A/N1:
*Charlaine H. owns all the characters. While some of the plot lines were inspired by the romance novel author Eve M.
**Last chapter, it was all about Eric. Now let's dwell in Sookie's uhm chaotic… scratch that… I mean, slightly confused mind (read: completely mental for Eric).
She loves him (plucks a petal from a Santan flower), she loves him not… =D
*** To LamonicF: Hun, I'm sorry. I know I promised to post both chap 9 and 10 together. I'm half-way done with chapter 10 so hopefully I'll post it as soon as possible. Forgive me? =D
To give vent now and then to her feelings, whether of pleasure or discontent, is a great ease to a woman's heart. -F. Guicciardini
Semi-Charmed Kinda Life
Chapter 9: She got her own motivation
It was just mid-afternoon, when she and Amelia arrived at the premises of the Brigant One Building, where the Hooligan's Recording Studios, occupies the top two floors. She was scheduled to record one of the songs that will be included in her new album, which was programmed to be released this April.
A Sorta Fairytale was her fourth album to be released under Summerland Music Entertainment. The 13-track, country music styled, concept album revolves around the adventures of Anna, a small town waitress from Louisiana. It details the tragedy of her first love, the challenges of moving on, the promise of a better future and the meeting of a new love.
She should be excited since the song that they will be recording was one of the last tracks to be recorded. Well, she was the night before. She had been practicing the last three tracks since her return from her island vacation.
But the things that had been unfolded to her this morning had her mind reeling. It really put a dapper in her good mood. It had her worried. He's just a guy, she chastised herself. How pathetic is she to be this affected? She sighed.
'And I don't want him'
They got off her car and walk towards the building. On the front, Ben the mid-forties security guard greeted them amiably. They headed to the elevator and Amelia hit the 14th floor button.
'I don't want Eric- I don't want Eric… I don't want Eric,' she repeated this statement in her head like some mantra. She was a mess. She was worried. She needed to plan.
She really didn't want Eric. She didn't. But a petulant voice inside her, who to her consternation, sounded a bit like Preston, whispered, 'Denial'. But she isn't on denial. But isn't denying that you're on denial, constituted a denial? Huh? Right. What a stupid circular argument.
'I mean… Eric- a guest in my show…?' She shook her head in disbelief. She knew that he will be seeing him, eventually. She was bound to sing at his parent's anniversary after all. But that was still weeks from now.
'I am not ready to see him'. How badly will her meeting with Eric next week would be? She sighed. She'll be meeting Eric next week. A few days from now… not at his parent's anniversary…
She closed her eyes. She felt tired. She wanted to go home and curl on her bed in fetal position. Devouring a box of chocolate might help. A bottle of wine wouldn't be so bad too. 'Ooops… maybe not wine,' she thought hopefully.
She wanted to cancel the recording. But she couldn't just cancel just because she didn't feel like going. Her sense of discipline when it comes to work was stronger than what she was feeling. Besides the release date for her much anticipated 4th album was already set.
"Sookie…?" Amelia interrupted her dark reverie. Amelia looked at her with worry clear on her eyes. "Are you up to it?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Do you want me to call Lafayette and cancel?"
"Amelia, we are almost at the studio." She said softly. It was quite thoughtful for Amelia to suggest this but how prima-donna will she be, if they did just that? She really tried her best not to be that kind of diva. It's quite unprofessional.
"No, silly..." Amelia rolled her eyes and smiled. "I mean next week. Let's boot him out of the show. I know Laf can make a plausible excuse for canceling him out."
She didn't answer. A cowardly escape…? Tempting… but no… Who's afraid to see big bad Eric anyways?
'Me'
"There is no sense in making yourself miserable, Sook"
"No." She said. "I'll interview him. He's not the first guest on the Buzz that I did not particularly like"
"Yeah" Amelia laughed. "Remember those Neo-nazis last season?"
"They were a fun bunch" She said sarcastically. It was a memorable interview. She tried her hardest to be objective with them. But all along she wanted to pull a Geraldo and bash their heads with a chair.
Maybe she could do this with Eric. Maybe she could consider this as just another acting gig. Right, maybe… Then she remembered how she acted in Eric presence. She winced. Acting cool was beginning to look more pointless than a Mike Tyson fight as it seems.
