Too Many Interruptions
Chapter 11: Deidara
So far, Kiba had kept his word. After a week of careful observation, Sasuke was sure nobody else had become privy to his secret relationship with Naruto. Unfortunately, though, they still had not done…what they wanted to do. You know the drill—much winking and nudging. Every time they got a chance, something or someone would interrupt. Of course, this time was no different. They would not be able to even spend time together for the next few weeks because Itachi had come to stay at Sasuke's house.
When Naruto entered Sasuke's home that day—without invitation, as usual—he was greeted by a loud argument, and an unidentified object flying towards him. He dodged it and stood still, waiting until they were done. It didn't bother him at all; these brothers had been arguing pretty much non-stop since Itachi arrived.
"You tried to kill me, Sasuke! Of course I'm cautious!" Itachi said, trying to be reasonable.
"You killed my family!" Sasuke shouted, outraged.
"Yeah, but I had my reasons!"
"Well, I had my reasons to try and kill you!"
"Hence my fear of this meal you cooked for me!" Itachi explained.
"I was trying to be nice! Something you would never understand!" Sasuke responded.
"All I asked was if it was poisoned!" Itachi shouted exasperatedly.
"And I told you it wasn't!"
"Irrelevant!" Itachi declared.
"Fact!" Sasuke argued angrily.
"Argh, Sasuke! You drive me mad!"
"Yeah, I love you, too, Itachi!"
Naruto, deeming it safe, strolled calmly into Sasuke's house and watched as Itachi left via the back door and Sasuke walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto greeted, as cool as cucumber. Or a refrigerator in Antarctica. He had no problem with interrupting arguments about murder, oddly enough. Besides, it was common knowledge that Itachi had killed all those people, but since it was a special case, he was let off with a warning. There was nothing anybody could do about it.
"Hello," Sasuke said, albeit with an angry look on his face.
"So… How are things going with Itachi?" Naruto asked with a smirk, braving Sasuke's wrath. He looked out the window at Itachi in the backyard having a conversation over his cell phone. It looked serious, judging by the way he was throwing his arms up in frustration.
"Who knows? After everything he's done, I don't know what he's after, coming back here," Sasuke said.
"What? No!" Itachi's shout got both Naruto and Sasuke's attention. They waited for a moment for something more from Itachi but it seemed his little outburst was over.
"What do you think is happening?" Naruto asked Sasuke, continuing to stare out the window, bored enough to wonder what Itachi was doing.
Before Sasuke could answer, Itachi shut his phone and put it in his pocket, half-running back into the house.
"I'm going out, Sasuke," Itachi said briefly, grabbing his keys and hurrying towards the front door, forgetting about his earlier argument with Sasuke.
"Huh? Why? Where?" Sasuke asked, surprised at Itachi's panic. Itachi looked at him, distress written all over his face.
"The Akatsuki have gotten suspicious about that report Deidara never finished for that TV company so they're gonna dig up his body! I have to do it first!" Itachi babbled, not caring if Sasuke understood or not.
He then left, taking his car and driving violently away, as fast as a leopard chasing a mouse—the last mouse in the field and the leopard's only hope for survival. Hopefully, there were no old ladies crossing the streets nearby, or they could be eaten by the leopard. Or run over by the car, in this particular scenario.
Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other in bemusement.
"Well, that was weird," Naruto proclaimed, unperturbed by Itachi's hysteria. He stretched his arms out, then put his hands behind his head and wondered what he should eat for lunch.
"Hang on a second…" Sasuke was frowning, as if trying to remember something. "Deidara… Wasn't he the one who—?" His eyes widened in surprise, and he exclaimed, "Ah! Naruto, we have to go now!"
"What's up?" Naruto asked, alarmed—because it didn't matter how much Itachi was panicking, but the second it affected Sasuke, Naruto cared.
"Never mind—let's go!" Sasuke said quickly.
The couple ran outside and jumped into Sasuke's car, driving just as fast as Itachi had, and also in the same direction. The chase had begun, and Naruto didn't have the slightest clue what was going on.
"Deidara walked in on us that one time," Sasuke explained helpfully, driving out of the city and towards the forest.
"Oh… okay…?" Naruto didn't find that sentence very helpful; they'd been walked in on too many times to count.
"The blonde one with the ponytail," Sasuke described.
