Chapter 6: The Secret That Could Tear Us Apart!

Amu POV

I looked out my window to see Nagihiko walking along my street in a thin maroon short sleeve hooded shirt, some dark jeans, and some matching maroon hightops. According to the clock on my phone it was now 9:59 a.m. How did I know he would be right on time? Intuition I guess. I twirled around a few times in front of the full length mirror downstairs to give my outfit one last inspection before I left. I was wearing a light gray off the shoulder long sleeved shirt with a small v-cut at the collar bone where two thick strings hung that tied together in a bow with jean shorts. I had paired this with some light gray knee high socks and my black Converse. Good enough. I had found it pretty difficult to choose an outfit today and had settled on this. I was snapping my red X hair clip onto the front section of my hair I had gathered and pulled back when I heard the door bell ring. The noise resuscitated the forgotten dormant butterflies that had been present in my stomach all morning. Deep breath Amu. You can do this.

"H-hey Nagihiko, I will be ready in one sec, I just have to tell my parents I'm leaving." I told him when I answered the door.

"No problem." he stated.

I shut the door softly and then ran to the bottom of the stairs to shout at my parents who were upstairs somewhere. I really didn't want to go up there and tell them in person that I was leaving. After I had asked them for permission to go earlier this morning my dad had overreacted like I knew he would. If I was going to try to calm myself down before facing Nagihiko again watching Papa freak out definitely wouldn't help.

I shouted up the stairs to let them know and heard Mama's distant voice telling me to have fun and give her a call a little later. I heard the beginning of something Papa was saying, but I ran out of hearing range before it could make me more anxious. I was back at the door and I had to take another deep breath. Stupid butterflies.

"I'm ready now, let's go." I assured him as we both now stood on my doorstep. I felt my face getting a bit hot when I made eye contact with him and I begged that it wasn't noticeable. I looked down at my shoes. I had a question I was dying to ask him and it was my attempt to hide my reddish face from his perceptive honey eyes.

"H-hey Nagihiko? I-is this… Uh, nevermind, forget I said anything." This was a lot harder than I would have imagined. I couldn't bring myself to spit it out. It was just one little question after all. All I could manage to do was move my feet around and stare at my fidgeting hands whose fingers twined and untwined with restlessness. It was amazing how easily anxiety had smothered my previously burning curiosity.

"You can ask me anything Amu-chan." He said with a little chuckle. He had moved his hands behind his back and leaned over in an attempt to get a better look at my face. Oh no, he had tilted his head a bit and he could see my eyes now. I was beginning to regret pulling my bangs back because now I couldn't hide behind them. I lifted my head up and he straightened up after I decided it was no use to try to hide. I was too nervous to meet his gaze, so I just looked to the side. Here goes nothing.

"W-well, I was going to ask you, umm… Is th-this…a date?" It felt like lava was rising up to my cheeks rather than just blood. He just laughed at me and it made me feel like ridiculous, like I was crying over spilled milk or something.

"That's why you're so nervous?" He was still giggling and I was becoming a little irritated. So it was pretty noticeable then. "Amu-chan, it's only a date if you want it to be. So quit worrying so much or you'll get wrinkles." He winked at me and I playfully stuck out my tongue at him. I actually didn't mind his teasing at the moment, it really calmed me down.

Nagihiko POV

She seemed s little calmer now. That was good. We really didn't need two stressed out people after all. I could tell she was a little distracted thinking about something, so it was time to snap her out of it.

"We can just stand here all day Amu-chan, we have places to go!" And with that I took her hand and looked back to catch a glimpse of the usual adorably shocked expression. I counted to three quickly in my head as we began a slow jog towards our destination.

"Nagihiko!" she complained. I was getting better at judging her reaction. It had come exactly when I had finished counting this time. How unfortunate.

A date, huh? I wish it could be.

Amu POV

"You're still holding my hand again." I noted. He paused and we both stopped walking while he observed our hands.

"Yeah, you're right… Well we don't have time to waste standing around, we're almost there." He informed me. I rolled my eyes and we continued walking hand in hand. I said no more about it after that. Nagihiko the Earth was unstoppable. I smiled as I entertained the strange epithet I had created in my mind.

I thought about what he had said, about us being almost there. We were walking down a street lined with little shops and eateries I had never heard of. I had never even seen this part of the city actually; it was quaint and comforting here.

"Here we are." We were stopped in front of a gallery of photographs. The gallery didn't look that big, but I was able to see some stairs to another floor through the sturdy glass walls that made up the establishment. It looked very mod and fascinating.

"This is so cool! I didn't even know this was here!" I said with delight. He released my hand and opened one of the double glass doors in front of me.

"After you." he smiled and waved for me to go in. He always acted like such a gentleman and it certainly didn't fit with his attire today. It made me want to giggle, but I held it in so I wouldn't have to explain myself and offend him.

"Thanks." I said politely and walked in.

