"Are you sure about this? They're not going to like it."
Jack reached over and took Batman's hand.
He thought it would be reassuring for him.
Batman held it for a few second, then sighed deeply and lifted off his helmet.
"Yeah. Best they find out now, I'd rather not sneak about, I don't want to lie to them."
Jack giggled to himself, "always the good guy aren't you?"
Bruce smiled as he opened the bat-mobiles door.
Jack struggled to find the handle, or button, that opened the door on his side, Bruce nipped round to the passenger side and helped Jack out.
"Oh and a gentleman too, I've hit the jackpot haven't I?"
He took Bruce by the waist as he clambered out of the car, and quickly checked his reflection in the cars wing mirror as they started to walk up the slope towards the bat-computer and the stairs to the rest of the house.
"Alfred!" Bruce called, as he started to dress out of his Batsuit and into his normal shirt and trousers.
"Alfred, I've brought company."
They heard a slight clattering of china as Alfred walked down the stair case.
"I know sir, I saw you on the cameras. I took the liberty of making you and your unnamed guest some tea."
"Thank you Alfred, this is Jack by the way. Previously known as the Joker. He'll be staying with us for a while..."
Jack gave a polite nod and took a cup of tea.
"...That is, if you don't mind."
Alfred looked over at Bruce, he seemed slightly concerned, "of course I don't mind, I trust your decisions."
Bruce took his own cup of tea, "thank you. Could you tell Damien I'm home, Nightwing too."
Alfred nodded politely and backed out, up the stairs.
"Well that was tense! I felt like if I spoke he would slap me!"
Jack drank the remainder of his tea and placed the cup back on the tray before hooking his arms round Bruce's neck.
"I wouldn't be surprised if he had poisoned my tea."
Bruce smirked, "he wouldn't do that, I think he's just a bit worried about what could happen, I think he's happy that I'm happy, but he's worried that you might end up hurting me."
Jack leaned in and kissed Bruce, "I don't think that'll happen."
The door at the top of the stairs flew open, Jack jumped away from Bruce, making an attempt to look innocent.
Damien tumbled down the stairs, followed by Dick, Damien waved at his father, seeming almost ecstatic, before he noticed the slender man wearing half of a purple suit, standing next to Bruce.
Damien looked over at Jack, after a few seconds of confusion his expression hardened, and, his eyes burning with hate, turned to Bruce.
"I cannot believe you!" Damien roared, making threatening gestures toward Bruce, "I can't believe you brought him here."
Jack ducked between his lover and the fuming teen, "hi, I'm Jack, you must be Damien, I've been told a lot about you", he held out his hand.
Damien looked at it as if it was covered in dirt.
"I'm not shaking that, I'm not falling for that trick, you bastard."
Jack turned his eyes to Bruce, looking forlorn, "lovely kid you've got here honey. I-"
"Are you two together?" Damien yelled, looking over at his father.
Bruce simply looked away.
"That's disgusting, how could you do this? I could kind of understand before, but... How could you do this...?"
Jack took a step towards Damien, arms stretched out in an attempt to shield Bruce from any more emotional attacks.
"That's enough! Don't you think he's had enough trouble with this himself? He doesn't need you having a go at him too."
Damien pursed his lips, obviously still annoyed, but he couldn't think of a fresh argument.
Jack smiled, realising he had won, he spun round to face Bruce, and reached out to take his hand.
He leaned in and kissed him.
Bruce looked over at Nightwing, who had a solemn expression frozen on his face.
"Are you ok?" Bruce enquired.
Dick grunted, "a warning about this would have been nice."
"I wanted to tell you in person. I was worried about how you would react."
"... You didn't have to bring him with you when you did..."
He walked back up the stairs, Damien shot Jack and his father a dirty look, then followed Dick.
"That was horrible..."
Jack hugged Bruce, tighter than before, trying to make him feel safe, "they'll come around, I'm sure they will. They just need to realise that I'm not the Joker anymore, I'm Jack now."
Bruce hugged him back in reply, closing his eyes and sniffing Jack's mess of green hair as he did.
