Chapter 4:
"Where did you go?" Hakkai's voice was cool when he woke Gojyo early in the morning. Gojyo only blinked at him.
"You got dressed and went out and got cigarettes." Hakkai was picking things up.
"I didn't go out. Sanzo told me he'd shoot me."
"Oh," Hakkai shook the bottle with the cigarette butt in it.
"That's not mine." Gojyo sat up and felt his head spinning. "Sanzo put it in there so you'd get mad at me." As the words left his mouth he realized how stupid it sounded.
Hakkai just raised his eyebrows. "Are you feeling well enough to go downstairs for breakfast?"
Gojyo considered. "Can I take a shower first?"
"Certainly, I'll get Sanzo and Goku." Gojyo nodded and went to shower and change; he wondered if there would be anything new about Sanzo that he'd notice. Now that he was sure he wasn't dreaming, he wondered if there would be any sort of signal or message.
Gojyo stepped out of the bedroom, pulling on a clean shirt; Sanzo looked up, his gaze disdainful. Nope, no change. Gojyo slumped a little as he pushed Goku aside to put on his boots. The younger man just rolled his eyes and muttered insults; he didn't look fully awake yet.
Breakfast was a quiet and underwhelming event. It appeared that Hakkai had threatened Goku, because he was not all that aggressive at taking Gojyo's food or wrestling with him. Gojyo was beginning to feel a bit patronized; he was done being treated like he was fragile. For a moment he thought Hakkai was going to try and cut up his food and wipe his face for him. "I'm going to go look around," Gojyo announced as he pushed his chair back; three faces stared back at him blandly.
"The front doors," Goku announced.
"The couch in the lobby," Hakkai countered.
"The blond taking the checks," was Sanzo's contribution.
"Are you shitheads babbling in code?" Gojyo lit a cigarette.
"How far you are gonna get before you have to take a break," Goku explained.
"Get bent, all of you." Gojyo turned on his heel and strode out of the restaurant with his usual cocky stride. He winked at the blond but he didn't stop. Goku and Hakkai must have had to split the difference because Gojyo got past the couch but choked on his cigarette and ended up making his way back to the couch and collapsing on it.
He was sitting there considering his options when Hakkai walked up to him. "C'mon back up to the room, Gojyo."
"It's boring." Damn, he sounded like the monkey!
"I know, go back to the room with Goku and Sanzo and in an hour or so we will go down to the gym and you can swim a little. We'll start to build up your endurance."
"How long is this gonna take?" OK, he was definitely channeling the monkey and the look in Hakkai's eyes confirmed it.
"Hakkai, can I come with you to get the rest of the stuff?" Goku bounced up to them.
"Certainly, Goku," Hakkai glanced past the young man still bouncing expectantly. "Sanzo, hold the elevator. Gojyo needs to go back to the room."
"There're four more elevators." Sanzo leaned in the doorway as if daring Gojyo to actually walk over there and ride with him.
"I don't deserve this, Hakkai," Gojyo hissed as he got up and walked toward to elevator.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Shall we go, Goku?" And then they were gone, leaving Gojyo to get on the empty elevator with Sanzo, who used the no smoking sign to strike his match.
They rode up in silence, leaning on separate walls; Sanzo staring into the distance as if he were completely alone. On the fifth floor the monk produced the key card from his robe stash and they entered silently. Gojyo suddenly realized he didn't know what to say or think. What was the point of Sanzo's sudden sexual interest? And it was sudden. Gojyo would have known if Sanzo had been reacting to him for very long. Dropping on the couch Gojyo tried to sort through the ideas niggling in his brain.
Sanzo hadn't been interested in him until just now. When he got stabbed. When his racing around picking up chicks nearly go him killed. When Gojyo's behavior endangered not just Gojyo, but Hakkai, Goku and the mission. Gojyo rolled the idea around in his head. Sanzo was a selfish bastard, but he'd do anything for the mission; for his master's sutra. Sacrifice anything. Sacrifice himself.
The assassin would blow a hanyou to get cash; Sanzo would fuck one to keep the mission on track. Gojyo felt as if he'd been punched. It made sense. It was a twisted, sad kind of sense, but it was sense.
