn me into a man 100 times worse than I am now."
Batman paused.
"You sound as if you're holding your back at the moment."
Joker tittered, "nah, not really, I just know I could be so much worse."
"You don't have to turn back into whoever you were before, you could become a new person all together."
The maniac chuckled, "yeah but who has the time?"
"Why else do you think we're here Joker?"
Batman sunk to the floor, sitting next to Joker.
"You said you're broken, I can help fix you."
Joker chuckled again, taking another swig of whiskey, "I'm not some fuckin' broken toy, you can't just wrap me in cellotape and call it a day. And I'm not broken, there's nothing wrong with me."
Batman smirked, "I think the fact that you said that second proves that you think you are."
Joker pulled the blanket tighter around him, "shut up, Batman. You don't know what you're going on about."
Batman smiled to himself, "OK, maybe we'll talk about it later then?"
Joker tugged his line of sight away from Batman.
Bruce suddenly felt a buzzing from one of his belt pockets.
He pulled out a small mic-speaker set and moved into the kitchen.
Though he made sure he could still see Joker.
He put the speaker bud in his ear and held the mic to his lips.
"Yes?"
A slightly muffled voice came through the speaker.
"Master Bruce? Just calling to ask how things are going? Miss Kyle's asking after you."
Bruce smiled, "yeah things are going fine, I'm making progress I think. Tell Selina I'm keeping my promise, and that I miss her."
Alfred chuckled, "oh and the Commissioner tried to contact you, it seems he's decided to talk to you about your thing with Joker."
He smiled again, "OK, get me through and call me back in a bit OK?"
"Yes Sir I'll call you back within the half hour."
A loud static hummed through Batman's ears as Alfred hung up.
He re-entered the first room, holding a few tea biscuits.
"Was that your girlfriend then Bruce?"
"Yes actually - Hang on, who's Bruce?"
Oh shit, if Joker knew who he was, he didn't want to think about what could happen...
"s you isn't it? Either that or you're some other billionaire, and Bruce Wayne just happens to be going out with the same gal as you. He stealin' her from you is he?"
Joker started giggling.
"I'm not Bruce Wayne." Batman chuckled.
Joker tutted and shook his head, "baby, you are such a bad liar. I was eventually gunna find out who you were anyway, and hey, you hid it from me for a good while, just be proud of that."
He giggled alluringly, "and I know what you look like under that mask now Batsy, let me just say, I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd be as handsome as you are."
Joker knew when he was lying, there was no point.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
Batman felt another vibration coming from his belt pocket.
He grabbed the mic-speaker.
"I'll just be a minute, I have to get this."
Bruce walked back into the kitchen.
"Yes?"
Alfred's voice cracked through the static "I have Gordon on the line for you."
"OK go on."
There was a loud beep, then Gordon's voice boomed through the speaker.
"Batman? I would have called sooner but I've been dealing with the press. Is that video real? Or is it a hoax?"
Batman exhaled, "I'm sorry to say, Gordon, that it's not a hoax."
Gordon made some disgusted, disgruntled noises.
"I was forced to Gordon; I didn't do it of my own free will."
"...Well... I suppose that's something. Well thank you for your co-operation."
He hung up.
"Was that the commissioner? How's his wife?" Joker laughed.
This was another comment Batman chose to ignore.
"Can I go on your laptop Joker? I want to see what the press is saying about me, us."
Joker's eyes followed him as he walked round the room.
"Sure, quick question though, why are you using your Batman voice, not that it's not really hot, but I know who you are, why bother? Using that voice is just making me wanna do stuff to you."
Bruce chuckled, "all right, but I'm only going to use my normal voice to stop you thinking like that. And why don't you use your normal voice? Or is that creepy falsetto your real voice?"
Joker lay back on the floor.
"Oh yes my darling, I'm 100 percent real."
Bruce sat and typed 'Batman & Joker' into the news search bar.
He felt kind of amazed at the headlines that came up.
'Batman and Joker have illicit affair'
'Catching or consorting?'
'Batman and Joker clip not faked.'
He clicked on the last one, a news clip.
