A/N: Hello again. Well it seems I'm just depressing everyone with this story. All I can say to everyone is, hang in there. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Pre-Wedding 13:

"Here you go ladies," the bridal shop attendant said, pointing each woman to a dressing room.

JJ let out a sigh as she stepped into the large room with her new dress in it. The wedding was two days away and JJ, Emily and Garcia were trying their dresses for a final fitting. JJ's mom, Amy and Will's mom, Helen were waiting outside to see all the dresses for the first time.

Everyone was so happy and cheery and JJ hated that she didn't feel the same. She'd made her decision. Will was it for her and Henry, because he had to be. But her damned heart would not listen.

Why couldn't she just accept her fate? Why couldn't she just forget about Hotch?

Just thinking his name broke her heart. Glancing into the mirror, as she still stood there fully clothed, she saw the beginnings of tears.

No, she couldn't cry.

There were too many people around for her to just breakdown. Too many questions would be asked. But she couldn't help it. With all that had happened in the past week and a half, JJ didn't have any time to really process what choosing Will had made her give up.

And the tears started to flow freely as an image of Hotch flashed into her mind, giving her that rare smile she absolutely loved. He was strong, he was serious, he never did anything half way and she knew he would be like that in his relationships; he would be completely loving. And he loved her…

She was giving that up, she was giving up all the possibilities that a life with Hotch would bring.

Why, why was she giving that up?

"JJ?" she heard Helen call from outside. "Are you all right? Do you need a hand?"

She couldn't speak, her voice would crack and she'd give herself away. So, she remained silent.

A knock came at the door and JJ instantly felt panicked. No way was she coming out.

Why couldn't they leave her alone?

"JJ, it's me," came Garcia's gentle voice. "Can I come in?"

She let out a sigh, but cracked the door open just enough to let the red head in.

Once inside, Garcia took one look at her and her face fell in sympathy. "Aww… honey, come here…"

Garcia enfolded her into a big hug. JJ let herself be comforted as the tears turned into quiet sobs.

JJ couldn't stop, even though she knew Garcia wouldn't really approve of why the waterworks were happening. But she couldn't help it; she was going to lose Hotch. She knew she was. Even though he said he'd be ok with whatever she decided, would he really want to be around her anymore? Would they even be able to talk like they used to? Would he still tell her he missed her and he was still trying to get her back at the BAU? Probably not. Their friendship would fade and the only thing that would connect them would be their sons.

The thought of losing Hotch nearly killed her and JJ knew she would have crumbled to the floor if it weren't for Penelope holding her up.

"It's going to be all right, JJ," Garcia tried.

No, no it wasn't, she wanted to say. Nothing would ever be the same again. How was that all right?

"Aww sweetie, it will, trust me," Garcia said, guessing at her thoughts. "There's still time to change your mind… there's still time to go to him…"

That brought JJ's tears almost to an abrupt halt. She pulled away from Garcia, shaking her head emphatically. She used her hands to scrub at her face, trying to erase all evidence of her breakdown.

"No," JJ said forcefully.

Garcia gave her another sympathetic look. "JJ—"

She still shook her head. "No, Penelope, I can't," she pleaded.

"But—"

She couldn't. She just couldn't. Will needed her. Her son needed her. They came first. She'd be ok. She just needed to get through this. Just two more days and she could begin her Hotch-less life.

"Help me into the dress," JJ demanded.

Garcia was so taken aback by JJ's attitude change that she did as told. A few minutes later, JJ was in the new dress.

"JJ, wow, you look beautiful," Garcia breathed out, despite her misgivings.

The dress was a completely different style then the one she'd originally bought. This one was more of a princess style gown, fitted bodice, puffed out skirt.

"Thanks," JJ said sincerely, sorry for her tone a moment before. "Should we go out there?"

"Wait," Garcia said, abruptly. And JJ was afraid that Garcia was going to give her another lecture. Instead, Garcia reached up with both hands to wipe under JJ's eyes with the pads of her thumbs. And then she did something completely unexpected and a bit painful, she pinched both of her cheeks.

"Ow… Garcia," JJ protested.

"You look like a ghost," Garcia explained. "You don't want everyone knowing that you've been crying, do you?"

JJ shook her head.

"Good, now," Garcia said, and then yelled out, "Ok everyone, she's coming out!"

Garcia slipped out first leaving JJ a moment to gain some more composure. She took a deep breath. She could do this, she was a member of the Pentagon's Department of Defence, after all; she'd been a member of the… Ok, don't go there JJ…

But she could do this. She put on a small smile, not too big or show-y, she knew that would instantly look face. And then she was stepping out of the room.