For Gojyo, the worst part was he had fallen for it. Fuck, he'd fallen for Sanzo. He was waiting for that fuck against the wall. And it was all just to keep him in line. Sanzo figured if he could get him sexed up he'd be easier to control. He was taking Gojyo by the cock and leading him where he wanted him to go, and fuck if Sha Gojyo wasn't just following along.
Gojyo tried to decide how he felt about that. He didn't want it. He didn't want a whore, and that's what it was about: whoring. Sanzo was trading sex for a more controllable companion. Would he do that, sacrifice his body and damned privacy and personal space to get Gojyo to stay close? And would Sanzo do it that well? Gojyo was completely conned: he hadn't doubted for a moment when Sanzo was close to him that the monk was as eager as he was. When that cool voice informed him of the plan to fuck him against the wall, Gojyo believed Sanzo wanted it; wanted him. Sanzo being the greatest fucking conning whore of all time actually made better fucking sense than Sanzo wanting to fuck Gojyo against a wall.
"You trying to think?" Sanzo sounded cool, that same voice that had listed the plan to fuck him against the wall.
"No, trying not to think."
"Good, go with your strengths." Sanzo didn't add anything when Gojyo flipped him off and slammed into his bedroom. Pissed and pissed and. . . Gojyo wasn't sure what else he was, but pissed wasn't covering it. The hanyou threw himself on his bed; he punched the pillow several times before he fell asleep, still angry.
"Gojyo?" Hakkai was sitting on the side of the bed; he looked concerned. "You were thrashing around and cursing. Were you having nightmares?"
"Not that I remember. Besides, it's daytime." Gojyo sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face. "How long did I sleep?"
"A few hours." Hakkai was watching him closely; he reached out a hand to rest the back of it on Gojyo's forehead, looking worried.
"Well, Mommy?" Gojyo reached for his cigarettes when Hakkai leaned back.
"You don't appear to have a fever. Are you alright?"
"Yeah, fine." Gojyo drew on the cigarette and thought for a second. "Could Sanzo con us? Totally fucking blow smoke up our asses?"
"Err? Why? I mean, why would he? And why would you ask that?"
"Because we've both always sort of believed that he was an uptight ass, and the only person he was conning with the 'not giving a shit about anyone' crap was himself. Only now I wonder: could he be conning us? Could he pretend totally and reel us in?"
"I don't understand. You think he really doesn't care about Goku? That he pretends to pretend to not care to make it more believable?"
"Well, not just the Goku thing. I mean anything."
"Gojyo, I'm sure I don't understand what you are getting at. If you are going to talk in circles then I can't really participate in the conversation, now can I?" Hakkai's lips thinned and Gojyo sighed.
"I don't know how else to say it." He was bullshitting Hakkai, and neither of them liked it. Hakkai rose abruptly. "Well, if you figure out how to say it, we will talk about it then. For now I think you should come down to the pool." At Gojyo's glare he smiled. "I know, but even if you don't want to swim you can walk in the water, build your endurance.
"I could walk to the bar and get a beer," Gojyo pointed out reasonably.
"After your performance in the lobby this morning, I think leaving the hotel is out of the question for two or three more days."
"Bet Sanzo-sama loves that." Gojyo stood up.
"Actually, he's been very—sanguine about it." Hakkai seemed to be considering something. He spoke after a long moment. "Come along, I have your bathing suit, and mine. As for that other thing: I don't know about conning us, but there is something going on with you and Sanzo. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it."
"And that something would be?" Gojyo felt frozen, on alert.
"I thought perhaps you would tell me."
Gojyo laughed. "Ask the princess. I don't have a fucking clue."
"I did try to speak to him. He was most—resistant to actually telling me anything."
"Imagine that. Pisses ya' off, huh?" Gojyo grinned and after a second Hakkai, the true master of the non-answer, grinned back.
Sanzo and his pet monkey played 'out of sight, out of mind', so when Gojyo was done swimming and cursing Hakkai the two ate lunch in the room, and Gojyo stripped naked and fell asleep.
Gojyo was dreaming, dreaming of Sanzo's hands in his hair and running over his chest. The monk's weight was tempting on his aching erection. Gojyo moaned and rocked up into the pressure, returning the kiss. He lifted his hands and tangled his fingers in the blond hair. Sanzo tasted so fucking good: he didn't taste like a con, a lie. He tasted like a promise and all the warmth Gojyo had never found. Dreams slid into reality and Gojyo realized Sanzo was straddling him, lips tracing down his throat.