'The infamous popular Joker and Batman video, that appeared online several days ago, has been proved to not be a fake, despite Commissioner Gordon's disputes, we have run the video through our computers and face matching software and we can confirm that the people in the clip really are Joker and Batman. It appears that they are having a homosexual affair with each other, and now it seems we must ask ourselves, are we safe now that Batman and Joker are in a partnership? Since this video was released Joker has killed 27 people, in the fires that blazed through Gotham, a fe-"
Batman paused the video.
"Oh Batsy, listen to them, they think that this whole thing is turning you bad."
Batman closed the laptop.
The room became almost devoid of light.
"They should say that it's turning you good."
Joker chuckled, "well it's not. And all they know is that we did some sexual stuff then I killed a bunch of people and you didn't try to stop me. Humans are so ignorant, they never try to find out what really happened, what's really wrong. They take everything at face value and don't care if they're right or not..."
Batman smiled, turning on the rooms main light, then sitting next to Joker again.
"I'm sure not everyone thinks like that."
Joker blinked rapidly, partially blinded by the sudden light.
"Pah. Even you do."
"What? No I don't if I did do you think I'd be sitting and talking to you."
Joker shook his head, "you're not doing it coz you want to learn, you're doing it coz you were told to."
"I think I would have ended up doing it eventually, just like I would have ended up sleeping with you eventually." He nudged Joker playfully.
Joker scoffed, "yes, what a hoot..."
Batman smiled, "you don't sound to pleased, it was a joke. You should be pleased."
"I don't like jokes at my expense..."
"So you can give it but you can't take it?"
Joker tittered, "oh I can give and take Batman, baby."
Bruce nudged him again, "see, not so bad are you?"
Joker laughed again, "what about you? I always thought you were a bit of a player, especially with the ladies?"
"A player, yeah, but none of my relationships ever last very long. Normally because of the whole me being Batman thing."
"Is that why you're going out with Catwoman? Coz she knows who you are?"
"And she's one of the good guys now. I'm trying to make it work, god knows I am. But..."
Joker put his hand on Bruce's knee, "It doesn't feel how its supposed to does it?"
Batman shook his head, "I'm not sure if I can stay with her now."
"That's how it is with me and Harley, I like her, I really do. But I get so annoyed, with her, when I don't feel anything, I end up beating her and sending her away... It affects me more than you may think."
Batman slowly gripped the white hand on his knee.
"Before I was with you, I felt fine with her, not amazing, just fine. But now I hardly feel anything. And I don't know why."
Joker giggled, retracting his bound hand, "look at us... We're two losers, stuck together, bound for life by our hatred and love of each other. We're like yin and yang but weirder, and real."
"I don't hate you Joker, I just don't understand you. Or why you kill people."
Joker smiled, "I think I've pretty much already told you. I get annoyed when I don't... But I can't kill you, I feel for you. More than anyone else I can remember."
"Yeah. I know what you mean. Being with you was better than anyone else. I -"
"No." Joker said, almost shouted.
He stood up, the ropes round his hands tightened, the blanket fell from his shoulders onto the floor.
"You don't understand what I mean... It... It started off as hatred, I hated you for what you'd done, I wanted to kill people to get back at you. Then, I started to like fighting you, playing with you, it was fun, devising a plan and seeing if I could complete it before you got me, seeing how much I could hit you before you could hit me, if I would be lucky enough to knock you out, even kill you, I got a massive thrill from it. Suddenly I started to 'like like' you, and now I can't even think of killing you without getting this horrible heavy feeling in my chest."
Batman nodded.
Joker was exhaling rapidly, he seemed really distressed.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm feeling things I've never felt before. I'm not used to feeling things. But now I feel everything, and it's all because of you! I hate you, I love you, I fear you and I lust for you. It's paining me, badly, because I know that you don't feel it too."
Bruce stood up, placing his hand on Jokers shoulder.
"I haven't let myself feel it. If I let myself feel hate I may go over the edge and kill you. I don't let myself feel love because It'll hurt me when you do something morally wrong. I can't fear you because then I wouldn't be able to fight you. And I mustn't lust for you or I'll be distracted from my work."
"... So you do feel for me? You just don't want yourself to."
Batman nodded.
"What are we going to do about this Bats...?"
Bruce shook his head, "I don't know, we obviously can't hide this, it's already out for a start."
"And I don't think I'll be able to go back to how it was before, I live for your attention and the only way I've been able to get it before is by fighting you... But I don't want to fight you anymore... I want you to love me, not hate me..."