All of the photographs were amazing. I had come to realize that the ones on the lower floor were all in black and white and the ones on the floor above were in color. Color or no color they were all stunning. The pictures ranged from recognizable monuments to just your average slice of life moment in time. I think my favorite ones were the black and white pictures that captured an ordinary scene. They just seemed to evoke the most feeling from me, probably because I could relate to them. I felt as if I knew exactly what the photographer was thinking at the time he took the picture. Having no color also made the photo more enigmatic, like a story with no background. It didn't give you everything it could have, which leaves the viewer wanting more and ultimately using their imagination to create a story of their own.

It was these reasons that I had almost forgotten that Nagihiko was with me. His face, like mine, was solemn. I could never look at a piece of art without a somber feeling that always contorted my face into a serious expression. We must be similar in that way.

We didn't say a word to each other when we were in the gallery, at least not until it was time to go.

"Ready, Amu-chan?" he asked me quietly as he came to stand beside me and observe the photo I was currently marveling. It was a grayscale photograph of a young couple sitting next to each other on a park bench. Since you were observing the couple from behind the bench you could only see above their shoulders and parts of them that showed between the gaps in the polished wood planks that had been arranged into the bench's shape. There was a small distance between that appeared to separate the two, but when I had studied it more closely I saw the interlocked hands resting in the center of the distance that made them a single entity. It was a beautiful picture and I guessed it to be taken sometime in the early spring due to all the cherry blossoms in full bloom.

In my mind I gave the trees their soft light pink color and the grass beneath a mossy green. The bench had a black metal frame and the wood was a tan color with unsymmetrical scattered spots of dark brown. Their clothes were various spring colors. The girl's shoulder length hair was a candy colored hot pink. It blended well with the cherry blossoms in the background. The boy's previously short hair grew to an astoundingly long length for a boy and became the color of dark purple orchids. I blushed and came to. Nagihiko was still waiting for my reply.

"Oh, yeah, I'm ready." I said morosely. It was such a dazzling picture that I hated to have to leave it.

We both decided we were ready for lunch and apparently he had already picked a place for us to go. We had a relaxing lunch at a café where some musicians and singers performed their own renditions of some popular mellow jazz songs. I wasn't an avid jazz fan, but it fit well with the atmosphere and gave a new life to this style of music I had never thought to listen to. After lunch we just walked along the shops and occasionally walked into one to browse. He tried to insist on getting me whatever I had looked at for an extended period of time, but I sternly told him I wouldn't allow it so neither of us bought anything. I had called my mom to check in during this time and tried to keep the conversation as short as possible saying I would tell her about it later.

It was starting to get a little darker now that it was 6 o'clock so we stopped our browsing and had a light meal at a diner. We had both saved a little room for some frozen yogurt after dinner. I was all about chocolate with gummy bears and he preferred original with fruit. We joked that we were like yin and yang. One couldn't exist without the other. That's what our friendship was like, a very strong bond of two people that had their differences, but were held together by their much stronger similarities. We balanced each other.

Nagihiko POV

I led her to a park nearby her house and we had a seat together on a bench so we could finish whatever was left of our quickly diminishing frozen yogurts.

"Here, I'll throw yours away for you." I told her and held out my hand for her cup.

"Thanks Nagi. Woah, sorry, I meant Nagihiko. That was weird." she laughed. She handed me her cup with a cute apologetic smile on her face. She really wasn't going to make this any easier.

"You're welcome. And I don't mind being called Nagi." I replied robotically. I turned for the trashcan and slowed my pace as much as I could get away with. My face fell. There's no backing out now Nagi.

Nagi. She had never called me that before. Others had given me that nickname before, but hearing it from her gave it a different meaning. I would have smiled, but I couldn't do it. I had too much on my mind. I was heading back from the trashcan and I slowed down even more, except this time it seemed involuntary. It was as if all the thought buzzing in my head were weighing me down in the form of heavy stones in my pockets and a ball and chain attached to my ankles. I didn't even want to go back to the bench, I to sluggishly crawl away, but I was done with keeping secrets from her.

"Are you okay? You seem a little…different or something." she inquired. I could see her looking at me but I just continued to think about my approach to the whole Nadeshiko subject. I had been sitting and with a sigh, I lifted myself up and stared at the last sliver of the hazy sun that was visible between some remote buildings until it disappeared.

"Did you want to go home now?" She started to get up from the bench. She looked worried. I wish I could have made her smile one more time before I broke the news to her so I could commit it to memory, but I wasn't in the mood for humor.

"Just stay seated." I demanded indifferently. I kept ignoring her questions and avoiding her eyes.

"Okay…" she replied and sat back down slowly. She sounded concerned; she probably thought I was having an episode or something.

"I have something to tell you, or rather, something I've needed to tell you for a while now. Hold out your hand please." I told her. She held out it out and I rummaged through my pocket and dropped a small object into her hand.

Amu POV

I picked up the object between the thumb and forefingers of my empty hand. I had originally thought it was a small red satin square, but it had unfolded. It was a hair ribbon. It had little pink flowers on the ends. I had seen this somewhere and after a few seconds of thinking it had clicked.

"Th-this is Nadeshiko's! Why are you giving me this? I don't understand..." I said. At first I was shocked, but now I was just confused. I began to make assumptions. He had a grave look on his face that made me think that something had happened. My breath was coming quickly now. A thousand possibilities were running through my head and I was frightened. "Is she okay? Nothing happened to her, right?"

