I don't own Degrassi . . yet! Lol

Chapter 5

My thoughts drifted all over the place that night.

I kept thinking about Eli and I. The past and how beautiful it was.

The magic that was present between the two of us.

*Flashback*

"Eli, where are you taking me?" I asked with a smile on my face, while Eli's hands were covering my eyes.

"You'll see don't worry."

I just laughed. I got that butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach all over again.

It usually happens when I think, see or even touch Eli.

That's how I knew we meant to be.

"Ok, open your eyes."

I opened them, and I'll never forget.

It was in the middle of the park. There was a picnic blanket on the ground with flowers all around it. It was amazing.

"I didn't think you were the romantic type." I turn around and smile at him.

"Well you bring out that side of me."

We kissed and went on over to the flowers.

That night I couldn't sleep.

He kept me up, with his flowers, his romance, himself.

*Flashback over*

I honestly don't know what to do.

I'm in love with an engaged man.

The doorbell rang, and I got up from the comfort of the couch and opened the door.

"Hey!" I smiled and hugged him.

"Hey, it's been a while. How are you?"

I let him in, and we went over to the couch.

"I've been better."

Then things got awkward.

"Clare, is there a reason why you invited me over?"

"Yeah." I took in a big deep breathe. " I need to get closure from you."

He looked at me confused.

"You were my first boyfriend, the first guy I ever let myself be around the way we hung out. KC, I thought we were great. Then you went and did something I never thought you'd do to me."

He looked guilty. Mostly because he was.

"Clare, I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to happen that way."

"I'm not here to tell you that I blame you, and all that other crap. I moved on, but I never went pass the fact that I never felt good for you. I knew you lost interest, and I kept telling myself that maybe if I change it'll help, but it didn't it only pushed you further, and now here we are. KC I just want you to know, that I'm sorry thing didn't work out. That we couldn't be perfect for each other."

"Clare, you have nothing to be sorry about." He looked deep into my eyes, and held my hands like he use to. "I'm sorry, that I went and screwed things up. If you don't mind me asking, why are we bringing all of this up now?"

"Eli and I broke up before I went to college, I wrote a book about it and he wanted to talk to him and I ignored him for 5 years and now he's engaged."

"Oh." He hugged me, and I just cried in his arms. "Clare, you can't hold in all of this. You gotta tell him."

After a while of talking with KC, he left, and I felt better. Getting a guy's view on the situation really helped. I'd have to talk to Eli tomorrow.

I went up to my room, and looked for my cell phone.

I finally found after hours of looking for it.

I turned it off, lay in my bed, and dozed off to sleep.

Hopefully, I'm not too late.