"Sookie, you're killing me. I'm so intrigued"
She rolled her eyes. What would she tell Amelia? How much would she share? It seems like her sharp PA had a vague idea already on what has transpired between her and Eric.
"Wrong timing, huh?"
"Exactly" The elevator reached the 14th floor. Stepping away from the confines of the elevator, she smiled automatically as her gaze caught on the stylish chrome-plated metallic calligraphy signage, H-R-S.
She loved the place. She liked the ambiance of the studio, it felt comfortable. It wasn't too sterile. It isn't too posh. It also has great acoustics. But what she liked best is that the studio has excellent visibility. The isolation booths and the control room have floor to ceiling glass wall which in her opinion made the recording process very musician friendly. It isn't claustrophobic.
She opened the door and they walked into the Studio. She didn't see anyone at first. But when she glanced at the control room, she saw that the studio manager and a new technical personnel, by the looks of it, where at the control room. She waved at them. Rita Child, the manager returned her wave.
Rita was a substantial woman who, she noticed, was in her usual smart well-tailored pin-stripe business suit and her black, shiny, just-high-enough heels. Her hair was also dyed brunette. 'Wow, that will be a great conversation starter', she thought wryly.
She walked out of the control room and approached them. After the usual exchange of pleasantries, and not really to her surprise, Rita touched her hair. "Sookie I love the new look"
"Thanks Rita, I see that you dyed your hair too?" She responded pleasantly.
"Yeah I did, Claudette and I had a dare last week"
She chuckled. It's good to know that she didn't corner the market for not-so-well-thought-of -decisions. "Where's Claudette?" she asked looking around. Claudette Crane was the triplet sibling of Claude and Claudine. She used to be a Calvin Klein model. Now she oversees the recording studio. Like Claude and Claudine, she is exceptionally beautiful.
Rita's expression sobered, "She's in the hospital" She informed her. She was shaking her head. "She had an… anap… an… I forgot the term that her doctor used"
"An anaphylactic reaction?" Amelia volunteered.
"Yes, that would be it. She had this severe form allergy to the hair dye that the salon used on us"
"Oh God" She exclaimed. "How was she?" Claudine must be so worried about it. And Dette…? She fished for her iphone inside her handbag. She's going to call her as soon as possible.
"She's recovering. They had to open her throat because it swelled like you wouldn't believe it was possible" Rita said.
"She had a laryngeal edema then"
"Amelia?"
"I watch House and Grey's Anatomy…" Amelia said "Is she still in the hospital?"
Rita nodded. "She's at the hospital. She got me so fucking scared, I thought she's going to die… she almost did."
"Is she going to sue them? I mean they should have done a skin test before using the dye"
"I'm not sure if 'Dette's family will press charges."
"I'll visit her this weekend. Tomorrow even" She looked at Amelia who in turn nodded "Thanks for informing me. I didn't know. I haven't been in touch with Niall or Claudine this week"
"She'll appreciate it very much Sookie"
The new guy walked towards us. From Rita's introduction, she learned that the technical personnel, was Jeff Puckett. He seemed like an easy going guy. Unlike Rita who was donned in her formal suit, he was clad in blue jeans and dark blue polo shirt. He also had a light brown mustache and a days old whiskers in his cheeks that made him look a bit scruffy. He was largely built. She wouldn't be surprised if he informed her that he was moonlighting as a bouncer.
"Rita, I called him. He said he'll be a bit late" said Jeff.
Rita gave out a sigh. "That tardy SOB"
"Barry Varbergs?" She asked. Barry was the studio's sound engineer. He had been in the studio since its inception. If Barry wasn't good at what he does, she knew Rita or Claudette would have fired his slacker ass already.
"Another family emergency, I suppose?" Rita said skeptically. By family emergency, she meant trouble with one of his lovers. Ah… She was getting pessimistic about so many things already. Maybe it was a real emergency. Shame on her, how insensitive could she sometimes be?
Jeff nodded.
"Sookie, I'm…"
She knew the manager was about to apologize. But she really didn't mind waiting for a bit. "Don't worry hun, this is my last engagement for the day. We will just wait on the lounge" She also needed the time to get onto the proper mindset for the recording.
"Sookie, I'm really sorry for the delay."
She smiled at Rita. "Don't worry about it, hun" she said as they walked toward the lounge.