There was no answer.

"Well?" I questioned eagerly. The only thing I could hear was the sound of some scattered faraway voices. The fact that none of them belong to him was maddening. I was standing up now and grasping the ribbon so tightly that my hand was shaking.

"I'm not who you think I am. I've been lying to you Amu-chan." He stated. He turned to face me now and he looked really upset. His eyes looked grieved like he was on the brink of tears, but no tears came.

"What? But what does that have to do with Nadeshiko?" I wondered. He wasn't making any sense.

"In my family there is a tradition that the boys are to be raised as girls when they are young so they can learn dancing. It has been carried on through generations and I was no exception. Nadeshiko doesn't exist. I took on that name so I could dance and she is really me in disguise. My real name is Nagihiko and I don't have a twin, there is only me. I have stayed true to who I am deep down, but I had no choice but to alter my appearance. I went to Europe to study different styles of dancing, but while I was there I felt like I was out of place and that something was missing. I realized this is where I really belonged, so I came back to explore life as a boy without having to keep up appearances. I'm sorry I deceived you and caused you so much heartache when I left. I hated having to lie to you for all this time, but I thought you wouldn't accept me and I just wanted to get to know you. I'm so very sorry for everything. I hope that you'll forgive me and we can remain friends, but if you don't want to be friends with someone like me I will understand." he explained and looked away from me. His had looked pained and I guessed he must have turned away in shame.

I didn't know what to say. I almost thought he was joking at first, but as he went on I could tell he was serious. I was in utter shock; I had never suspected a thing. He played his parts well.

"I can't believe you lied to me. For two years." I finally said. He didn't say anything. "I thought we were friends, how could you keep something like this from me?" There was a small wordless pause and I was the one to break it.

"But more than that I can't believe you think I wouldn't accept you. Do you really think I would be that shallow?" That wasn't me. I would have understood. Family tradition or not I wouldn't care.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." he mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.

I looked down at the red ribbon in my shaky numb hand and my eyes started to water.

"You didn't even bother to tell me in person when you left. Do you know how much I missed you? Do you know how much I cried over you?" I was shouting at him now. Obviously he didn't know, but I was just so angry. I was sad and betrayed and upset and confused. My tears were coming fast now and it was hard to see. I was crying over him once again. Even though I was mad at him I still believed him about staying true to his personality. I didn't want to believe anything he had said, but I couldn't deny the sincerity in his voice when he had told me that. Why did I believe him? I should just leave; I should just stop talking to him and run. My house was close by, I could easily run there from here, but my feet wouldn't move. My heart kept giving me reasons to forgive him and defend his decision not to tell me, it was infuriating. I was perplexed. It was a choice between forgiveness and keeping a grudge.

Would this be the end of our friendship? My reluctance to forgive him would end up tearing us apart? I…

I didn't want that. I didn't want to stop talking or laughing or blushing or going to galleries or browsing in stores or eating frozen yogurt with him. I didn't want to be apart from him, not again. I wanted him to always be nearby so I could spend time with him. I would let him hold my hand, I would let him buy me something from the stores we browsed through, and I would let him tease me as long as he didn't leave.

I would forgive him. I would understand why he had to keep a secret from me.

"I can see that you can't forgive me for everything I put you through. That's reasonable. I'll just be going then, I'm sure you don't want me around me anymore." He said sadly. He started to turn away from me and he had taken a few steps when I had caught his sleeve.

"So you're just leaving me again? Don't go. Please don't go!" I exclaimed. I brought my hands to my face and tried to scrub the tears from my eyes. I whimpered softly like a child that had been separated from their mother.

"Amu-chan?" Shock was evident on his face when he turned around in reaction to my grabbing his sleeve. I ran into his arms and held him tightly in a hug.

"I forgive you. I don't care that you lied to me; I understand why you did it. It must have been so much harder on you and all I did was yell at you. I'm not mad anymore, I'm just glad that you told me. I just want to stay friends Nagi. I don't want you to leave me again." I told him. The sound of my voice was muffled by his shirt when I had pressed my face into his chest, but he still heard me.

"I promise I won't leave you. Now I'm making you cry again, I'm sorry. Again. And I'm really happy you said so because I didn't want to lose you either Amu-chan." He said. He wrapped his arms around me securely. After I had stopped crying like a child and calmed down, he took my hand and we started walking towards my house. I gladly invited the warm feeling from his hand this time. It reminded me of the photograph I had seen at the gallery in that I imagined us being one entity walking down the street together.

Today I had gained a new perspective on the amethyst haired boy whom I called Nagi and to my surprise; it was in more ways than one.

Wow, my brain hurts. Now that was a long chapter. Sorry if it got a little angsty, that's just how it came out. Those were also some pretty intense mood swings. I hope it was a good read anyways, I really didn't know what else to write, and I was stumped quite a few times on this chapter. I could possibly continue this and maybe go further into the relationship stuff I suppose. I really don't know what I will do at this point. :P Tata for now.