"Oh! I remember that." Naruto paused. "It was fun," he added, a mischievous grin growing on his face.
"Yes, it was." Sasuke smiled briefly, remembering. Then he shook his head. "But that's not the point."
"Then what is this oh-so-important point?" Naruto asked mockingly, sure that this would be something small that'd just blow over.
"He took a picture," Sasuke said.
Naruto was silent for a moment.
"What?" he asked once he'd gotten over the initial shock. Was it too much to hope that Deidara could've already showed someone else the photos and revealed the truth about him and Sasuke?
"He has this camera permanently attached to his eye."
"Why?" Naruto was perplexed and subsequently distracted by this piece of information.
"I have no idea! I always thought he was a bit of a weirdo so I stayed away. Oh, no, hang on… The camera might have been because he was a reporter. Working for some TV group, while at the same time being an agent of the Akatsuki," said Sasuke.
"Understandable." Naruto nodded. "But wait—did I miss something or did Itachi say the Akatsuki were gonna dig up Deidra-hoo-haa's body?"
"Yeah, he died. Otherwise, I might have killed him myself, to stop him telling people about us. And it's Deidara—not 'Deidra-hoo-haa.'"
"How do you know so much about this guy?"
"He was my brother's boyfriend," Sasuke explained, as if it was obvious.
"So being gay runs in the family?" Naruto teased.
"Shut up."
"Fine. So why are we rushing to the scene? I assume that's where we're going," Naruto said, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand.
"We're going there because Itachi is." It seemed to Naruto that Sasuke was not going to explain properly unless the right questions were asked.
"So why is Itachi going there?"
"To dig up Deidara's body. Sheesh, you're stupid, Naruto." A small smile was tugging on the corners of Sasuke's lips, teasing. Naruto internally admitted that he had perhaps deserved that—but it didn't stop him from continuing his questions.
"So why is Itachi digging up Deidara's body?" Naruto asked firmly, sure that Sasuke would have to answer this time.
"To get the camera out of him." The answer was short and simple, but it implied much more.
"The camera has the picture of us in it, doesn't it?" Naruto asked slowly, already knowing where this was going.
"Yes," Sasuke said regretfully.
"And the Akatsuki would see that picture if they dug him up and took the camera?" Naruto had no doubt that if that happened, the cruel and malevolent Akatsuki would put those pictures everywhere they could.
"Yes," Sasuke said, thinking a similar thing to Naruto and silently damning this small town with its unusually high fascination for gossip.
"But Itachi is going to get there first and get the camera?" Naruto was worried.
"Yes."
"So, either way, we're found out," Naruto said with mixed feelings. He was half happy that what he wanted was going to happen; but half upset, too, because it wasn't going to be fun for Sasuke.
"Pretty much," Sasuke sighed, resigned to their fate.
Then they drove past Itachi's car, which had its bonnet open with Itachi fiddling with the things in there and swearing loudly.
"I can't be out of gas!" they heard him shout in dismay.
Both Naruto and Sasuke stared as they passed him, both with blank looks on their faces.
Naruto considered the irony of this moment. As soon as his resolve had faltered, as soon as he'd begun to doubt his decision to expose their relationship to the public, suddenly it wasn't a problem anymore. They would get away with it again, and nobody would be any the wiser.
Naruto looked at Sasuke, amazed at their so-called luck and noticed Sasuke's hands tighten on the steering wheel, then feeling the car speed up. Of course, their only obstacle would run out of gas. It was just the way things like this worked.
Naruto let out a small laugh in astonishment and—to his surprise—Sasuke also laughed. Soon the car was filled with their laughter, both caught totally by surprise with the knowledge that they would make it this time as well.
After a while, Sasuke stopped the car behind a tree—so nobody would notice it. They'd reached the dark cemetery. It was incredibly eerie to walk through, the graves all lined up perfectly, but there being no sound. Sasuke and Naruto kept close to each other, almost afraid of the dead bodies they knew were under the surface. The fact that they were surrounded on all sides by a thick forest only added to the atmosphere.
Finally, they found Deidara's grave, a gap in the trees letting the sun shine through, illuminating the gravestone. Then they realised that they'd jumped into this without a plan. Or, more specifically, without a shovel.
A shovel could be useful in digging up a body, as it allowed the user to move large quantities of dirt away from the area that the person was trying to clear. Without one, they might as well be using a feather to lift a whale.
