Author's Notes: I'm so sorry for the lack of updates on this story. It's been three months since I last posted, but I never intended to not continue with it. I'm a little frazzled getting back into the swing of things, so this chapter will be a bit short, but it will give you a sense as to what may happened next. I was originally going to write only four chapters, but I think I may add an extra one. As always, feedback is appreciated. Enjoy, guys!

Chapter Three

Dear Diary:

It's been almost a month since I last saw him, and internally, the thought is starting to gnaw at my skin and bones. The agony, the pain, the desire, continues to grow beyond my reach, and I'm not sure if I could damper the need for him. I'm not sure if I even want to. Almost every day I feel like an addict who's desperate for her next fix, and a part of me hates it. I'm slowly losing a sense of myself, and I don't know how to bring it back. It's as if my blood was injected with a dose of uncontrollable vampire lust.

He never stops visiting my dreams, not even once. Almost every night he's there, waiting for me with open arms; with a look of joy plainly written in his handsome face. The more I dream about him, the more my body wants his next to mine; bare under the sheets, keeping me safe from the dangers of the night that I constantly face. The dangers that are increasing dramatically as each day and week pass by.

Sunnydale is slowly becoming a war zone. The body count is piling up. Coffins buried in cemeteries are discovered without the corpses. More vampires are suddenly appearing out of nowhere. We still don't know why, but I have a good idea as to who might be behind it, even though a part of me wants to deny it. Even in my own house I no longer feel that sense of security, and a part of me is scared because I'm a constant target. I may be the Slayer, but I'm not emotionally invincible.

I even had to force my mother to stay in Los Angeles. It was better if she wasn't in harm's way or become a distraction. I couldn't allow it. I wouldn't.

I know they're coming for me. I know it's only a matter of time before more hell breaks loose. As for the masquerade ball, its location has yet to be found. He's keeping it in secret apparently, even during his frequent night time visits. But we're still looking. I'm not giving up yet.

The other part of me also wonders as to what side is he really on: Good or evil? He's not like the Vampire Kings I had faced before.

He's definitely different, and it makes me wonder if I should trust him, or trust solely in that he's meant to be my sworn enemy and nothing else.

But still, is he using me? Is he trying to lure me to my death? Is he trying to break me to his will? What the hell is he really doing? I just can't seemed to figure him out. In my dreams, when we kiss, I swear to myself that I want to die. He takes my breath away as soon as his lips touch mine, and my soul. To confess, it becomes terrifying, as the kisses tend to grow in passion and intensity. His kisses are nothing that I had ever experienced in my real life. The scariest thing is, when we kiss, I know they're for real.

It's not something that I could imagine even if I tried.

And I think he knows that those kisses are for real. Sometimes, I can see it in his eyes. How he makes it so is something that I cannot explain. The only thing I can tell you is that every time I wake up from those kisses, I feel the taste lingering in my mouth. And when I do, I know instantly that he was there with me. In the place where no demons or other vampires can enter. The only place I can feel remotely safe.

My mind.

As I'm writing this, I could hear one of the local vampires trying to break into my home, startling me. I glance over at the black trunk that's sitting across from my closet door. Being the defender against the forces of evil, I'm always prepared.

And if somehow, Angelus was behind all of this…I wouldn't know what to do. Would I want to save him? Or would I have to kill him? The question doesn't leave an answer. I knew that there wouldn't be one. Not for a long time.

As I near the last line of the journal entry, I could see a single drop of tear splashing on the very parchment that I was writing on.

I saw that the tear landed right next to his name.