What followed was a round of ooh-ing and ah-ing; but as JJ took a closer look at their faces she knew that her little private outburst had an effect on them. They all looked concerned, even though they were trying to hide it with smiles. JJ glanced at her mom, who had just flown in from Pennsylvania to see her looking unsure. And then JJ chanced a look at Helen, the woman who'd been nothing but accommodating these past two months.

"JJ, you will make a beautiful bride…" Helen commented sincerely, but the statement didn't have a real end, as if she was trying to imply something.

JJ gave her a thorough look wondering what the woman was trying to say. Helen just stared back and JJ saw something in her eyes akin to understanding. This made JJ wonder: maybe somebody had noticed her indifferent attitude.

Hotch pulled on the tux suit jacket and glanced at himself in the dressing room mirror. He and the other male members of the team were picking up their suits for the big event on Saturday.

He would keep his word to JJ, he would be there for her at her wedding to another man, as much as it was going to break his heart to hear her say 'I do,' he would be there. Despite everything… despite the incredulous looks both Dave and Derek kept shooting him, he would be there.

Hotch knew they thought he was crazy; every time he caught them giving him those looks he saw the question behind it, "Why are you torturing yourself?" And the only answer he had to that was he loved her.

He would do anything for her, even watch her and support her while she married another man.

He let out a sigh and stepped out of the room to get a better look in some better light. Once outside, Hotch found Dave, Morgan, and Reid already getting things checked out by the tailor.

"Man," Hotch heard Dave exclaim his way. Hotch looked through the mirror to see Dave giving him that incredulous look again. "Either you're too much of an idiot or too much of a coward to see that what's happening is not right!"

Hotch turned around to shoot Dave a wary look. "Dave—"

"If you ask me, I think you're an idiot," Dave continued his tirade. "What do you think Derek?"

"I think it's both, an idiot and a coward," Derek answered, all matter of fact.

"Guys—" Hotch began to protest.

"What are you guys talking about?" Reid asked suspiciously.

Dave let out a flustered breath. "I'm talking about—"

Hotch put up a warning hand. "Dave, no."

Rossi shook his head. "I'm sorry Hotch; I've been quiet all week. No more. You need some sense knocked into you."

Derek was nodding. "What are you doing Hotch?" Derek implored.

Hotch was at a loss for words. They wouldn't understand. How could they? Neither of them had ever fallen so completely in love with someone that they'd do anything for them. Anything.

"Is this about JJ?" Reid surprised them.

"No!" Hotch said adamantly.

"Yes!" both Derek and Rossi exclaimed.

Hotch narrowed his eyes at his two friends in warning, but it seemed neither were having any of his intimidation tactics.

"Hotch, you love her, you've got to fight for her," Rossi implored.

"That's weird, I seem to remember you saying something about me not getting involved," Hotch countered.

"That was when I thought you just had a crush on her," Rossi brushed it away. "You love her!"

"Well she doesn't feel exactly the same," Hotch replied sullenly.

"Are you kidding me?" Morgan said angrily. "JJ is so in love with you, you've turned her life upside down!"

"Exactly," Hotch shot back. "I made her confused. I gave her cause to doubt. I needed to back off."

"Uh… Hotch," Reid piped up. "It's believed, psychologically speaking, that you can't give a person an idea unless somewhere in their minds they've already thought about it. If JJ has doubts it's not just because of you."

Hotch just gaped at the younger man. Leave it to Reid to give out facts in a situation like this.

"Listen to him Hotch…" Dave told him. "JJ wouldn't have let any of this happen if she was one hundred percent sure about Will."

"Just because she's having doubts, doesn't mean that she loves me," Hotch denied.

"Trust me," Reid, again, spoke up. "She loves you."

They all turned to stare at Reid, wondering when he'd figured any of this out.

"What?" Reid said defensively. "I'm not completely socially inept. I see things; I can read between the lines…" They still looked to him for elaboration. "When she asked me, that day in Hotch's office when I found her crying, if she was a bad person… I figured something was up."

All three of them shook their heads in wonder.

"Still," Hotch continued. "JJ made her decision. She's marrying Will. That's what she wants, so that's what I want."

"So, you're just going to go to the wedding and watch the woman you love marry another man, torturing yourself in the process?" Derek inquired incredulously.

"No, I'm gong to the wedding to support my friend on this happy day in her life," Hotch corrected.