"Drat," Sasuke cursed. "No shovel."
"Hey, I found one!" Naruto announced cheerfully, much to Sasuke's surprise. The dark ninja turned to see Naruto wander away, zigzagging between the many graves, and bending over to pick up a shovel that had been lying conveniently next to a big hole in the ground.
"Whose body did they dig up?" Naruto said conversationally upon his return to Sasuke's side, gesturing to the grave stone standing at the head of the hole he had gotten the shovel from.
"Why don't you check?" Sasuke asked sarcastically, wondering why Naruto would care.
"It says Lee. Rock Lee," Naruto said, surprising Sasuke again—he hadn't expected Naruto to actually follow his advice and find out.
"Poor Lee. He got his body stolen," Naruto continued casually, as if this was something they talked about every day.
"Doesn't it creep you out that we're not the only ones who've come here to steal stuff from graves?" Sasuke asked seriously, shivering slightly. He usually wasn't one to be afraid of things one might find in a graveyard, but then again this wasn't your standard visit to the local cemetery.
"Nope," Naruto answered nonchalantly.
Sasuke shook his head and began the difficult task of digging up the corpse of his brother's boyfriend.
"Wow…" Naruto muttered, staring at the unmoving blonde figure.
"Yeah, I know," Sasuke agreed tiredly, stepping back from the now-open grave and standing next to Naruto who had done absolutely nothing to help with the digging, choosing instead to watch Sasuke and play solitaire with some cards he just so happened to have in his pocket.
"I've never seen a dead body before," Naruto told Sasuke nervously.
"I have, but… it's not really something you get used to. Not that anybody in their right mind would want to."
They both stared at the body for a while longer before they remembered what they'd come for. Sasuke caught a glimpse of metal beneath the blonde hair.
"The camera." Sasuke pointed it out to Naruto.
"How are we gonna get it?" Naruto asked. He looked at Sasuke and found that he couldn't look away.
Because of the heat he was generating by digging, Sasuke had taken off his jacket, followed by his shirt. Naruto now noticed the dirt and sweat spread across Sasuke's exposed upper half, curving around the muscles. Simply put, he looked hot. Really hot.
"I'll get it," Sasuke answered, not noticing Naruto's intense scrutiny of him. He stepped down into the hole and bent over Deidara's body, silently apologising to the dead man for what he was about to do.
He reached past the blonde hair and got a good hold on the camera hidden behind it. Then he pulled. It was easier than he'd expected, the camera popping out with minimal effort. Unfortunately, though, it was still attached to Deidara's head by a few cords.
"Hey, Naruto," Sasuke called.
"Yeah?" Naruto replied quickly.
"You need to come down here. Remember how I said the camera was permanently attached to Deidara's head?"
"Yes," Naruto answered as he descended into the grave. It wasn't as deep as it could've been; they could see over the edge of it if they stood on tiptoe.
"It is," Sasuke continued bluntly.
"…I never would've guessed," Naruto answered sarcastically after a moment.
Sasuke rolled his eyes before continuing, "So we gotta do it here."
"Do what, Sasuke?" Naruto asked flirtatiously, running a finger down Sasuke's chest.
"This is not the time, nor the place," Sasuke said in dismissal. "Now, we have to find the photo and delete it."
Standing together in Deidara's grave, Sasuke and Naruto pulled the camera out a little bit more so that they could both see the tiny screen. Sasuke had to press a few buttons on the side, but he managed to get the pictures stored on the small device to appear, one by one.
As they were going through them, Naruto tried to get some points about Deidara cleared up.
"So why is the Akatsuki wanting to get the pictures?"
"Because Deidara left them for a permanent job as the cameraman for a TV station. I'm guessing Deidara probably has some incriminating pictures of these Akatsuki people doing what they do best. Of course, they wouldn't want that to be found. Oh, and footage, too," Sasuke added as a small scene played out on the device before moving on to the next image.
"Okay, that makes sense. But why doesn't Itachi want the Akatsuki to see the photos?"
"I'm not sure," Sasuke admitted, "but I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that they were dating. Maybe—"
Sasuke didn't have to guess anymore when a picture appeared on the screen depicting Itachi in quite a compromising position, totally naked, and also showing a few limbs—and other parts—that clearly belonged to the person taking the picture. He quickly flicked over to the next photo, scarred for life from the sight of Itachi doing such things.