The HRS lounge was complete with satellite TV, shower facilities, kitchenette, video games, fax and video conferencing facilities and a WIFI access. There she immediately, called Claudine. She was at the hospital with Claude. She informed her that sister was recovering quite well. She also said that 'Dette was pissed about her tracheostomy. It rather impaired her ability to speak.
She didn't ask Claudine to explain what that medical jargon means. It's probably related to that hole in the neck that Rita was explaining earlier. She'll Google it later. Or maybe she'll confirm it with Amelia. She shook her head at Amelia's medical savvy, courtesy of watching popular medical drama.
She told Claudine that she'll come by and visit tomorrow. After telling her about Claude's interest with Dr. Sexy, and trading some more juicy gossips, they said their goodbyes.
'Don't think about him'
With that she tried to busy herself. But how much concentration do you need to check on your emails? And the more she told herself not to think about Eric the more he pops in her mind. What a mess.
She glanced sideways at Amelia who was busy texting. She didn't know who, but looking at the wistful smile playing on Amelia's face it must be Tray.
"Sookie, want to talk about it?"
'Not really' She shouldn't be focusing on him. She tried to calm herself. "Yeah… I hate the new color of my hair." She deflected. But her hair color was low in the scheme of things, that annoy her at the moment. It was true nonetheless. She'll most likely asked Janice to come by her house early next week.
"I won! Ha!" Amelia laughed. "I made a bet with Janice on how long will it take for you before you ask her to revert back your hair color to blonde"
"How funny" She deadpanned. "You didn't win yet. I could keep this color just to spite you"
"Right." Amelia said disbelievingly. "Lafayette invited us to dinner"
"You texted him didn't you?" She glared at her PA. "Don't even try to deny it."
"Ah… Sookie" Amelia grinned. "Fine… I did"
She shook her head.
"He misses you. He haven't seen you since your vacation. And it would be our lady's night. We haven't had one in ages"
"And you needed his help to" she air quoted "make me spill"
"Guilty. So get ready" Amelia mimicked her movement, "to spill"
"How cute" She wasn't exactly sure what to tell them. Maybe she should just say, 'I had sex'. Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't she be blasé about it.
'I Feel For You… hmnn'
She opted to concentrate on feeling the lyrics that the song wanted to convey. She reread the lyrics of the song. When Kyla, the songwriter emailed her the lyrics, she loved it instantly. Her first impression was that it was sweet… sorta' has a Taylor Swift-esque kinda air in it. It's like a retelling of a girl's feelings on her first love. It also carries a light-hearted pretty melody and arrangement.
'How do I feel about the song though?' That's where its gets a bit tricky. Generally the song made her happy. It made her remember of someone that made her happy. But right now? She thinks the song was corny and so age-inappropriate. Not exactly the mindset she was gunning for.
'Love as I first experienced it?' With Bill perhaps? Bill was her first love, after all. She tried to remember how it felt like, the attraction, the passion, the thrill of being with him, or what he made her feel. Their first meeting on the movie set… some of their notable dates… how she thought he was a perfect southern gentleman… But there's nothing, it felt drab. If anything, what she felt for him was residual resentment. And she didn't want to go there.
A vision of a tall blonde man invaded her mind. No! Fuck, she cursed. Definitely not him… Love? That's laughable.
Extreme physical attraction? Maybe… And that could be misinterpreted by hopefuls as love at first sight, right?
So if she toned down her cynicism a bit, maybe she could use her experience with Eric. That would take a lot of effort, especially now that her mind was clouded with worry for their impending meeting. But it wasn't impossible. Didn't last night, she at least come to terms with her mixed feelings with Eric?
'I want him…eek… no… I can… want him… I want him!' Wow, ain't that a direct negation of what she was repeating like a mantra, earlier? But this isn't the time for self-reflection or thoughts that she was going completly mental. The moment required that act like a professional recording artist, who wants to give her 101% on her performance.
She sighed, as she this time, voluntary started daydreaming about Eric, in a highly idealized way. She closed her eyes and slouch on the couch.
'Eric can be any woman's prince charming. Yeah he is. He's perfect. And I was drawn too him on first sight. He was drawn to me too. He liked me. He did. Our mutual attraction was like magic. Like some sort of a fairy tale. We met on an island. Our first meeting was a blast, it's like he walked straight out of my dream. And what a dream it was.'
