Chapter 1

I finished my Thai food and carefully set the plate down on the coffee table with a gentle clink, before allowing my body to collapse backwards next to him on the couch. The exhaustion of the last few days catching up with me as I allow the silly movie to flood my mind choosing to shut down rather than think about anything for the moment.

He soon finishes his second helping of rice and with a last swig of his beer stacks his plate on top of mine and carried them both into the kitchen. I can hear the soft taps and clinks as he loads the dish washer, before coming back into the room flopping onto the couch with a satisfied sigh. Swinging one arm up onto the couch behind me and his rainbow clad feet onto the table in front of us as he settled into watch the movie.

He chuckles when the movies' protagonist does something very silly that I don't really understand, but then again I'm certain that I haven't understood most of the movie up to now. It's literally coming in but I'm not processing it, my mind seems to have gone blank. I turn at the sound he makes though and take in his appearance. He changed after we got back to his place into a pair of his favorite jeans and his Texas Hold 'em Strip Poker shirt. It's taut around his arms and perfectly fitted to his upper body as he reclines against the couch. His face has the shadowy appearance of stubble, just enough that it would cause just a little pull if you ran your hand over it, and the beginnings of exhaustion is creeping in around his eyes.

Despite his laughter, I can see the pain the last case brought him. There's just a hint of regret in the reflection of his chocolate eyes, and a pull of tension in his forehead. He knows he did the right thing and yet he seems to be having an internal war of rational versus what he wishes had happened earlier. I want to tell him that it doesn't matter now, Broadsky is lock up with a large bandage over the bullet hole Booth put in him. He'll live to go to jail for the crimes he committed because even if he only ever killed the bad guys it was still wrong. For Booth the sniper doesn't get to decide whether to pull the trigger just when. By taking that power into his own hands Broadsky violated something that Booth has relied on to keep himself safe from his own demons for years, and now they're creeping up to haunt him.

I find myself desperate to smooth away the tension in his forehead, remove the pain and regret in his eyes. Wishing that I knew what I was supposed to do at this point because we've reached an impasse and what really needs to happen now has the potential to cause much more pain than anything that happened today. The pain could be temporary, but now it has to be what he wants. I can't stand on the edge anymore and I have to take control of what happens next and hopefully what follows is what I want but if not then I'll move forward. I'll move on. I'll move if that's what it takes because I've been partially content to stand aside and give him the room necessary to get where he needs to be mentally, but know I have to stand up and fight for myself too.

The world moves so fast, this is our last chance.

The credits roll on the film and he hits the mute button allowing them to continue without us, as he turns to face me in the now quiet of his living room. He looks quietly at me and I can feel him trying to suss out what is going through my head without asking. He's unsuccessful though and eventually resorts to lifting one of his eyebrows in that questioning manner he has when he wants to know but asking seems like intruding to him. And yet and can't say anything. I feel like I'm paralyzed waiting to for the thunderclap.

It's not long before he finally breaks and asks, "Bones what's going through that pretty head of yours?"

I don't even know where to begin this certainly isn't what he's thinking. He doesn't want to do this right know but I can't wait any longer and so I sit up off the couch adjusting my body on the couch so that I can face him and can give this to him as calmly and honestly as I can muster. "Booth, I love being your partner." The words fall softly in to the silence and I can see that he's relieved.

He grins and reaches out and smacks my knee gently, "Right back atcha Bones I love being your partner too." The look on my face must have told him that I wasn't done because his shoulders drooped, "What is it?" He asked looking worried again.

I tilt my head to the side trying to figure out how I'm suppose to phrase what comes next, and it feels impossible even though I've rehearsed what I want to say hundreds of times in the mirror. It's all gone and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now. The silence feels elastic, the longer it gets the more I'm afraid it's going to snap back and hurt me. So I take and deep breath and just begin. "Our whole partnership. Our whole freindship, relationship. It's a tale from television, from a book..."

"Bones where are you going with this?" He interrupts.

But I don't let him sidetrack me I've gotten going and now I just have to get it all out. "The two people that don't get along well at first. In fact they hate each other but before you know it their best friends working together relying on each other… falling in love with each other but doing nothing about it."

I stare into his eyes well aware that he's figured out where this is headed and I can feel him retreating a little bit from me. "And then something breaks, something goes wrong and they're broken."

"It wasn't my fault Bones." He pleads.

He's afraid I blame him for everything, and so I do the only thing I know how to in this moment. I reach out grabbing one of his hands with my own, and give it a gentle squeeze. "I know it's not, it doesn't matter. Just let me finish." He nods and leaves his hand where it is. "Slowly they get back to where they need to be. Where they're suppose to be. It's a beautiful story and everyone loves to watch it over and over again because human life is a story of relationships and trying to connect with someone despite all the obstacles that get in the way. But at some point the story has to move forward, it has to move on to what they're supposed to be otherwise the story loses its sparkle and the relationship is over no matter how much they fight for it." I finish hoping that he understands what I'm saying to him.

He's quiet for a moment as he just looks at me, carefully going over his options before he pulls his hand back. "What you're saying it that we've reached that stalling point?" I nod my head trying not to push him any more than absolutely necessary. "So Bones what are we suppose to be?" He asks

I wish that there was just a hint of laughter or a smile, but he's taking this as seriously as he can. Which I suppose is a good thing, but it's just that much more difficult to look at him and offer him exactly what he offered me two years ago and what I've already offered once. "For us to be more than just friends and partners… To be in a relationship that is more than all of that combined."

I think he stopped breathing in an attempt to comprehend what I'm asking, he's gone so still. And so we sit there for a few moments, before he almost groans, "Bones…" and I feel like I'm breaking his heart all over again.

I fight off my own tears and just smile gently hoping to reassure him. "I don't need an answer right now Booth…" I stand off the couch trying to focus on each little move holding the tears at bay. "But I need one within the next few days because it's time for our relationship to spark or fizzle and die and if it's the later one I need to just get on with it."

"Bones…" He quietly says my name again but doesn't follow it with anything.

I bend down placing a hand on his cheek, press a kiss to his forehead, before walking out of the room leaving him on the couch as I gather my things, and let myself out of the apartment. I stop just before allowing the door to close and say just loud enough that it'll be heard in the other room, "This is our last chance, Booth." With that I fled refusing to pause on the way to the car. The whole ride home, it felt like my brain was disconnected from my body as I tried to dissect the entire night for some indication of what was about to happen and as coming up completely blank. I had no idea what choice he was going to make as I pulled into my parking spot.