I would have strutted into my last class if I had less self-control. Luckily, I do, if only physically. I can at least act like a rational, down-to-earth fifteen-year-old even if my thoughts are a little strange….
Anyway, I would have strutted into the classroom. It was Art, after all. Art, a perfect synonym for eternal happiness and/or contentment, was Kami's gift to man and my personal safe haven. I took my seat and noticed a scrap of paper some undeserving idiot had left behind.
Jackpot.
I began sketching a new puppet design I was working on. All too soon, however, I was disturbed from my tranquil work by Orochimaru-sensei. "Alright class, today we have a special treat. We have a new student joining us today." I feigned indifference as I looked up and saw that stupid blonde girl perk as she kindapped my gaze and she waved, excited at the familiar face.
My jaw dropped. She was in my sanctuary now too?
"This is Deidara-kun." Orochimaru-sensei said cheekily. My jaw dropped even further. I had only ever heard of the name Deidara as a boy's name. Did that mean "she" was a "he"? I felt somewhat queasy for thinking him attractive before.
"Now, where should we seat you, Dei-kun?" He asked rhetorically. I would have gagged at his cotton-candy tone, but his eyes were now sweeping the classroom.
They landed on me.
I shook my head in angry determination. Oh no, no way was he going to shove that gender-bending kid onto me. Once again though, Kami was not so kind.
"Sasori, you don't have a seating partner yet. Why don't you let him sit with you?" He smiled at me (that stupid, pedophilic geezer)! "Oh, and since you're the only one in the class without a partner for the art project I assigned last week, I'm making him your partner."
Un. Fucking. Believable.
"But Sensei—" I began to protest, but my teacher would not hear a word of it. I found myself wishing once again that Gaara or Sasuke was here to protect me from the blond nightmare. Orochimaru-sensei sent Deidara over to my table and he happily sat down.
"Hey, un!"
"Hey," I mumbled.
"Looks like we're going to be partners! Do you want me to come over to your house today, un? After all, we would probably get a higher grade if we started right away, un."
"Yeah, whatever," I said, disheartened. Hey, you would be too if you had some new kid who looked EXACTLY LIKE YOUR EX walking around the school and making you miserable in your favourite class. But I gave him my address anyway. It was whatever.
"Thanks, un! I'll be over there at 5.30. Okay, un?"
Okay, what the fuck was up with this kid always saying that?
"What the fuck is up with you always saying that?" I was proud that my blank voice was becoming trademark again. (Note to self: Never fight with a cheating blonde in public again.) His smile faltered a little but it was back in place so fast, anyone else would have thought they had imagined it.
I knew better than that.
"What do you mean, un?" Oh, so now he was going to play dumb, was he?
"That!" I hissed, my anger increasing with every word we exchanged. What it was about this boy that completely set me on edge I did not know, but my jaw wanted to kill me for the pressure I was putting on it. My brain would not give the command for me to stop though.
"That stupid word you put at the end of every fucking sentence you say." I quickly glanced around the classroom to see if anyone had heard the curse word. The last thing I needed was for that old bat at home to be called down to the office and embarrass me and then I'd have to sic some puppets on her annoying ass and have some badass yet unfortunately efficient ninja squad on my ass. (Ugh, I hate that woman. Hate her so much….)
Finding that no one had noticed, I turned back to the problem at hand.
"You mean my speech impediment, un?" He asked quietly, dejectedly. If I liked him or was any more of a person, I probably would have felt a little guilt. But I didn't, rolled my eyes, and moved on.
"Well, if you're talking about that word 'un,' then I guess yeah, I would be talking about your speech impediment."
At first his eyes left mine as his face crumpled into sadness and then anger, but eventually he met my gaze again and a smirk grew. He chuckled. "I don't really know why I say it. I guess I need to work on that, un." He leaned in closer, so close that I discovered his breath smelled of peppermints and strawberries (weird combination, I know) and that his eyes were a bright shade of blue that could rival Naruto's. "Maybe you can help me work it out while we do our projects, un?" He purred.
Whoa. Whoa, NO!
This kid was coming on to me! This kid was trying to turn me gay!
Normally if it had been Naruto playing a joke or hell, another boy for that matter, I would have flinched and scooted away, but for some reason I was trapped by that vivid blue abyss and I could not look away. Deidara ended up being the first to break eye contact so he could pay attention to what Orochimaru-sensei was talking about. That pissed me off to no effing end and I vowed never to like this guy even in the slightest.
I think that was when Cupid set out with a personal vendetta against me.