'When we meet again…' Her breath hiked. What will happen when they meet again? Ideal… something happy… not catastrophic… romantic even… 'He'll recognize me. I know…' She choked. It couldn't possibly be… most likely, he will… fairy tale… focus… 'He'll tell me that he was looking for me.' She bit her lower lips. Yeah he will do that. Or I'll tell him I was waiting for him. 'That he dreams of me, like I dream of him. That he misses me like I missed him.'
'He'll promise that he will never let her go, now that he found me again.' Yeah, right… He will do that. A single tear fell from her eyes. She wiped it hastily, as she didn't want to alarm Amelia. Eric would want her because he was meant for her. This was just the beginning of their story. 'Our love story' It was the first time that she allowed herself to hope for a better future for them, a happily ever after for her and her prince charming. It was after all a good fairy tale.
"Sookie, you're crying…" Amelia handed her a tissue paper
"It's the song, I'm trying to get into character…"
"Sookie, I feel for you, isn't an angsty song"
"I love your politely veiled sarcasm Ames" She laughed.
"It's not sarcasm… I'm just voicing doubt subtlety… reality orientation kinda thing"
"Thanks for treating me like a mental patient" She mock glared at her PA
"No, I'm not. I'm treating you like a celebrity who every once in a while can be overwhelmed by stressful events"
"That's your euphemism nervous breakdown?"
"As your PA, one of my role is to be your support person"
She smiled, "I know and I'm thankful… don't worry I'm just really trying to condition myself for the recording"
"And a confidante too" Amelia winked at her. "Are you sure your alright? What the eff are you visualizing?"
"Pseudo- first love and all"
"Bill?"
"Tried. Unfortunately, Bill didn't fit the…"
"bill… Nice pun."
"It was the guy I met at…"
Amelia didn't let her finish her statement. Instead she supplied, "and had hot monkey sex at the island who…"
"Amelia!"
"I firmly believe beyond reasonable doubt is…"
We heard a commotion outside the lounge and then the door flew open and Barry entered, head down, flashing his palms apologetically.
"Sookie, I'm so sorry" Barry kissed her cheeks. "Family crisis… Couldn't be helped. Just give me a minute and we'll be ready to go."
"Are you okay, I think you need to catch your breath first…"
"No, I'm fine… really, I'm so sorry… are you ready? Come on let's go"
"Sure...sure… Amelia?"
"I'll stay here for a while and chat with Tray"
We walked out of the lounge room. Barry went to the control room and took his place behind the console. Rita was fuming. I headed towards the isolation booth and put on the headphones. He put on a set of headphones too. He hunched over the control board, hiding his face behind a veil of long unkempt hair. He laid his hands on the levers like they were piano keys and slid them into position up and down the console, requesting a voice check from her.
"Sound, check, check, one, two, two, one, one, sound, check, check"She repeated the words until he was satisfied.
"Okay, we're all set to go. Sookie, whenever you're ready…"
She bobbed my head.
"Excellent"
The song begun and as the sweet introductory notes of the song permeated her ears, her imagination focused on her masculine muse*… She visualized a happy reunion for her and her Eric. What a strong vision it was. It warmed her heart. She could see herself falling hopelessly in love with him. How easy it will be, if she ever let herself in that predicament… exactly as easy as falling...
At this moment, she let herself basked in the emotions that he was rousing inside her. It was cathartic. Something about it was liberating. How could it not? Imagined or not… Idealized version or whatnot… She was finally accepting that a small part of her wanted him… ached for him.
And when it was time for her to sing the first few lines of the song, she gave it her all…
Something inside, my heart
And it feels like magic, its changing my life.
Since you came to me, everything is so bright I see
You touched my heart, and gave me love… so real…
She was having some surreal feelings as the song ended. She knew she did well.
"Sookie, fuck… oops… I'm sorry… I mean…shit! " Barry exclaimed as she finished the song for the first time "that was… unfuckingbelievable!"
Rita gave her a two-thumbs up, while mouthing, 'excellent'
She gave a nervous laugh at their compliments. Admittedly, Eric was one hell of an inspiration… a very hot male-version of a muse.
During the last overdub of the song, Amelia emerged from the lounge. She was as excited as Barry when she heard me. There was mischief in Amelia's eyes that she would rather not comprehend at the moment.