"Shall I show you to your room?"
Jack giggled and looked up at Bruce, "don't you mean our room?"
Bruce smiled as he ended their embrace, "come on, it's this way."
They proceeded to walk up the stairs, across the hall and up another set of stairs.
They chatted and laughed all the way.
"Here we are. The master bedroom."
Bruce opened the door and beckoned Jack inside.
Before them stood a large, beautifully crafted four poster bed, the room was massive, wonderfully decorated.
"Wow."
Bruce smiled at Jacks almost dumbstruck response, "yeah it is nice isn't it. It used to be my parents room."
"Don't you have a room of your own?"
Bruce smiled, slightly annoyed, "I did, but then you blew it up, remember?"
Jack chuckled, "oh yeah, I'd forgotten..."
He reached over to Bruce and pulled him into yet another embrace, "I'm sorry about that... For everything I've done."
"It's ok." Bruce pulled Jack in for a kiss, which led onto a longer kiss.
Before he knew it they had fallen onto the bed, kissing frantically and violently, Jack running his hands up and down Bruce's body, he pulled up the mans top, wanting to touch his skin.
The feeling of bare skin under his fingers made Jacks head spin, one of the best feelings in the world.
But that euphoric feeling was broken as a loud banging came from the door, "Master Bruce, I'm sorry to disturb you, but it's an emergency."
Jack rolled his eyes as he sat back up, Bruce pulled his shirt back on, "yes Alfred?"
Alfred opened the door, and stood unblinking under the frame, he had guessed what was happening.
"Does that always happen?" Jack asked, his voice cracking slightly.
Bruce placed his hand on Jacks knee, "so what's happened Alfred?"
"It's Riddler, again, apparently they were in the process of locking him in his cell and he-"
"Garroted the guard and used his gun to scare his way out. Yeah I did that a few times." Jack looked over at Alfred, then turned his eyes to Bruce, who seemed surprised at Jack for saying that.
Jack took Bruce's hand as Alfred continued speaking, "exactly... He left a riddle... Written in blood. 'When is a door not a door?'"
Jack rolled his eyes, "When it's a jar, that's a terrible riddle, he's not even trying. That jam shop down the road that closed a few weeks ago, that's where he wants you to go Bruce."
"Why would he make it so easy? It must be a trap, I'll go anyway, I don't want him out longer than necessary. Have you asked Damien and Dick if they're coming?"
Alfred shook his head, "they're both adamantly staying in their rooms."
Jacks expression hardened, his smile dropped, "if you know it's a trap why go? On your own? You might get hurt."
Bruce stood up, "you know I've got to do this, don't act like that."
Jack smiled up at Bruce, "yeah, sure. Sorry."
Bruce took his hand and led him back down to the Bat-cave.
"I'll only be a few hours, you can still contact me, I'll have my ear bud in."
He started to change into his Batman suit.
Jack sighed happily, "I know you'll be alright, you've done this a million times already, I mean, you went up against me when I was really trying to kill you and survived, barely scratched. You'll be fine."
Bruce chuckled, "I know I will. Are you gunna be alright?"
Jack nodded, smiling widely, "yeah I'll be fine. I'll just sit here and wait for you to come back, can I watch T.V on this thing?"
Bruce nodded as he started to walk to the Bat-mobile.
...
He climbed out of the car, it had been an uneventful drive.
Before him was a large shop.
Batman snuck inside, being careful to stay in the shadows.
He peered down to see Riddler sitting on a red plastic chair.
Who was surrounded by several burly, heavily armed men.
There was a loud crash behind Batman.
Several large objects flew at him.
He dodged them skillfully, but misjudged his landing and collapsed in a heap next to Riddlers men.
He jumped up before any of the thugs could throw a punch at him, and threw batterangs at the largest of the men who were now running at him.
The men fell to the floor, and didn't get back up.
Bruce had forgotten about Jacks earlier meddling, many of his batterags were still electrified.
At least that would mean he wouldn't have to worry about them.
He smirked as he threw batterangs at the other men.
Who in turn fell to the floor.