Gojyo pushed Sanzo off and sat up, fumbling for a cigarette. He was vaguely surprised his shove had not been met with more resistance. He was more surprised when Sanzo reached around him and took one of the Hi-Lites, and then helped himself to Gojyo's lighter.
"I thought you didn't smoke my shitty cigarettes?" Gojyo was trying not to look at Sanzo.
"Mine are in the other room," was the response, as if that made sense.
"So go smoke them." Gojyo felt angry and sullen. He didn't want to deal with Sanzo, and he didn't want to deal with Sanzo's motivations.
"I thought you weren't thinking?" Sanzo's voice was in Gojyo's ear; his hips were on Gojyo's naked cock and the denim chafed.
"I was sleeping," Gojyo pointed out. He blinked up; it must have been about mid-afternoon. Sanzo had stripped off his own shirt and was braced over Gojyo, his mouth against the hanyou's ear and his hand on Gojyo's hip.
"You must have tried to do some thinking. Enough to ask Hakkai some dumb questions that had him chewing my ass for 'baiting' you while you are 'vulnerable'." The bastard proceeded to trace his lips over Gojyo's jaw line and then down his throat.
"I didn't say—you baited—I asked him—" Gojyo turned his head and didn't know himself if he wanted to avoid the mouth making such gentle forays over his skin, or if he was trying to expose more of his throat to the caresses.
"What did you ask him?" Sanzo was taunting him and Gojyo was trying to be annoyed. It was hard when those lips were warm and damp against his throat and the hand at his waist was now making patterns on his ribs.
"If he thought you could con us."
"I could, if I wanted to. Why would I waste the effort?"
"Then what the fuck is this all about?" Gojyo raised his hands to knock Sanzo away. He didn't quite do that, however: he placed his hands on Sanzo's hips and pressed, but not hard enough to actually force the slighter man off him.
"This is about you being too weak to take it if I shove you up against that wall and fuck you more stupid than you usually are." Sanzo shifted and looked down into Gojyo's face, that infuriating, sardonic grin back in place.
Gojyo blinked up at him but didn't speak, trying to process all the non-verbals, trying to determine the cues: was this what Sanzo wanted, or was this a means to an end?
"So, perhaps we will have to just settle for you on your back with your legs up, eh?"
"Maybe we won't settle for anything," Gojyo snarled, and then figured that wasn't what he really meant.
"You will just have to wait a while before we can have the full 'up against the wall' show," Sanzo told him, chiding like Hakkai would; which was creepy and wrong on many, many levels. "I won't be bitch slapped by Hakkai for not keeping you quiet enough."
Gojyo blinked at him stupidly.
Sanzo lowered his mouth slowly, teasing, until he kissed Gojyo. All intention of resisting, of denying this faked passion, went out of his mind as Gojyo returned the kiss. It was hot, desperate; Gojyo pulled Sanzo as close to him as possible. He was determined to strip away any room for pretense, for show. The hanyou refused to believe that any man could pretend well enough to fake it if he was determined to break the façade. Sanzo slid almost bonelessly against him and returned the kiss; they were both hard, panting and moaning as they strained together.
"You have damned jeans on. Hurts," Gojyo complained. Sanzo pulled back and seemed to be trying to focus. Gojyo would have, in that second, bet his life it was real: that the lust, the shaking need and the rush that had Sanzo off the bed, naked and back over him was real.
"Where are Hakkai and Goku?" Gojyo was struggling to think as they arched against one another. He had discovered that Sanzo would tremble and moan when Gojyo nipped the soft skin under his ear, and the monk had grown more compliant, allowing Gojyo to roll them so they lay side by side, legs tangled and hands and mouths roaming.
"Out until dinner, three hours at least. I put the chain on the door." Sanzo tipped his head back and Gojyo nipped his way down, over his neck and to his chest.
"Explain that if they come back."
"Fuck 'em—ah," Sanzo snarled as Gojyo explored one pale, flat nipple; the monk's hands were tight in Gojyo's hair as he arched upward.