It took about 1 and a half to record the song I feel for you. But we were far from finished. Barry was so enthusiastic about the recording that he requested that we re-recorded the album's carrier single, 'You made me stronger'. She agreed. She was so in the zone at the moment she could probably sing for hours on end.
Barry motioned for a 10 minute break and she walked out of the isolation booth. Amelia handed her a bottle of tepid water.
"Honey, that was amazing"
She smiled at her PA widely. She hugged Amelia. She was so happy. "I know hun… I never…"
"Whatever you did in the lounge, it was effective… I never seen you so taken by a song number"
She drank from the bottle, her hands a bit shaky from excitement.
"So we are going to re-record 'You made me stronger'?"
She nodded. "I'm worried though; won't we be late for our dinner?"
"No, we still have plenty of time. I'll call Laf." Amelia grinned.
"What's up with you?" She asked.
Amelia shrugged nonchalantly. "What? Nothing? Just happy."
She rolled her eyes. She didn't buy it. 'Ah well… she'll tell me about it, eventually.'
Barry walked towards them and asked her if she was ready. She was. The re-recording of the next song was a cake walk.
It was already dark when we left the recording studio to set off and meet Lafayette for dinner. She slid behind the wheel of her car and Amelia sat on the passenger seat.
"So where are we having dinner?"
"We are eating at Les Deux Poissons" Amelia informed her. Dinner, it turned out, was at their favorite French restaurant.
"I'll call Laf… I'll tell him we're on the way"
"Oh hey sugar... where are you?"
"I see...I'll tell Sookie… well Bon appétit! see you in a few"
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Amelia's blackberry beeped and she giggled.
"What's making you so giddy Amelia? Did Tray send a naughty text?" She smiled.
"Guess… who Laf saw at the restaurant…"
"Amelia it could be anyone…"
"Yvetta" Oh great. Of all the people that they could encounter during dinner it had to be Yvetta. Yvetta has a decent acting talent. She used to be a cast in some popular daytime telenovela. Now her works consist of indie movies where she marketed her usually bold, sexy and daring roles. The starlet hated her for some unfathomable reason.
"Lovely"
"He was crashing on her date as of now" Amelia giggled.
"'With whom…?" Uh-oh. This sounded like a warning bell before a tidal wave crashes. Eff, what if it's Eric? Darn it. Yvetta was dating Eric. It's probably Eric. 'Don't want to see him tonight. Eff'
"Ahm… I don't know… 'could be anyone" Amelia answered lamely.
"Maybe…" she tried to protest.
"But I'm really hungry, Sook…" Amelia pleaded. "and we are almost there and Laf already reserved us a table"
"As long as we don't have to go and interact with Yvetta… that woman hates me Ames"
"You know she's just jealous"
They reached the hotel where the French restaurant was located. She parked her in the front and gave her keys to the valet. The restaurant was charming: it looked like pictures that she had seen of the French countryside. As they walked in, they were greeted by a maitre d' and violin music. The woman standing at the podium was beautiful and she smiled brilliantly at them.
"Ms. Sookie Stackhouse"
She smiled at the hostess and nodded.
"This way please"
The walked and Amelia said, "Hey Sook why don't you go sit on our table while I go fetch Laf"
"Fine… fine just don't bring her on our table… will I order for you and Laf?"
"Yup the usual…" Amelia grinned widely "See you in a few Sookie" She winked
She rolled her eyes.
As she followed the maitre d' to their table, Sookie looked around the room and saw the familiar walls made of stones, pastoral paintings, and a mantel covered with candles and greenery over a fire place. There are other couples who whispered to each other affectionately. She didn't glance at the direction that Amelia was heading.
"Ms. Sookie…"
"Oh hey Bob" She greeted him back. She was already quite familiar with the names of the staff. Bob handed her the menu. "May I bring you a cocktail or would you prefer a bottle of wine?" the waiter asked. This was an excellent question. She looked down at wine menu and ordered a pinot noir for them. She also placed the orders for the entrees
She tried her best not to glance at Yvetta's table. She tried… and failed. Stealing a cursory glance she let her gaze wander at their direction. And she saw him.