Rossi let out an incredulous snort. "I'm sorry Hotch, I was wrong," he paused. "You're not an idiot or a coward… you're a fool."

Finally.

He was home, alone. Hotch shut the door behind him, bolting the locks. He did not want to see or speak to anyone for the next two days.

After he'd been called a fool, he'd paid for the suit and gotten the heck out of there. He kind of understood what they were saying… but they were way out of line. Dave was definitely out of line. So he hadn't stuck around to hear anymore, for fear of what he might say or do.

Even though his friends were trying to make him feel better, trying to get him what he wanted, they were actually making things worse.

After JJ had given him the invitation, he'd resigned himself to his fate. First with Hailey, then the disaster with Foyet, and now the JJ issue, Hotch knew that he wasn't meant to get everything he wanted. He reconciled himself to knowing that he had a healthy, happy little boy, his friends and team were all well, and JJ was doing what she wanted. That had to be enough for him. That would be enough for him.

Hotch was startled when a knock came at the door from behind him. He turned around, thinking, "Just go away." He really, really didn't want to open that door. He didn't have the energy to speak with a salesman, much less anyone he knew. But the FBI agent in him would not allow him the peace. He let out a sigh and then looked into the peep hole.

Garcia? What the hell?

He was tempted to ignore her, but she just looked so forlorn. Definitely not Garcia like. He opened the door.

"Hotch?" Garcia said nervously. "I need to talk to you."

He held open the door for her thinking this would be about a case or something related to work.

Hotch shut the door behind her and led the way to the living room. "Uh… have a seat Penelope…"

He sat down and she followed suit, only to spring out of her seat a second later.

"Hotch this is all wrong!"

She started to pace the room. And his exhausted mind finally figured out that this was definitely not about a case. "Garcia," he warned.

"I'm sorry Hotch," she didn't take the hint. "But you've got to go over there and you've got to tell JJ that you love her and that you want to be with her."

"Garcia, I've already told her that," he told her, feeling way too exhausted to be having this conversation.

Garcia stared at him aghast. "What? And she's still going through with the wedding? Why would she do that?"

"Maybe because she loves Will," he answered a little more tersely then intended.

"No, no," Garcia denied. "You should have seen her at her dress fitting. She was bawling her eyes out. It's like she's preparing for her execution not wedding!"

"Garcia," he said, heart hurting even more. "I tried. She made her choice."

"Hotch," she practically shouted. "She made the wrong choice!"

He let out a sigh. He ran a hand over his face. He was a little tired of all his well-meaning friends. "Garcia, it was hers entirely to make."

"Still," she hesitated. "I'm afraid…"

"You're afraid of?" Hotch prompted, curious to her sudden stalling.

"I'm afraid I influenced her decision," Garcia confessed.

He gave her a wry smile. "Garcia I seriously doubt—"

"No, I did, Hotch," she cut him off. "That day I saw you two… you know… JJ came to talk to me too and I was mean to her."

"You, mean to JJ?" Hotch scoffed. "You two are best friends."

"I did… I did. I was mean, but I was only trying to look out for you."

"For me?" Hotch said surprised.

"Yeah," she said sheepishly. "You've been through so much and I thought this whole thing would hurt you again… which I see it did… but I think it's all my fault."

"How—"

"I told her to back off until she was sure what she wanted," Garcia confessed.

"Penelope," he tried to say soothingly. "I pretty much told her the same thing. She chose Will. That's what she wants."

Garcia gave him a dissatisfied look. "No, she's wrong. And you're wrong. And… I can see I'm not getting through to you…"

Hotch shook his head. "I appreciate your concern."

She nodded and made her way to the door. She pulled it open, but paused in the doorway. "You two seriously need some help in the decision-making department… you need a psychic or something."

And then she was gone.

It seemed he just wasn't making anyone happy these days…

Well that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed. Please let me know what you think.

Thanks to everyone who's reviewing: gibbsluvr (hmm… don't know… :) ); Zolidify (thanks, that chapter had some hard scenes to write, glad you enjoyed them); hot4booth (you've made some great points, which I agree with. Glad you enjoyed those lines!); schokokaffee (I love soap operas, and crime shows… that's all I'm saying :) ); spk (thanks!); CMFAN2009 (yeah that card needed to be burned…); kurussom (yeah it's sad now, it will get better, promise); Hotch Fan (thanks for the long comment, love long comments. Will's not a bad guy, that's the only hint I'll give… :) ); JJandHotch4ever96 (don't worry it's still jotch).

I'll be updating soon.