A/N: Sorry for the wait; had some troubles writing this chapter. But after writing it and editing it I'm happy with the way it turned out. And it's super long, by my chapter length standards. So, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Pre-Wedding 12:

JJ was lounging back on her living room sofa; Will's arm lay heavily around her shoulders. They were taking a break from their hectic lives, having a 'date night,' Will's idea. And for their date night Will had gotten his mother to take Henry for the whole night, and they'd ordered Chinese food, and now were watching Will's movie of choice, Runaway Bride. Yep, Will's choice. He kept cracking jokes at the screen, jokes aimed her way, things like, 'JJ, I'm hiding your runners, so don't get any ideas.' He thought he was hilarious. And who knew, maybe she'd be laughing too, if a certain someone wasn't on her mind. All JJ felt, at the moment, was uncomfortable.

They were two weeks away from June 1st. And every last detail was coming into place, all thanks to Will, Will's mom, Garcia and Emily. JJ had to admit, very little of the actual planning had anything to do with her. And JJ wondered at the fact that no one seemed to notice, or if they did, no one was inclined to say, 'Hey Bride, this is your wedding, so get cracking."

JJ let out a sigh as she watched Julia Robert's character share her first kiss with Richard Gere's character. She squirmed in her seat as she realized how close to her life the movie really was. All the movie kept making her think of was the other man in her life, Aaron Hotchner. The man she was trying to put out of her mind for the past two weeks.

It had been three weeks since the day Hotch had decided he couldn't see her anymore, well, at least, not until she'd figured things out. So, for the first week without Hotch all she'd done was just that, tried to figure things out.

She went about her job thinking, 'Will or Hotch, Will or Hotch?' She picked Henry up from daycare and she'd think, 'Will is Henry's father…' And then she'd be in the kitchen making a cup of coffee and she'd be suddenly struck with the memory of the kiss she'd shared with Hotch right there and then she'd be craving him something fierce.

All the first week had accomplished was nothing but reminding her that she had problems.

So after that first week of getting no where, JJ decided this situation was completely ridiculous. She told herself she'd made her decisions, she'd had a child with that decision, and she'd agreed to marry that decision. That was it. No Hotch. So, the next two weeks were spent trying to forget that Aaron Hotchner even existed. Easier said then done, right? Right.

The first two days after her decision to quit Hotch cold turkey, her lovely son reminded her that things were never going to be easy. Henry needed his weekly Jack fix. She couldn't deny her son his best friend. So what did she do? She called Jessica to fix something up and she, not Hotch, brought Jack over.

Even with that hurdle over come, somewhere in the back of her head there was a little voice chanting, "Hotch, Hotch, Hotch…" And it had steadily gotten louder since then. Until right now, at this moment, all of her faculties suddenly screamed, "Hotch!"

God, had it really been three whole weeks since she'd seen or spoken or even touched him? Man, she really wanted to touch him.

"Why would she choose Richard Gere over Chris Meloni, I mean the guy's character is a coach!" Will was scoffing at the movie.

JJ just shrugged in answer. But on the inside she was listing the reasons, Well, he's older, but more sophisticated. More serious, but more lovable. Quiet and reserved, but he had an intensity about everything he did that made you know he was sure about everything he did and said.

God, she wasn't talking about the character, she was thinking about Hotch. How was she going to make it two more weeks without thinking about him or even seeing him?

She had to, she just had to. Once she was married, all her thoughts and feelings for Hotch would float away.

But until then… she had to at least hear his voice.

"Uh… I'm going to get a soda… you want anything?" JJ suddenly spoke up.

"No thanks, honey, want me to pause?" Will replied.

She shook her head. She was well aware of how it ended.

JJ quickly made her way to the kitchen. Instead of going to the fridge, she grabbed the kitchen extension and dialled a number really fast before she could think too much.

She waited as the phone rang and rang and she felt like her heart beat was in tune with it. And once she heard the phone click in answer her heart chose that moment to skip a beat.

"Hello?" she heard Hotch's warm voice say.

And then her heart began to race. Oh man, it was so good to hear his voice. She missed him, she missed him so much.

"Hello?" he said again.

She should say something. She'd called him, she should at least say hi or something. He had caller ID, she was sure, he'd know it was her.

"JJ?" She still remained quiet. He let out a sigh. "JJ, is that you?"

This was ridiculous, why did she not say anything?