'It's Eric…fuck' It's him. Of course it's him. He and Yvetta were dating. It's only natural that's they'll go out. She felt a twinge on her chest. She breathed deeply. Well… he was cheating on her. 'He cheated on her… with me.' Maybe they aren't exclusive. Maybe Yvetta was just one of his girlfriends. Surely it isn't serious enough. If…
'Why do I care?' She didn't care who he dates. She didn't give any flying eff if it's serious or not. 'Damn him'
'I hate him… I hate her.' Why did they have to have their date here? Why does he have to ruin her night? Isn't it enough that she'll see him next week?
'Does he even remember me?' Damn him. Probably not... 'I'm just one of the nameless faces the he had sex with…' She knew this already but it still angered her. She stole another glance. He was still as handsome and as breathtaking as ever.
'Would he recognize me, if I walk towards their table and introduce myself?' Pathetic… It's pathetic… Why did she even think of it? It isn't like she could do just that. She wouldn't do that. She isn't pathetic. She isn't clingy.
And why hasn't Bob served our wine?
This was probably my instantaneous karma for using him as her inspiration. A reality check… something to dash the small hope that had flared inside her chest a few hours back. 'There you go, Sookie… an in-your-face proof,' you've been obsessing about something that obviously meant nothing to him.
'Will he…will he…' She stood up. Will he sleep with her tonight? What a stupid thing to wonder. Of course he will. She should leave. She should wait at the car or maybe drive home and let Amelia ride with Laf. Either that or she walks towards them. And what? Confront him? Ask him if he remembers her? Tell Yvetta to back off because Eric was hers? Right.
'No…Damn it! I have to calm down. I'm being irrational… a fight or flight response…? Really? She isn't some stressed lioness in a National Geographic's' show.' She sat back down. She breathed in deeply. 'I'm a grown woman… I'm not a slave to my emotions… I'm better than this… he's just a guy…' She didn't care how much catecholamine or adrenaline is coursing in her bloodstream due to stress, (an explanation she learned from watching N.G.) she can override her physiologic response; she can and will calm down. She can survive this dinner. And if she met Eric tonight…? Who cares? 'To hell with him…
"Hey Sook" Lafayette kissed both of her cheeks. "How are you hun…"
She debated for a moment to say she's fine and everything is peachy before she decided that an honest response was best, "I've been better…" She smiled a bit. Laf and Amelia exchanged meaningful glances. "How are you?" She inquired as she didn't want to explain further why she was in a bad mood.
"Great as always"
"And Yvetta?"
"I invited her to the charity gala"
"That's… nice… we need more support…"
"In the spirit of being patient I would reserve my questions till later…" Laf said
Amelia nodded. "Ditto"
She smiled at them. Bob came with our wine. After Lafayette okayed the selection we were all served. The dinner went on without a hitch. Tactfully Amelia didn't mention Eric. She stole glances at Eric and Yvetta every now and then. If Laf or Amelia noticed her pre-occupation, they weren't voicing their concern, which she appreciated as she still wasn't sure, what she'll tell them exactly.
They were being served the main course when the couple left. 'The couple… bleh,' it left a bitter after taste in her mouth. She knew she was jealous. She knew she has no right to be. But she was. She couldn't help but wonder what they'll do after dinner. Eric will probably be with Yvetta all night.
Feeling like this sucks… She wanted to pout. She wanted to cry. She wanted to throw a tantrum. She wanted to rip Yvetta off Eric. These maelstrom emotions have to be suppressed for the moment. How the hell does she deal with this? Ack… effing drama. She hated it. She can handle this. She can manage it. She will overcome it.
'How do I do this?'
She couldn't do it by herself. She would need Lafayette and Amelia's help.
The three of them squeezed against each other on top her bed. She calmed herself and coughed before saying with all the nonchalance she could muster.
"Laf, Ames- I've been…" She sighed "…deflowered." She couldn't help but chuckle at her ridiculous choice of word.
Amelia snorted.
"What?" Laf asked.
"Laf… Sookie had just said she just had sex"
"Oohlala" Lafayette hugged a pillow. "When darling? And more importantly who?"
Amelia giggled. "I have…"
"Shut it Amelia…"
She told them what happened. Their meeting in the secret lagoon, the afternoon in his underground cottage, their night in her cottage, to her disappearing act the next day. Laf couldn't stop biting his fingers- that was his usual habit when anxious; Amelia hugged a pillow into which she screamed every now and then.
"You pulled a fuck and chuck on…"
"Oh God, Amelia… your shameless! will you stop…!"