"Well, that answers that," Naruto stated, sounding slightly disturbed. "How did Deidara die?" That question actually stopped Sasuke for a second.
"I'm…not sure. Suicide, I think. You see, the Akatsuki aren't the nicest people in the traffic jam, so he probably wanted to escape them any way he could."
"Oh. Wait—traffic jam?" Naruto was confused.
"Traffic jams bring out the worst in people," Sasuke said solemnly, flicking his hair dramatically, his eyes gaining a faraway look, as if remembering a past event, or traffic jam.
"Okay, then." Naruto knew better than to challenge Sasuke's knowledge. A few more minutes passed in silence while each man thought his own thoughts.
"Ah-hah!" Sasuke said triumphantly when he found the photo he was looking for. It showed Naruto and Sasuke, of course. But it was what they were doing that was the reason for their sudden shocked silence. They'd forgotten exactly how visual that particular incident had been.
In the picture, Sasuke was sitting with his hands chained behind his back; legs spread wide revealing his long and hard length, whilst Naruto sat behind him. Both men were lacking in pants—as in, they were wearing none—and Naruto had his hands wrapped around Sasuke's erect cock, and his mouth tight on Sasuke's neck. The expressions on their faces were so full of lust; it left little to the imagination and was a very, very arousing image.
Sasuke found the delete button and didn't hesitate to press it. Naruto let out an "oh" of disappointment as the picture vanished, now only a memory. Which was handy since the only other person who'd seen it was dead. He returned the camera to Deidara's head, gently brushing the hair back in front of it.
"You wanted to keep the picture?" Sasuke assumed, a slight smile finding its way onto his face.
"Well, yeah," Naruto admitted. "You looked so hot like that."
Sasuke's smile dropped, and he blushed ever so slightly, feeling heat begin to pool in a lower region of his body. Of course, this just had to happen while they were standing in a grave with a dead guy.
However much he berated himself for letting his thoughts go in that direction while they were in such an inconvenient place, he just couldn't stop the surge of pleasure that engulfed him when Naruto, feeling the same way, hotly pressed his lips to Sasuke's.
"We shouldn't," Sasuke said immediately, despite being breathless from Naruto's sudden ferocious attack.
"But we will…" Naruto answered, his fingers trailing down Sasuke's body to find his pants.
"Dead guy, remember?" Sasuke muttered, silently refusing to help Naruto with the difficult zipper on his pants, choosing instead to wrap his arms around Naruto's neck and move his mouth to suck on all the skin he could reach.
This brought a desirable reaction from Naruto who fumbled with the zipper, unable to work out the trick to it. They kissed deeply, stepping closer to each other, around the body of Deidara, and left their hands to find more intimate ways of touching.
Neither of them noticed the movement that they should've seen out of the corners of their eyes.
Naruto gave up on the zipper and simply let his hands crawl under the edge of Sasuke's pants. Sasuke let out a quiet yelp of surprise to feel Naruto's hand moving in a space it shouldn't have been able to get to.
Neither noticed the sounds directly beside them, in a place there should've been no sound.
Sighing, Sasuke realised that he didn't care how Naruto's hand found its way past the pants; he just wanted it to stay there, stroking him, forever. Sasuke spread his legs a bit and moved his own hands down to open the zipper, feeling a tightness pressing against Naruto's hand and needing more room.
Finally releasing the zipper, he immediately freed his manhood. Naruto kept rubbing it and touching it, whilst kissing Sasuke as much as he could. Sasuke gripped Naruto's ass tightly, pulling him as close as he could. They were soon wrapped up in each other, moaning, almost oblivious to the outside world.
Almost.
More sounds passed nearby, but not from the same source. Not that either man knew, either way. They hadn't heard the first sound.
"…What was that noise?" Naruto asked quietly, unfocused, breathing heavily yet unceasing in his attack on Sasuke's pants. He kissed him again, his tongue entering into the fray.
Sasuke had noticed it, too, and was sure of its origin. It came again, closer this time. A kind of beeping, like a mobile phone—someone was in the graveyard.
"Don't touch, don't speak—don't even move!" Sasuke swatted Naruto's hands away and held him close, backing away quietly into a corner, suddenly alert. He realised how stupid it had been for them to be distracted in a place such as this. Especially when they'd known others would be coming after them.