"It's ok… I understand if you don't say anything…" she heard him pause. "I've missed you…"

Still nothing on her part.

"I… I still haven't gotten an invitation…" Hotch let that statement trail off.

She heard the hope in his voice and she suddenly hated herself. She quickly hung up the phone.

"JJ!" she heard Will call. "You're missing the best part. She's running!"

"JJ?" Hotch said into the phone. "JJ?"

He let out a frustrated sigh and hung up the phone. She was gone. For all he knew she was never there in the first place. It could have been Henry playing with the phone. But, no, he had an intense feeling that JJ had been at the other end.

So, why did she call and not speak?

There weeks had gone by since he'd spoken to her or even seen her. And it had been three weeks of hell. He still had no idea what she was thinking, but each day that went by without an invitation in his mailbox was a day he counted his blessings.

"Come on Hotch," he heard Dave call from the living room. "Hurry up with those beers."

Hotch let out a sigh. He opened his fridge, and grabbed four bottles from his fridge and then made his way to the living room.

He tossed a bottle at Dave. "Last I checked Dave you know where the fridge is."

"Where are your gracious hosting skills, Hotch?" Morgan joked, taking a bottle from him.

"Flew out the window when you guys invited yourselves over," Hotch countered.

Hotch made his way over to the empty arm chair.

"Now, remind me why you guys are here?" Hotch asked, taking a swig of his beer.

"Can't three people decide to visit a friend for no reason?" Reid asked, completely serious.

And he believed him, it was the other two friends with knowing looks on their faces that he did not believe that of.

"Yeah, I guess," Hotch allowed.

"So…" Dave began.

Uh oh, Hotch thought, he knew at least his old friend was up to something.

"Who was on the phone?" he finished.

Yep, Dave was definitely fishing.

"No one," Hotch answered.

"You were on the phone for five minutes with no one?" Morgan questioned.

"Yes," Hotch answered sternly, hoping his tone would shut him up.

"Are you sure it wasn't JJ?" Dave asked.

"JJ?" Reid's ears perked up.

"I don't know who it was," Hotch replied. "They never said anything."

He gave his two friends a reproving look and then tilted his head meaningfully towards Reid. Hotch knew that Dave and Garcia definitely knew how he felt about JJ. And he'd deduced that Morgan knew as well. But he was pretty sure Reid and Emily were still in the dark. And he wanted it kept that way.

"Speaking of JJ," Reid intercepted. "Hotch, are you taking anyone to JJ's wedding?"

"Uh…" Hotch stalled, getting caught off guard.

"Are you Reid?" Morgan questioned.

Hotch shot Morgan a grateful look.

"No… no, I haven't asked anyone. I was thinking we could all go together…" Reid answered.

Morgan shrugged. "Weddings are a good place to meet new people, going single would be good for that."

"I wouldn't mind all going together," Rossi agreed. "You, Hotch?"

"Sure, whatever," Hotch said quickly. He desperately wanted to get the topic away from himself. "But I thought you'd be going with Emily?"

Rossi shot him a dry look before answering, "Well she's in the wedding, so…"

"So, you better ask her Rossi," Morgan warned. "She'll still expect it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Hotch agreed.

"You know," Reid took over. "JJ's been acting… strange lately."

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked intently.

As much as he knew he had to stay away from JJ, stay out of her life, he couldn't turn off his feelings. He would always care for her. And at the moment he was concerned.

"Well… it started that day we came back from the case in Montana," Reid clarified.

Uh oh, now what did Reid know?

"Oh," Rossi asked, amusement twinkling in the corners of his eyes.

Did the man seriously enjoy seeing him uncomfortable?

"Yeah, I actually found her in your office, Hotch," Reid informed. "She was crying."

"What?" Hotch questioned.

He'd left her sad and teary eyed, yes, but he didn't know that she'd gone back there. And he didn't know Reid had found her in tears.

"What did you do Hotch?" Morgan accused.

Hotch held his hands up in defence. "Nothing, I wasn't there, I went to the hospital."

"She said she missed us," Reid explained. "But I saw her this week and she just seemed distracted."

"Well, she's busy planning a wedding, she's got a lot on her mind," Rossi offered.

"No," Reid shook his head. His eyes were on Hotch. "I don't think it's that at all…"

Hotch tried not to shift uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't know what to say. He knew exactly why his former liaison was in distress. It was all his fault. He realized he'd' basically asked her to choose between him and Will. It was tough for her, Will was the sure thing. And he, on the other hand, was not, even though he knew he'd love her forever. He was new to her.