"Maybe one of 'em, but both would be too much for me," Gojyo shot back.
"Hey," Sanzo tugged his hair until their eyes met. "Speaking of that. You fuck Hakkai?"
"What?" Gojyo had no clue if that was a 'laugh at' or 'punch out for' statement.
"Is he gonna have issues about this?" One hand dropped from the red tresses to cup Gojyo's erection. "About us?"
"I don't have a clue what he will have issues about. But I don't fuck my friends. And Hakkai is straight."
"You said you were too," Sanzo pointed out, being all reasonable.
Gojyo processed that for a moment. "You fucking Hakkai?"
"No." Sanzo met and held Gojyo's eyes for a long moment. Their mouths clashed and they tumbled into pleasure.
Sensation tried to consume him and Gojyo let it pull him under. They kissed and touched. Bodies and hands moving desperately, seeking heat and promise. Eventually, his damned brain began to fight clear of his body's desire to drown in the pleasure. Fuck, so good with Sanzo's tongue tasting his ear, and Sanzo's hand cupping him firmly. He remembered the dream and the last blurred moment between wake and sleep. Those lips making their way across his cheek now had done that in the dream. Now they continued on and took Gojyo's lips, demanding entrance, but not in the dream. In that damned dream they had paused and traced the line of old, old scars. Sanzo's mouth had stroked his cheek, his scars and his soul with the sort of tender warmth Gojyo had wanted all of his life and been afraid to find.
Gojyo desperately hoped it was a dream. If Sanzo wanted to control him with sex, that was one battle. But if the monk had planned to control him with tenderness, to pretend feeling where there was none, where there could be none, well that was something else again! As the ugly thought took hold Gojyo pulled away so violently he almost fell off the bed.
Sanzo was watching him; his eyes looked dark, calm and reflected the same desire Gojyo felt. Another lie? Was Sanzo that good a liar, that good a player? Or had Gojyo's own need to be wanted, to matter, conspired to suck him into this game?
Neither of them spoke for an eternity. "I'm not doing this," Gojyo told Sanzo finally. He only wished he sounded firm and disinterested, not irritated and short of breath.
"Then who is doing it? 'Cause I thought this was you." Sanzo's fingers were perfect as they squeezed Gojyo's cock, and the damned traitor twitched as equally-traitorous hips tried to thrust forward.
Gojyo swallowed; they were staring into one another's eyes, Gojyo angry, defensive, searching. Sanzo seemed to just be waiting. "Why?" Gojyo finally demanded. "Why now, why do you want me so damned bad?"
"I can't get the image of you out of my head. You left with those two. And you went somewhere with them. You let them fuck you and never once considered what else they might do to you." Sanzo's voice dropped and he reached up, his fingers sliding into to Gojyo's hair. "I was up all night," he whispered in a dark, threatening voice. "I pictured all the things that happen to reckless idiots who go with strangers. And you didn't come in until dawn."
He continued in that dark, hard voice; "Well, I'll get you off. I'll get you off and you'll get me off, and you won't have to stagger back bleeding."
"Once." Gojyo pulled his head away from the assault of Sanzo's kisses. He was hard, aching and needy. Sanzo was angry, but not the cold dismissive anger he usually doled out. This was hot and it seared Gojyo, making him raw with a mix of emotions he couldn't name. "I've only been attacked once. Just this once."
"How many have tried?" Those strong fingers were once again in his hair forcing Gojyo to meet the molten purple stare. "How many have been set ups? Had lovers crash in? Mugged you?"
"Me? What about you? You were in that place too. You know all about going out and getting fucked."
"No," Sanzo smiled, "I do the fucking." He kissed Gojyo again, more gently. "I wanted you that night. Once I heard you'd been there, I looked for you. They are lucky I didn't find you." The simple declaration convinced Gojyo that Sanzo meant what he said.
"What do you look for in all those bodies? All those women—and men—what do you want that you never find?" Sanzo sounded distracted.
"Don't ask stupid questions." Gojyo alternated between trying to pull away from and then pressing into those intense, seeking kisses. "I want the same thing you are looking for."
"Really? All you want is someone to suck you off, or bend over as quickly as possible so you can get back to your job?"
Gojyo blinked. "Is that what you want here? You want me to bend over so you can get off as quickly as possible?"