These electrified batterangs really came in handy.
Now only he and Riddler were left.
"It's over, Riddler." Batman growled as he advanced on Riddler.
"So I will ask you one, simple riddle." Riddler delivered with his usual smugness.
"Is that true?"
Suddenly Batman felt a sharp, heavy blow to the center of his face.
He tumbled backwards, falling to the floor.
One of the thugs had hidden, in the shadows, then taken advantage of Batman being distracted by Riddler.
He had hit him in the face with a crowbar.
Now Batman lay unconscious on the floor.
Riddler tied him up, securing him to the red plastic chair which he had previously sat on.
He pondered, with his only remaining thug, the best way to deal with the rodent who was tied in front of him.
They had just about decided on the best way to get rid of him, when they were distracted by an odd noise.
It sounded almost like laughing.
It swiftly echoed through the room.
"What was that?" Riddler mumbled.
"Probably the wind sir."
"No, I don't think so... Check around."
The thug nodded, and moved off to search the rest of the building.
He disappeared from view.
Riddler heard a loud bang.
A gunshot?
Followed by that odd noise again.
This time he could definitely tell it was laughter.
"Who is that?" Riddler yelled.
He heard the laughter again, it was clearer this time, he recognised it.
"...Joker?"
"Yes Riddler ol' buddy ol' pal."
The Joker, in all his wonder and glory, walked in the door the henchman had just exited through.
"What are you doing here...? This is my game, you know the rules!"
Joker Lent casualty against the door frame, "so do you. And you're breaking several of them just by wearing that disgusting costume, what ever happened to 'Don't have a costume louder than your voice'?"
Riddler glared at him, "unless asked, you never interfere with another mans plan, I remember you once saying 'never rub another mans rhubarb'"
"And what do you think you're doing now?"
Riddler looked at him, a quizzical expression on his face.
"You're rubbin' my rhubarb Riddler, I'm just stopping you."
Joker advanced on Riddler, menacing as ever.
"Woah, woah, Joker, lets not go overboard here. I didn't know you were in the middle of something."
Riddler backed away, almost cowering, from Joker.
"Well I am."
Joker walked up to Batman, "hello, my poor little bat, what's the big bad man done to you. Look at your poor face..."
Joker ran his hand over the Batmans face and sighed.
"Now scamper away Riddler, like the little dog you are. Or I'll shoot you."
He made a gun shape with his hand, and pointed it at Riddler, making mock gunshot noises.
Riddler backed off.
"Fine.. little bitch..."
Joker laughed, "I admire your candour kid, I'll get you for that you know."
"Yeah yeah, that's what you always say." Riddler giggled and waved as he walked away.
"Batman?" Joker tapped the unconscious mans face.
"Batman, wake up, we've got to go."
He tapped him slightly harder, "batsy, honey, come on."
Batmans eyes flickered, and his face twitched into a slight smile.
"Yes, brilliant, there's that lovely smile." Joker sighed, relieved.
"...Jack..." Bruce whispered.
"Hush, don't waist your strength."
Joker pulled Batman's speaker and mic from Batman and near shouted into it.
"Alfred! Alfred get the bat-mobile to come to 28 esten street, it's an emergency!"
"Yes master Jack."
Joker untied Batman from the plastic chair.
He contemplated how he was going to move the man from the chair to the curb.
But Batman seemed almost determined he could do it himself.
He said that he'd gotten himself out of tighter spots than this, and he could do it himself.
But Jack still had to drag the half conscious man most of the way.
"It's ok, baby, look at me. It's ok, the car's on it's way."
Jack looked down at Bruce, his face was smashed in, covered in blood.
It was hard to hide his consern.
There was a loud roar as the Bat-mobile tore up, and screeched to a stop in front of them.
Joker lifted Batman onto his seat.
He then leaped into the drivers side of the bat-mobile.
"I always wanted to drive this." He smirked as he put the car into gear and sped off toward Wayne manor.
...
"Alfred, Bruce is hurt!"
"What happened?"
"Riddlers men jumped him."
Alfred and Dick helped Jack lift him onto the medical table.