"What about with you Hotch, how's she been?" Reid caught him off guard again.

"Oh," Hotch said nervously. "I uh… haven't seen her since the day she helped me with this." He gestured to his arm.

"Really?" Morgan exclaimed incredulously.

Hotch nodded.

Rossi let out a low whistle. "Wow."

"What?" Hotch asked defensively.

"Hotch… it's just… you two have been like the best of friends lately," Reid said observantly. "Did something happen?"

"No," Hotch said adamantly. "She's just been very busy."

Reid gave him a look as if not buying it. But unlike his other two so called friends, Reid let it go. And the silence that followed was palpable.

"Pizza?" Hotch burst out. "I'm going to order some pizza."

He quickly got up to go to the kitchen with shouts of toppings following behind him.

Hotch just wanted to be alone. He needed time to think. But he could see his team was not going anytime soon. So he'd shut them up by stuffing pizza in their mouths.

He was shuffling through the flyers in the take out drawer, looking for a good place, when he heard movement from behind him.

"So," Rossi started, leaning against the counter. "What happened?"

Hotch let out a sigh. "Nothing… ok, not nothing. But I told her I was backing off… this is me backing off."

Rossi nodded. "I see… and how's that going?"

Hotch ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Fine, it's been fine."

"Yeah?"

"No," Hotch spit out. "It hasn't been fine. I haven't seen her, talked to her, anything in three weeks. That's twenty-one days!"

"I'm well aware of how many days that is, Hotch," Rossi said, straight up amused. "And you still feel the same?"

"Yes," Hotch answered, sounding desperate. "What the hell am I going to do? She's going to marry him… what am I going to do then?"

Rossi shook his head. "This is tough. It's going to get tougher. But you care about her right?" Hotch nodded. "Well then do you care about her enough to just be friends? Because that's what it may come down to."

Hotch admitted to himself that he would hate seeing JJ married to Will. Hate it, vehemently. But could he function without her in his life at all? No he didn't think so.

"I hate this," Hotch said out loud.

"I know," Rossi said, coming to give him a pat on the shoulder. "I know."

JJ was making dinner the next night, rare for her because she was usually the last to get home. But it was Saturday night. She'd had the entire day off. And she'd spent it finalizing some last few details for the wedding. One of which was a fitting for the new dress she'd picked out. The other dress was still tucked away at her office. She had no idea what she was going to do with it.

Henry was spending the day with Garcia. She was no doubt spoiling him immensely. She'd bring him back in a bit and Will had spent the day at Jason's finishing up his basement renovations. He'd be home soon and he'd be hungry.

Sure enough, she heard the front door open and close and she heard Will call out, "JJ?"

"Kitchen," she called back.

A few seconds later, he came bustling into the kitchen. Before JJ noticed anything, she smiled at him and started, "Hey, glad you're home, I'm making your—"

She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence because he'd suddenly pulled her into a hug.

"Will?" JJ questioned concernedly.

He continued to hold onto her tight, not saying a word and worrying the hell out of her.

"Will," she tried again. "What's wrong? Is it… is it Henry?"

Her heart literally skipped a couple of beats. What could have him so on edge?

"No, no," Will said quickly, pulling away. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean…"

He looked jittery and fidgety… and he was definitely worrying her. "Will, please, are you ok? Did something happen?"

Will looked at her suddenly and then turned away. He began to pace the kitchen and he ran both hands through his short hair. He came to an abrupt halt in front of her and took both her hands in his.

"JJ… JJ, I love you," Will said, almost frantically. "You know that right, you know that I love you?"

She stared into his eyes, uncertainty was written there, and she had to wonder had he found out about Hotch?

"Of course I know, Will," she tried to reassure. "I love you too. Will—"

He cut her off by pulling her back to his chest. "I love you so much. I love you. I would never, ever, do anything to hurt you, never…"

"I know that," she said uncomfortably. "Will please, tell me, did something happen?"

His hand came up to stroke her hair. "I just… I can't lose you ok… I don't know what I'd do if I lost you… I need you JJ. You and Henry. I need you both in my life."

Oh God, what had she done? Will loved her completely; she couldn't hurt him like this. She just couldn't.