"Here? Now? With you?" Sanzo's voice was mocking. "Answer my question and I'll consider answering yours. What are you looking for in all those women and men?"
"Sex. All I want is sex."
"No, you want more than sex. You don't take the easiest or the most obvious. You want to talk to them. You talked to the two guys, didn't you?" He nipped at Gojyo's lower lip. "You joked and you laughed and you reveled in them?" He made 'revel' sound like an obscenity.
"I didn't revel. Yeah, I want to talk to the people I screw. You seem to have that same failing."
"No. I talk to you." Sanzo pulled back. "Gojyo. I want you. You want me. Why is this suddenly a debate? You're hard," one hand came to rest on Gojyo's chest, "your heart is pounding, you taste like lust. I can taste how much you want me." He kissed Gojyo again, a slow deep kiss that both confused the hanyou and left him moaning, thrusting against Sanzo's body, seeking relief.
"Because you don't have to fuck me; you don't have to talk to me. Don't sacrifice your holy ass to keep me in line. And don't fucking con me."
Sanzo pulled back again. For the first time since he'd climbed into the bed he was totally still. The anger-bright eyes studied Gojyo's face, searched his eyes as if there was a secret there. "Con you? It was your ass I planned to sacrifice."
"You know what I mean." Gojyo turned his head away and licked his lips. He hated his body for betraying him as it sought the pleasure of Sanzo.
"No, actually, I don't." One hand raised to caress Gojyo's scarred cheek. "I don't know what you mean." Sanzo's thumb pressed against Gojyo's lips preventing him from speaking. "Let me show you?"
"Fuck me? Legs up?" He was trying to be mocking. Sanzo's answer wasn't.
"Yes."
That simple word was somehow more relevant and more clear than anything that had passed between them before.
They kissed again, slowly, and Gojyo gave up. If this was a mind fuck, control him by his dick, whatever, he'd lost. And when Sanzo turned him, positioned him on his belly then pinned Gojyo's hands above his head, more symbolism than true restraint, Gojyo could only moan in anticipation and surrender. It was total unconditional surrender.
It was a wonderful surrender. Gojyo hadn't let those brothers fuck him, hadn't let anyone fuck him in a very long time. This was Sanzo; Sanzo taking him, filling him, demanding from him.
It hurt and Gojyo bit his lip to keep silent. "Fool." Sanzo's mouth was moist on his shoulder, making a path of tongue and teeth to the corded muscles along his neck.
"Fool," Sanzo repeated; Gojyo was panting, trying to relax.
"If you'd told me it'd been a while, we would have done this differently the first time."
'The first time'; Gojyo's brain locked on that. He expected there to be more than this time? "Yeah, whatever," Gojyo said aloud.
"How long?" Gojyo recognized the arrogant, possessive male tone of Sanzo's question. It was out of place in the scenario Gojyo had built in his head. Sanzo wanting to control him, to keep him from taking risks by fucking him made sense. The image wasn't Sanzo wanting to know that it wasn't just anyone, anytime, that got to fuck him. "How long?" Sanzo repeated harshly and nipped Gojyo's ear.
"I don't fucking know, seven or eight years!" He shifted back, and suddenly Sanzo was in contact with his prostate and Gojyo forgot to be irritated or embarrassed.
"Damn it!" Sanzo cursed, but he released Gojyo's hands and began to move. Sliding out slowly, carefully, then pausing at the very verge of separation; then back in, just as slowly. Gojyo rocked back to meet the thrusts. It was so damn slow and so slick and warm and full. Gojyo's world narrowed to the feel of Sanzo in him. As if there had been an emptiness that waited and now it was perfect, so perfect it was scary. Gojyo didn't experience this. He wasn't the one being slowly, torturously fucked while his lover whispered.
The things the profane monk whispered! "So tight, so hot. Gojyo, you feel so good around me. I'm going to fuck you until neither of us can move. I'm going to keep fucking slowly like this. You like this?" And he'd squeeze Gojyo's cock just so, teasing his fingers along it. "You like this?" He'd lick delicately at Gojyo's ear, making the hanyou shake and moan. "I like it." Sanzo's voice was dark like sin and danger, wrapped in sensual threat. Sanzo moaned against his ear and Gojyo's cock jumped; he felt the wetness of his own arousal. "I like it. You get tighter. And it flutters. God, it's like hot velvet and you grip me like you don't want to let me go."