"So… you two are not telling me something… I see… spill now"
"She…"
She glared at Amelia before continuing. "It was Eric, Laf… I had sex with Eric"
"Eric, who? Oh!" You can almost hear that something had clicked in Lafayette's mind "Fuck me! The Eric from dinner?" He asked in a high pitched tone.
She nodded grimly.
"The Eric… who will be your guest next week?" Laf clarified disbelievingly. "Eric… as in Eric Northman?"
"Yes." She said simply.
Laf blinked a few times before bursting out laughing. "Then why are we eating pistachio ice cream, hun? Didn't you say it was perfect?"
"It was…"
Amelia decided she wasn't verbose enough so she helped her. "She was doing okay this morning… all perfect and glowy… that is… until she learned that Eric will be her guest on the show"
"And?"
"Laf… I'll suck… I just know it… He affects me in a bad way… my composure… Laf…"
"Sookie Stackhouse! You cut it out. Are you an actress or not?"
"I was 3B's the last time I talked to him"
"4B's" Amelia corrected.
She raised an eyebrow.
"boneless, breathless, brainless and blonde"
"Help me…" She turned to Laf. "I don't want to be humiliated in front of him… I would be…" She continued voicing her fears.
"What do you want Sookie? We'll help. You know we would"
"I want- casual indifference… at its finest."
"What if he recognized you? Surely you have considered that… by the way I loathe black on you…"
"Well… she had that bobble-headed stereotypical ditzy blonde moment where she thought changing her hair color would actually work… She should just have asked me, I would have advised a face reconstructive surgery, if you really want to play incognito" Amelia teased.
"Wow that's really funny" She deadpanned.
"Sookie… you should be ecstatic, you are starting to live a life like a true diva!" Lafayette explained. "All the glitz! And now you have drama… I can't wait for the next chapter to unfold"
"This is what your life needs…" Amelia agreed. "Now…" She grinned widely with mischief evident on her big brown eyes "… why don't we show Laf that titillating image you had on your iphone"
"You nosy bitch!"
"Oh hun, dial 1-800-GET-OVER-IT." Amelia burst out laughing. "Surely you didn't think you could keep that tasty morsel for your own viewing pleasure only. By the way, I love it. Even if it didn't feature his face… the view of his glorious backside alone was…" She bit her lower lips and shivered dramatically. "…panty dropping hot"
"Amelia! Give me her phone. Now!"
It was almost morning and she couldn't sleep. Images of what Eric and Yvetta were doing at this very moment kept flashing in her mind. They probably were fucking like rabbits.
"Damn it! Get out of my head already!" She sat on her bed. She was angry at Yvetta. She was angrier at Eric. But she was angriest at herself.
She opened her pc notebook. She stared at it for awhile, at a loss on what to do. In the end, she googled his name.
'I wonder if he has a facebook or a twitter account.'
It was a good thing that he didn't. What will she do? Follow the guy or add him as a friend in facebook? Right. It's pathetic. It's as pathetic as her being jealous on Yvetta. She has no right to. She didn't want to.
But she couldn't help it. She took out her journal from under the bed. Maybe it will help if she wrote it down.
On top she wrote the title… I hate Yvetta. No. She erased Yvetta's name and replace it with, her. I hate her. It made her feel better to replace the starlet's name. Still unsatisfied, she added Jealous enclosed in an open and close parenthesis.
I hate her (Jealous).
She was tempted to add a sad (T-T) emoticon to befit her current mood. She shook her head at her childish ways.
Then she wrote, Yvetta, I hope you burn in hell and die, as the first line. She smiled perversely before she erased it. Only Billie Joe Armstrong can get a way with a line like that. Instead she wrote, Tonight I saw you with her and got jealous. That was quite direct. She erased it. It wasn't what she wanted. 'I got jealous of the bitch who caught your eye'. Bitch, huh? She replaced it with woman before she changed it to girl.
And I'm so pissed about it. Ack. How poetic, she thought sarcastically. She erased the second line and wrote, It was one of my darker days.
She remembered how close they were tonight at the restaurant. 'When you were with her, where was I?' She pouted at the next line. She was just sitting at least 15 feet away from them. And he didn't even recognize her. Since she's being completely honest with herself she added, I should have been in her place, as the last line of the first stanza. She frowned. Shoot me now.
