Let Me In-Chapter Fourteen
Isabella is so torn…rip apart by the pain that she knows she is causing Edward if she follows her instincts to run. She sees his face etched in pain as his hands hangs limply…a submissive gesture to show her that he is willing to do whatever she wants for her to remain.
She needs this man-boy…even though it is too much of a burden for a human to endure…to be bound to a loathed creature like her.
She instantly shifts her weight and uses the snow to clean her face. She can see Edward's eyes widen as her features returns to their normal human façade.
"Edward?"
Tanya's voice carries through the wind to reach them both.
It pierces Isabella and reminds her of all her human deficiencies. As selfish as it is, she needs Edward for more than his blood. He will suffer if she leaves and she will disintegrate. She can only imagine the carnage of human bodies that will lie in her wake as she tries to quench her thirst for him. She will rather suffer by watching him live his life with Tanya than to be alone, always on the fringes of his life without his knowledge.
Instead she opts to be at the periphery of his life with his knowledge. Once she can fully explain who she is and what she is, she will try to plead for him to always allow her to remain in his life. Even if she has to be his secret, she wants to be near him, with him…yet as her gaze shifts to Tanya who is stumbling through the snow towards them, she wonders if she has enough self-control to stop herself from killing Tanya.
Isabella's eyes are trained on Tanya's arms as they wound their way around Edward's waist, effectively trapping him in a human cage. She leans into him with pleading eyes but he merely pats her back and keeps his eyes trained on Isabella. No one says anything for a long minute.
Isabella doesn't even blink; her mask settles on her face as she focuses on those frail human arms. Oh how easy it would be to rip Tanya's arms off Edward, how she could end this annoying mortal's existence. But she must not. Edward obviously cares for Tanya and she had not faulted Isabella.
With a tired sigh, she walks away from Tanya and Edward. She hears Tanya's voice as she pleads with Edward to open up to her. She wants to know what he sees in Bella, why they are close and what they were discussing before she interrupted. Isabella shuts them out as she enters the house again. She can hear that the family has stopped talking as they hear her entry. Esme leaves the kitchen to find Isabella and she gives her a small smile.
"Do you mind if I just hang out in the room by myself for a while? I just want some time to think."
"Of course Dear, take all the time you need. If you're hungry or if you need anything, you just let me know ok?" Esme's smile is genuine but sad. She wants to hug Isabella, maybe even shed some tears with her, but she can see that she needs to grieve alone.
Her steps are quiet; her head is vibrating with thoughts. She is mechanical as she showers and dresses for bed. Her body needs no sleep, yet an exhaustion that cannot be quenched encompasses her form as she sits with her legs crossed in the middle of the bed.
She shuts her eyes and mourns for Charlie. She flicks through her impressive memory, reminiscing about her surrogate father; his loyalty to her is terrifyingly enduring. She can finally see his sacrifices. She can see the crinkle around his eyes, they way his hair began to transform from its dark locks into silver-grey strands and she can even smell him. His scent was always comforting to her…like returning home after a long journey. Now she will never again be with her human. He ran out of time and now she can never tell him how much he saved her from herself. How selfish she was to take him into her world and how she feels like she is repeating the mistake with Edward. She wishes Charlie could explain why she feels so connected to Edward.
Her thoughts are now consumed with Edward. The way he runs his hands through his hair, that he not only smiles with his lips but his eyes, and how he looks at her when he thinks no one is looking. She also dwells on his attachment to his human girlfriend and how she can fulfill all his human needs.
Isabella sits in this pose, her thoughts bouncing from Charlie to Edward. She looks in Carlisle's direction when he comes and checks on her, but she does not see him. She looks through him. The same thing occurs when Esme and Emmett enter her room. Alice and Carlie are the only ones who seem to understand. They do not try to engage her in conversation but they simply sit near her and silently hug her. She hears when Esme and Carlisle talk to her about the funeral arrangements and how they think she should attend school instead of home-schooling. She simply nods and remains in her stagnant state. She has not seen Edward the entire time and she knows that he is staying away for a good reason. Alice explained that he was trying to figure out what was happening between them.