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~
"I'm home!" I called. I did not know why I bothered. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me, my grandmother was all I could see. She bombarded me with her usual interrogation method of asking every possible question ever invented before I can even get a breath to answer.
"How was your day at school, Sasori? Did you meet any new girls today, Sasori? When are you going to get over that Yamanaka girl and get back into the dating scene? You know she wasn't any good for you. You know, if you stopped messing around with those damn puppets I showed you how to make and you came out of your room every once in a while, you would be able to get another girlfriend and give me grandchildren."
I sighed. All I could do was answer the woman.
"Horrible—as always, but what can you expect? No, and if I did I sure as hell wouldn't bring her over here so you can scare the poor girl away. (Your wrinkled smile is fucking terrifying.) You're really heartless, you know that? And how can you say that about my precious puppets? They're like my children! What would I have if not my beautiful creations?"
Granny Chiyo rolled her eyes in way that was scarily similar to mine. "How about a life, Sasori?"
I ignored her. (Because she's a BITCH!)
"And besides, I can't give you grandchildren. Do you want to know why that is? Any wild guesses?" I paused for the answer I knew she would not give. "Okay, maybe because I am your grandchild, Grandmother!"
She huffed. "It doesn't really what we call them, does it? As long as you give your children."
I could tell neither one of us was going to forfeit our positions any time soon, so I just moved on to the next topic. "Oh yeah, someone's coming over today." I said indifferently as I flopped down onto our couch to do various homework from other classes throughout the day. Granny apparently did not take the news as lightly as I did.
"Really? A girl?"
"No, a boy. Deidara."
"Oh, a friend of yours?"
"Not really, and don't you dare get that gleam in your eye. It isn't what you think it is."
"Oh, isn't it?" She laughed as I gathered my school things again. I dragged it all upstairs to my room and crashed onto my bed, feeling a bit sorry for myself. Why did I have a grandmother who enjoyed being an embarrassing matchmaker? Why did my new partner remind me of my ex-girlfriend when all I wanted to do was to forget Ino ever existed?
By the time I finished my homework, I was not in any better of a mood than I was this morning. I glanced at the clock: 5.29. At the same moment, I could hear the ominous doorbell and the even more ominous shuffle of Granny Chiyo's feet across the wood floor. (Honestly, I don't know how that woman is still alive. I shudder to think about it.) I jumped off of my bed and I tried to run down the stairs as fast as possible, but she already beat me to the door.
"Hello, you must be Deidara-kun."
"Good afternoon Akasuna-san. Is Sasori home, un?"
She chuckled in that (OBNOXIOUS!) way she does and the very sound sent chills running impishly down my spine (the little bastards). "Oh, there's no need for such formalities. After all, you're going to bear Sasori's children soon." My—admittedly shrieked—"Grandmother!" went unheard and unnoticed as she leaned closer to Deidara. "He's very lonely, you know." Her lifted cheek wrinkles made her eyes close in mirth. Deidara's wide eyes peered over her shoulder to look at me in confused—wary—fear.
Okay, this was officially the worst day in my teenage mutant ninja life.
A/N: Well, another chapter (finally) up! And yay, Deidara's not a "girl" anymore (even though Sasori's not particularly happy about this fact)! ^_^ And again, a special thanks goes out to Blood Drenched Scorpion, RedTori90, FaintReality, Shinsetsu13, ArcaneHiddenMagic, Ibbited, majikku, Ayane, mMadKittYy, DeidaraUlquiorra, and FreakyPumpkin for all the wonderful reviews! Gosh, I wasn't expecting that many reviews for the second chapter, that's just amazing! XD You guys seriously helped me crank this chappie out (sorry about the crappy, seriously GOD AWFUL length, though) and I thank you for that! Thank you all SO MUCH!
PREVIEW!
The bane of my oh-so-awesome existence found me as I sat on the swing set.
"Hey, un!"
"…"
He chuckled. "You don't talk much, do you, un? That's okay though, I like that, un."
"I'll bet you do," I muttered.
Another chuckle and I cringed at his ability to be so damned happy. "What did you say, un?"
"…"
We sat in (blissful) silence for a while before he spoke again.
"You know, un…." He hesitated and I looked at him then—I could not help it. "Well…your grandmother invited me to dinner at your house tonight. Just thought…you ought to…know…un?" He turned away from my evil eye(s).
I hate everyone and also My. Life!
And that's a wrap folks! Yay! XD
Happy trails everyone,
~theflawintheplan