She pulled back, cupping either side of his face. "Hey," she said soothingly. "Hey… you're not going to lose me or Henry, ok? We're not going anywhere."

He crushed her back to him. "Thank you JJ, thank you."

She definitely had no idea what had spurned this outburst but it was clear to her that Will needed her desperately. How could she possibly think of anyone but Will? He was her family. She couldn't hurt him. She just couldn't.

Hotch had just put Jack to bed after a long day. The entire day had been spent together, just the two of them. It had been nice, but exhausting on the both of them. The doorbell suddenly rang and Hotch got up off the couch to quickly answer it before whoever it was ended up waking up Jack.

He pulled open the door and got a very pleasant surprise.

"JJ? Hi," he greeted; he couldn't help it, his face broke out into a huge smile.

It had been too long since he'd seen her last; and seeing her in his dreams every night, just wasn't the same. Seeing her in the flesh just lit him up inside, warmed him.

Wow, his heart was just bursting. Maybe that saying 'Absence makes the heart go fonder,' was true. Because, he felt more for her now than he had three weeks ago.

Hotch took a second to really look at her when silence followed his greeting. She looked beautiful, of course, but there was sadness in her eyes.

Uh oh… Hotch's face fell and he could feel the beginnings of his heart breaking.

"JJ?" he questioned.

She gave him a small, sad smile and opened her mouth to speak. Nothing came out.

Realizing that they were still standing on his front stoop, he held the door wide open. "Come inside."

She gave him a hesitant look but stepped in anyway. He shut the door behind them and led the way to the living room.

"Uh… Jack's asleep," he informed, just to make sure things stayed low key.

She nodded, taking a seat on one end of the sofa. He joined her, this time, not taking the other end, but coming to sit right next to her.

"Ho—tch, she started, voice breaking on his name. She stopped and reached out a hand to cup his face.

He let out a sigh, closing his eyes, just savouring the moment and her touch. The touch he'd been craving for three weeks. His eyes were still closed when he felt her lips touch his in a soft, butterfly of a kiss. Hotch didn't push her for more and the kiss was over a second later.

He pulled back, opening his eyes to see that she was watching him with shimmery, cornflower blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, Hotch," she murmured.

He nodded, looking away. "Me too."

"I… I wish things could be different," she admitted. "But…"

"It's ok JJ," he tried to assure her, even though on the inside his heart was breaking and he was sure nothing would ever be ok again. He held his hand out knowing she would know what he wanted.

He watched her wipe away the few tears that escaped, desperately wishing he could be the one to kiss away her tears. She reached into her purse and pulled out an ivory-colored envelope. She placed it into his waiting hand and all he wanted to do was crush it. But he refrained.

"I've… I've uh got to go," she said uncomfortably.

She stood up to go as he continued to sit there. This was so not how things were supposed to go. And he needed to know why they were going this way.

"JJ?" he called, getting up to chase after her.

She turned at the door to shoot him a wary look. He held up his hands.

"I said I'd accept whatever decision you've made," he started. "And I will, I just need to know one thing."

Still wary, she nodded for him to continue.

"What made this," he held up the envelope, "be you choice?"

She let out a sigh. "I … I can't leave Will, I just can't. He needs me too much. Henry needs me to be with his dad. They both just need me."

Hotch nodded in understanding and JJ turned to go.

"What about you, JJ?" Hotch murmured, stopping her in her tracks. "What about what you need? And when will you make what you need a priority?"

She hadn't turned around, but he saw her shoulders slump. He knew his words had hit home.

"I've got to go," JJ murmured.

And he let her go.

I know, I know it's really sad. Just bear with me, it will get better. And about Will's outburst, yeah we'll find out what that was about later. So, don't worry.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, despite it's sadness.

I've been getting awesome response for this story and I just want to thank everyone who's been following it.

Shout out to all my reviewers: spk (oh, lol, definitely not a threesome, just meant it to be a triangle between the three); Zolidify (thanks!); Hotch Fan (yeah, I didn't want to make JJ out to be a bad person, she's just confused, and Hotch realizes that, so he gave her an out); canny-bairn (oh yeah, someone's definitely going to get hurt, no easy way out in this fic); kurussom (she tried to run, didn't really work for her…); gibbsluvr (don't cry! It gets better); JJandHotch4ever96 (you weren't expecting Garcia to be like that?); and hot4booth (IC= in character?).

Thanks again!