"I don't hate you. But I have a reputation to keep."
Joker giggled and rolled his eyes, "what and I don't? I can't be seen in a relationship with Batman, they'll say I've gone soft."
"I really like you Joker, you know that right?"
He felt Jokers weight shift so he was leaning towards him.
"Do you want some of my whiskey?"
Batman exhaled happily, he felt better about himself having said that.
"I might as well have a bit."
Joker handed him the bottle, there was still around a quarter left.
Bruce took a gulp of the drink, his insides squirmed as the burning liquid leaped down his throat.
He placed a hand on Jokers uncovered back, feeling the warm skin under his fingers.
Again he found himself tracing the scars on the maniacs back.
"Don't do that, Bruce... It makes me feel ugly..." Joker whispered.
Batman immediately stopped, smiling to himself.
He was kind of happy that Joker had called him by his real name.
"What should I call you? You have my real name, and Joker, no offence, doesn't sound like a real name."
Joker pressed himself slightly against Batman, savoring the physical contact.
Although he found himself annoyed that he was leaning against armor, not skin.
"I really don't know. I think if I was to have a proper mans name. I think I'd be called Jack?"
Bruce smiled, "Jack? OK, it's a little common, but it suits you."
Joker tilted his head, touching it against Bruce's.
"After all these years of being extraordinary, I think I need an ordinary name."
Batman took another mouthful of the alcohol, he could feel it working already.
He was starting to feel hotter, and feel happier.
Although he wasn't really sure if it was the drink or the fact that the Joker was so close.
"Alright then, Jack. Yeah it's a good name, very sweet."
Joker found himself looking over at Bruce, staring into the mans massive blue eyes.
He found himself overwhelmed with a sense of longing.
"Batman. Bruce Wayne, who'da thunk it, right? After all these years it turned out to be you."
Bruce nodded, "there were so many times you almost found out, I would have thought you'd have guessed from all the boys I had who just happened to be around the same age as Robin."
"Yeah... Sort of can't believe I never realised. Feel a tiny bit stupid for that. How are the Bat-brats taking this anyway?"
Bruce chuckled, "not well, I've only told them about the first time, and now Robin, Damien, isn't talking to me unless he has to, I don't know how they'd take it if I told them I actually liked you."
Joker smiled, "do you think you will tell them?"
"I'll have to eventually, if I don't and they find out, then that'll just make them hate me more."
Joker sank back to the floor and sighed.
"Oh my god... What are we doing Bruce, this is... weird.. I mean, a month and a bit ago we were at each others throats, even just yesterday you punched me in the face! Now we're talking about telling people that we're together? It's not right, its so weird..."
Bruce ran his hand hand through Jokers swept back mop of green hair, the sensation slightly dulled by his gloves.
"Are you hungry Jack? Want some chocolate cake? I saw some in the cupboard."
He nodded and flopped to the floor, "you confuse me... I confuse myself..."
Batman walked to the kitchen and grabbed a few slices of cake.
"I'm confused too, my mind's moving too fast for me to understand whats happening."
He placed a piece of cake and a plate and handed it to Joker, then sat on the blue chair with his own slice.
Joker fumbled with the plate, almost dropping it several times, finally timidly saying "Umm, Bruce, honey, could you untie my hands so I can eat? You don't have to untie my feet, just my hands?"
Bruce slid to Jokers side and began undoing the ropes.
Joker flexed his hand, reveling in the new found freedom.
He moved his hand to hold Bruce's, squeezing it slightly.
He grabbed his piece of cake and shoved it in to his mouth.
Batman smiled over at him.
"I think it's probably a smart idea to just go with the flow, with this anyway. If it doesn't work out then we've learnt something, if it does then brilliant."
He pulled off his mask, and ran his fingers through his hair.
Joker, eyes now stuck on Bruce, examining his hair, face and features.
He got so distracted he choked a little on his cake.
"Be careful Jack, I don't want you killing yourself."
Joker giggled, swallowed his cake and smiled at Bruce.
Bruce lent over and kissed Joker, "we've hardly even started yet."
Omg, I had such trouble with this chapter, I hit a writers block about 3/4 of the way through. I'll be back soon with the next bit, please review!