Flushed and panting, but trying not to, the two men stood as quietly as they could. Brave enough to risk it, Naruto peered over the edge of the open grave to see that the approaching person was none other than Itachi.
Quietly passing this knowledge on to Sasuke, Naruto also wondered how on earth they would get out of this. He figured all they could do was wait.
Then the most unexpected thing happened.
Deidara opened his eyes.
They stared at him, and he stared right back, albeit seeming slightly out of it. Well, what do you expect from a dead guy who just woke up? Sasuke realised he wasn't exactly decent and pulled up his pants.
They heard Itachi approaching, calling out quietly, "Deidara, where are you?"
So it seemed Itachi was in on this. This faking of death, it seemed. So Deidara wasn't dead? Itachi's voice snapped Deidara out of his reverie and he stood up, wobbling a bit, unsteady, but managing it.
"What are you two doing here?" Deidara asked quietly. Whether it was because he was smart enough to keep their presence from Itachi or just because his throat was dry from being buried for weeks, Sasuke didn't know. To be sure, he put one finger to his lips in a quiet gesture.
"We needed to delete the picture of us," Sasuke whispered, knowing how much of an effect that incident had had on Deidara and not having to explain further. Deidara looked at him, still astonished, hardly believing that he was there at all.
He didn't know Sasuke well, but he recognised him. Even if they'd never met before, his resemblance to Itachi was so striking, it was obvious they were related.
"Deidara!" Itachi called out a little louder, cautiously stepping around the other graves.
Deidara grinned suddenly, staring right at the two men in his grave.
"Does he know you two are here?" he whispered.
Naruto and Sasuke shook their heads.
"Don't say anything, please," Sasuke begged quietly.
"I won't… so long as you keep this secret, too." Deidara was referring to his being alive, clearly. He certainly had his head screwed on right, despite being dead for weeks. It was the right deal to make. Sasuke nodded and stepped further into the shadows, remembering to duck his head down.
He could see why Deidara needed to keep it secret. He probably faked his death to escape the Akatsuki, and chances were Itachi was in on it. Perhaps he took some kind of drug to make him appear dead for a while?
Regardless, Naruto and Sasuke, despite having to wait until they were sure Itachi and Deidara were gone, managed to escape the graveyard with no one being any the wiser.
So they'd been interrupted again, although they could hardly blame anybody other than themselves. At least it was somebody who'd already known. They just had no luck in this particular direction of their lives.
In another part of the small city, Sakura came across Gaara while she was shopping.
"Oh, hi," she greeted cheerfully, not at all repelled by his simple grunt as an answer. She had news to share, and he would just have to listen!
"Guess what?" she asked him, hardly containing her excitement. Gaara really didn't care. He liked Sakura, sure; most people did. But he quickly tired of her continuous chatter. It was rarely interesting.
"I found out that Naruto is in love with Sasuke! And he's pushing his love onto him!" Sakura gossiped.
"Yep, he is," Gaara agreed, surprised that she knew that, yet totally uninterested. He'd already figured out as much from his strange confrontation with the men when they were at the beach.
"Confirmation!" Sakura was overjoyed by Gaara's agreement. She decided to share her story with a few more people, leaving Gaara alone as he'd wanted all along.
A/N: This is a bit late, I notice. For future reference, I advise that you expect a chapter every… two months…? Meh, genius takes time. ^_^
Screamo really is helpful when writing yaoi—I don't know why. I've been listening to "Nobody Likes A Friend Who's Dead" by Catherine. Also, not screamo, but a good song nonetheless, I've been listening to "Over" by Evans Blue.
Oh, one more thing. That "don't touch, don't speak, don't even move" thing is courtesy of my friend Chloe.
Oh, and another one more thing. Yeah…one more another thing. Anyway! The picture—you know, the one of Naruto and Sasuke that Deidara had?—the idea of it is from Maerc-Eci.
BR/N: It would be quite hypocritical of me to comment on how late this update is, but... that doesn't stop me from doing so, anyway. I mean, I've always been a bad updater, but you, Ciel In A Dress, you used to be able to write a chapter each week. Remember those days? *flashback~* Okay, flashback over. So, what happened to you?
But, I guess we should cut her some slack this time. It is her birthday today, after all. Tanjoubi omedetou~! ;)