She wrote the second stanza and the chorus, in much the same manner- erasing the offending words, deleting or adding words to make them rhyme a bit. She looked down at her almost finished song/poem. She couldn't believe she wrote one for Eric. No it wasn't for him, it was for Yvetta. Yvetta hated her. She's just reciprocating the starlet's hatred.
Jealous
1: Jealous of the girl who caught your eyes; 'One of my darker days
When you look at her, where was I?; Shoulda' been in her place
2: Here I am; All alone imagining what might have been
What could have been; If I had been there
Chorus:
Jealous of the one who's arms are around you; If she's keeping you satisfied
Jealous of the one who finally found you; Made your sun and your stars collide
She's a very very lucky girl
She's not!
She tore the piece of paper where she wrote the song. She crumpled it and thrown it on the dustbin.
She sighed
"I really got it bad this time"
A/N2:
*In a nutshell: (1) Sookie has feelings for Eric and she didn't like it. (2) Eric is preoccupied with Sookie and he interprets it as lust.
**You'll review right? You know how much I love them. As always there will be a teaser for ch10: The games we play.
***Songs Stuffs: I don't own any of them. Lyrics I've used: (1) I feel for you by Kyla (2) You made me stronger by Cacai Velasquez (3) Jealous by Nina. The Album Title, 'A Sorta Fairy Tale'- Tori Amos
Addendum: So this isn't a part of the SCKL… just some random musings.
Xtabel: (Walks towards Sookie's room and picks up the crumpled paper where the song Jealous was written) This (uncrampling the piece of paper) has potential… you know. When was the last time you ever wrote a song? Hmmm. Ah yes…never.
Sookie: (looks away) Mind your own business.
Xtabel: But hun you are my business… and right now you're irritating a boat load of people.
Sookie: (raises a brow). Say's you. Confused anyone lately? Now that's irritating.
Xtabel: (plops on Sookie's bed unceremoniously) Hey. I had fun writing that pseudo-chapter! (glares) And with what I've planned for you and Eric… oops. I'm not going there… Anyway my mistake was that I posted it before chapter 8.
Sookie: (chuckles darkly) And they say, I'm the one who loves to rationalize my actions.
Xtabel: No, but you love to project and deflect though (grins wickedly). So let's talk about you… I mean Eric.
Sookie: (looks annoyed) I'm tired of talking about Eric. Eric… Eric… Eric… not everything revolves around that guy, okay?
Xtabel: You'll meet again next chapter…
Sookie: I'll be fine. Laf and Amelia will help me.
Xtabel: You like him.
Sookie: Who wouldn't be attracted to Eric? He's Eric. But that doesn't mean I wanted to get to know the guy better. He's not for me, okay? I'm sure you can pair me with a guy who is tamer than him… JV or Preston perhaps… not Quinn though or Bill (makes a disgusted sound).
Xtabel: (shakes her head) No, it's Eric for you. Yield and have an HEA already.
Sookie: You do remember who you are talking to right?
Xtabel: You're too hard headed.
Sookie: I don't like him as a person. He's a womanizer and he acts like he's god's gift to women. That ego… is that even legal? (rolls eyes) You're really gonna pair me with him? What does that say about you?
Xtabel: Honey, you're deflecting again. It isn't about me. It's about you.
Sookie: (glares) I'm not gonna be a doormat. I've been that way with Bill… it didn't work
Xtabel: Bill isn't Eric.
Sookie: He's worse than Bill.
Xtabel: You're making presumptions… without even giving him a fair trial.
Sookie: Make me pregnant
Xtabel: (Laughs) You'd like that wouldn't you? There's more to him than just a viable and ideal sperm donor you know. And it's…
Sookie: Unethical. I never said I'm perfect. I'm flawed. If it's my mistake, then so be it. It's not like I'm gonna…
Xtabel: (gives Sookie the evil eye)
Sookie: (folds her arms) Fine. Be that way… Will you at least make sure that I'll kick Eric's ass next chapter? Side with me, this time? You're a bit unfair. You're pro-Eric.
Xtabel: No I'm not. I've given his GP a wilting experience didn't I?
Sookie: Whatever, just please don't embarrass me too much on the set. It's my show afterall
Xtabel: I… (laughs) now why would I do that (tries to look innocent…fails)