TRTSS27: Elementary, My Dear Ranma! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST, Sherlock Holmes and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre one-shot.
Special Note: This story takes place in Great Britain, circa Victorian era, sometime after the formation of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Author's Note: Rather than upload another story, I decided to add a new tale to this one. Consider this a sequel of sorts.
Hello, true believers! Prepare yourself for a spine tingling tale of horror, mystery and romance, as the gentleman detective, Lord Ranshin Rantsu, and the investigative physician, Sir Dr. A. Conan Doyle, take on a new case, in-
"Sherlock Holmes and the Baffling Boob-pire"
Our tale begins one foggy, London night, as a party for the incoming Spanish Ambassador winds down for the night…
"Must you go home so soon, Sally?" said one of the girls, as she and her catering staff leave for the night. "The girls want to go down to the pub to celebrate how much tips we got this evening."
"No, Jane, I'm just going to turn in for the evening," Sally Pennyworth replied, as she wrapped her shawl around her shoulders. "I have to take care of my younger siblings' needs, since Mother has been sick lately."
"Well, okay," Jane said. "I'll see you at the next gig, I suppose."
With that, Jane leaves her friend Sally with the other girls for a night of merriment.
With a sigh, Sally head towards the other direction, thinking about how nice the party was, even though she was just a server. One of the guests in particular had fancied her…
"Oh, who am I kidding?" Sally said. "I'm just a poor London girl with no prospects for a decent man, other than a boot-black with her luck…"
As the girl turns down the alleyway, she had gotten the impression that she was being followed. She shook the feelings as just nerves, as she picked up the pace of her steps. However, upon hearing a screeching noise from above, the girl looks up…"
"What's that?" Sally said in horror, as whatever made the sound descended upon her. "Nooooooo-"
Moments later, the girl was gone, leaving only her shawl behind.
The next day…
"I'll get it!" yelled Miss Akane Tendo, the modern young woman who was presently stuck in the Victorian Age. From some reason yet to be determined, she has been sent to a previous era, where her beloved Lord Ranshin Rantsu was some eccentric London detective who was living with her rival, the lovely Lady Usashinko Rantsu. While she missed the comforts of the Modern Age of the early 21st century, Miss Tendo did like the many adventures that that her predicament has wrought.
"Miss Tendo, Good Morning," said Dr. Arthur Conan Doyle, as he tipped his hat. "May I see the Lord of the Manor?"
Miss Tendo rolls her eyes. She disliked how Lord Ranstu was receiving the respect he, in her estimation, did not deserve, even though Lord Ranstu was both a powerful Japanese Lord back home and a renowned detective. Thus, to her, Lord Rantsu was nothing more than an egotistical jerk.
Before Miss Tendo could say anything…
"Ah, doctor, come in," Lady Usashinko Rantsu said with a smile. "What brings you here?"
"I…I rather wait until I see Lord Rantsu first," Dr. Doyle said. "I hope that my…response is a reasonable."
"Of course, doctor," Lady Usashinko said, as she allows the physician to enter the private residence of the Japanese Ambassador. Although Lord and Lady Rantsu could live in the Japanese embassy, the couple prefers to live in West London, so that expenses could be lessen.
"Akane, please be a dear and fix us a spot of tea?" Lady Usashinko said, as she ushered the fam
"Husband?" Lady Rantsu said, as she knocked on the door to her husband's study. "Husband? Dr. Doyle is here."
Lady Rantsu turns towards the family friend and physician Dr. Doyle, who has been assigned to treat the Japanese Ambassador to Great Britain for the past few months now. Unfortunately, Dr. Doyle has ended up being more than just a medical practitioner of late…
"Oh, Arthur, are you sure you need to see Ranma?" Lady Rantsu asked. "You know how…he behaves whenever you are around."
"I am aware of that, Usagi," Dr. Doyle replied. "But his rather…unorthodox services are needed."
With that, Dr. Doyle enters Lord Rantsu's study, with Lady Rantsu in tow, only to be confronted by a disturbing sight.
"Good God!" Dr. Doyle said.
"Ranma!" Lady Rantsu said, as she gawked at the sight of Lord Rantsu's body swing from the chandelier. She immediately goes over to his body.
"Ranma, are you okay?"