Gojyo was usually the one talking dirty. He felt his belly tighten and heat climbed higher as Sanzo's breath and sexy words caressed him. "Please," he begged suddenly.
"OK." Sanzo's voice was soothing, an odd contrast to his sudden increase in thrusting. "OK," it was a promise. A promise of all the things from his dream.
"Don't con me," Gojyo muttered, turning to try and capture a kiss as the pace increased and his desire began to spiral. It wasn't just the intense feel of Sanzo's fingers on his cock, or the perfect way Sanzo filled him.
Sanzo didn't answer: he was moaning and his fingers tightened. Gojyo could feel the power, the tension, the need. Then Sanzo pressed forward, his hand tightened and he made a low groan that broke with the pulses deep inside Gojyo. The heat seared him, and
Genjyo Sanzo was trembling because of what he found with Sha Gojyo.
"Stubborn bastard." Sanzo's voice held that rusty laugh and Gojyo's cock twitched, wanting more. "Really," Sanzo's voice was in his ear now, still with that teasing almost-laugh that sent heat spiraling to Gojyo's belly and balls.
"So you like to be talked to as much as you talk?" Sanzo teased, his tongue resuming the soft teasing exploration of Gojyo's ear. "You have a fantastic ass, all tight and strong, and it feels so good to lean into." The tone was purely mocking but with no venom, as if he was amused, and Gojyo moaned at the thought. Sanzo, getting soft after having fucked him hard, and now amused. "I wonder how that tight ass would feel if I did something else?" Gojyo would have expected it if he'd been less aroused, less confused, less everything.
Sanzo's palm connected smartly, but with no real force, and Gojyo moaned again. The monk was stroking him now, in firm sweeps that were uneven and accompanied by pulsing fingers.
"I know." Sanzo's laughter was wicked and Gojyo would have been afraid if he didn't need to get off RIGHT NOW. "I'll kiss it better."
Gojyo threw his head back; he wanted to say 'don't you dare', but he was moaning in an odd mix of relief and agony as Sanzo slipped from his body. The monk's tongue lapped at the hand print and Gojyo tried to grab his aching cock. Sanzo rolled him over, laughing.
"Nrrggg," Gojyo protested, the best defense he could gather when Sanzo's thumb paused to rub around the head of his cock. "Bastard, do something."
"Something?" Sanzo really was laughing. "God, give me that opening next time," he suggested.
Sanzo's mouth covered his erection in one simple slide. Gojyo groaned, felt the soft hum of Sanzo's laughter and he slipped away. No lightening, no waves, no warning. There was bright hot pleasure and the sound of Sanzo's rusty laugh; then there was quiet and calm.
"Where'd you get a smoke?" Gojyo asked groggily. He seemed to have lost some time.
"Fucking tooth fairy came along and lit it."
"Umm, she leave some cash under my pillow?" Gojyo felt as if all of his muscles had been turned to water: warm, comfortable water.
"No, no cash." After stubbing out the cigarette Sanzo kissed him, lips soft and warm and oddly hesitant. Gojyo was too content to question it and slipped his fingers into the soft gold hair. He opened his mouth on Sanzo's and demanded a kiss that was slow, deep and about showing how damn amazing, and special, what just happened was.
"Sorry I was slow on the return," Gojyo muttered.
"Yeah, well, next time we'll start you out earlier so you can keep up. Give you a handicap, as it were."
"Great, I'm a special needs fuck," Gojyo laughed and his stomach did that weird hot surge when Sanzo laughed too.
"Nah, you're just on the disabled list for a few more days."
"I still don't know why," Gojyo said suddenly as they lit cigarettes.
"Yeah, you do." Sanzo looked him; really looked at him. Gojyo forced his eyes away and took an unsteady drag on his cigarette.
"No. I don't know why."
Sanzo was quiet; Gojyo could feel those purple eyes watching him, considering. Reaching over, Sanzo ground out his cigarette and straddled Gojyo. He leaned down and spoke into Gojyo's ear in that almost angry, velvet voice, "Because next time, it'll be me against the wall."