Kensi sat in her hospital bed thinking about what she heard the night before. She loved Deeks too but she still couldn't cope with the fact of him loving her. He had thought she was asleep. Maybe, maybe he was dreaming or drunk or something. She really couldn't imagine having anything but a partner relationship.
"Hey, I'm going to go get some coffee. You want any?" Deeks asked her as he stood up out of his chair to stretch.
"No thanks,' she said in barely a whisper. It felt weird talking to him after everything she heard last night. I mean he said he wasn't going to leave as long as she still needed him. But the truth is she'd always need him. Her heart had that weird empty feeling when she was without him or when he flirted with other girls. But now she thought that was just to make her jealous.
"Ok, your loss," he said after he left the room. Ugh, why did he have to be so firkin' charming! She couldn't tear the thought of them together out of her mind. She thought about how happy they could be, the ridiculous fights they would have, not to mention the rest of the team finding out. That thought brought a smile to her face.
"What are you smiling about?" Deeks asked when he came back. In his hand was a medium sized coffee cup. She could smell the freshly ground coffee beans.
"Just life." She lied through her teeth.
"You just got blown up, nearly died and you're smiling about life?" he asked the tone in his voice made it sound like he thought she had gone absolutely mad but maybe she had.
"Hey I could be dead! I have a right to smile!" she replied with a kind of snappish tone in her own voice. She looked into his eyes. His eyes were an icy blue. They were beautiful. They copied his cheerful attitude. Even when he was in one of these beds, the cheerfulness never left his eyes. It made Deeks, Deeks!
"You have a point," he said after taking a moment to think about it. "Hey is it almost lunch time? I'm starving!"
"Deeks, it's ten- thirty in the morning. You know lunch isn't for another two hours and besides if you want lunch, you're not chained to that chair."
"I might as well be!"
"You're such and idiot" she told him as a smile grew on her face. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. She prayed to god Deeks hadn't noticed. She realized just then that never, not once had she ever called him by his first name. Marty just didn't really fit him. Everyone knew him as Deeks. But this only made her blush even more.
"I'm tired," she lied again. She really just wanted an excuse to turn away from him so he wouldn't see the pink on her cheeks. She wasn't ashamed. No she loved him but she just wasn't sure how to say how to say, Oh I heard you say you loved my by the way I love you too. No that would just freak him out way too much. Deeks has never been the best at expressing his feelings but we could usually always tell what was on his mind.
Just she needed to get him to actually say it to her face. She needed to know.
Deeks thought this was weird Kensi usually never fell asleep after ten. It was usually like an hour after lunch that she went back to sleep. He wondered what was going on. C'mon Deeks, she'd tell you if she was feeling worse. She would, he told himself again and again. He had nothing to worry about. But what if she was slipping away?
Maybe the doctors didn't see something that could harm her severely like a piece of shrapnel or some burns got infected although he didn't think that infected burns could do too much damage but he still worried about her. He loved her after all. Oh my god! What if she heard him last night? He wasn't sure if he could handle that.
No she couldn't have. She was asleep. He was sure of that. Whatever this is she would tell him when she was ready. A call from Callen snapped him out of his trance.