Isabella wakes from her stagnant state on the day of Charlie's funeral. She takes in a breath for the first time and the aroma of the Cullens burn through her throat. She dresses in the ensemble that Alice has left her; she notices that all her clothing have been moved into the home and she can vaguely recollect when Alice, Jasper and Emmett walked into the room to organize her belongings. She stands in the middle of her room in the Cullen home seeing beyond the full-length mirror in front of her. She feels Carlie's small hands encompass hers and they descend the stairs together.
It is almost comical that a creature of her fierceness is being led to a black town car by a child after she had systematically shut down. There are a long line of black town cars in front of the Cullen home and she can sense the wary looks that each family member gives her as she enters the car. They are worried by her lack of eating or doing anything for that matter. They are afraid for her…she seems absent from life, refusing to participate.
Carlie enters the car first and Isabella obediently follows the small child; she nearly whimpers as his scent fills the entire car. Edward hastily enters and grabs her hand pulling her closer to him as the driver takes off. She leans her head on his shoulder as his hugs her closer to him. Carlie is silently watching the two of them yet she does not comment, she simply continues to hold Bella's hand.
The cemetery is desolate and beautiful. Thick snow burdens the ground and hides it from the sky while black figures in the white snow stand around a grave whishing Charlie Swan farewell. It is over too soon and everyone returns to the Cullen home to celebrate Charlie, a man they barely knew.
There are guests throughout the entire Cullen home, marring their delicious odor. They are curious about the beautiful new orphan that will be attending Forks High. They are also very delighted to know that the Swans are rich beyond their wildest dreams, thus they keep introducing their sons to the grieving Isabella as she stands listening to their meaningless banter. She has a glass of water in her hand but has not taken a sip from it. It is the Newtons turn to introduce their nephew to Isabella, regaling her of his merits from his private school in Alaska.
She can smell Edward as he approaches her.
"Can I borrow Isabella for a minute? She will be right back."
Edward doesn't wait for a response, instead he grabs her waist and steers her through the mob of people who invited themselves. They don't even know Charlie or Isabella, yet they descend like vultures. He was looking at her from across the room while Tanya prattled about something but when the Newtons dug their claws into her, he had to save her.
Even as they walk upstairs, he can feel Tanya's eyes on his back.
He pulls Bella into Emmett's room and then into the attached bathroom. She sets the water down and closes her eyes; her inhalation is deep and a slow smile spreads across her face. He is fascinated…like watching a swan awaken, ruffling its feathers and stretching out. He was heartbroken and confused while she boarded herself in her room and hid from the world. Alice had convinced him to give her space to mourn Charlie before taking anything further with her…but he couldn't take it anymore…he was tired of staying away.
Isabella inhaled him as he stood across the bathroom from her, "why are we in Emmett's bathroom?"
"Because no one will think of looking for us here"
Her chuckle thrills him, "Bella…I want you."
Isabella cocks her head at the human in front of her.
"You don't know what you're saying Edward…you don't even know me."
His hands automatically run through his hair and she follows the action almost reverently with her eyes. This room is too small as his scent saturates everything...she wants to taste him again.
"I may not know everything about you and it doesn't make sense but I've been thinking about us for the past couple of days, I want you…I need you...I want to know you, the real you…you don't know how much I want this…I can't explain it."
Edward is pacing now; he seems overexcited and wants to explain himself. His feet carry him before Isabella, his eyes are lit with hope and expectation, "I know this isn't the right time and I'm willing to wait for as long as you need, but I…"
His lips crash into hers.
Isabella is caught off guard and a growl of pleasure reverberates through her as she returns his kiss. He taste so good…his moans are low and pleading for her to understand his infatuation as he grips her waist pulling them closer. He releases her lips and kisses along her jaw line, down her neck...her head rolls back and her eyes shut, savoring the moment. She can feel the change occurring. She knows her eyes are red and her skin is ashen and she can hear his heart beating, pulsing, calling to her…
It is instinctive as she hoists herself onto the counter and grabs his hair…she pulls his head back, removing his lips from her neck and exposing his veins. They are pulsating with the same eagerness that she feels. Her teeth sinks into his supple flesh as he moans with ecstasy, he pulls her closer to him until he is directly between her legs. She wraps her legs tighter and sinks her teeth in deeper…she can feel his blood enter her, reviving her.
She doesn't hear the footsteps in Emmett's room, she doesn't hear the bathroom door open…she continues to drink until a gasp alerts them that they are no longer alone …
Annotation: Any guesses who catches them?