Since is still acting up and I can't edit anything in the actual synopsis I will just tell here that, obviously, all the drabbles may contain DA2 spoilers. :)

Ok, so about this drabble. I used my canon Hawke here, she romanced Anders and spared his life(for many reasons) but I was always curious how does the 'kill Anders' cutscene looks like if you did romance him. So I looked and... That was very anti-climatic. it is, of course, obvious that in Bioware canon Anders lives but if you make a game where a person can be killed while in romance, can't the cutscene be a bit more... personal or something? :/ So I decided to write a drabble about how I would like the cutscene to unfold. Of course it contains a lot of sappy drama (Anders, bringing you cringy sappy phrases since... well... DA2, lol)

Peace out,

AngelT

The Freedom for The Wicked

"I will leave your … friend for you to deal with. I must return to the Gallows, meet me there as soon as you can." Orsino gave Anders a long stare and then quickly left the scene. Hawke thought he saw something in his eyes but she could not figure out what and she did not want to make false and useless guesses.

The crimson light of death in the skies had died down but she still felt her skin burning from the little flakes of ashes gracefully falling from the skies. Like a black snow it slowly started covering everything around them. None of her friends had spoken a word, they just kept looking at the man, sitting on a half-broken box and clutching hands together so hard his fingers were getting white.

Pity and compassion in Merrill's gaze – she knew the price of sacrifice too well; grim determination in Aveline's eyes – her heart was telling her to do what she thought was right but her loyalty to Hawke was forcing her to act otherwise; confusion in Varric's – he had suspected but he never thought the mage would go this far.

Hawke gestured her comrades to stay where they are, she was almost sure some of them would not mind gutting Anders right on the spot. Sad smirk crawled on her face – a fortune Fenris had joined the Templars, otherwise Anders would be dead a second after the Chantry turned into the bright vortex of light.

She slowly came towards him; Anders moved his head slightly, acknowledging her presence and returned to his previous condition.

"Anders…"

"There is nothing you can say that I hadn't already said to myself." he answered, his voice cracking down from pain and grief. She thought he would stop there but Anders took another shallow breath and continued. "I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice all mages have awaited!"

It felt wrong standing behind his back. Hawke wanted to look at his face again, just the face as she knew there was hardly anything else left to salvage for her memory. A grim feeling of events to come was twisting and nagging inside her. She knew how this would end but she wanted to talk to him this one last time. To see if she is right, if it is really the thing to do.

"I might have understood your motives if you shared with me. This could have been avoided." Hawke kneeled besides him, looking in his face and trying to catch his gaze.

Anders was so tired, it felt like a horrible weight was lifted from his shoulders but it did not bring the peace he was yearning for. The weight might have been gone but the feeling of it stayed behind, pressing even further. Somewhere deep within his inflamed and lost mind, the last remnants of former Anders knew it was a mistake. But he had gone too far, he had sacrificed too much: his happiness, his life, himself. He could not go back even if he wanted to. Even if he had any strength left. And there was none, Anders was fading away.

Hawke saw that.

"I wanted to tell you… but what… what if you stopped me? Or worse! What if you wanted to help?" his voice got a bit anxious and now it was him who was searching for something to hold onto in Hawke's face. "I couldn't let you do that."

She did not say anything and neither did any of their friends. They all watched and waited for some sort of sign. Hawke would know what kind when it appears before her. Not getting the response he was hoping for Anders continued talking. He obviously felt the need to justify his horrible doing. But not only to the people he had grown accustomed to call friends, not to Hawke, with whom he had spent so many nights. It almost seemed as if he wanted to convince himself that what he did was right. Justice and Anders were struggling within and it was exhausting for the latter.

"The world needs to see this. Then we can all stop pretending the Circle is the solution. And if I pay for that with my life… then I pay. Perhaps then Justice would at least be free…"

There it was, that little signal she had been waiting for. The words that came from Anders, not from the abomination he had become.

Not all the nights they had shared together were spent rolling in the blankets. Sometimes they had talked together for hours, telling each other about their youth and adventures they've had before their fates had crossed in Kirkwall. Even after all those years together Anders was still a bit reluctant to talk about himself but Hawke was a smart woman and from all his stories and comments she managed to scrape a portrait of Anders as he used to be: cheerful man with a passionate love for cats, sarcastic sense of humor… But most importantly – the man that would never commit an act or war, no matter how revolutionary its cause may be, if it endangered the lives of many innocent people.

… If I ever ended up a Tranquil I would like my friend to put me out of the misery!...

Anders was not a Tranquil but was his fate any better? Whatever was done to Tranquil made them an empty shells of their former selves but the shells that did not question and existed in peace. Anders was suffering; he was suffocating within, constantly pressed by Justice, loosing pieces of himself since the moment he had agreed to merge with what he thought was a good spirit from the Fade and his friend. Anders was lying. To those around him. To Hawke. Even to himself. From the moment Justice entered his body Anders had become an abomination, struggling for control every second of the day and losing the battle, slowly but surely. He wanted freedom and yet he had never been free, since the day he was born.

Hawke closed her eyes, holding tears back and reached out to a small dagger she was always carrying on her belt. She was about to do something that would never be undone and that would haunt her for the rest of her existence. But she wanted to let him rest. Anders deserved that much.

Hawke looked at the man in front of her once more and slowly stroked his cheek, his stubble scratching her palm. Anders saw the dagger and for a second a flash of light lit in his eyes, he wanted to stand up but as sudden as the surge had appeared it was gone.

"Please Hawke… Aleena." He whispered almost inaudibly and grabbed her wrist, his hand shaking slightly. "Grant me the freedom."

She landed a soft kiss first on his forehead and then on his lips.

"I will always remember you." The dagger penetrated the heart as if it was knife going through the butter. Anders gasped and started to fall forward. Hawke managed to grab him before he hit the ground, his blood pouring over her armor and her hands. It felt like blood was burning through her flesh but she did not let him go. Two more shallow gasps and his chest stopped moving. Hawke gently put him on the ground. Paused for a second and took one raven feather from his robe, carefully tucking it in the small pouch together with other dear mementos of the people long gone she carried with her.

"Orsino is waiting for us. Move, people." She said curtly and watched how the others left in the direction of the Gallows.

…Thank you…

Hawke turned on her heals one more time to look at now marble colored face of her former love. She could swear his lips were curled in the faint smile.

…Rest now, Anders…

She hurried after her companions.