"Of course I am," Lord Rantsu managed to say. Being hung by the neck had made it difficult for him to speak…
"I was conducting some intense meditative exercises by reenacting the World Tree Test-"
"I heard a scream," Miss Tendo said, as she ran into the study. She then sees Lord Rantsu hanging from the ceiling, and, apparently misinterpreting the scene.
"I KNEW it!" Miss Tendo yelled, as she goes over to Lady Rantsu. "I knew it that one day you'd cause Ranma's death!"
"But I didn't do anything!" Lady Rantsu replied defensively. "Well, this time…"
"Really, Miss Tendo," Lord Rantsu said, as he used standard escape tricks to untie his binds around his wrists, before grabbing his noose long enough to get himself down from the ceiling. "The fact of the matter is that since you will see me again in the future, I won't die this day."
"I REALLY wish you wouldn't call me 'Miss Tendo', you know," Miss Tendo replied. "It's not like I a stranger and all…"
"You really should have some supervision when you are conducting your eccentric experiments, Lord Rantsu," Dr. Doyle replied.
"I take it that you are here for a reason, instead of pestering me for my methods, doctor?" Lord Rantsu asked, as he pours himself a cup of water from a nearby pitcher of water.
"Er, yes," Dr. Doyle said. "As you know, I do charity work for those who cannot afford the services of a medical practitioner."
"Of course. Go on…"
"This morning, I received a call regarding an unusual case of…rabies."
"'Rabies'?" Lady Rantsu said. "Oh, dear…"
"What kind of rabies are we referring to?" Lord Rantsu asked.
"I'm…not sure. But, considering your other activities, I think it is best that you see my patients in person."
"Well, then, we should not delay this latest case any further," Lord Rantsu said. "Oh-!"
"What is it?" Miss Tendo asked, as he sees Lord Rantsu scribble something furiously on a piece of paper.
"I just realized the secret formula of the Coca-Cola brand drink," Lord Rantsu said.
"So?" Lady Rantsu replied. "We all know that Coke has medicinal cocaine in it."
"No, that is what the company wants you believe," Lord Rantsu said. "The true formula is actually based upon the chemical make-up of the ambrosia of the gods, which is said to confer immortality or even godhood to mortals. The company's founder discovered it, and began to market it, but was promptly silenced by the Order of Reason. Thus, a less chaotic and more mundane drink was introduced."
"I see," Lady Rantsu said, as she began to sweat, surprised that her husband actually figured out an operation conducted by her secretive 'Technocratic Union'. In fact, she had personally gave the order to have the inventor of the Coca-Cola brand "replaced", while a substitution of the Coca-Cola brand was put forth for public consumption
"That is nonsense," Dr. Doyle said dismissively. "We have much more important matters to consider."
"Right you are," Lord Rantsu said, as he puts on his jacket. He then turns towards Miss Tendo.
"Miss Tendo, would you like to accompany me on this case?"
"I really wish you wouldn't call me that, Ranma," Miss Tendo said. "But…I would like to see what you are like on your investigations."
"Excellent!" Lord Rantsu said, as he turns towards his wife to kiss her. "I won't be late, dear."
"I hope not," Lady Rantsu said. "We're supposed to go to a gathering of diplomats for a party at Buckingham Palace tonight."
"I will remember that, dear."
"I won't keep him out later than he needs to be, Lady," Dr. Doyle said.
"I'll hold you to your promise, doctor…"
Upon arriving at the local health clinic, Dr. Doyle shows Lord Rantsu and Miss Tendo his patients…
"As you can see, each of the patients is suffering from the same malady," Dr. Doyle said. "They all speak boldly of participating in some debauchery of their making, increased body mass—particularly around the hips, thighs and bust—and this…"
Dr. Doyle shows puncture marks near the aorta of the neck.
"I've also detected noticeable canine teeth," Dr. Doyle said.
"Why did you say that these girls were infected by 'rabies'?" Miss Tendo said in alarm. "I mean, besides the drooling, they kind of look like-"
"Because, the local health board is keeping this particular case under wraps, so as to not cause the general public any alarm for concern."
"It is a good thing that you brought this matter to me, doctor," Lord Rantsu said. "We are facing not just a 'vampire outbreak'; we are facing a…'boobpire outbreak'."
For a long time, there was silence amongst the three adventurers.
"You've GOT to be kidding me," Miss Tendo replied drolly.
Tbc.
Next Time: As "Sherlock Holmes" and "Dr. Watson" tackle the boob-pire outbreak, one of their own gets infected…and it's not Lady Rantsu! See you then...