Damien helped the butler as they cleaned Bruces face.
"He's drifting a bit, will he be ok?"
"I can fix him, it's happened before. He'll be fine. No need to look so worried, you've left him worse than this."
Jack giggled nervously, he picked up his bottle of foundation and squirted some onto his hand.
He turned away and rubbed it into his face, trying to take his mind off the injured Bruce.
Dick walked up to him, "I'm sure he'll be fine"
He turned back.
"Are you sure he's going to be ok?"
Jack scurried back to Bruces side.
Alfred had taken his mask off, to see the extent of the damage.
His face didn't look as bad now it had been cleaned.
"He'll be fine. Look, he's already starting to wake up."
Bruce opened his eye's.
He grunted in pain.
"My face. What happened...?"
Jack smiled, "you got hit in the face with a crowbar. I saved you. I did say you shouldn't have gone on your own."
Dick sat on one of the chairs by the medical table, "I'm sorry I was so selfish, I should've gone with you."
Jack suddenly felt incredibly angry, "well yes, you should have, you know how dangerous it can be out there, people get killed, he could have been killed!"
"It's alright Jack..." Bruce whispered, "I'm fine, you were there, I'm fine, I wasn't killed."
Jack looked down at Bruces dented face.
Trying to stop himself from crying, "I know, I'm sorry, I just hate to see you like this."
"You've almost killed him before, why do you care so much now?" Damien mumbled loudly.
Jack fell into tears, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realise... I didn't know... how bad it felt..."
"It's ok Jack, I'm fine, calm down. It's ok." Bruce reached out to hold Jacks hand.
"Oh god... I've done so many horrible things to you. I'm so sorry to have put you through all this."
Damien looked over, astonished that he had made a grown man cry, he had made the Joker cry.
"Thank you for saving him."
Jack, trying to stop sobbing, leaned over and kissed Bruce, then giggled, "I feel like an idiot, I can't beleive I'm crying... I never cry..."
Bruce giggled back, "it's alright, it's a good thing. Proves you've changed."
Jack smiled, "I love you."
Bruce smiled back, "I love you too."
They sat through a small uncomfortable silence, the 3 other men in the room shifted in discomfort, and hurried off to busy themselves elsewhere.
"I never thought I'd say that. Especialy not to you."
Jack let out a little laugh.
"It's brilliant though... Are you ok now, honey?"
Bruce nodded, "yeah, I'm good now. How did you get me out of that anyway? You didn't kill anyone did you?"
Jack laughed again, "no, of course not. I shot a guy and knocked him out, but I made sure I didn't kill him.
"How did you deal with Riddler?"
Jack shrugged, "I just talked to him, told him to leave and he did."
Bruce looked confused, "What? Really? You just talked to him? No fighting?"
"Yeah, might come as something of a surprise to you but I'm kind of fare-weather friends with him."
"So you're all friends?"
"Kind of. We help each other out every now and then."
Bruce chuckled, "no wonder I've not been able to put a dent in. If you're all working against me."
"No, we have a kind of set of rules, some of them about fighting you, the main one is that you don't interfear with another mans plans, I mean, you don't want to be in the middle of a plot and have someone mess it up."
"Really? How chivilrous. What other rules are there?"
"Umm, let's see... If one of us is in trouble, from forces out of his control, you must do your best to help him out."
"Is that why Penguin let you use that house?"
"Yeah, he found me injured a while back, I told him I was sleeping rough, he said he could give me a place for a while, for a small fee of course."
Jack chuckled.
"What else?"
"You must give your fellow costumed villains a present at christmas."
Bruce smiled in slight disbelief, "what? Really?"
Jack laughed, "yeah actually."
"Any others?"
"I'm not gunna say anymore! That'll take all the fun out of it."
Bruce chuckled, and pointed to his face, "yeah but it'll stop this from happening again."
Jack grasped Bruces hand, "Bruce, baby, I promice, nothing like this will ever happen to you ever again."
"Don't make promices you can't keep."
Jack gave a humbled smile.
He looked over at Damien and Dick.